I’m kind of exhausted. And kind of feel like crying and curling up in a ball.
There have been a LOT of memories going through this stuff. And, with that, has naturally come Loads of emotions. Lots of them quite strong, too.
I guess that’s a big part of why I kept the stuff.
And as of this morning, I find myself not wanting to take on cleaning out and going through anything else right now. Like I need a vacation from it.
Especially since so much of my stuff is disorganized amongst the various boxes, the task feels more exhausting. Because, rather then opening up a box and re-living fifth grade, I open up a single box and am going through parts of fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, and possibly even a memory or three from before and after those years. And going through the memories of those years isn’t just ‘going through memories’. It’s also re-experiencing the emotions and thoughts and thought patterns of it all. So, in cleaning through one box, I am living several years – and from the very formative years – of my life in a matter of an hour or few. Talk about exhausting… that is exhausting.
And I want a break from it for a little while, so my mind and my nerve endings can relax again and not be so constantly overwhelmed.