Month: April 2024

Struggles

It has been very difficult for me lately. It hasn’t helped that my husband is stressed with his schooling and work. We both have been stressed, and then also sad. Not to mention the stress we already had about figuring out how to organize and make our house function both well and to our liking – though either would be nice to start.

And he is doing a fast right now, which doesn’t exactly help him to be in a great mood. Though, to be fair, he’s doing much better than he has done on any of the juice cleanses he’s done, by far. Nonetheless, he is still doing a fast.

And I love my husband.

I wish we could have gone on a month-long honeymoon. I wish a lot of things that also are not in God’s plans for our lives.

I’m not sure where I’m going with these seemingly disjointed thoughts… I guess the point is that I am struggling, and we are struggling, and I love my husband.

Post-a-day 2024

Beach Day

We are supposed to leave for the beach at 8am tomorrow. Lightning and rain are expected in Galveston until at least midday. It has been pouring here for hours.

This beach day isn’t feeling great right now.

It is expected to clear and even be sunny by afternoon on Galveston, but still… I’m not thrilled to be up and out in a rainstorm in the morning… :/

Post-a-day 2024

New Neighbors

Well, after five PM today, the house around the corner belonged fully to the new buyers. Our friends are fully in their new house down the road – a bit of a ways down the road, really – and the new folks are moving into their old house.

We took the dog – our friends’ dog that we borrow now – for a walk just after six, both to walk her before returning her by seven and to see if the new folks had shown up yet. And, naturally, there were two new cars in the driveway.

They were unloading seemingly random things from their cars, and not really paying any attention to their surroundings, so they never looked up to wave when we went by, which was a bummer. They had a Chewy box, which suggests they might have a dog. (I say suggests, because those are good boxes, and they very well could have just gotten the box from someone else for the sake of packing and moving.) That could be cool.

When we passed by again, on our way home, someone’s mom and, possibly, brother had just shown up. The mom saw me and waved enthusiastically. I waved back happily. My husband told me, embarrassed, to ‘stop waving like I know everybody’. I told him that she waved to me that way first. He was surprised by this revelation that I wasn’t just being totally nutso, but he accepted it, nonetheless.

I’m hoping they’ll be great folks whom we get to know well and who become friends of ours. Time shall tell.

Do you think they’ll have a big moving truck tomorrow???? Supposedly, they’re coming from an apartment, because they only wanted to buy a house in this area. (Turns out she went to the nearby public high school, so I guess she grew up someone near here.) Anyway, hopefully, I get some more fun intel tomorrow(!).

Post-a-day 2024

Accomplishing things

I got the letters written. I had expected only to do some today, but I sat down again tonight and ended up doing the rest. So, yippee!

There are a few my husband has to do on his own for some of his family members. However, I’ve even gotten his signature on all of the others, so I just need to load the final ones in the morning, once they’re dry, sticker them, and them stamp them all and drop them in the mail.

I am thrilled.

Only three months after the wedding, but they will be a happy surprise for everyone at this point, I hope!

Post-a-day 2024

Meeting stress

I now have a meeting request for next Friday at work with one of the bosses. He’s not so much the one in charge of our jobs, but he is still one of the assistant principals.

There are no details for the meeting. There is no reason given for the meeting. It is simply a meeting calendar request sent by his assistant on his behalf.

It makes me feel too uncomfortable, reminding me so strongly of when people get fired on Friday afternoons. This one is in the morning, but it is late morning, and school ends earlier than most regular jobs. So, yeah, I’m stressing about it.

Ugh.

Why did they have to do that?(!!!)

I’m at home because I needed a break. Why do something to stress me out while I’m having that break? Why????????????? Ugh.

(To be clear, I am officially working, but remotely, meaning I assigned students things to do while I am gone, and I am being compensated for having done that. The words the boss used were ‘take next week,’ suggesting that I don’t even need to be checking my e-mail for student needs. But I’m doing it nonetheless, just to ease my own mind about it all. I’m not answering any of their dumb e-mails, but I am responding to actual needs. I even adjusted the assignment due dates, after a student explained how they seemed like a bit too much and too close together. I felt it was a fair request she made to have them adjusted on the due dates – not the work, just when it was due – and so I shifted all of them to be easier on the kids, while still being helpful.)

Anyway, I can’t change it for now, so I’ll let it be. I won’t reply to the meeting request until I’m back at school, anyway, and I can figure out what I want or need to do at that point. Until then, I’ll let my boss know tomorrow that I have a follow-up appointment and test I have to have done, and that I want to have them completed before returning. I hadn’t said this yet last week, though I was purty darn sure it was going to go that way already. Nonetheless, I need to let him know tomorrow about that and that I plan to return to classes in person on Wednesday.

That being said, I want and need to go see Jesus tomorrow at Church, so I’ll do that.

Thank you, God, for that chance. Keep me safe and well, please, and guide me to do your will with grace and joy, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Much not to do

This week, I am home from work.

So, I want to be home. There are a few things I want to do. I might even get a massage. Otherwise, my intention for this week is not to do. I am here to release and recover. As part of that, I have a few supporting tasks. Beyond those, though, I’m golden for taking it easy and rolling with whatever feels right in the moment for the next several days.

Thank you, God. Thank you. Amen.

Post-a-day 2024

Struggles

I genuinely work each day to be better than who I was the day before. I work to be more the person God calls me to be in this life, to be my best self, constantly in life, and I am always looking to see how newly I can improve myself and my ways of living. And I aim to encourage and empower others to do the same for themselves, both indirectly and, sometimes, directly, openly.

And it is really hard when the people around me pointedly don’t do this, when those close to me not only resist it, but actively grow angry and defensive if I even comment on or question a behavior of theirs… including if it is something that is quite strongly affecting me (let alone others) in a negative way.

Wanting to be my best self, and actively working to be that, is so much a part of who I am, it is hard even to be around those who, for lack of a better way of putting it, seem angry at me for both wanting this and pursuing this. It makes it feel like they don’t want me around at all, nor do they want anything to do with me. That isn’t to say that that is the case – that’s just how it feels. Which still sucks.

Post-a-day 2024