Wild baby

She had an hour and a half during which she napped this afternoon, then about thirty minutes this evening. That’s it. She’s been up since around 9:30am today, which gave her about an hour and a half less than usual sleep for the night. And we went to the beach, where she ran around like crazy the whole time, and fell a bunch and got nailed by waves but kept going. Then we went to a wind-filled lunch. Then she played with my husband outside some more on the sea wall. Then we did the outside play before the basketball game. Then she ran around the basketball game a bunch. And now she’s been playing at home for at least a couple hours, with a math thrown in there a while ago.

It is 00:43. How is she still wild with energy right now??? I can barely think straight or keep myself upright, yet I hear her hollering to my husband in the other room, playing like any old afternoon, freshly recovered from a good nap.

My baby is such a night owl.

Post-a-day 2026

Tired

I’m just so tired. I want to be a great mother and a great wife and a great person. I want to take great care of myself. Yet I am so tired right now, I can barely function, let alone be good or great and any of these roles.

God, guide me, please. Keep us safe and make us well. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2026

Dumb

Do to an unclear wording on a document, my husband had to go to work tonight to sign a different version of something he signed days ago (but was only just told that they’d prefer the differently worded version), in order not to incur a $300 fine and losing something important (which is simply due to a disagreement on the interpretation of wording, remember). Instead of wasting five and a half hours in the car – because his days off are a rare chance for him to spend time with his family – I said to go ahead and spend the money we would have lost, so that he won’t have the marks against him and lose the important part of his work, but so that we also don’t lose so much time together. So, he’s flying to work, which cuts the time down about in half. So, it should take him three or three and a half hours total instead of five and a half to six hours. Not to mention that it is much more entertaining and interesting for him to fly versus drive, and he rarely gets to fly longer distances like that these days.

So, it sucks a lot, but we’re making the best of a dumb situation. He’s also going while we’ll be in bed, so it isn’t as bad of a situation of his being gone during daylight hours or while he could be playing with our daughter instead.

God, keep him safe and whole, please. Make us well and keep us safe and together. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2026

Pandas

“Look. I need you to play with your pandas.” I just said that to my daughter. And then she did play with her pandas, hugging and rocking and kissing them as she talked to them. And beat them up a bit and talked to them and chewed on them…

Post-a-day 2026

Today, it rained

Today, it rained. A lot. And a long time. There really wasn’t much time during which it wasn’t raining today, so our outside time was very limited. And that affected my emotional well-being a lot today. Need to be better about spending more time outside, even if the weather is against comfort.

God, guide us, please, make us well, keep us safe, and keep us together. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2026

Rest

I just need some sleep and rest. I can’t even get any chores done, because I am so tired each day. So, the house keeps getting worse, and my life keeps getting harder because of it very single day.

Post-a-day 2026

NASA

They seem to have made it back safely. For me, that is a big deal. I grew up in the wake of one not making it out at all, and in the real life of one not making it back home. Both affected me deeply and are a huge part of why I can’t seem to watch any live flights of any kind without immense stress folded in with some panic. I pretty much only watch the replay if things go well, and none of it if they don’t.

Post-a-day 2026

Just overstimulated and too tired

I am just overstimulated and too effing tired. I need a break from the constant strain on me and my body and my mind. It feels like half of my energy every day goes into an effort not to break down crying most of the day.

And I am immensely lonely and feeling quite worthless and weak and ugly, and also like a terrible parent. Everyone has feedback for me, but all I really need is to sleep and rest and eat some decent food and breathe a little bit every once in a while, and I might not be a mere step from breakdown all day, every day.

Post-a-day 2026

Growing

As we were getting ready for bed, my daughter picked up my phone off the bed, looked at me while holding it up, and asked, “Dada?” with the intonation of making a request.

It was super sweet and totally adorable. But also slightly heartbreaking, because he will be flying another hour or so, so we probably won’t be able to talk to him before she goes to sleep. Or before I go to sleep. But I still love that she knows that the phone is a way to talk with Dada while he’s at work, and that she knows to ask to talk with him. She’s been asking about him a lot this week, and I always tell her that he’s at work. Tonight was the first she’s asked specifically to call him.

Yesterday or the day before, she asked me about him and we had this little exchange (Yes, it was Monday.):

“Dada?”

“Dada’s at work.”

“Wo’..?”

“Yup. Work. Dada’s at work.”

[pause]

“I wa’ go wo’…”

Heart melting.

I love my daughter. And we both miss my husband so much…

God, guide us, please, and keep my husband and our daughter and me safe and well and together. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2026