hannah ananas

I just finished watching some ice skating from the Olympic Games. I was heartbroken for the couple who got second place, not because they were sad but because their performance was better than the couple that won. According to the judges, the other couple had a more artistic routine and they executed all technique better. However, I am not exaggerating when I say their routine bored me at times. They had several weird parts and there wasn’t much creativity or performance in it. And the guy actually messed up a step. The couple who got second place both had a better routine and performed it flawlessly. They were masters of the ice and of the audience. When they finished, they knew they had performed a first place performance. It was clear. When the first place couple finished, they did not have the same reaction. It would be difficult for me to believe that anyone genuinely evaluated and thought they were going to win.

But then they won. The commentators said that that is just a part of participating in a subjectively judged sport… and that was what got me. Of course… bias and politics. The entire reason I DO NOT MISS dance. Because people suck sometimes, and those sucking people somehow end up on judging panels, and far too often. This isn’t to say that the Olympic judges are sucky people. It wouldn’t surprise me if any other judges would have disagreed with the results, but it doesn’t mean these judges were bad judges. Likely, though, they were biased.

And I think it is hard for me to let go, because I feel pain for that couple. It is all too personal and familiar for me. I spent years knowing I was awesome yet being undervalued and overlooked due to politics and bias at competitions. I hated it. And it made it hard not to start thinking that maybe I actually was just a hopeless case and shouldn’t bother dancing anymore. Fortunately, I tried not competing at an event, and it changed everything for me. I rediscovered how much I love dancing, and I was able to start letting go of the intense grip and strain competition had held over me. Nowadays, my life is busy with other things, and I’m okay with that. I sometimes wish I could go out dancing, but it just doesn’t fit well right now. And that’s okay, because I know there will be dancing available when I become available again. But I don’t miss the community and the environment. I really don’t. It was always so charged with all the competition stuff. And I neither need nor want that energy in my life or in my family’s life.

All that to say that tonight had me realize that these people are probably participating in a sport that is very similar to the sh***y situation all my dance stuff had. And it made me sad. I thought that culture and those practices were isolated. But this makes it seem like they, instead, abound. And that is sad.

God, help us to have judges who are honest and good. Always, please. And thank you for saving me from that world. In your name, I pray. Amen.

P.S. I wish they had won, because their skate was possibly the best I’ve ever seen. May God guide them kindly and lovingly forward. Amen!

Post-a-day 2026

Today was a positive day that was hit with a huge bit of negativity. Essentially, someone was mean and rude to my husband and me, and in multiple ways, and is now trying to pretend none of it ever happened by sending a group text about an event. Then, in the group text and, later, to me directly, was rude and mean and kind of nasty all over again. I did speak up and make a request, and not unkindly. But that just caused all the nastiness to come out. And that sucked. I had hoped she could have some integrity, or at least be a respectful human being. Apparently, that was not the case. Which sucks.

My husband said he’d mostly forgotten about how she was nasty to him, so this kind of brought it all back up, it seems. But it doesn’t work for me to be voluntarily around someone who cannot be even civil or respectful toward my husband, especially when he didn’t do anything to merit the negative behavior in the first place. So, again, it all sucks. And I hate that my husband has to be affected by any of this in the first place.

God, help us to heal from this, please, and to be free of its strains. Show us your will clearly, please, and help us to follow it willingly and joyfully. Please, keep my husband and baby and me safe and well and together. Thank you for our life together. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2026

I was bothered that my body must be struggling with balance right now, because I hadn’t menstruated on schedule, and only today, finally, started 17 days late. (And, before you get any ideas, no, there was zero chance of pregnancy, because that requires certain prerequisites to be a possibility. Anyway…) I haven’t skipped or been delayed in menstruation like this more than maybe once or twice in my adult life (aside from pregnancy). So, I was working hard not to be very stressed about what this might mean about my insides. When I mentioned it to my husband, however, his response was that it must have been a birthday present to me for my daughter’s first birthday. God determined that I could have a rest in celebration of her birthday and of my role in that.

(Even writing this now, it still cracks me up.)

It was silly and sweet, and it definitely eased my ebbing stress about it all. Thank you, Husband, for being so wonderful and loving and sweet.

Thank you, God. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2026

My husband sent me a photo of himself out bowling with coworkers, apparently poorly. He said it was his sad face, and it was specifically a photo of him pointing to his losing score. I responded with a photo of our baby, who was presently fussing, and told him it was her sad face. He replied that it was her ‘I’m tired crying’ face. Fair enough, though it was only partly that.

I later sent him another photo of our baby, this time fiercely crying while sitting on her little toilet, and I asked him what face that was. I sent him a couple photos of it, showing various versions of the intensity of her crying. He simply replied with, “I need to pooooooooop”.

Fair enough, Daddy. She was on the potty because she had just been ripping ’em on the bed. And she hasn’t pooped all day. Though, I hadn’t told him any of that yet! Good job, Daddy. Good job.

Post-a-day 2026

Today, I arrived to Costco and found a great parking spot, in which I proceeded to sit for probably half an hour or more, talking on the phone with my dad while he did his taxes and my baby slept. Whenever I change her environment while she’s sleeping, it always wakes her up within minutes, if not immediately. I wasn’t in a hurry, and I preferred that she get some good rest, so I waited. Plus, it is rare these days that I get to hang with my dad like that, where he’s not already kind of in a rush to get to his next thing. So, it was a really nice time just sitting in the car with my dad on speakerphone and the baby passed out in the back.

Then, once we went into the store, we took our time, and that was really nice, too. Not being in a hurry and enjoying exploring where one is is such a delight, and I am grateful we got to do it twice today.

Thank you, God. Please, keep my family safe and heal our wounds – make us well and whole. Also, feel free to nudge J in your direction, if you will it. I imagine he could use you, if he hasn’t found you again already, as you well know. And thank you for the healing. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2026

Sometimes, it’s the best for all involved to be informed that and to acknowledge that we are failing at something. Because it is usually only at that point that we can begin to work at it in a new way that can lead to our success.

Seriously, though, this is for real, but people avoid talking about it or acknowledging failure for fear of not being good enough and lovable human beings. And that makes everyone suffer more. Failing at something is not necessarily a bad thing – it is not inherently bad. It is usually just a sign of where we need to make adjustments in life. And discussing failure is a very good and helpful and positive thing. So long as it is in a clear effort to achieve improvement, of course. (We don’t do gossipy criticism. Nope.)

Post-a-day 2026

A priest mentioned today that he was told (by a priest we knew for a very long time) that priests should be exhausted by the end of a Mass. They should be participating so fully and putting such intention and effort into the Mass, that they finish it exhausted.

And I really like that. It is the most powerful thing the priest does for the people, and it is so monumental, it makes sense that it would be exhausting.

And I think that participating in it fully is physically empowering – the energy transfers from the priest, through the Mass, and to those participating in the Mass, right? So cool to think of it this way. Way cool.

Thank you, God. Please, keep my husband and daughter and me safe and well. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2026

Literally, poopy time. Thought, just before getting into the shower, as usual, I put my daughter on her potty to go pee. Something seemed very different in her demeanor this time, though. I thought it might be because she was so tired, but it just seemed like she was really upset about something. Then I realized that it seemed more like she was physically straining, not just emotionally. I wondered if she might actually be passing gas, just as I got a whiff of something stinky. Then I thought it was gas. Then I saw the tiny bit of poop in her potty.

I looked at her more closely. Yep, she was very tired, to be sure. But she was also poop straining.

And so, for the next minute or two, my daughter cried and wailed loudly as she sat perfectly on her potty, feet planted (through my guidance), and pooped. A lot. And then she peed, too.

I was sure to have documentation of her first poop in her potty, and sent a photo of her crying on her potty to my mom, explaining it all. When she had clearly finished and ready to get up, it was wildly easy to wipe her butt clean.
My husband had to deal with cleaning the potty itself, because she and I were getting in the shower, and I couldn’t trust her not to get in the way if I’d tried to deal with it on my own. I called my mom, both to tell her and to get her input on how to handle the potty, but she didn’t answer, so I just let him just handle it for this time. I’ll be better prepared next time, to be sure. (Glad I had thought about it at least some already, or I would have been freaking out.)

Anyway, fun times tonight at home!

Thank you, God. Amen.

Post-a-day 2026

Some nights, my husband is home, so I get the pleasure of getting ready for bed all by myself, while our daughter screams her head off in the other room…

😛

Post-a-day 2026

We have tile in our living room. I have always hated that we have tile in our living room, but that is the way all the houses in this area apparently were designed back in the ’50s, and so we just have to deal with it for now. I’m not sure, but there might also be solid concrete under the tile, so it would be a huge undertaking to turn it all into wood that is consistent with the rest of the house.

(That in no way changes that I want to do it, by the way.)

Nonetheless, because we have tile in the living room, it is now very dangerous for our daughter to be in the living room, because she is capable of climbing onto all of the furniture, as of last night. But she isn’t great at not falling off of it all yet. She’s great about it about 80% of the time. And then she acts like she has never safely gotten down from anything ever about 10-20% of the time.

So, I had to scrub and wash four more huge square tiles from the old karate studio today and dry them and put them down in our living room. It looks like a workout studio or something now, red foam puzzle tiles covering the main whole of the living room floor.

But at least I don’t have to be as panicked about my daughter every second I turn away from her now.

God, keep her safe and well and whole, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2026