Yess(!)

Hubby’s home. It’s great. We’ve only yelled a little bit so far, and likely will yell lots more in the near future as we readjust to living together and to living together with and while raising our daughter. Nonetheless, I’m really relieved and grateful that he is here. And I think he is, too. I know we’re both relieved that he has gotten through the most intense and annoying parts of his training now. Now for the exciting and very real stuff.

God, thank you. Please, keep us safe, make us well, and help us to sleep well each night. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2026

Behind

I sat and went through some e-mails tonight. Managed to get through loads, actually, all the way back to December. Still skipped a few and still have loads and loads from before then, but this was a huge step forward. I am grateful for the progress I made while my daughter slept on my chest in the living room tonight. Now to go get ready for bed.

After some more food… hmm…

Post-a-day 2026

So tired

Tonight, for the second night in a row, I am too tired to get my daughter to fall asleep in her own bed. She event wanted to sleep there. I just couldn’t handle waiting long enough for her to finish nursing so she could fall asleep. It happened last night, too. Not good, because it makes for worse sleep for me the more she sleeps with me in a night. But I just couldn’t handle waiting anymore, and she had too much energy. She can play around on my bed while I fall asleep, and then pass out next to me. It would be too much for her to play in her own room and then fall asleep. She gets too upset that I leave her and shut a door while she’s playing. It may sound dumb, but it’s what’s so.

God, help us to sleep well tonight and each night. Keep us safe and make us well, especially my daughter and my husband, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2026

Someone who gets it

I just want to find someone I can relate to with the struggle of pregnancy/labor/delivery/postpartum who voluntarily had more than one kid. Someone who gets what I’ve gone through and am currently going through, and who has already come out on the other side and chosen to have more kids. And is happy about that. Haha. Currently, my brain is a mess with sadness and struggle. It just wants to hear from someone that it’s okay to feel this way and still end up having the big family I want to have.

But it just feels like I’m surrounded by people who cut the corners and do it the ‘in my own interests’ way instead of ‘in the interest of my child/ren’. I need people from the latter way’s mindset in my life. Where are all of them??(!!)

God, guide me clearly, please, and help me to heal now. Keep us safe and make us well. Help my husband always to do well with his work and to find joy in his efforts and tasks. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2026

Comedy

Today, my daughter was standing at the foot of the garage, just yelling, “Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!” on repeat for a few minutes. It was the true realization of Brian Regan’s comedy bit about dogs and their late-night barking. It was awesome. Haha 😀 😛

Brian Regan’s bit

Post-a-day 2026

Home

Well, we did better getting home than I had anticipated, and I am grateful. We both seem to be very tired, which is good – for once, we seem to be synched up! Here’s to hoping for a great night’s sleep for both of us! Cheers!

Post-a-day 2026

Hard times

No, not as hard as the horrible times in that novel by the same name (and which has two separate endings!!! I wrote a research paper all about it in grad school.). But still hard things. Having such high levels of stress on both of us has made interacting hard for my husband and me. We’re both likely overwhelmed by nearly constant high cortisol levels, as well as all the crap that comes with that, physical fitness included. Let alone our general exhaustion from low sleep and high stress all day of every day. So, we’re already struggling. Adapting and facing firsthand how we feel like we’re failing at being the people and the partners and the parents we each want to be is made all the harder by our current situation. So, it sucks. Even still, I think we’ve done better about being nice to one another than we have the past several months. So, improvements, even though we’re nowhere near where we want to be. We are definitely getting better at communicating in general and communicating our needs specifically. Also good.

But I am tired and just want to sleep, all the same… ::big sigh…

Post-a-day 2026

Travel

We made it! I had a solid moment of panic when I arrived at security and couldn’t find an important bag. But my brain started working again after a few seconds, and I found it underneath the stroller. The TSA agent told me not to worry and that I was doing better than I thought. And, though it was simple, it was a very meaningful interaction for me.

Post-a-day 2026

Exhaustion

It is wild to me how quickly exhaustion can have me go from having a comfortable and calm interaction to yelling and cursing and crying.

And it sucks big time.

God, help us, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2026