Eeek(!!!)

I looked over at my daughter as she slid down backwards in the slide, very slowly. A loud, scratching noise was accompanying her sliding. Was she holding something in her left hand? Surely, that had to be making the scratching, it was so loud. It sounded like a screw or something on the wooden slide. As I look more closely, I see lines on the slide. Whatever she is holding truly is scratching the wooden slide, leaving obvious marks. Where did she get something solid enough to leave marks like that? Something that must be dangerous for her to have, if it’s leaving marks at all on the wood…

As I look even more closely, I can see it. And very clearly. What is she holding?

Not a thing.

Sure enough, her nails are digging into the slide and she is letting them scratch the whole time, willingly.

Did that make your ears ache and your skin crawl? Just the memory does it to me, but it was beyond belief in person… it totally freaked me out and had me panicking about her nails and making sure they wouldn’t rip off other fingers. It was both scary for that and disturbing for the sound. Ugh(!).

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Birthday Fun

We went to a rescheduled birthday party today at 1:30pm, and left to go home around 8pm. It was a great party.

I enjoyed myself, but my baby and a real blast. She napped a total of about five minutes today, when she normally naps twice for a couple hours each time. She was wired and loving it all. No slowing down for her, my friends. She don’t even pass out on the short drive home, she was so wired.

Today was great.

Thank you, God. In your name, I pray. Amen.

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January

Happy January, folks! It has been a spectacular one this year.

And yes, her birthday party was a massive success today. Yay!!

Thank you, God. Grant us regular time like this as a family, please. I love you. In your name, I pray. Amen.

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Party Success, then Party Prep

The surprise party for my husband tonight went really, really well. Not everyone ended up being able to make it, but the key players all did, which was awesome. My husband was truly surprised, and he actually made it all the way in the door before discovering what was going on – no one blew it(!). Fun fact: My brother actually almost blew it, because he kept talking after we said to be quiet, when my husband pulled up out front. I had to shush my brother directly, and he asked what the problem was, clearly bothered by the ridiculous notion of having to be silent entirely, versus just moderately quiet. I informed him that the front window was still open (because we had been cooling off the house a bit), and he promptly understood that he genuinely had just about blown the whole thing. But he didn’t(!). And it all worked out great!

I think my husband truly was glad about the whole thing, and that he had a really great time. Thinking about it now, I’m not sure he’s had a time hanging out with friends lately where the conversation doesn’t go directly to talking about his hours and how much more he has to go, etc., etc… For the first time in a long time, not only did he get to spend time with friends in the first place, but without the pressure of knowing he needed to get back in a plane as soon as possible, and without having everyone necessarily remind him constantly of that fact by simply asking about his progress. Tonight, everyone knew he had reached his goal, and we all got to celebrate him and his accomplishment, and, truly, just hang out together. It was really quite awesome. I’m so happy we did it, and I’m grateful it all went so well.

Including the part where my husband forgot that I had asked him multiple times about helping me with party prep for our daughter’s birthday party tomorrow and helping me get to bed early, etc., and even that I called him and asked him to come home now to have a quick dinner together and to help me with getting to bed before he continued his work stuff… and so he was almost an hour late to his own party… fortunately, as one neighbor said, everyone present knows my husband and understood that this all just came with the territory. 😛

Also, this was the first time I’ve ever had kids in my home for real. It was surprisingly easy and okay for me. I had prepped the space and only left out toys I was okay with anyone messing with, and prepared myself to clean a few specific things after the party. That made it easy for me to have all these kids climbing all over everything, even with shoes on, and going kind of wild. They were definitely somewhat tame as a whole, but the kids mostly just played and ran around the whole time, and everyone had a good time. And I was included in that. It was awesome.

Then, as my husband hung on with just the aviation folks at the end, my mom and I started prep for tomorrow’s party. It was a very good night.

Thank you, God. In your name, I pray. Amen.

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Getting ready

Our daughter’s party for her first birthday is Saturday – I say it that way, because it’s actually her second birthday party, since her first one was on her actual day of birth, but it is in celebration of her first year. I wanted it to be easy-peasy and little effort, minimal stress. But I am stressing, anyway. I want it to be great and to be fun and to be clever and cute. We shall see what actually happens. My capacities are still so terribly low, it is very difficult for me to accomplish things and to plan things out well. Especially almost entirely on my own. I have grand plans in my head, but I’m curious to see how they actually pan out given my solo planning and organization right now, so exhausted and having been occupied as a 24/7 solo parent for so long. Just the past few nights of having my husband around even for an hour or so have been amazing compared to what things have been. And that’s saying something.

God, guide us and keep us safe and well, please. In your name, I pray in gratitude. Amen.

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And now…

My baby is a whole year old. She’s been with us on the outside for a full year. Super wild.

Thank you, God. Please, continue to bless us and to keep us safe and well and together. In your name, I pray. Amen.

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Wow

We celebrated my husband’s 1500th hour as a pilot in an airplane tonight by riding that hour with him, the baby and I. Our first family trip. And then, when we got home, we celebrated the first anniversary of our daughter’s birth. Spectacular and wild.

Thank you, God. Please, keep us safe and make us well. In your name, I pray. Amen.

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Brains

I am grateful to understand how my own brain works. I knew I needed a certain amount determined by a certain point in time, and I set myself up for accomplishing that. When my mom fell through on helping me with everything, I had to find an alternate route and support through others. It sucks not having my mom to help me organize and plan, but I think she might have it click how much she has been absent and unreliable lately, when she sees that I did it without her. Not that I wanted to do it without her. But my brain couldn’t handle her last-minute efforts as the main plan. So, trying it very differently this time, and hoping for the best, both now and in the future.

God, guide us, please, keep us safe, and make us well. Also, please, give us best weather this week for everything we’re hoping to do! In your name, I pray. Amen.

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Weather

Today’s weather was very uncomfortable. It was right at freezing and just below freezing while we were out. My entire being was not about it, even though I was excited for the adventure. My toes hurt and my facial skin hurt and my fingers were unhappy. My face was automatically frowning, without my conscious input at all. Wild that people not only live in weather like this for months at a time, but that they do it voluntarily. Totally wild, because I hated it today. If it had been a snow-covered ground, I could get behind it a bit. But it wasn’t. So, I am not.

And no, I don’t want to be in the horrible heat and humidity we have here during the summer. But the trade-offs of people, lifestyle, space, and the rest of the year’s weather and utter lack of horrible cold like today for 362 days of the year make up for it enough right now. And I’m still looking for ways not to be here in the summertimes in the future…

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Speaking clearly

Sometimes, it takes over two years to realize that a conversation is not complete, and that you need to complete it.

Thank you, God, for helping me complete that conversation. Please, keep us safe and make us well, and help us to love one another well and fully. Thank you for our home. Please, keep it safe and well, too. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2026