hannah ananas

I let down my husband tonight and I wasted some money. My daughter and I still could have tried for the trip in the morning, but the chance of not making it to our desired city in time for the event we were attending was just very great, it didn’t feel worth the risk. Especially considering that, if we didn’t make it in time, that would mean that we had gotten stranded overnight at a random airport. Not a cool prospect. Neither was taking longer flights, nor was spending all day in airports, waiting around and hoping. Yes, there was a chance it all could work out great. But there was also a large chance it wouldn’t.

Add onto that that the trip was going to cost us a lot of money, and money that we hadn’t expected to have to spend for this trip when we started planning it and agreed to it. Removing the stress and the hassle of trying to make the flights work, and replacing the immensely high bill with just a single penalty of a few hundred dollars just kind of felt worth it tonight. It was a huge bummer for me – and it still is – but I’m glad we did it.

And the silver lining is that we know how to plan better for next time. Always a learning opportunity for growth.

Thank you, God. Please, keep us safe and make us well. Give us always safe travels, especially my husband. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2026

Got some things accomplished today, both in terms of doing things with the extended family here and in terms of handling some shopping that was needed before our trip on Sunday. Lots of accomplishments today. Just need to find the bandages tomorrow that the store absolutely did not have tonight, stupidly. And annoyingly. It was an awful HEB. Just awful.

Anyway, I’m exhausted. But I am feeling better about our trip Sunday now. Still more to sort before then, but hoping to get a good night’s rest tonight first, and again tomorrow night!

Keep us safe and make us well, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2026

I have reminders to make sure I take care of my nails every so often. I usually have just taken care of my nails when I get the reminders. This time has not been so, and it has been awful. We are on a trip for a few days in a place where I can’t unpack things easily. So, I haven’t been able to get to my nail file when I need it. It has been awful. Do people truly understand how devastating it is not to be able to sue a nail file when one needs one? Just terrible… terrible…

Post-a-day 2026

I didn’t have to get my daughter test for bed tonight. I also didn’t have to wear her down before bedtime. My mom got her ready for bed, simply because she was following my mom around when my mom went tog et ready for bed. And my cousin’s kid was running around playing with my daughter – he’s just four years older – for like a solid hour and a half, maybe two hours, both inside and outside just before that. So, my baby got some good playtime in this evening. Now, she’s passed out atop my mom, snoring away happily. I only had to hold her and nurse her a few times over a couple hours while she finished winding down. (She did get ok the shower with me when I showered just now, but that was mostly because she wanted to nurse, and so I did that and hen let the shower occupy her while I worked on getting myself ready for bed.)

It’s wild how much more energy I feel I have right now… how much less worn down I feel mentally. Just… wild…

Thank you, God. Please, keep my husband and our daughter and me safe and well and whole. Help us all to sleep well each night and to have a great time together. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2026

We’re supposed to be joining family at an Airbnb tomorrow. I have to take an early morning flight for this. And the family will have to be moving out of the Airbnb tomorrow due to a roof leaks en repairs work that needs to be done as soon as possible for that. And the place they recommended as similar/comparable looks awful. I don’t want to touch those beds, let alone sleep in them for several nights. Yikes.

I asked my mom if we can just get a hotel instead. I’m not into this. We shall see what she says in the morning.

God, guide us kindly and clearly, please. Help us to have a great time. Keep us safe and make us well. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2026

I used to hit overwhelm at a certain point. I could handle certain things. Now, however, I can’t handle the same things, because my starting point is nowhere near where it used to be. Imagine you hadn’t slept through the night for several days in a row and were utterly exhausted. Now, go do something that was always hard for you to handle emotionally/mentally, even after a good night’s sleep. That’s where I am, but a year and a half into that not-sleeping situation, and already hitting overwhelm limits every day from the exhaustion of raising a baby almost 24/7 solo. So, yeah. It’s really stinking hard. And I just can’t handle the same stuff I used to be able to handle.

And people get mad at me for not being able to do that. And that sucks.

Post-a-day 2026

Okay, half an hour earlier to bed than last night. A positive. Again only one nap for the day, but kind of late. However, much earlier than the nap yesterday. Also a positive.

Thank you, God. Please, keep us safe, make us well, and give us great sleep tonight and each night. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2026

I thought we might be going to bed early tonight. My daughter never took a nap during the daytime. So, when she finally fell asleep around 6 o’clock this evening, I thought we might be able to go to bed then. However, she was up within an hour and a half, which is shorter than her nap is if she only has one nap in the day. And I’ve only just gotten her back to sleep. At 1:15 in the morning. This has been an awfully long and tiring day. I really hope we get to sleep for long stretches tonight. 

Thank you, God, for the live and support I received today. Please, keep us and my husband safe, make us well, and help us to sleep well and to be together often and happily. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2026

This was my 8pm today:

I don’t remember if I mentioned that I slept horribly last night. She woke up after 2.5 hours, and made it into my bedroom before I could get up. I was just so tired, I used the bathroom, and then let her get in bed with me. She then basically attacked me all night with weird nursing stuff, and so I woke up feeling like I had barely slept. I’ve just felt like crying all day, I’ve been so tired. I had to run errands after a family birthday lunch. She was already asleep, and we were over half an hour from home, so I wasn’t going to be able to nap while she did. I forgot to go to Costco during the errands, and I need the strawberries for our morning smoothie tomorrow. So, instead of getting ready for bed, we are going to Costco right now. It’s days like this that it feels so hard not having a partner with me. She wants to go to bed and is crying. I want to go to bed and I’m crying. But the errand has to be run, so we both get to go to the store right now.

Also, she has been casually spouting the F word all afternoon and evening. I yelled it once this morning while I was crying and trying to do something or other…

God, guide us clearly, please. Keep us and my husband safe and well and whole. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2026

Tonight, I got a glimpse of how a genuine desire to share good things in the world can turn into a tainted anger-based thing. Rather, I saw how the nasty anger one could have actually originated from a desire to share good things. I currently have the desire to share the good things in this scenario. And I felt a lot of bummed out semi-frustration at seeing someone who is severely under qualified to do something being the one doing that something. And I can see how, after years of encountering this, one could become nasty about it and about trying to improve the situation.

I can see how that could happen. Just this one time was hard enough for me to hold my tongue and just to let it be. No one asked for my opinion, despite my high level of expertise in the area, so I did not give it. And I trust that that is okay for now. There are better things to which I can put my mind for now. I hope, anyway. Haha 😛

Post-a-day 2026