hannah ananas

I spend a good chunk of my day either bordering, experiencing, or recovering from tears. On days like today, when I feel, somehow, extra tired, it feels like a constant battle not to yell and cry half the day long.

And yet my husband comes home and instantly – and this always happens – has our daughter happily yelling and giggling and full-on laughing for the whole time they spend together before whatever comes next. I don’t know that she giggled like that even once with me today.

While it’s adorable to witness them having such fun together, it also has me doubt myself immensely, considering that I might be doing an awful job parenting.

And maybe I am. I’m beyond exhausted, and not in a cute, good way. In a miserable way. I literally need some sleep and a rest from near-constant overwhelm every single day, all day and all throughout the night.

Post-a-day 2026

My daughter fell asleep tonight right when I had planned to go shower. So, I worked on some researched I’d been wanting to do (though, on my phone, which was annoying), and let her sleep on my chest for maybe an hour and a half. Then I got up to go shower. When I moved her to my shoulder, she woke up, but put her head right down and closed her eyes.

I asked her if she was ready to shower, once we got to the bathroom, and she said, “No,” with her eyes still closed. So, I went to out her down. But she didn’t like that. I then told her that, if she didn’t want to shower right now, then I had to lay her down. She didn’t fuss that time, and let me lay et down on a pillow thing on the floor of my bedroom, eye shut the whole time.

She slept there my whole getting ready for bed process, face-down, half buried into the pillow. Just as I was considering waking her, she woke on her own. I gave her a super quick solo shower, then dried her and put on a diaper and a set of pajamas (which she did pick herself still), and got her in her bed and nursing and passing out within ten minutes total. More like five, really. Even I was impressed.

Now, we both get to sleep. So, goodnight.

Post-a-day 2026

Basically, all I want to do this week is do physical activities for a bit outside, and then sew the rest of the day.

My daughter, of course, wants to do the inverse. Makes for a total catastrophe in the house after I sew for more than an hour (filled with interruptions, of course, equating only about twenty minutes of actual sewing progress).

But I really need to clean up the house. For the mental health of all of us.

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I’m not sure I can stay awake long enough to put my daughter to bed tonight…

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God came through in a beautiful and unanticipated way today. No, my husband didn’t get much work, but he did get it confirmed that he gets to stay in a hotel for the next two weeks, instead of in his car. He’ll still have to stay it in later and probably often, but this was s happy surprise. I’m so glad he gets a good, comfortable, cool, and clean place to sleep each night for now.

Thank you, God. Amen.

Post-a-day 2026

My husband gets to start sleeping in his car again for work. Hopefully, it will be a very brief period of time during which he has to do this… again.

God, keep us safe and whole and well. Help my husband to find ease, safety, and good sleep, especially while he is away for work. Help him to have a comfortable bed each night and easy, good sleep. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2026

That point at which you are so tired that a half hour passes in about five minutes… yeah, that’s where I am right now. Fortunately, my daughter passed out and I didn’t, so I’m not in my bed and ready to get some good sleep these next few hours. And hopefully even longer than usual.

God, guide us, please. Keep us safe and well and whole, and make us sleep well and solid hours tonight and each night, that we be refreshed and excited and ready for the next day and all its wonderful possibilities. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2026

It is Oktoberfest season now, and we attended our first this evening as a big family unit. And we looked super cute. Especially the two babies in their outfits that we put together, and which included handmade aprons and head scarves. Super duper cute.

My daughter tried to spend the entire evening in the bounce house, of course… haha.

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Just before we planned to go out my daughter into her bed, she stand right next to the chair where I am sitting and just starts letting them rip. When I mentioned changing her diaper, she ran to a corner, where she proceeded to continue ripping them in such an awful, watery way. The room smelled so bad, I nearly threw up, and also nearly peed myself coughing on the smell.

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Oftentimes, the best surprises and the little ones done with love.

Thank you, God. Please, keep us safe, and make us well and whole. And get rid of these ants and all the other bugs that we want not in our house, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2026