9:52pm

When I was little, it was a treasure and a delight for me to be able to stay up for 9:52 PM on my birthday each year… For me to be able to celebrate the exact time of my successful birth into this world.

Here I am, a few-ish decades later, wanting 9:52 PM to hurry up already, because I’m tired and want to go to bed, and I have been up since four this morning. πŸ˜‚

Gotta love it (and I do!)!

Haha

Happy Birthday to me!!

Yippee!!❀

πŸ€—πŸ™πŸͺ

Post-a-day 2020

Showering

******Beware of bodily functions in this one******

As I prepared to get into the shower tonight, I suddenly found myself remembering certain silly instances in my childhood in which I would find myself jumping out of the shower to use the bathroom.

I remember how I would skip like crazy on the toilet seat, because I was soaking wet and hadn’t dried myself at all in those two steps it took to get from shower to toilet – I just had to poop so badly and so suddenly that it couldn’t wait another few minutes for me to finish showering.

It didn’t happen all that often, but it was definitely a regular occurrence for me – I remember it all so clearly, the times of being wet and on the toilet seat… and then having to figure out how to manage toilet paper when, again, my body was all wet…. I couldn’t even get it off the roll, because my hands were dripping with water!

I eventually learned to hop back and forth from foot to foot while drying the backs of my thighs and my hands, and then would turn to the toilet ASAP, still not always dry, but dry enough.

There was a definite art and timing to it all… and I have no idea why I couldn’t just go before I got in the shower…, but it is what it is, I guess… it was what it was, at any rate. πŸ˜›

Haha

Children are silly, I swear… πŸ˜€

And yes, I am fully aware that I am referring to myself, too, on this occasion… derr… haha

Post-a-day 2020

Together so easily

Do you ever see yourself with someone so easily, you can’t seem to get it out of your head?

It goes on and on, for weeks and months, without your putting any effort into it – images and thoughts live a life of their own in which you and this person are living and loving life together…

And all these moments you are seeing, they aren’t big events or anything – no weddings or babies or anything like that… they are small, everyday interactions… a joke, a smile, a love slap of the leg, a tickle match, a wink, a look… a touch… all the normal, everyday things that show love so well…

You just feel like the two of you are like peanut butter and jelly, so easily and perfectly together in your sloppy deliciousness.

And it seems so easy, so real, it all just feels like a matter of time before it is real…

But then… it isn’t real, is it?

It is only in your mind.

But then, I just wonder, is it possibly in that person’s mind, too?

As I judge myself harshly, my answer is always a sturdy, “No,” but there’s always that little bit of doubt, formed from hope, that makes me smile at the possibility. πŸ™‚

Post-a-day 2020

Birthday letters

And now I shall unbutton myself from this rainbow unicorn onesie, stumble carefully down the stairs to use the bathroom, climb back up quickly, and snuggle myself into my currently-chilly-but-soon-warm bed to fall quickly and fast asleep.

My letters for tomorrow (today, technically) are complete, and so I may sleep.

Goodnight, Moon, whichever direction you may be right now.

P.S. T-2 days to my birthday… Friday awaits!

Post-a-day 2020

Some thoughts not wasted

One man’s trash is another man’s treasure, they always said.

This morning at breakfast, I was very bummed when I asked if my food could possibly be heated, since it was served cold (and just tasted terrible cold), and I was informed first that it could be, but then told that the plate was being re-made… so wasteful…

When it was re-served only slightly warm and significantly worse made, I didn’t dare say anything about it, and instead just wrapped it up to take home for one of us to eat later, after we could warm it ourselves.

Tonight, we had some king cake after dinner, and it was far too dry for me to be interested in eating it beyond a couple bites or so.

But no one wanted to take it home to finish, and none of us had anyone at home with whom to share it anyway.

So, I was curious when I crossed a kind-looking man on a street corner during my drive home.

I rolled down my window, called out, asking him if he wanted some cake, and was delighted to see his face light up, and to hear him answer with a genuine and surprised, emphatic, “Yes!”

I handed him the box of a more than 3/4 king cake, and wished him well as he thanked me.

It made me want to go back and spend some time with the man, and I even felt bad that I didn’t give him water to go with the cake.

(I mean, it isn’t painfully dry or anything – I just really only like king cake when it is super moist on the inside.)

I considered bringing him water, actually, but then saw the absurdity of it, and left it for now… I don’t exactly have the money to be driving back and forth, anyway.

I also found myself thinking about the safety level of going and spending time with him – I often want to do this with people, homeless people typically, but have learned not so nicely that there are often chemical imbalances that can provide an unsafe environment for me if I were to go spend time with the homeless people around town… not always, but often enough to make me reconsider most of the time…, which kind of bums me out… also, I’m afraid of being stuck with really bad smells, which then sends me into a whole ‘nother level of looking for what I could do to help, and then having to manage keeping myself safe…

Anyway, the whole thing reminded me of how one of the most valuable things we have to offer in life is our attention.

People always say “time”, but I think they really mean “attention”.

I can give you an hour my time, but never once pay attention to you, versus give you ten minutes of full attention, and I think the latter will win every time for being the most appreciated.

Sure, things like laying bricks would prefer the former, but when it comes to people-to-people interactions, it is or attention that we all most desire and most need… it is through our conscious attention that we share the most love with others, not just our showing up.

Like someone said after a dance thing the other weekend – he noticed that I kept to myself and didn’t really talk with many people, but that I took genuine interest, asked real questions, and waited for real answers whenever I talked with him… I spent a lot of time on the room, making little impact on anyone, but ten minutes of talking with him directly had a huge impact on him.

I’ve kind of gone off the initial idea here, but I guess that’s how ideas work, anyway, always linking us to different connections, one after another, always and forever…

Which makes me think of brain storming… what a storm it is… debris flying every which way, leaving it difficult to find the origins of certain things, they fly so fast at times, and cross so many turns and twists in the system of the brain, in the storm…

I guess the biggest difference between a brain’s storming and nature’s storming is that the former usually gives us solutions, and the latter often gives us problems… haha… that’s funny… I’m going to continue thinking on brain storming…

Post-a-day 2020

Bellyache

Ugh… I’m sitting here, all together to write out these letters, and I just can’t do it!

My belly hurts too much.

Well, it’s more of a discomfort than a hurt, but still it sucks(!).

I want to write these letters, I really, truly do…, and I can’t even focus on what I want to put into a single One of them, I’m just so uncomfortable sitting here.

Ugh(!)

(!!!)

I’ve got to ha dale this somehow, because tonight is the night to get here letters going…

Post-a-day 2020