Bedsheets

It’s really cold getting into bed right now. Not like we have a long and cold winter here in Houston, but, when we have warm or hot and humid most of the year, the cold really gets to us, whenever it is cold. So, my feet have been struggling with the whole bedtime routine. My hands have, too. I slide into bed to go to sleep, and end up shivering a while, fighting the desire to curl up in a ball (because it would leave me super sore in the morning to sleep that way) due to the cold.

I was just thinking about whether I would want to spend the money on another set of those amazing flannel sheets I’d gotten for Japan (but while on a quick visit home to the US for a wedding), when it occurred to me that, despite the fact that they are for a Queen (possibly full) mattress, they are just sitting st my mom’s house, being not used ever, and there could be some way to have them fit my twin bed here and be used.

I’ll have to look up dimensions, of course, but the thought occurred to me first to turn the fitted sheet perpendicular, and see if the width of a Queen fit the length of my twin, and then just loop the sheet all the way under the bed, and hook it to the same two corners from underneath as the first two corners were fitted… it should be long enough for that, but would it be too long? Then, I wondered about whether the width would be over double my mattress, at which point, I could wrap the fitted sheet around both sides of my mattress (much the same way as the first idea, but not turned perpendicular to the bed first), and hook both fitted top corners to the same corner of my bed from both above and below the mattress. I would have then to tuck in the bottom of the sheet under the mattress, which may or may not stay and which may or may not affect the comfort of the bed.

I shall look this up and see if I can save money and heat and energy by using those sheets that I picked out and that are just sitting at my mom’s house in a box.

P.S. Wow. I looked it up. The queen sheet is not even half as much more width as a twin size. That means that two twin beds pushed together is actually wider than any other bed, including the California King by about five inches. And it is only four inches shorter than a queen mattress (still nine inches shorter than a California King). That means it almost has as much surface area as a California King, despite its being nine inches shorter in length. So, basically, if a twin is not big enough for someone to sleep in terms of width, that person is likely to have trouble ever sharing any bed with another person… man…

Post-a-day 2020

Advent

Today marked the beginning of my Advent and Advent calendar for this year, complete with presents and my mom falling face forward up the stairs to my room. Trust me, despite the fright in the moment of that final piece happening, it was all extremely delightful and quite festively fun (even the fall, while my mom was lying there, laughing on top of the pile of presents she had been carrying).

You see, firstly, I didn’t know my mom was coming over, and my phone signal was still off. So, when I heard a knock behind me, I genuinely thought it was a raccoon or possum doing some construction work in the attic (or the likes). But then, my bedroom door was opening – by the way, the door to my room is down a flight of halfback stairs, because my room is a converted attic – and I started to freak. out…..

“Hello?” I asked in both annoyance and trepidation. It was my mom. And yes, I had locked the door, as I always do – my fear was that I hadn’t locked it, and I was now about to be attacked. I heard her voice, relaxed, reminded her that I was tutoring, and I went back up the stairs. Just as I was finishing telling the student to log off and back on again to see about resetting her computer’s connection and sound, I looked back down the stairs to see my mother falling forward as she turned the corner to head up the second half of the stairs. She has similar stairs in her house, but there is no step on the turn at the midpoint. Hers are just half and half. Mine are four, then one on the half turn, then another ten in the last part. The light in my stairwell is minimal in the first place, and the baskets of presents she was carrying certainly didn’t give her much help in seeing that single turn step. But they did help her land more safely, fortunately. I rushed down carefully and, basically, lifted her up off the ground on my own, as she had almost no leverage to get herself back up, her arms still wrapped around the presents now beneath her chest.

Even as I lifted her up, we were both laughing. She had determined already that all was well and whole within her body still, and so we could not hold back. It was ridiculous and hilarious to the both of us.

Anyway, the whole unexpected arrival of my mother was due to a request I made of her weeks ago. Would she print out my Advent calendar for me to use this year? I had made one for my cousin years ago, and loved it. I wanted to use it again this year, but I didn’t want to risk seeing the days ahead of time by printing it all out for myself. I had wanted them to be a surprise as much as possible, but I wanted to be able to write down my responses, instead of just look at it on my phone, as I did last year. (Each day has a question/prompt of sorts to which I am requested to respond, you see.) So, here we are on the first day of December, which lines up with how I had created the calendar initially, as a 25-day Advent calendar. My mom has gone above and beyond, as is regularly her style when it comes to fun, creativity-related things – the exact reason I had asked her to do this for me in the first place – and come up with presents for each day, wrapped in Charlie Brown Christmas wrapping paper – the Advent calendar I made is based on A Charlie Brown Christmas – to go with each day’s paper prompt.

Today, I got a box of tea, from which I can have a cup every morning when I open the day’s card and present – again, the original calendars we made are referenced, as they were tea Advent calendars, with a different tea for each day – as well as a Christmas lights necklace and green and red jingle bell bracelets to give me extra festivity this month. Then, my mom proceeded to open up the box of tea and make us each some tea. She actually hung out with me in my room while we snuggled up to our cups in the cold morning air, and just hung out together. Oddly enough, those were two of the things on my list for the first day’s prompt, checked off unexpectedly just about as quickly as I had gotten them written down.

Then she went off to work, and I snuggled in my bed another few hours before going to work myself.

All-in-all, it was a beautiful start to my Advent and my Advent calendar for this year. I am extremely grateful, and feel a strong sense of love and care for me today (for which I also feel extremely grateful). Yesterday was an odd sort of reminder for Advent’s ideas for me, just perfectly timed. And I have a feeling that there is much value to be found for me in and through Advent this year. I look forward to it all with cautious and grateful optimism.

Grazie, World and God. Here we are. 🙂

Post-a-day 2020

Facial deception

I guess my brain just automatically assumes that everyone else is really pretty and handsome. More often than not, when I see someone, whom I previously have only seen wearing a mask, remove his or her mask, I am mentally extremely surprised at the face I see. The features are not bad, necessarily – they are just not what I expected. And I have noticed that what I have been expecting is almost always something that would be classified as quite good-looking (if not model-like, even).

Kind of funny, huh?

Makes me glad that I wear a mask that has a photo of my face on it. Sure, my lips don’t move when I talk, and it’s a bit off on sizing, and the coloring is slightly jaundiced, but it is my face, and people get to see that. And they won’t let me forget how much they are grateful for the opportunity to see someone’s actual face. And I am grateful.

Post-a-day 2020

Family movie night

Tonight, we watched “The Replacements”. It was delightful. Aside from the egg scene – well, both of them, really – I loved watching the film. I actually cried with laughter more than once. It was just that fun of a film. I had definitely seen scenes from it as a child, and probably in this same house, but I have now consciously watched it, and I am grateful for this opportunity. I very much enjoyed it.

Post-a-day 2020

Stuff… and stuff

I am thinking that, so long as I aim to fulfill any specific desire with anything other than exactly what I want, I will end up with much more than I want filling the space around me – both energetically and physically – and I will be forever unsatisfied in that desire.

That’s part of why trying to fit the bill for a part just never works out for the best. It might feel good for a while, but it eventually catches up with me, and I feel somewhat miserable until I sort things out back to being fully true to myself and who I am and who I want to be.

Yeah… thoughts for bed tonight… 😉

Post-a-day 2020

Bellyaching for sleep

Do you ever reach the point of being so tired that you feel like you might throw up? The body begins to collapse inward on itself, the stomach cavity begins to do a black hole kind of jig, and the esophagus begins to make itself known, deep down within the chest, as though in warning of the impending doom of a volcanic eruption brewing below the surface… this happens to me sometimes, when I am really, really in need of sleep. Not just an average long day here – an absurd kind of day, like a sleep of only a few hours, followed by a 20-hour day kind of day… like today… like right now.

The only remedy I have is to snuggle up under blankets and sleep as long as possible… which, really, makes perfect sense. You know, since my body is so exhausted in the first place, and the vomit feeling likely originates with that. 😛

Post-a-day 2020

Childhood Christmas

I ordered several items of clothing for work last week. For whatever reason, they were all being shipped separately to my mom’s house. I was excited about them all, but bummed at all the packaging (mostly since they were coming from the same company), but figured it was due to the items being at different origins, and so was inevitable (not simply irresponsible).

Nonetheless, I found it funny that so many packages would be arriving to my mom’s house in sun quick succession. “It’ll be like Christmas!” I declared, laughing at the idea that I wouldn’t know what was what in all the packages, but that each one would be a delightful surprise (since I had selected each one intentionally for myself, but had ordered so many things that I could pretend to forget about what most of them were), as well as the fact that I would get to open them all at my mom’s house.

I shared this thought with my mom, and added that it’ll be just like Christmas when I was a kid, because I will open all my presents and start playing with them right then and there and have a merry time. She laughed and whatever-ed me, allowing my request to come over and ‘open presents’ the next week one day.

When I arrived today to ‘open my Christmas presents’ (from myself), my mom actually fussed at me for starting while she was still upstairs getting dressed. “I didn’t know you actually cared,” I said somewhat questioning.

“Yeah, I was gonna put on Christmas music while you opened everything.”

I was thrilled(!). She then put on a James Taylor Christmas album, I turned on the “fireplace”, and I showed her what I had already opened (just two things), before I preceded to open all the rest with us both in the living room together. And yes, I “played with my toys” (meaning I tried things on) there in the living room with her, and it was an extremely lovely time. I was super excited about my “presents”, and I loved sharing the experience and time with my mom. It really felt like a childhood Christmas for me. 🙂

Our Holiday Fireplace 😉

Post-a-day 2020

Brain waves: zero

Do you ever find yourself sitting down to do something, possibly late in the day or close to when planning to go to bed, and having no idea what on Earth you are supposed to be doing sitting there? Not because you don’t understand the process of the task, but because your brain has checked out and either is napping or has gone to bed for the night… without even fully forming the mental question of, ‘Why am I here?’, you have the sense of the question, the uncertainty and slight sense of being lost that go with it… and, rather than having various thoughts about why you might be here, your mind brainstorming the millions of possibilities as to why you have just set yourself here, your thoughts are just kind of off. The gasoline has run out, the power switch has been flipped – whatever the case, you find yourself sitting in front of something, with no idea as to why you are there, no thoughts to brainstorm your way through it, and no real understanding of what to do about the lack of knowing.

Well, whether you experience it or not, I most certainly do.

Post-a-day 2020

Mother-daughter

“I really want that dental tool… and I need underwear.”

What was that?, you wonder. It was something I said tonight on our way home, which was the catalyst for a several-minute cry-fest for my mom and me.

We could not speak. Only the occasional partial word exited our mouths, and none of it comprehensible, even to each of our own ears. Our eyes were pouring water. Our cheeks ached. Our bellies convulsed in silent, intense laughter.

Eventually, we both began to gasp for air, and slowly traded our silent laughter for loud coughing, tears still pouring down our faces.

So, why did this all happen, then?

My mom and I joke regularly about how our brains work on this family. We change topics very easily, but we always return to any topic we have set aside, no matter the reason for doing so. So, it is completely normal that we throw out a complete non-sequitur…. and also normal that the conversation continue with ease and without hesitation or judgement. Oftentimes, the original conversation will continue by one person, while the other person shares a few comments on a non-sequitur before returning back to the original conversation (the one that was continued by the other person).

Example: We are talking about cheese, say.

‘I think Brie would be better, because it’ll work with the crackers.’

‘I’m really glad they banned smoking in bars and restaurants in France.’

‘But a good smoked Gouda is always amazing.’

‘It just would have been miserable for me, if everyone had been smoking all the time.’

‘And a nice Swiss, too.’

‘Like in Japan… ugh. You always just go explore the cheese section at the grocer, and find fancy cheeses all at once there, so just have some in mind, but don’t bother settling on what cheeses ahead of time.’

‘Yeah, you’re right. I always do like doing that.’

See how two conversations kind of just happened at once? Well, we do that.

And we are fine with it.

However, we have, in recent years, begun to notice how it might appear to an outsider, whenever we have any sort of odd or atypical conversation. Therefore, such conversations usually end up with us laughing at some point in the middle of them, as we both realize one another realizing the outside-view-crazy conversation we are having.

Tonight, when, out of nowhere, I mentioned my desire for a dental tool, that was already a bit odd. That I continued with the, “I need underwear,” statement, that sent my mother out of it completely. I, naturally, could not contain myself with her laughing so hard. As I began to laugh, I asked for clarity on why specifically she was laughing, whether at the randomness of the conversation then itself or st the specific combination of those two comments. It was the latter, because she was immediately imagining how the two might go together somehow, like ‘I need bread and milk from the store’. But it was a dental tool and underwear, as though one had to do with the other.

I explained that I had gone to the store recently, but I had forgotten to look for the tool, and they had been out of the underwear I had wanted, so those were the only two items on my list that hadn’t gotten purchased.

That didn’t make it any better, though. 😛

We laughed so hard, it was ridiculous. And it was spectacular.

I love these ridiculous times with my mom, and I am extremely grateful for them.

Post-a-day 2020

Home is where we are at ease

I guess one of the measures of knowing we feel truly at home somewhere is when we feel any sense of annoyance at having to stay the night away from that somewhere. My mom and I have to go out of town for the day tomorrow, and we are leaving around seven AM, so she convinced me to come stay at her house to get. It felt absurd to drive separately, and I didn’t want to deal with her constant complaints at ha but to drive an extra fifteen minutes to pick me up and drop me off on the way. (So, instead, I drove half an hour out here, to ride with her tomorrow an extra fifteen to twenty minutes each way, and then to drive myself the half hour home afterward… right?! And I’m the one who lives in the “inconvenient” place in town… closer to everything…)

Anyway, so I’m at my mom’s house… and I really just wish I were at home, in my own space and my own bed with my own decorations and systems and energy. I had a time this summer where I was very uncomfortable being alone at my place. This is the first time since then that I have noticed a distinct feeling of annoyance and disdain for having to stay at my mom’s instead of my place. Her house was my safe refuge before. Now, my space is my safe space, my oasis of calm, where I feel I belong.

And that is a very beautiful thing to discover for myself. I am extremely grateful.

Post-a-day 2020