Taking Steps

A step count isn’t only good when it’s a really high number…

You see, I not only took 25,000 steps (FitBit on the ankle to track them) today, but – and these are likely a bigger deal than those 25,000 – I took two big steps for myself and my life.

And it is way late at night right now for me just to have gotten home, but it has been a good day… a very good day. 🙂

And I am grateful dafür.

Post-a-day 2018

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Release leads to giddy joy

I received some delightful news today, but I wasn’t jumping for joy at learning it.

However, I have, since learning about that, been giddily delighted about something else entirely…

I think that the news today gave my whole being such a sense of relief that I suddenly was able to enjoy fully the something else I’ve been pondering lately (but hadn’t really been able to enjoy yet).

Funny how that happens. 🙂

Post-a-day 2018

Work your nerd

I found out today that my brother had felt unease about his nerdy knowledge on various topics.  Quite frankly, I had always admired him for said nerdiness.  Whenever he was interested in a topic, he’d do what he could to learn as much as possible in a short period of time.  And then, if it was something that he really enjoyed, how continued to learn about it in the years that followed, becoming ever more the genius on the topic.  Possibly the best part of it to me was that these often were topics that had almost nothing to do with his work or schooling – it was purely things that interested him.  Nowadays, he is still the same about it all, though he definitely has certain topics on which he could be considered an expert after so many years and hours of study and work dedicated to them.

I guess, growing up, I just didn’t know his world of friends and classmates and, eventually, colleagues, because I was so much younger than he was.  I had no idea that they didn’t know about his nerdy areas in his life, too.  They apparently only knew about his cool, chic, sporty side (from what I understand now).  He, it seems, was afraid of being rejected for his knowledge and studies.  Now, though, he has begun to embrace his nerdiness, and publicly so (think social media, etc.), and he has been discovering how much respect exactly that aspect of him; especially since he is cool, chic, and sporty, but loves knowledge and nerding out over certain things.  He is discovering that he had no need to be insecure about his interests and knowledge.  Plus, despite the fact that the public has been responding really well to his nerd side’s being exposed, he already knew that it doesn’t really matter what other people think of him anyway – that’s their own business, not his.  What matters is what he thinks about himself.  If he is happy with who he is, then there is no reason not to express that in his life.  So, he started finally expressing himself, nerdiness included.  Now that he has been doing that, he has also found that people are grateful to him for sharing himself and his passions with the world.  Super duper win-win, I say.  And I am proud of him doubly, for keeping up the nerdy knowledge, and now for sharing it with the world.  🙂

Post-a-day 2018

Self-expression followed by rejection?

Have you ever truly put yourself out there, honestly and in the open, and then been rejected?  I have, and in many situations and circumstances.  However, as much as it hurts to receive that rejection – and, believe me, it really hurts, because that is the best of and the truest of me that is being rejected – it is always somewhat of a good thing.  A really good thing, actually, because, you see, if that situation, or those people, or whatever, rejects who I truly am, rejects the inner and outer me, then I find it best that I not be around them – that is clearly not the place for me.  And so, despite the pain, it is always relieving and good for me, because, as important as it is to find where I belong in this world, where I am nourished and where I nourish my surroundings in return, it is equally important not to be where I don’t have that.  So, the pain is a good thing, after all.

I guess I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently, though I hadn’t really noticed it until just now.  I’m preparing for something, something I plan to have happen soon, and I can see that I am afraid of it, because of how people might respond to it, how they might reject me (or, as is incredibly likely, and already common for me, anyway, so I’m not sure why I’m even worried about this part in the first place, misunderstand me).  But, just as I’ve shared here, I suppose it is actually a good thing.  I need not put it off for fear – if I will be rejected for that piece of my self-expression, even if it is someone misunderstanding that piece of my self-expression, then perhaps it is best for me to have that happen sooner, rather than later, so that I can create the space to be surrounded by the people and the world that are good for me and for whom I am good.  My waiting around for this serves no one, it seems, and my going ahead with it actually has potential benefits for many.  Huh… wow.

Post-a-day 2018

Is it heart or nonsense?

Ever feel like you’re secretly an amazing artist, and you just have to set up your life so that you start creating the art, and the world will follow suit by tossing gobs of money your way to encourage more art to be shared with the world?  I totally do.  And I felt a lot of the pull today towards doing that with my life.  It has been a spectacular end of and beginning of these two different years of my life today.  My brain is sleepy from so much back-and-forth thought patterns and emotions, but thrilled at prospects that feel ever nearer.  🙂  I have happy hopes and intentions for this year.

Post-a-day 2018

I am from…

Recently, in my cleaning out, I’ve come across loads of papers and files and folders and binders from almost all of my years of schooling.  While, I’ve found things from that same school year (lots of them today, actually), I have yet to find the original I am from poem that I wrote about myself in seventh grade.  When I find it, I will share it, followed by the one I wrote about myself during college, as well as the two(three?) that my friends wrote about me from their own perspectives during, I believe, high school together.

For now, though, I share the one I wrote during college about myself.  If you do not know, an I am from poem is essentially a work where one inputs pieces of information related to certain topics.  For example, the format could be as follows:

[First Name]
I am from [three traits you like about yourself]
[three traits you want to improve about yourself]
lover of [two things you love]
believer in [two things in which you believe]
who fears [two things you fear]
who hopes for [two things for which you hope]
brother/sister to [list your siblings]
daughter/son to [list your parents’ names]
resident of [the street where you grew up living]
[your city and state]
[your country]
[Last Name]

The original one I did was longer than that, but the point was just to explain the general format, so I’ll leave it at that.  The following, as mentioned already, is the version I wrote in college, which was following a rather free format that did not have distinct criteria other than being about ourselves (so far as I currently remember, anyway).

……………………………

4 Sept 2011 ED351

Hannah
I am from gentle, caring, lovable, wonderful
I am from sisterhood and subtle observations
from Music and Dance and Poetry
I am from contentedness with what one is given, blissfulness when around music, and the desire to do good
I am from hugs, laughs, and love, and recycling it all back
I am from giving harmony to life, consideration to call, and cheerfulness to one’s surroundings
I am from confidence: one so strong I fear only a loss of things or people whom I love and with whom I share my life
I am from Grace, in name and in action
I am from “How do you say ‘How do you say?'” in as many languages as possible
I am from connectedness and communication: be honest, be clear, be concise, lift up others with what you say, and mean it every time
I am from clarity: now inhale deeply and be with what is and what isn’t – identify the story and render it powerless in what happened
I am from when you’re on it, get off it; when you’re incomplete, get complete with yourself and with all those involved; and when you’re being inauthentic, be authentic about your being inauthentic
I am from live in the moment and remember what’s possible
AND
I am from the long time sun, may it always shine upon you
I am from love, may it always surround you
I am from Woman, the greatest power, and from the one pure light within us
I am from a world to be treated with care
I am from mother: Earth and the human
I am from understanding, consciousness, choices, and freedom of self-expression
I am from mother, all-encompassing, all-loving, and ever-present
I am from God, the World, and the stars
I am from Mother

…………………………..

Post-a-day 2018