When did the cute stop being cute?
When did the adorable
The laughter that once
Filled the days and the nights,
When did it turn
To rude quips,
To frustrated sighs?
Did the shivers of delight,
Utter excite (ment)
Turn to crying at night
And wanting just to walk
So I stop causing
The question isn’t, “When?”
It is, “Why?”
And the answer
Is that I deCIDED.
I cut off all chances
Those wonderful things
Had at surviving,
Let alone thriving…
While that is so sad,
So terrible to hear,
What’s wonderful about it
Is that I</> decided it all…
And so I</> can let it all go,
And choose sonething new.
I used to start getting ready for bed around 6pm. I would awaken around four or four-thirty in the morning, decently rested and awake, and I would gather my clothes and head downstairs to get ready for and to go to the gym for the 5:15am workout. And I’d do the same thing most weekdays, and only stay up a bit later on Friday and Saturday nights, maybe going to sleep around midnight or 11pm instead of around 8 or 8:30pm.
But I met a man, and I feel like I haven’t been “normal” ever since. I rush to get ready for bed late at night now, lucky if I can get to sleep before midnight. I don’t get to take time reading before bed. One-sentence minimum, then move on – got to hurry, so I can sleep as much as possible…
And I don’t like it. And I believe he doesn’t like it either. How do we figure this out?
Oh, God, please, grant us the clarity as to how to manage our schedules such that we both sleep well each night and awaken refreshed each morning, and we are fully able and prepared to be our best selves – who you made us to be – every day. In your name, I pray with gratitude. Amen.
We went to a wedding. I brought a Tupperware-type container for my leftovers, in case I wanted them. He told me, ‘We are not doing that,’ when I mentioned to him that I had a container in the car. I said, ‘Okay…’
They started packing up the buffet. I told him so. He ran to get a bit more food for himself, and asked if I wanted anything else. I said that I wanted a bit more green beans and mac ‘n‘ cheese.
He tells me there is no more mac. I say I just want some green beans, then.
He comes back a few minutes later with an actual to-go styrofoam meal container, half mountain-ed with green beans and half mountain-ed with chicken.
Uhmmm…. Okay… but we are doing this??? 😛
He said that they just kind of did it, when he had asked for more green beans – put it in the to-go container, I mean. And then they said, ‘Well, that’s now enough. You want some chicken?’ And they started adding chicken before he could do anything else about it. So, he was surprised by it all, too. Haha
And the piano progress continues! Tonight, he asked me to show him something new or else something to do differently with that four-chord progression (CGAmG). So, we talked about sheet music! He had played clarinet back in school, so he still somewhat remembered how to read treble clef, though he didn’t even know how I knew it was treble clef… 😛 Nonetheless, he may or may not have ever used bass clef, but he learned the notes in it on the piano tonight!
Note: He is not a fan of having to hit middle C with the left hand. Too far up, he says. Wait until he gets into music that actually has a load of ledger lines up in the middle! 😛
I pulled up easy “Ode to Joy” sheet music for him and showed him how to go through one clef at a time, and then how to start to put it all together slowly, but surely. And he played for an hour+ tonight, working on that piece and taking a mental test a bit to play around with the four chords for about five minute somewhere near the end. He’s doing an awesome job, and it really seems like he really likes it. I am so excited both for the now and for the future with this!
Thank you, God, for this wonderful blessing of a man and of music. In your name, I pray. Amen.
And so it happens that he plays piano now. I heard him playing around with some keys as I exited the shower tonight. I asked him why he stopped once he had, and he smiled in slight embarrassment, and said because he hadn’t known what he was doing. I got him back over to the piano, and I explained some basics, and then showed him the basic C-G-Am-G chord progression and how to play with key strokes and rhythms within it – all white keys!! – and set him loose. He was practically fighting me at first, suggesting that he would be terrible and his hands are too clumsy and blah, blah, blah… Now, he has been going for almost half an hour, and it could be music he’s reading for all I can hear. He’s doing an amazing job already, and I’m thoroughly enjoying listening to him play, not simply because he’s the one doing it, but because it is actually enjoyable music and playing. Thank you, God.
We certainly shall have a house filled with love and music. Thank you, God, for such a wonderful blessing. Amen.
Update: He played for over 45 minutes, and I think he only stopped, because he was just so darn sleepy from a very long week this week and day today.
“Blown away by your love 😘,” he writes, sending with it a photo of him next to the massive and awesome fan (which is turned on) that he bought last weekend and that I put together for him today as a bit of a surprise.
My mom and I both find it adorable and also hilarious and stupid, but mostly the first two.
My brother simply replies after a silent laugh and big smirk, “You guys are dumb.”
“She got a good roll in,” I said.
“Haha nice,” he replied, “I miss you too”.
And then he said, in reply to the first message, “She’s naked, why aren’t you?”
::face palm… idiot… such a guy…
And I love him.
Thank you, God, for such a man period, and especially for his presence and role in my life in particular. In gratitude, I pray. Amen.
I can usually (and do) say what others either can not or will not say, when a situation is in need of it, of directness and clarity. But I regularly cannot figure out what to say to soothe people, a situation for which so many people do seem to be able to say what needs to be said… I am gifted with words, but not with soothing words. That’s for certain…