The Universe gives us exactly what we need, exactly when we need it.
Today, I needed a reminder of the magic that abounds, and I was granted that reminder thoroughly and beautifully.
I was even declared an interpreter by someone who didn’t even know that languages are a prominent part of my life, nor that I know more than one language.
And, on my way home this evening, just to let myself free in having fun, I sang a free-flowing song in a language I don’t entirely understand (yet, anyway)…. and it, too, was magical.
Yes, today has been magical, magic-filled from the Universe.
It isn’t often that I hear an old man comment on clothing, – other than it being related to how impractical this or that might be – but the old men usually make it count whenever they do comment on an outfit.
Tonight, leaving the classroom, the professor asks me if my skirt is made out of coat-ties.
I tell him that it is and that my mom and I made it.
With big nods and a big grin, he tells me how he thought so, because, well, it’s one of the ones in the back part, yes that one there – he owns that tie… he has that same one!
I was totally tickled by it, and he was delighted at having recognized them as ties (because we removed the back seams and opened each of them up, making them double the width), and so we both just chuckled along the hallway on our ways out, delighting in the small world that involved my skirt. 😛
Sure, he’s attractive.
But, after all these years, why have we never dated, you want to know?
Because too many of his actions are consistent with ones that would belong to a description of someone defined by our culture as “a douche”.
Tonight, a very good dancer told me, ‘I love watching you dance… you’re just so… free…’
It was an extreme compliment, coming from a very good dancer, but it also had me wonder why she selected the words she did, specifically “free”.
I’ve never had anyone come up with a reasonable descriptor for describing my dancing, but, the more I think about it, the more her words seem to make sense to me.
I don’t necessarily feel free when I am dancing…
However, I do dance with abandon and I let all rules and judgements just fall away from me, because they have no place in dancing for me (at least, not anymore, though they did for a little while, back in the day).
I don’t even give most concerns a thought, let alone my attention.
So, while I don’t necessarily experience being “free” while dancing, I suppose it can be seen as being similar to the concept of there being a “free from”, a “free of”, and a “free to” in life… different types of freedom to experience.
And my dancing freedom is not so much a ‘free to do as I please’ freedom, as it is a ‘free from constraints’ freedom.
Anyway… thoughts tonight…
Sometimes I wonder why I consider myself ‘not worth it’ for myself…
There are many wonderful meals I could prepare at any time, and yet I almost always wait for company actually to make any of them…
There are loads of beautiful and exciting and wonderful spots to visit in my area, and yet I rarely pursue any of them without an accomplice…
Yes, it is wonderful to share things and experiences with others, the good- and the bad-feeling events…, but why do I never measure up as being worth going to do those wonderful things, to see those things that I want to see in the first place?
I declare confidently to the world that I am worth it, whatever the situation, and yet my actions show that something within me believes that I am only worth it when it comes to other people… never for myself.
I don’t have an answer or solution… and I’m not sure I need one, either… I just wonder about it sometimes…
People always talk about their type, like in dating.
I’ve never really had a definitive type of my own, though I’ve tried really hard to find it.
However, I’ve discovered a pattern as I’ve thought it through this past year and a half.
The more I travel and learn about other cultures, the more diverse my likes become, not just in things but in people and in partners, too.
The only commonality, it seems, is that they are all human and they all have great teeth… otherwise, the differences abound. 🙂
So, I guess a lot more of our taste in partners than I’d ever expected really does have to do with nurture, and not just nature.
A man commented today that I am beautiful, and that I have come more alive and clear in my eyes lately.
And he meant it.
And he wasn’t trying to get anything out of me.
He was just being honest about what he saw and experienced.
And he restated it a couple times.
And it felt really, really good.
Because I know he meant it and had no ulterior motive.