hannah.ananas

Likes

I have been casually noticing lately how many of my “excitements”, as I call them, did not originate within myself.

Example: I got excited in fifth grade about anything to do with this one particular boy. We run into his mom in the library, I go talk with her, because it ties back to him times ten. That’s the excitement piece. Now, what were its origins? Why did I even care so much about things to do with this boy? Because my friend K liked this boy. She was excited about him and anything to do with him. I had joined in to support her in her endeavor and excitement. I was excited for her. Because she was going to be excited about something new, I was excited in anticipation of her excitement, of her would-be excitement. It’s much like when throwing a surprise party for a friend or family member – we are excited for the joy the other person (hopefully) will have. I was excited by anything to do with this boy, because I knew K would be excited about it. I didn’t like the boy as she did, but it didn’t look that way to the outside world.

I love Hello Kitty (キッチちゃん). Why did I learn to love it? Because my mom and my sister loved it and always showed it to me. I then would get excited for them every time I crossed Kitty-chan.

Pink flamingoes – my mom and my cousin.

Watches and knives – my brother.

There seem to be innumerable things in my life that excite me, but not for me. To an outsider, it seems I love the thing itself. When, really, I just love and care about a person who loves the thing.

That being said, is there anything I like, all on my own?

Perhaps language and grammar and math/physics are a few of mine. And volleyball. Haha. And dance and teaching… these are all things that originated within myself – I do not love them for someone else, but for themselves.

But I certainly still have what feels like boatloads of all the other things… I am looking into that for myself.

Post-a-day 2021

^Still takes effort

Happy Birthday, she called it

I went ahead and finished another song for today yesterday. I started it back in early October, when some big changes were happening in my life. I wondered if it was about one of those in particular. But it wasn’t. Then I wondered if it was about New Year’s Eve. But it wasn’t. And then, I wondered if it wasn’t applicable at all. But I ruled that out I easily enough.

Finally, though, I considered my birthday, and I realized that so much of what I have been doing lately in my life has been leading up to my birthday, quite similarly to this song’s thoughts on a certain “tomorrow” and on life.

So, I did it for my birthday.

It wasn’t flawless; it had many errors, my performance; I went too fast at parts; I almost totally messed up words; the ocean water was loud and invisible; the fog was intense; construction was happening in the background, sound-wise; and I forgot to record the audio for an audio track on my phone. But I did it. And I was super excited to do it. And I loved and love it.

I wrote this to go with it:

“Happy Birthday”

Welcome to tomorrow! Another year aged, another trip around the sun, and I feel, possibly, better than ever. I wish you all the loveliest of years this year: that we may all have our fears, and be filled with courage and gratitude; that we may create and embrace loads and loads and loads of love. Happy Birthday to Me, and Happy (Early) Birthday to Texas! ✨💗🎨⚡️🌏💫📿🧘🏻‍♀️❤🤗🙏🐪

🍙

🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑

🦖 🦖🏋🏼‍♀️💪

I certainly had fear in making and in sharing the recording/video of my playing and singing this song. And I did it nonetheless. And I am extremely grateful. May we all have fears and be filled with courage, especially this year and especially in new ways and places.

P.S. March 2, 1836, was Texas’ Independence Day (from Mexico), so Texas kind of has a birthday right after I have mine!

Post-a-day 2021

February 28

Today has been my birthday. It was lovely.

We spent it at the beach, amidst the sand and water and birds and fish and boatloads and boatloads of fog. We made sand mandalas and a labyrinth (and walked it), threw a boomerang-y frisbee, – no, it wasn’t designed to work that way, but it did today! – walked a ton on the beach, ate a lovely Paleo brunch and lovely Paleo cupcakes, opened pen presents, drank yummy teas, played some French Monopoly and some Bop-It Extreme, made sand candles, and had a generally lovely, joyful time just being together. I also played with my jump rope (still haven’t found the right length) and practiced double-unders for a bit, and talked on the phone to a few select people.

And I am extremely grateful for my life, and I am especially grateful for what I have been able to do in it lately. It had been a lot these past few years, and even these past several months – stress after stress after stress – and yet I have made it through all of them, better than ever I was before them.

Gratitude, World, Universe, God.

Happy love unto all of us, as we travel this next journey around the sun.

Post-a-day 2021

^Man! Almost missed it!

Birthdays

What is the difference between one’s birthday and the other 365 days of the year?

I think it is the fact that we intentionally celebrate it. Otherwise, it would be just like all the other days in a year.

I, therefore, recommended celebrating oneself intentionally, lovingly, and fully for one’s birthday each year. Take the time to express gratitude for this life, and to celebrate all that one has done within and with it.

Happy birthday eve to me… 😉

Post-a-day 2021

^Minimal thought

Watch me whip…

and watch me cry, cry. Today, as my brother put it, I was, “Both taking lashings and jump roping; aka [doing] dubs!” I took the time and had the energy to go pull out my outdoor yoga mat, and to set up my brand new, personalized jump rope (no kidding, it was expensive). I have gotten it almost to the right length, but I’m not sure it’s there yet. Nonetheless, I learned the valuable lesson that wearing sweatpants while jumping makes a hugely positive difference in not getting painfully whipped all over my legs. However, having long hair and being shirtless compensated for the saved whips – my hair actually hit the rope a few times, causing it to whip into my back and the back of my arm. Plus, I somehow got my hands and the tops of my forearms a lot. My shoes were surprisingly minimal today, though. (But definitely not fully safe – they totally got whipped a few times, and super painfully so.) Afterward, I was marked up as though I had a slightly crazy cat living with me, including one bruise I just now found on my lower ankle.

All in all, it was a really good time. adjusting and using my new jump rope. I actually got to a point where they are starting to click rather easily. I just have to work on the energy and momentum part of it all now, because I tire rather easily from them still. But they are loads easier with a rope that not only fits me but that is also awesomely designed for doing double-unders.

Thank you, RPM, for your lovely craft and product. I love my new speed rope!

Post-a-day 2021

^Easy

Light…

Painting. We did some tonight! AND we used lightsabers. Because why would we not?

I am beyond excited to check out the photos tomorrow, after I’ve gotten some sleep. I pray it be intensely restful sleep for me tonight.

Post-a-day 2021

^Had to think about it, but got it easily when I did

Beach fog

My mom and I went for a walk on the beach this afternoon/evening, as a way of closing out the daytime for today. Although bidding farewell-until-the-morrow to a sun that hasn’t been technically visible all day is a bit odd, it didn’t stop us.

The fog, however, almost did.

I had measured distances to various things yesterday, and we found today that a certain spot that was .19 miles away, straight up the beach, was not visible. That set the visibility at about .18 miles this evening.

It was almost spooky, but that it didn’t feel spooky; it just looked it.

See how the world just seems to end? The typically seemingly infinite beach is short; it is blocked by fog.

An unexpected result of this walk on the beach, however, came after about twenty minutes of walking.

I turned to my mom, and, seeing her hair soaked, asked her what on Earth she had done – it looked like she’d been splashed by a wave. Seeing as how she’d been seeking and picking up seashells, it wouldn’t have surprised me if she had been splashed by a wave while picking up something. However, she replied that she hadn’t done that, hadn’t had that happen. So, what was the deal, then? Why was her hair soaked?

That’s how thick and dense this fog was – it was clinging to her hair, soaking it. I asked if mine was the same, and she said it was.

We took a picture to document the absurdity of our walk on a not-rainy day at the beach. By the time we were walking home, we were wiping soaking wet eyebrows and eyelashes, too.

Post-a-day 2021

^Whoo! Just barely!

Today

Well, I survived it all. I would say just barely, but that I was rather thriving throughout most of it… I guess I’m just super tired now, and so feel like collapsing totally into a comfy, cozy bed. I only had just over four and a half hours in bed last night. However, today was awesome on many, many levels.

And I am extremely grateful.

I felt very much myself in situations where I had only just recently begun being self-expressed, instead of slightly expressed while mostly sidelining. I had a blast doing it. And it felt… just right.

And I got my progress photos from yesterday, the six-week mark of the food challenge with the gym. It only lasted officially for three weeks, but I had determined to go through my birthday fully, and with no meal passes (we were allowed one per week). My birthday is at the end of this week, at which point I am free to use the passes as I see fit. Until then, however, I am still intent on reaching my fitness goals for my birthday. We don’t get new decades every day, now, and we don’t often improve significantly our physical fitness between them as we go upward in count…, but I have this time, and it has been amazing.

Also, less than three minutes walking from our driveway here:

Happy Birthday Week, Banana. 😉

Post-a-day 2021

^Had to think a touch there

Late-night nerves

I truly do not understand how I have gotten myself yet again into a situation where I have what feels like a bajillion things to do before 11 AM, noon as the stretch. Major face palm here. It is close to midnight, and my alarm is sounding at 4:20… What am I doing? I’m about to age another year forward. One might think I had my life better sorted than this.

Oh, well… so it goes. I guess, at the very least, it is good to see that I am still so optimistic about my ability to accomplish things in a limited period of time.

Post-a-day 2021

^!!!

“Barnard Thompson”

21:01 on 2/21/21, a baby was born. This was also Santa Anna’s birthday. That shall make it quite easy for me to remember in the future. 🙂

Odd how seventh grade Texas History is proving so valuable in such a unique place in my life. 😛

P.S. That’s just what I’ve been calling the baby. I have no idea what its given name actually will be. In my mind, he shall always be Barnard Thompson, because that’s what he’s been for so long. 😂

Post-a-day 2021