Baby talk

At 35, you’re considered geriatric.(!)

I’m not gonna be geriatric.

I stopped by to visit a friend at her extra job today, so I could pick up her key to go play with her cat and dog.

We started with talk about Christmas presents and CrossFit, and ended up on careers and finances, houses and babies, all within about three minutes of chatting.

We joked about how her husband (currently boyfriend) who is finishing medical school right now, will be super poor for the next several years, and so she wants to work and save as much as possible now, so she can buy a house and have babies at the latest by 30.

Thus the glorious comment at the start of this… gotta love the oddities that drive us all forward in life. ;P

Post-a-day 2018

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Barbie therapy

Sometimes, a Barbie musical is just the way to go.

When I lived and studied in Wien (Vienna, Austria), I hit a point of lonesome depression as the Fall weather of constant overcast skies and regular rain took its place over the city.

When talking one night with my best friend, she and her then-boyfriend, now-husband, declares that my tasks for the rest of the evening were to go for a walk outside (bundled up, of course), and then to watch a Barbie musical movie.

That way, I got outside air and some physical movement in, plus I got a really good, feel-good story and music.

Turns out, their prescription was perfect, and it still is useful to this day – whenever I’m feeling lonesome and/or down, a walk and a Barbie musical movie fill me with fresh air and cozy comfort.

And even tonight, when I wasn’t particularly down, but just wanted some love, watching Barbie’s “Princess and the Pauper” gave me those loving snuggles I was craving.

Plus, it always feels good to have the bad guy in a story end up on bottom and the good guys to end up on top – Barbie movies are always sure of having that happen!

Also, the bloopers at the end are tops – an even better ending than the wonderful happy ending the film already has. ๐Ÿ˜›

Post-a-day 2018

Facing the struggles

When we notice something that is extremely difficult for us, but is normal for others, is it something worth addressing face-on?

What if it turns out to be something that is better left undone, like rudeness to waiters or cursing, and we already do not do it?… is it still worth facing and evaluating?

I understand easily the value of reevaluating something negative we do, but does it work the other way around, too?

In the dreaded words of Dagny Taggart, it seems to me that only benefit can come of the evaluation – either we are reinforced in our good behavior and ways of thinking, or we are reconstructing our behavior as we deal with our poor ways of behaving and thinking.

It is a win-win situation… or something much like that, anyway.

Perhaps my first step of this will be to stay home alone and be productive (not just sleep all day), and voluntarily so… I could use some evaluation in that department…

Post-a-day 2018

Money, money

I figured out what to do with that money.

I talked with my brother today, after thinking about different things, and we both agreed that it was a beautiful and practically perfect in every way use of the money… and I’m terrified in a good way about it all, which shows how good of an idea it is.

So, yay! for that.

Also, did I mention that I’ve been wondering what I might do in my life, if I had someone to fund me in whatever I chose?

I’ve been thinking on that these past couple or few days, because I had this sudden realization that I actually quite likely could find someone to fund something I really wanted to do, and quite likely could make it into a monetary gain for myself with whatever it is, anyway, so it is well worth considering what I would do, if I had the someone to fund me…

It’s been tough to start out, because I’ve grown quite accustomed to cutting myself off on those absurd dreams that require money I really don’t have right now…, but I’m growing into the thinking style, and am liking it more and more – I’m excited to see what I come up with. ๐Ÿ™‚

And, of course, terrified, because I know myself, and I know that even a simple idea in this case has a high chance of turning into actual actions. ๐Ÿ˜›

Kind of like the whole “Be careful what you wish for,” thing in a positive way, because I so totally might make it happen, and new adventures can be really scary – in a good way, but scary nonetheless.

Post-a-day 2018

Christmas presents

I kind of gave up on Christmas presents over the past handful or so of years.

You see, Christmas is about the story of Jesus the Christ, not about giving a present to everyone we’re ‘supposed’ to like and be related to… and I feel wrong pulling a holiday so far away from its foundation.

Plus, this whole consumerism thing has really gone a bit out of whack in recent years, and it might just make me sick, if I were to think about how much waste is caused, first) in terms of physical items, and then, second) in terms of mental effort.

We work so hard to give gifts to people, and we usually fail at bringing them the joy we were hoping to share with them – we want them to feel our love, but why must our love be so shallow and know them so poorly that we gift them ‘crap’ they never really liked and now feel obligated to use?

So, my goal has been to find ways to share my love with the world instead… I’m not so sure I’ve done a great job of achieving that goal, but I’ve been working on it.

Plus, for gift-giving, I do that normally in life – when there is a gift I want to give to someone, I do my best to make that happen, whenever it arises… I don’t wait ten more months for the excuse of Christmas.

Someone once told me that I must be an awesome friend, because I gave him a book and out of nowhere, shortly after we’d really met – just because our conversation had led me to believe he would really love reading the book.

I kind of shrugged it off at the time, I think, but I’ve come to see how valuable that is nowadays, where people do often give because they feel obligated to give, and not because there is something they truly want to share with the individual.

Anyway, the whole reason I brought all of this up, is because I was given a check this evening, as a Christmas present.

I had already said that I didn’t need it – separately to both parties involved – and that I didn’t expect anything to be given to me – and I’ve said the latter for years, more or less – … and yet the check was given me in double the amount from years past.

It made me want to cry with frustration as I examined the check (and I did actually tear up from that a bit)… I didn’t know what to do about it.

After a quick but genuine text chat with my brother, I mentally accepted the money, finally able to see that this was their way of showing that they cared about me.

Plus, it gives me an opportunity to do something great with the money that they likely never would have done with it – it doesn’t have to become just plain groceries for me alone… it is, instead, an opportunity for good.

I was hesitant to reject the money, because I didn’t want to leave them feeling rejected by me, nor did it make any sense whatsoever to pass up money being given rather freely to me at the present point in my life (remember the grad school and total uncertainty situation).

And yet, I felt utterly pathetic for having been given money in the first place – like sad charity, is how it felt for me.

But it worked out, thanks to my brother’s wonderful alternative approach:

Hannah, you should accept the gifts people give you. They want you to have them

Be grateful you have people in your life that have those resources

Use the money for something good, be empowered by it. Donโ€™t pity yourself, instead, make its value exponential

Also, consider how much more good you can do with that money vs what theyโ€™d do with it. A transfer of wealth is much more than a gift

And I can see that now the way he saw it.

The funny part about it is that I had said that I felt similarly about a gift he, my brother, had just given me, too.

I had known that my view was not so good nor healthy, and I was glad to have a new way to see it all, as well as something beautiful to go do with these gifts given to me.

Post-a-day 2018

Fashionably late

Tonight, after all of our own family activities and general gay atmosphere hanging out, my mom and I headed to my high school boyfriend’s family’s Christmas dessert gathering/social.

I sent him a message when we actually were getting close to leaving, but received to reply, and so I called him when we actually were leaving my brothers’ dad’s house.

The party was slowing down, but we could for sure come hang with him, if everyone else was gone, he said… and so I had him verify with his mom that it was still okay for us to come over (because we live over half an hour away), and she said to come on!

And so we went… and his dad’s dad was practically walking out the door as we arrived, the final guest at the gathering.

And yet, the whole family was there to greet us happily with hugs and cheer, and then hung out with us for what turned out to be about two and a half hours of good and real chat time.

We finally walked out the door, and we were shocked to find it was just shy of one in the morning(!).

But it had truly felt like we’d received a sort of VIP treatment for the party – when other guests are present, conversations are cut short/off regularly, and often only last a minute or three at most, and often less time with the host of a party… and yet we spent two and a half hours with direct conversation with the hosts of the party.

How often does that happen during a party?

Quite rarely for me, really… it’s always only if I arrive really early or stay to the end that I get the one-on-one time with the party host.

And yet we had full attention the entire time we were there – it was certainly like special treatment for this party!

I definitely feel like this puts a whole new level/dimension to being “fashionably late” to events. ๐Ÿ˜›

Post-a-day 2018

Will they get along?(!!!)

Imagine bringing your partner home to meet your family over Christmas.

… for the first time after everyone knows that you even have a partner.

Now, imagine getting extremely sick, fever and emergency room visit and all, and being buggered up in bed the entire time after the first day and a half.

Let’s hope your partner likes your family and vice versa, because they’re spending all the time together, and without you.

How terrifying that could be, but also how true a test of the match.

So far, we really like him, so it’s all good on our end… he even survived and participated well in game night fun with us all… super bonus for us.

We’ll just have to see if he ever comes back… ;P

Post-a-day 2018