A drink in New York

We went to the school black box musical tonight. It was cute. But it also showed how people tend to ‘deal’ with problems with alcohol. That sort of thing seems to make me even more upset than before. Well, okay, it doesn’t send me up in a fuss or anything like that. But it does make something less appealing to me when that is part of it. Alcohol only heals issues with bacteria. everything else is like turning to look the other way, and pretending the problem is solved. And I despise that so much of society finds it acceptable and not st all sad that people turn to alcohol for stress-relief and courage and all these other things that don’t include harming the body in their idea. But that’s what alcohol does, harm the body. And lives. We all would do much better to remember that.

P.S. Happy October, y’all!!

Post-a-day 2022

Tuesday

You know, I think I might end up really liking this golf thing. Not sure I’ll love playing golf, but I think I might always enjoy going to the driving range and just hitting golf balls. We had a parent night at school tonight, so we had to be at school for roughly 5:30-8:15pm. Therefore, since I didn’t work out today anyway, and couldn’t unless I’d done the morning, due to timing, I went to the driving range for an hour and hit balls.

And I had a great time.

When I got there, I asked a nice older man about the number of balls for each size of the buckets – we had to pick between M, L, and XL, I believe, but with no numbers or estimates listed for each size. He asked me how many I wanted. I said that I wasn’t sure, but that I only could stay an hour, and I only just had my first lesson the other day, so maybe around 50 would be plenty. As I was saying this, he scanned a fob and selected the XL button, telling me that XL would fill the buckets all the way. He asked with whom I had had my lesson. I told him. He said the guy was a great guy. Typical older man talk style, if you know what I mean. It was cute.

As the balls slowly filled his little bucket basket, he grabbed another bucket and swapped it with the one that had already started filling. “Well, you can just share with me. You can have some of these,” he said.

I asked for confirmation, he gave it, and I thanked him. ‘Well,’ he said, ‘I’m a volunteer. Don’t worry about it.’ I thanked him some more, and we both went our separate ways, he back to a cart and I over to the driving range.

I went to the upper level, and poured out the balls. He’s given me 63 balls! Pretty good guesstimate for that 50 I’d mentioned! Anyway, I had a blast hitting them. I tend to be quite consistent, but I don’t know how to fix certain things yet. And that’s okay. I need to stay low with this all, so I don’t overwhelm myself. Baby steps and only casual ones at that. Low intensity progress here, please.

Roughly the first 40 balls went great. Nine out of ten were decent hits, and three to four of those nine were good, straight or almost-straight-forward hits that went far. After about 40 balls, however, I noticed I was tired. My hands started to hurt. I started having decent balls only about half the time, with maybe only one or no straight and far hits per ten swings. So, today I confirmed that I am consistent in any given day and that I can only comfortably handle about 40 swings/balls right now. Good information.

I also videoed myself and saw that I was hunching my shoulders. Once I fixed that, the hits were much better.

Anyway… yeah… golf…(!!!) And I even get to look the part in all these cute tennis-type skirts I now have. Next step is to be able to perform well every time in those adorable outfits – to look the part and to play it.

Thank you, God and my man, for this blessing. And thank you, God, for golf and for my man. In your name I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

P.S. When this is posted, it will be my man’s birthday! Happy, Happy Birthday, Love. May God fill you with gratitude, confidence, and love this year. Amen.

Weeping Wednesday?

I cried at least three times at work today, because of work. Talk about being overwhelmed, and you’re talking about me today. But I managed to let it out as it came up, and then get down to business again and again throughout the day. I spoke a couple times with the teacher for whom I am teaching the first quarter – she’s on maternity leave – and what she had to share with me helped immensely with my stress. I now know somewhat decently what specifically is expected of me regarding content and presentation for class, and I have my next steps clearly in place for tomorrow (and the future classes as a whole). There is much for me to learn regarding the subject matter – Sacred Scripture and Catholicism – and I want to learn it all. But it will take time. And I have a clear plan as to how to do that now. Phew.

I want to do a good job here, as with everything I do. That’s why I’m stressed – because I care so much. But I definitely sat under the desk and cried hard at one point near midday today. So, today was a lot in a lot of ways. I wonder if tomorrow will be quite so emotional…

Dear God, grant me the grace and perseverance to do the amazing job I know you have called me to do here. Help me to fulfill your will fully and wholeheartedly. And help me to see clearly where you want me and need me to go. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Improvement

Well, we really got some stuff started at school today. I have a computer and can log in to it, and now can log in to all the online things I need to access and use. Still some links on details with some of those, but getting into them in the first place was a big step forward today! I also was given access to a boatload of (organized) files to show me what to do for classes and all – super duper helpful. And I have keys for school and the classroom I’ll be using. Woohoo! (No joke, an HR person seemed very much against the idea of my having keys for anything… you’ll trust me to teach and spend loads of time with the kids, but not to have a key to the classroom or building? Odd to me, anyway! But it worked out in the end! I have zee keys!) Also, I had a good time with the silly human Scrabble ice breaker this morning, which was a positive surprise for me. I felt much more wanted and accepted today as a whole, as several people reached out to check in on me and to support with what hadn’t been appropriately prepared for me.

Went and looked all around – even in trash bins! – for my scrunchie from yesterday, but didn’t find it. Still hopeful, because God can make anything happen! He gave me my keys very easily simply by my going to look for the scrunchie! Trusting that all is perfect and in God’s will here. 😉

Loads to read and learn before class starts later next week. Sticking to not taking work home with me, which I suspect might be a bit difficult this time, now that I have this amazing man and all, whom I want to see and with whom I want to be almost always…but I pray for the needed support from God for this.

Lord, help me to do all that I need, so that I might be an amazing teacher to these students this semester. Help me to learn and study what I need in order to step forward powerfully and confidently into this school year, embodying all that you will in me. In your name, I pray. Amen. And thank you. Amen. Amen. Amen!

Post-a-day 2022

Time for school

Or, well, work, I suppose. Whatever the case, tomorrow is the first day back at school for me for the school year. Yippee! And also a touch of boo-hoo. In-service can be great and can be terrible, for one thing. And summertime can be addicting with the full-on daytime free time and all.

But I think I am ready for it this year. Nervous? Yes. Scared? Yes. A touch terrified? Indeed. But ready? Also a yes.

Dear God, please guide me clearly and powerfully. In your name, I pray. Let’s do this. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Gratitude, Dude

I was a bit nervous leading up to today, as I was going to be subbing with the boys again. It had been a while since I’d been with this school, and I’d gotten accustomed to working with the girls lately. I was slightly afeared.

However, by the end of taking role in my first class of the day, I was clear just how perfect it was that I was there today. I love these boys. Within the first few minutes of class, without even trying, they had made me feel so unequivocally at home, I was feeling a sense of total ease, belonging, and love. Yes, they are dopes. And I absolutely love them for it. Don’t get me wrong here: Girls are great. But there is just something about how I’m made that just has the boys feel so much more right for me. Even as a kid, I was more comfortable playing with and being friends with the boys than with the girls. Perhaps it was due in part to my siblings closest in age being boys. I always felt more distant from my sisters, what with there being a nine-year and 11-year age gap between us. Compare that to the three boys that were only seven, six, and four years older than I was, and it makes a bit more sense that I ended up a total tomboy throughout my childhood. I also just prefer the honesty and directness of males, as well as their willingness to be goofy. That makes a big difference for me, too, and played a big role in my seeking out male friendships over the years and to this day.

Anyway, thank you, God, for this blessing that has been today. It was glorious. May I continue to be part of the beautiful formation You are offering these boys here. In Your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Dreams coming true yet?

My mom mentioned to me today something that she read just this past week about reaching for our dreams. The question she gave me was “If you woke up tomorrow, and your dream were fulfilled, what would be the first thing you would notice that told you that your dream had been fulfilled?“
I thought about this question. It somewhat baffled me, because I could not easily come up with an answer. Why is that? Well, if my current dream were fulfilled when I woke up tomorrow morning, I still would start my day the exact same way I do right now. I would get up early and go to the gym. I would exercise with delight and rigor. And then I would head to school. Only at this point would I have the noticeable sign, as the bag I had packed for school would be a bit different and where I showered would be different (at school versus at the gym).
While the exercise was interesting simply for the idea of what one thing would give it away, should my big dream come true, what was more fascinating and valuable to me was that my day would begin the exact same way. Put differently, I am already, in part, living my dream.
And that is quite cool.
Sure, I don’t have the specific work and finances and all the follow-up details and activities that come with those, but the person I am being, the habits I am pursuing… those are already exactly part of my dream life being fulfilled.
So, how do we level up now to the next step in fulfilling this dream? That is the question.
Post-a-day 2022
(Just a touch of hesitation now…)

Sunday nights

Why do I almost always struggle to get to bed at a decent hour on Sunday nights? I fiddle around all day Sunday, exhausted, and then end up taking forever on something just before bed, getting me off to a dreadful start to the school week. Add to it my buttock and ankle pains on the right side, as well as a full day of classes, including an observation, and we have ourselves a recipe for an extremely tiring and uncomfortable Monday.

Ugh.

God, help me rest well, please.

Post-a-day 2021

Reaping the spoils

There was a dance tonight. I chaperoned for it. I had a wonderful time. I got to be social yet not, dance around yet not, be chill, walk around, mingle, walk away from people, people watch, and enjoy the world around me.

And my students often were excited to see and greet me, which was wonderful, too.

It was lovely.

And then, at the end, I got to take home some flowers. That was baller, too. Oh, and a couple t-shirts for the school. Boom. Great night.

Of course, it is not well past 1:00am, and I’m only just about to get to fall asleep…, but, I believe, it was worth it.

Thank you, God and Universe for this opportunity and blessing.

Gratitude here

Post-a-day 2021