Mass is such an emotional experience for me these days. When I am truly present, I end up in massive and intense tears… I wonder if it always will be this way, now that I am not so afraid to be myself as I am when I’m Church, in love and in need…
Thank you, God, for such passion and love as I have an feel from you when I am in Mass these days… may it continue beautifully. Amen.
(Had to think about it still, but I got it right twice now!)
When you are down
And feeling blue
And like a miserable, out-of-shape lame-o who never will be loved or wanted romantically (even though you’re actually rather amazing and quite fit),
Who helps you up
And reminds you that temporary depressive and obsesssive insanity is only temporary?
That’s what friends are fooorrr!
But seriously, they really do make a massive difference. Let’s keep them around, shall we? ;P
I went to two soccer games tonight for school. I convinced two other teachers to go with me, with ease (surprisingly), and they brought another faculty member along, too. We were the faculty section at the game, and we were front and center. It was funny, but it was also extremely cold. We’re talking 8° Celsius with a feels like of 5 or 6°… it was miserably cold.
And yet, it was an absolutely wonderful experience. I loved watching the kids play, and though my toes hurt big time by the end, despite being wrapped in a sweater most of the games, it was all quite fulfilling for me, and I am extremely grateful. I have missed soccer.
At the end of the games, one particular student clasped hands with me in greeting. He hadn’t played due to an injury, and he was explaining this to me as he greeted me, clasping my hand. It was only a short few moments, but it was a small eternity of gratitude and love coming from him. Supporting these kids to be their best selves is one of the greatest things one can do to honor God’s love and creativity in this life, and I am extremely grateful that I have been granted the honor of doing just that. Thank you, God and Universe. Help me to share your love powerfully and effectively with the world through who and how I am this weekend. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Alas, tomorrow, I will be back to judging young individuals on their fitness to be part of a very specific group. We shall see how things go this time ’round. Hopefully, it will go beautifully and smoothly, and we will find some outstanding folks to be part of it all and to bring some wonderful things to the table.
Helping make the world a better place over here, on an individual and global scale! Woohoo! Thank you, God and Universe, for this all. May we continue on such paths with my being your love in the world. In your name, I pray. Amen.
P.S. I can hardly contain my excitement about this soccer game Friday. I even have a tam shirt now to wear, and I am delighted! Ahh! ❤
I dreamt of what seemed to be being married and pregnant last night… I wasn’t openly sharing about it, but I felt pregnant in the dream, though I hadn’t shared it with any colleagues. And, what’s interesting, is that my colleagues were actually for the job I really want to have in real life. So, in an odd way, several hopes and dreams were realized in this odd dream – it was something of a first communion-type event for a Spanish-speaking community, though I only knew for sure one person at the event. But I was thinking about how I might want to do the event for my own child, completely in Spanish, too, but without warning people ahead of time. 😛 Because, clearly I am still myself in dreams(!). Haha
Anyway… there’s that. Also, I helped a few students with some research on their French project today, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. AND I ended up speaking in French with a friend before the workout this morning at the gym. That was both fun and fulfilling… surprisingly so, at that. I hadn’t realized how much of my current self was present in French. It was a cool discovery to make this morning. Guess I need to work on speaking French more often in my daily life. 😀
Man, I Really miss dancing. I miss the experience of simultaneously expressing myself to music while working with another, and of feeling undeniably beautiful and sexy, womanly… Dancing is awesome, and I miss it! And, especially now that I am so wonderfully fit – and that I am no longer afraid to be a woman, to be powerful, to be desirable and sexy, to be noticed and seen – I want to find my new self-expression in dance.
Man… (The idea of this all came up tonight, because one of, I dare say, the world’s top partner dancers is a sort of buddy of mine, and he reached out this weekend to check in with me. We only just talked tonight, and only for a bit, but it was a fun blast from the dance world, though neither of us has been part of it since the first shutdown in early 2020. I would love to dance with him… As it happens, dancing with him always had me feeling my sexiest, he so beautifully honors his partner whenever dancing. Even when I felt un-womanly and not beautiful in general, I felt womanly and beautiful and desirable and wanted whenever dancing with him. [And no, not in a creeper or weird way. Just to be clear here…] I wonder how it would be now, dancing with him, now that I already do feel beautiful and woman and sexy and desirable as a whole…)
I didn’t eat well and properly today, nor did I drink enough water, nor did I put together and take my supplements. (The supplements have been since Tuesday, which is quite a bad idea for me. So, I must put them together tomorrow and start taking them consistently again.) My head has been hurting a while now, and I feel kind of dreadful from it all. I napped midday for a few hours, though it was somewhat stressful sleep, in and out. Now, I am going to bed later than I had wanted, but this was, somehow, what I needed for today. God, please bless my sleep and my body that I awake rested and well tomorrow, ready and able to take on the day you have granted to me, that I might be your love in the world as I step forward into it all and embody your love and creativity through all that is this expression of me in this life. In your name, I pray. Amen.
I went to the gym for the early Saturday workout today at 7:30. Then I went to meet my mom and a friend to help remove and dispose of the Christmas wreaths that had decorated all the graves at the Houston National Cemetery for US Veterans. It was really neat, and there were loads of people there to help. (I even got to see the spots for an old family friend and my current housemate’s/host’s grandfather.)
Then I had food and goofed around with the baby for a while before finally showering and taking a needed nap before tonight. Then I went to our rodeo committee’s social, collected some tasty barbecue that I’ll eat tomorrow, danced with a friend to live Kevin Fowler music, and then rushed into downtown to attend another live concert – but this one was unknown to me until this morning: Elton John.
There is so much I could say about this man, this master of his art, but I will keep it short here: I grew up with this man already being a legend to me. He was unreachable status, and I never even considered one day attending a concert of his – it just wasn’t going to happen, so my brain didn’t even give itself the time to be sad about it. And then, at the gym this morning, someone invites me to go with her, and she states clearly that she won’t have me pay her for my ticket. She just didn’t want to go alone, and her friend had bailed on the concert. I was absolutely delighted to step in for the drop-out this time(!!!). The concert was fabulous. This man is about to turn 75 (on 25 March). This was his 20th concert in Houston, Texas, the first having been in 1971. He can’t sing really high anymore. He hobbles slightly with his walk. He wore two sparkly suits – one all white with a Long tail and a red snake on the back, and one like his famous red checkered blazer (super sparkly, though) – and then a pink lounge-y kimono with a sparkly butterfly on the back, which he eventually took off to reveal a sparkly red and blue track suit. He changed his glasses twice, but all three pairs had rose-colored lenses. He wore his iconic right pointy earring. He plays piano like on the record albums. His spirit is evident in everything he plays and in every arm thrust and body shake he does. And, get this, he gets up from the piano after every song, (sometimes walks around bowing and encouraging folks to cheer and make noise a bit) shuffles to a little table/stand behind him, spits in a bucket, takes a sip of water, and then shuffles back to the piano and sits back down.
I am extremely grateful for this lovely opportunity, in addition to the beautiful blessing that has been the works and passion and gracious giving and sharing of Elton John’s art. Thank you, Good Sir, for all you do and have done. And thank you, God and Universe, for letting me be part of this glory tonight. May we be blessed with such love often in our lives, and may Sir Elton John truly feel the loving gratitude so much of the world has for him. Amen.
P.S. He said that “Your Song” was his first hit in 1972. Is that right, or did I mis-hear him? Perhaps it released in 1970… But, also, that was 50 years ago. FIFTY YEARS, and his music and performances are still amazing. Thank you, Sir!
H: Still want to do something now, or feel like something tomorrow morning? I finish at the gym around 8:45
B: I mean I’m okay with either. I’m just sitting around at home right now with nothing to do
H: Want to go help remove wreaths from military graves tomorrow morning?
H: Houston National Cemetary
B: Also let me just say of all possible suggestions of things to do
B: I would’ve never, in any ordinate amount of time, guessed that
B: You didn’t see it but the double take I did when I read that was cartoonish
Yes, that was a real text interaction I had. Isn’t it lovely? Just glorious. 😛
Thank you, Gos and Universe, for such loving absurdity in my life. Amen.
(Kind of remembered)