I don’t even do CrossFit, but I watched the end of the 2018 CrossFit Games today, because my brother was super excited about it, and he attended it all weekend in Madison, Wisconsin. Not even four minutes into it, I was balling. And, from that point onward, I continued having bouts of extreme tears all over the place until the very end of the Games. It’s just that kind of thing. I’ve done and been part of plenty of sports to be able to relate to so many of the feelings and situations and emotions, that I felt as though I could feel their struggles and successes. Add the comments about how the whole goal of doing CrossFit is to be better as a person than one was yesterday, and it’s just a total tear fest.
I’m still not sure that I want to do CrossFit myself, but it was really neat to watch the nonsense that was the final round of the 2018 CrossFit Games.
Sometimes, life is just exhausting, – especially when doing it well – and we need to relax.
I just don’t understand how I have to be sick still. It has been almost 14 days that I have been ill with whatever this is. Sure, I’m loads and loads better than I was at the beginning, or even for the first week. But it still sucks. What lesson does the universe want me to learn from this?
I was reminded today of how I used to have a chunk of charcoal in my water bottle. I haven’t thought much about that at all recently, (however, I might start doing it again) but apparently the lacrosse team I used to help coach thinks of it often.
First off, the charcoal in the water bottle is something I learned from Japan, though, via my brother before I moved there (and then it was emphasized while I lived there). It has to do with cleaning up the water, essentially, from what I recall. (Note: It is not drinking charcoal mixed with water. It is a stick of this specific charcoal that sits in the water bottle, so that its pores can absorb unwanted stuff from the water.)
Anyway, so I had this stick of charcoal in my water bottle. I carry my water bottle pretty much everywhere with me in life, so lacrosse practice was included back when I was coaching (and teaching). Apparently, one of the girls has held on to the fact that I had ‘some kind of rocks’ in my water bottle, though I have doubts as to whether she recalls what the ‘rocks’ actually were (the stick had broken in half, so there were actually two pieces in the bottle, instead of one, but they didn’t really look like rocks). In memory of my water bottle, in a sense, that particular girl regularly drops rocks into other people’s water bottles, telling them that it is healthy, and reminding them of how I did it.
Yes, my wonderful lifestyle rubs off in the best of ways. 😛 I guess it gives us a new meaning for ‘on the rocks’, now.
Today, I have been in an area that feels like the end of my whits in terms of toleration of things. Even the little things, the ones that usually are very oh, well, whatever to me, evoked strong reactions from me today. To be fair, I did have a good amount of nonsense and frustration today with school. And I am quite tired. I struggled driving home tonight, and it was hardly after 8:30. By 9:00, I was sort of an angry emotional wreck, desperately prepping and eating some food, in a state of distress. Now, showered and sitting on my bed, I have tears edging their way out of me, though I haven’t felt any in waiting all day. (Except for during the really good bits of the opera, of course, but that’s totally different from the rest of the day’s events and emotions.)
I am angry, to at least frustrated, and I’m not sure why… and I worry that it is for health reasons that I am so stressed. Part of me wants to be right, but I think more of me wants to be wrong… and I worry that I am right, anyway.
I’m hardly making sense, I think, so I’ll just go to sleep, possibly sobbing a bit to relieve whatever this is coming up right now. I had a similarly-strong-emotion day this past weekend, and I wonder if they are related to the same underlying concern to which I have considered attributing today’s emotional state.
Anyway… goodnight, please.
Today, I am not well… bad not well. I’ve poured forth the sparse contents of my stomach three terrible times, complete with crying and a near-inability to hold myself up during it. Someone offered to call an ambulance for me, even. God, heal me, please.
As though to remind me that I do, in fact, want to leave, Japan gave me lots of smoking tonight. It was by no means ‘a lot’ of smoking. However, compared to no smoking, it a was really a lot. My eyes burned a little, everything with me smelled horrible afterward, and my throat, hours later, still hurts a lot.
As I mentioned the silly situation of how the “non-smoking” was set up in the restaurant, – one table in the center, with all surrounding tables being the smoking section – I noticed how I have never seen a single advertisement of any kind that commented on the dangers of smoking. The closest thing I’ve seen has been the posters reminding kids that people under 20 can’t smoke or drink. Otherwise, though, no one seems to want to spread the word about how smoking is more than just a nasty habit, but an incredibly dangerous one. I guess that’s what happens when the government has a big hand in the tobacco business.
Total bummer. Otherwise, I could have had a chance at actually enjoying Japan more than occasionally.