Oh, dear…

I overhear a girl complaining… I look up.

It is to her friends that she complains… it seems she went to the cafeteria to get food for all of them.

She is complaining that she is hot and tired… a girl commented at her in the cafeteria, “That looks like a lot of food…”

“Yeah…,” she responded, slightly ironically, but in agreement.

It seems she did not say it was for multiple people… for three people…, and she felt extreme embarrassment at being considered someone who would be eating it all herself…

“Can you imagine what it must be like… standing there with all this food?.. like…”

I reevaluate what she holds in her hand, as she fans her face with the free hand.

She holds three small paper trays, each with two medium-sized egg rolls and a sweet and sour sauce container in it – any pair of the egg rolls could fit in the palm of my hand at once, with no concern of being dropped.

I probably could hold all six in one hand, if I curled my fingers upward only slightly.

It is not a lot of food.

It is three servings of an appetizer.

And it is to be lunch for three high school girls.

I guess the sauce has loads of calories, but how can they possibly survive on such a meal?

I am hungry just watching them, and I already had lunch.

The worst part for me, though, is how they are embarrassed at the amount of food – all three were embarrassed for the one who bought it all and was seen carrying them solo – and that they consider it to be “a lot” of food for one person.

It makes me gag just thinking about the eating disorder tendency…

::sigh

😦

And then, what’s worse, they didn’t even finish eating all of it…

Post-a-day 2020

Monotony on the brain

As I flossed my teeth tonight, the idea hit me at one of the monotonous, repetitive things in life that, in a certain sense, just don’t make sense.  I occasionally have this happen with eating – actually, it’s rather often in recent months.  It suddenly occurs to me that, even after eating to satisfaction, at most, it will be only a few hours before we have to eat again.  It is this never-ending chain of requirement called food.  If we didn’t have to do that, imagine the time and mental energy (and physical energy) we could put to other things.  How much energy goes into managing eating in a single day?  In life as a whole?  How wasteful that is with our time…  Plus, it all just comes right back out of us anyway, and we’re burning energy to digest it all.  There’s got to be a better way to handle this need that we have for energy and nutrition…

And, of course, I simultaneously wonder if I’m just bat-sh** crazy and need brain shock therapy to rearrange the nonsense connections in my brain (and then wonder, yet again, if I’m crazy even more, since I just suggested shock therapy).  Eventually, I find myself having a delightful meal, and cannot fully comprehend how I was genuinely considering a lifestyle without food – as if it were possible right now, anyway – only days or moments before the current meal.

I think the real link is how stressed I can get about figuring out what to eat.  Because it really is that: figuring out.  There is no easy, obvious answer to the average What’s for lunch? question.  And, especially with my current setup, where I have almost zero fridge and kitchen usage, the question is even more difficult to answer.  I can’t even plan ahead, really, because I can’t store almost any food of any kind, room temperature or cold.  And I can’t really cook much either, because of the limited use situation.  So, I hit this phase of meal distaste often these days.  This is not to say that I didn’t hit it often in the past, because I totally did.  But that was mostly because I would be exhausted by the time I got home at the end of the day (or late at night), and didn’t feel like cooking anything.  Not because I had no options.  I had loads of options there.  But anyway…

So, tonight, flossing hit me the same way.  Why bother flossing, when food will just be right back at the very next meal?  And if we’re flossing now, why do we not floss after everything we eat?  (And then I remember how I regularly floss throughout the day, whenever I become aware of anything stuck or sticking in my teeth.)  And it’s not like monkeys floss, and they get along just fine with their teeth.  (Yes, I know they don’t have the crap diets we have, but I wish we could be more like them in both of those senses – not having to floss and not having crap diets that require us to brush and floss constantly.)  And so went the thoughts for a few seconds, before I required myself to get off the topic.  I knew it could turn disastrous if I didn’t stop asap.  (I’ve had some extreme bouts of stress and depression combined, when it comes to the whole food conversation I mentioned briefly here.)

So, yeah… that’s that topic.

Post-a-day 2018

Food

So much of my food here is selected based mainly on it’s ability to satisfy hunger while leaving the wallet as heavy as possible.  The sandwich I had today, my dinner tonight – I hardly want to eat either one, ever.  And yet, I’ve had the same sandwich thing multiple times this past year.  Why?  Because it fills me without voiding my wallet.

I can hardly wait never to have to eat like this again.  At least, as part of my daily life, I mean.  It’s exhausting, figuring out what to eat, when I really don’t like – and even rather dislike – the foods around and available to me.  I’ve never eaten in so many restaurants, and had to take deep breaths and just ‘deal with it’ in my entire life before moving here as I have this past year.  I’m tired of it all.  Clearly Japanese food is just not my style.  I leave it to others to enjoy, therefore.

Bring on the green smoothies, salads, and everything not Japanese, Houston.  I’m ready.

Post-a-day 2017