Aging & Aching

Perhaps I am officially old…-er.

I sat on my bed for all my tutoring this morning, which was four hours. Sure, I got up here and there, went downstairs to use the bathroom or grab some food a few times, and even gave myself a pillow backrest for the last hour plus, so I didn’t have to make my back increase any further its steadily building discomfort.

All of that I did, and yet, here I am, late at night, struggling to walk up and down any stairs, or even walk at all, because my knee is hurting. Yes, it is the one from the fall – both last year and last month – but it does not quite seem in the right spot of that knee to be related to those falls. I believe, as this is not the first time this has happened, it is due to the fact that I sat with my legs crossed for so long this morning (“sitting Indian style” is the phrase we were taught as kids). Now, my upper part of my knee is aching.

I can hardly imagine this ever happening to a young kid. So, I think this officially classified me as not a kid anymore, all numbers and looks and energy levels aside. I’m kind of old now, aging into the post-prime days and years and decades…

Whatever the case, of course, let us just hope that I awaken tomorrow having practically forgotten this pain, because my knee is fully recovered and healed. πŸ˜‰

Fingers crossed!! πŸ™‚

Post-a-day 2020

Grammar, man

I shared about some grammar concerns today with someone new. It didn’t exactly go very well, so far as accepting and understanding go. I was left with an experience of having been not heard, not believed, not trusted, and considered bizarre in a negative way. I merely shared that there were errors in the copy of almost everything official that I had read by this company, and that I wanted to reach out to the right individual or individuals to begin creating the corrections for all of those errors. I even gave various general examples of the error types that I had found. After doing that, I was asked what kind of errors I had found. I repeated myself almost verbatim in answering the query.

And I know that I care about language and grammar loads more than any average human being is likely even capable of caring – I get that. But it doesn’t make it suddenly not suck when I experience someone not only distrusting and disbelieving me but also verbally responding with words that suggest that I am a negative anomaly in the world. Because it does suck when that happens, and that does happen.

And I get that this person likely was very tired and rather surprised by the concept I was presenting. That also does not make it suddenly not suck, how that person responded to me.

So, I just wanted to share that – that it really sucked in those moments of someone, whether knowingly or not, invalidating me and my concerns for the betterment of this company.

Yeah.

I guess this is an opportunity for me to look at how I might do the same to others, especially when I am tired or sleepy. πŸ™‚

Yeah. πŸ™‚

Post-a-day 2020

Goodnight with Green lights

This evening, I did my first workout in what feels like quite a while. This Friday will make five weeks since I had that dreadful fall while on a workout run, and found myself tumbling through the street, and then lying in un-breathing shock and pain in the middle of a neighborhood road, while everyone around was too afraid to help me, for fear of catching COVID-19 from me… which, as it happens, I did not have at the time.

I was a total mess in a way I hadn’t been since last year, when I had fallen off the Vespa, going about 30-35 miles per hour one night… I guess I lacked all the padding and protection for falls this time, so such a fall, though at a significantly lower speed, left quite similar effects as a road accident, but with a lot more blood.

I tried jogging on Sunday or Monday, on a long walk with my mom, and it was fine at first, in a sort of lazy, easy, short-stepped jog. But, as soon as I increased to a regular stride for genuine but still easy running, the quivering feeling in my shin shook me to a quick stop.

Not ready yet.

Today, Wednesday, though, I was feeling very comfortable in my leg’s ability to function on low-ish-impact, smooth, easy activities. And my whole being wanted to exercise. So, I tested out a workout that didn’t involve much knee work at all…, and it was spectacular. I even was able to do walking lunges gently. And it felt really good to use my muscles in such a way again… gosh, it was lovely. One might think they were made for such things, even… πŸ˜‰

Yeah, I’m going to bed tonight feeling both relieved and enlivened. Thank you for such a beautiful opportunity and result today, World. πŸ™‚ As Matthew McConaughey might put it, thank you, World, for these red lights turned green lights.

P.S. I started listening to his audiobook during the workout. It is delightful so far, as is he, the author and reader.

Post-a-day 2020

Nighttime thoughts

When I transitioned from being angry to just being myself again tonight – yes, something quite annoying happened today that left my mother angry and crushed and borderline crying, and it annoyed me greatly – I found myself considering the descriptive phrase of someone who “crosses her t’s and dots her i’s”. That means someone who puts everything in its proper place and pays attention to details. An organized and detail-oriented individual, that is.

I literally cross all of my t’s and dot all of my i’s. Does that mean that I am someone befitting that description?

I even sometimes cross some of my l’s, and also occasionally dot some of my e’s and u’s. What does that then say about me? πŸ˜‚

Fun thinking for me, anyway… πŸ˜‚

Post-a-day 2020

Belly, belly

That digestion still hasn’t worked itself out entirely. I lay in bed for close to an hour just now, my laptop on its side in front of me, as I watched the beginning of an interesting-so-far film about Versailles. Β I could not fathom doing anything other than lying on my side, carefully placing my belly in a position that didn’t hurt quite so much as all the rest of the possible positions. Β So, that is exactly what I did for a while. Β But, I am rather exhausted, possibly in part due to this belly and digestion stuff and also the struggled sleep I hadΒ last night because of it all already. Β So, I’ll ready myself the rest of the way for bed now, and get on into it for sleep. Β I can finish watching the movie another time.

Dear Lord and God and World, please, heal my stomach tonight, that I might be happy, healthy, holy when I awaken tomorrow morning, and proceed to share love in the world, especially by means of my knowledge and my creativity. Β Thank you, and amen. Β πŸ˜‰ ❀ ❀ ❀

Post-a-day 2020

Bellyache

Well, today was it. Or so my internal goals say, anyway. I am done eating gluten for now. I feel terrible every time I have it, especially when combined with the other stuff I would prefer not eating. I had already intended today to be the last day of it – you see, my weekly source of free food has finished, at last, and that food was always gluten-filled – but just based on how wretched I feel right now and have felt the past several hours this evening, I am so over it all. I’m actually quite prone to go ahead and clip out all the stuff again, and just go back to eating how I felt really quite good last year. It wasn’t as spectacular as raw vegan felt, but it was the closest I’ve ever gotten since then. Plus, I’m not to have meat or fish or eggs where I live, anyway, so there’s no reason not to do the whole raw vegan ingredient diet again (meaning raw vegan food, but it can be cooked as desired).

Yes, that would feel really good on my body, I think. Even if I just do it as a cleanse for a couple weeks to reboot myself and my systems, it likely would be awesome for me. Plus, it certainly would help me let go of this excess fat that has been hanging around lately. Super bonus there.

Many levels of awesome would be achieved, yes.

On that note, I bid you a good night. May your digestion and mine be easy tonight.

Post-a-day 2020

Next Step

Okay, training on my own (with mandatory videos) is complete! Now to do some in-person training and some solo study (because I want to do the latter, not because I have to do it).

I’m actually excited about the solo study that I get to start doing tomorrow. I really hope I start with it tomorrow. Things really do transform when we are interested, invested, and enrolled in them – I was rarely so excited about studying on my own for things in school… or even learning the information in the first place, at least for most of school… wow.

Crazy, huh?

Post-a-day 2020

Goodnight, goodnight

I am back home, and boy, does it feel good to be home.

Truly.

Thank you, God and World and Universe, for all of the love in my life, especially for the love in the form of my finding a home here, and especially tonight. Thank you all. πŸ™‚

Now, to conch out and wake up super early for my (possibly) last test proctoring for the semester… to be followed by work training… for four plus hours on the computer… times two. Ugh… haha

Anyway, goodnight!

Post-a-day 2020

Cleanliness

It’s amazing how a clean (or not clean) space makes a world of a difference. I am staying st my aunt and uncle’s house for a few days right now, and so have been somewhat stressed because of the lack of cleanliness left by the last person who stayed here while they were gone. I have been wanting to leave since the day I got here, in a way… I want to be in my own, clean home setting, not here where almost every surface has something icky on it, floors included, and chairs, too… something I have to clean just to be able to use the surface… Of course, the necessary cleaning supplies are in short supply right now, so I had to use them with extreme discretion and rationing, not allowing me to clean all surfaces and floors… ugh…

The last time I stayed here a month without hesitation, and I only left because I had to leave for something back in Houston. Very different experiences here.

I feel like a Sophie Kinsella main character right now, wishing that cleanliness were part of the law. πŸ˜›

Anyway… so, there’s that, and it has been bugging me and I am ready to go home tomorrow as soon as I can (after my tutoring, which will go possibly all the way to 2pm).

Ugh… irony can be really annoying sometimes. Haha πŸ˜›

Post-a-day 2020

β€œI Trust In You”

I was at an artist retreat this weekend with my mom, out in the forest North of Houston. I wasn’t in the sessions themselves (my mom was), but was still part of the activities for the families who accompanied the artists on this Catholic outdoor camping and hiking adventure. I listened to what was said, my conscious and sub-conscious absorbed the words and the themes that surrounded us all throughout this retreat, and, yesterday afternoon, I produced this song while sitting on a yoga mat in the grass after a rough and glorious hike. It wasn’t intentional to have such obvious connections – that’s the sub-conscious managing things here – but the irony of it all is that I wrote a song based unintentionally around the phrase β€œI trust in you”, while at The Divine Mercy Retreat Center. (If you don’t get the irony, look up The Divine Mercy painting images.)

Whatever your beliefs and followings, I hope you find love and joy in this song. πŸ˜‰ βœ¨πŸ’—πŸŽ¨βš‘οΈπŸ•‰πŸŒπŸ’«πŸ“ΏπŸ§˜πŸ»β€β™€οΈβ€πŸ€—πŸ™πŸͺ 🀸🌸🌻

πŸŒ‘πŸŒ’πŸŒ“πŸŒ”πŸŒ•πŸŒ–πŸŒ—πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘

πŸ’ͺπŸ‘ŠπŸ»πŸ‘

P.S. To hear the song, it seems you have to go to the Instagram post, since I can only attach photos in here.