Tag: stress

Cutting it close

Sometimes, things donā€™t feel like theyā€™re getting close. It doesnā€™t feel right now like I am getting closer and closer to completing my course. It not only feels like Iā€™ll be cutting it close to my self-given deadline. It feels more like cuttingā€¦ it almost hurts like actual cuts, not having more done already, not progressing fasterā€¦ failing so muchā€¦ it just hurtsā€¦

Post-a-day 2023

Semi-on-schedule

I slept in until noon today, actually sleeping for a change. Granted, we went to bed around two something, so I actually only got just over nine hours of sleep. However, it was real sleep this time, only interrupted briefly by a need to use the bathroom a couple times. I fell right back asleep after each, which is huge. I knew I was tired, but didnā€™t know if this sinus infection would let me sleep. I am grateful that it has lessened enough to let me sleep. I pray for good sleep tonight, too.

Thank you, God, for sleep last night. Please, grant me good and healing sleep tonight. Heal me, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Motherā€™s Day

Has anyone else ever struggled on Motherā€™s Day, due to the sudden overwhelming amount of everyone your own age and even significantly younger putting up photo after photo of how happy they are being momā€™s? For some reason, that hit me really hard today, and I was in actual tears over it all. It felt like a slap in the face, over and over againā€¦ like they and God were just dangling their joy in front of me, showing me what I still cannot have yet have wanted for so long. Though, I suppose it would not be God dangling something like that – that would be more akin to the work of the devil, would it not? ā€˜Go ahead, covet what they have,ā€™ he might say, ā€˜Hate them for it,ā€™ he would encourage, ā€˜Be angry with your God.ā€™

But I shall not. I shall do just the opposite.

Dear God, thank you for my current state. Thank you for not making me a mother or a wife sooner in this life. Thank you for giving me the man who is perfect for me and for whom I am perfect. Thank you for helping us to become perfect for each other before we met. Thank you for giving us the time and experience to let go of and get over so many things that do not serve us or you. Thank you for taking the time to work on us before we get to be together and get to be parents. Thank you for such care and concern and love. Thank you. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Travel

Well, we drove three+ hours each way today instead of flying half as much to go visit my grandmother for Motherā€™s Day weekend. The weather was just too spotty and unreliable, so we drove. The up side is that we got to bring the dog with us. The down side is that my man didnā€™t get the extra three hours of cross-country flight time he would have gotten if weā€™d flown. But it was also cheaper drivingā€¦

Nonetheless, plans changed, but it still worked out well. We got to stop at Costco for flowers and a hot dog and slice of pizza. Always a good thing on our list. And then we had a great lunch out with my mom and grandma (and the dog), a good time just the two of us with the dog waking around town a bit, and then a good time relaxing st my grandmaā€™s before we all headed back out to go home. All in all, it was a very good day, and I am grateful for it.

Thank you, God, for the family and the love and the safety of today. Please, keep us always safe, that we pursue and fulfill your will by being our best selves. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Sick at the opera

Well, Iā€™m much improved in terms of how I physically feel, but I still have some sickness my body is having to fight, something nasal. My head and body donā€™t ache, and I have an appetite and quite decent energy compared to yesterday. But my throat is still sore, true to an overnight nasal drip kind of sick.

But I was well enough to attend the opera tonight, and I even made it most of the way through the opera before my body decided it was going to start needing to cough at decreasing increments of time, just about immediately. Fortunately, my mom had just given me a throat spray that was sitting in my pocket, and I was able to help suppress most of the coughs with that during the remainder of the performance. So, we enjoyed the show and didnā€™t seem to cause any disturbance for ourselves or anyone around us either.

Now, the question is whether Iā€™ll be able to sleepā€¦ God, help me sleep tonight that I be healed tomorrow. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Are you kidding me? :/

I sometimes really dislike being sick. I already canā€™t stand how Iā€™ve been sloppy and lazy with tidying at home, and now I have to be sick in a way that I can barely get up out of bed or off the sofa just to go to the bathroom (which Iā€™ve had to do constantly, due to drinking water as I need). Add to it that Iā€™m feeling all emotional about all of the aforementioned, likely due to the impending beginning of menstruation.

Ughā€¦ sometimes, things just feel really sucky, and I really dislike that I have a desire at such times just to go to bed and avoid life and the world, and hope for better circumstances whenever next I wake.

But I kept that in mind today, and made myself watch movies all day and eat as much food as I could handleā€¦ I even worked on my coding course as much as my eyes and brain could stand it. I donā€™t want to go down that path of avoiding life. Been there. Done that. Donā€™t need to go back.

I worked hard today, and it felt like I just sucked at life, and ended up still sick.

Oh, God, heal me, please. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Good start

Today was a success! Yay! Sure, there were definitely some moments of awkwardness, and I also had to sit around and wait for an hour and a half, simply because certain people did not communicate a schedule change to others. However, it all worked out okay, and I even got to walk around the festival for a while with my mom. I also got to sit in a shaded VIP area for a while with my mom and just hang out and rest somewhat. Both opportunities were great and greatly appreciated.

Whatā€™s more, my man built almost the whole chicken coop today!! ** So, an extra yay!! Yay!!

Thank you, God, for a successful day for us all. Grant us peace and purpose always, and heal all of us, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

**I only just a few days ago re-learned – because I definitely knew this before – that it is a ā€œchicken coop,ā€ and not a ā€œchicken coupe.ā€ To be fair, I once read a joke, after having already heard my cousin tell it, that kind of made me mess up my spelling of the word.

Relevant joke that is meant to be said and not written: Why doesnā€™t a chicken coop have four doors? Because then it would be called a chicken sedan.

Though, the written joke had ā€œcoopā€ spelled already as ā€œcoupe,ā€ which really messed me up. Also, I never understood the joke, because it was also worded poorly, instead saying something like, ā€˜Why does a chicken coupe only have two doors? Because otherwise it would be called a chicken sedan.ā€™ I massively struggled with this version of the joke, because I only knew of chicken coops that had just one door. So, the premise alone didnā€™t make sense to me. Nonetheless, the idea of the joke is cute and comical. Imagining a ā€œchicken sedan,ā€ whatever that is, as well as a ā€œchicken coupe,ā€ is quite a fun game to play in the brain. Give it a go! Vroom-vroom!

Post-a-day 2023

Uh-oh

Is this slight pain in my tooth a cavity?

God, forbid it, please, and heal my mouth, please.

I take such good care of my teeth and my oral health. Even the dental workers are surprised with how good of a job I do.

It could just be exposed too far down the tooth, and so it is sensitive. I do floss somewhat oftenā€¦

Oh, God, please, let it just be that. Please. Heal us all. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023