Sometimes, it feels like either everything or nothing comes my way. For quite some time, I have had a lot of nothing seeking me out, but I always had this feeling about how, ‘In June, I will know.’ I don’t know where I got the idea and phrase – call it divine inspiration, if you will – but it just came to me one day as an answering thought to my wondering about what my next step in life and work will be. As though in a conversation, when one person responds to another’s question or concern, the thought appeared in my mind.
And so, I have put forth my efforts in what I have been doing, as well as stayed open-minded for what could be next for me. Now, here I am, so close to June, and it looks like I have a whole handful of solid possibilities for what might be next in my life. I hadn’t even realized how close to June it is, when I realized today how crazy it is, that I suddenly have what feels like a hundred opportunities knocking at my door.
Just as I had done earlier in the year, I will persist in pursuing these beautiful ideas and options that have come my way. In doing so, perhaps, in June I will know which one or ones are part of my next semester in life.
I am becoming the person I want to be in the future, by being the person I want to be now.
And it feels good.
(Though, my legs are totally sore, and some of my other muscles, too.) 😛
When we gather our courage, and just take that step or leap or jump, the world will hear our declarations, and it will respond in kind.
Nope, no idea. I really haven’t any idea. I mean, sure, I have loads of ideas all day long. But I open up the page – that dreadful, white, blank page – and it all just seems to melt away. It almost feels as though none of it ever existed in the first place. It isn’t that I have a block. It is that I have an empty slate. And being able to create anything for this nothing is not only amazing, but mind-blowing. I always look for direction, instruction, guidance…, and yet, does that direction, instruction, guidance, even if ever so slightly, take away from the me of it? Does that not remove the me from the creation, and put at least a part of the result under the specifications of another, when it could have been all generated from me? It could have been purely me, but I wanted outside direction. But I want me and I want the blank slate… sort of. I want the slate however it may be, but perhaps I would like to paint it first, and then begin to work (although the painting would be beginning already), because blank and solid and white is just not me. Yes, yes… perhaps I just need to paint, and then create further and further from that initial coat.
Sometimes, that leap of terror was all we really needed to move forward…, because it was really just a ravine in front of us…, since the world isn’t flat, and so doesn’t actually end at that cliff.
Today, I did work that was quite along the lines of what my old job was.
I thought I was over my old job, and that I didn’t want to do it again.
But I really enjoyed today.
And I mean really enjoyed it.
Occasionally, merely having an intention and sticking with it is enough in life.
Or, perhaps, that is always the case.