Month: July 2019

Cat stretches

My friend’s cat has been staying with an old flat mate of hers the past few weeks, because my friend’s brother was visiting, and he’s very allergic to cats.

Sunday, though, the brother went home, so the cat was brought home, back to my friend’s place.

The rest of the week, however, my friend is out of town, so I am staying at her place to watch over the cat and her dog.

Since being back at home, my friend said, the cat has been super lovey, getting on top of her to snuggle just about every time she sits down anywhere.

Tonight, as part of my regular stretching routine, I was stretching my legs….

Except that, different from every other night, tonight I have my friend’s cat rubbing all over my legs, my face, my arms and head… every chance he gets, he is either rubbing me or snuggling up and lying down on top of me.

When I was doing one particular stretch on my back, he shoved in between my arms and leg to get to my belly and lie down… on another, that was kind of a lunge-like stretch, he kept walking in circles around me, popping through my legs constantly and putting his head into my face….

Silly cat… stretching… 😛

P.S. Yes, I know this can be a totally iffy scenario of various doubles entendres (it’s French, so I pluralized it in French, because I felt like it), and I made an effort to steer as far away from that as possible, but it still sounded silly to me on the end, so I felt a need to mention that. 😂

Post-a-day 2019

Work, work, work

Today, I accomplished loads, and most of it being photography-related.

It feels so good, I could almost do a little jig in my hips and belly. 😛

After the noon workout today, I hung out at the gym and worked on my laptop, originally planning to stay for half and hour to an hour…

I accomplished the immediately needed photos and sent them off (just proofs, really), and then just moved onto the next thing on my reminders list: sending a photo to a photographer I know from the gym.

He encourages me in my photography lots, and told me this Friday to send him a photo on Monday of something I took over the weekend.

After doing that, I moved coolly to the next on my list of photo work, and ignored my reminder to pick up my new scooter cover from the Amazon locker, delaying it another hour.

I finally finished photos from the CrossFit gym’s warrior Navy Seal workout I photographed a while back, and I sent them on to my cousin, and she sent them to the gym owner, who was grateful for them and who asked me for my website or other info I wanted him to use, so he could give credit to me on them.

That was great.

Then, somewhere in the middle, I had a totally and horrendous breakdown, crying my stomach out over the announcement that our gym is moving locations… I ride my bicycle for multiple reasons, the top one being that I need to save money as much as possible, and so it doesn’t work for me to spend money on gas for going to the gym almost every day, nor on risking my car hitting it’s final mile (it’s old and has problems already)… the new gym is an extra 5.5 miles away, adding easily half an hour each direction and lots of bayou hills… not exactly a mile away anymore, and not exactly a mere hour and a half out of my day anymore… Not to mention that I often struggle getting home after the workouts, because my legs and body are so exhausted, and that’s barely over a mile I have to go right now…

But, just as I was finishing blowing my nose, and had stopped crying, the most gorgeous gym member showed up super early for a later class, talked to me a bit about it all, and was overall super sweet to me (yes, I cried all over again while talking with him, but it wasn’t nearly so terrible as the violent shaking version of just beforehand), and he helped me talk it through better and feel at least a little better about it all – I didn’t know what my solution would be, but I left the conversation confident that a perfect solution would arise by the time the gym is moved in a month.

Also, it was a total treat to see him, too, as it always is, but even more so since I hadn’t expected to see him at all today.

I later had a good talk with one of the coaches about it all, and I plotted on the map and mathed and planned and felt the insanity of it and let it happen, anyway, and trusted that this felt right for the moment, and I made a distance goal for my bicycle riding.

(He and I also talked briefly about how my friend kept sending me profiles of guys in the dating apps, and he commiserated with me for just a bit, and it totally made me feel better about it all.)

So, I now have a goal of riding a total of 1000 miles on my bicycle, using the 134 miles I currently had since starting at the gym in April, and continuing forward through the end of December.

I leave town December 8, but this gives me some buffer room to get in some bicycle riding elsewhere, for the days I don’t ride, but have a ride.

I still am not sure if this riding will happen as thought out this afternoon, and I trust that that is okay that I do not know yet – I am not meant to know yet.

When it is time, everything will be clear for me, and I will know exactly what is perfect for me to do… just like how I found this gym in the first place… God gave it to me, brought me to it, and I trust that he will uphold the relationship if it is what is best for us all.

I waited around for my friend to show up for her class this evening, and then headed out to pick up my scooter cover and then heat up my yummy dinner (grain-free homemade gumbo that I made the other night!), and then, of course, eat it.

Immediately afterward, I headed to someone’s home to do a little photo shoot for an event they’re planning.

I had a great time doing it, and I think the photos just might work for what they were wanting.

(If they do, that’s a super plus for me as a photographer!)

And then I came home and ate a mango and then an apple all sliced along the way, topped with salted sunflower seed butter (unsweetened) – and it was one of the best desserts!!

Super yumm…

And now, exhausted, I write this as a reflection upon the day, and I am filled with gratitude for such wonderful experiences and accomplishments today.

Thank you, God.

Now, I must pass out. 😛

Zzzxxx…

Post-a-day 2019

Discord in Dating (apps)

Tonight, I was told that a certain someone who is close to me and who, I think, is a handsome guy is “not attractive”.

We agreed on the facts that his personality is great and that he’s a great guy, but this girlfriend seemed to believe that he definitively is not attractive, not good-looking, not handsome…

And I heartily disagree.

Normally, I don’t mind disagreeing with people on this concept of attractiveness and all, but this one has really gotten to me.

When she first said it, I was actually a bit offended… I’d felt a shock like a slap to the face.

And I wasn’t sure if it was because I disagreed with her, or because it was about someone close and important to me…

Now, a while later, I am prone to think that it was mostly due to the fact that he is so important to me, and because I find him to be handsome, her comment seemed to be offensive, and also personal (to a degree).

It just reminded me that thoughts on handsomeness, attractiveness, even beauty are not necessarily universal or able to be defined, definitive… there is too much bias in every party involved…

And so, somehow, I feel better out of this…

A girlfriend of mine has signed me up on these dating apps (despite the fact that I actually dislike and distrust them), and nothing much has come of it, except for her constantly telling me that I need to be more open to more guys, so that I can find a guy to go on a date with me…

My feelings and thoughts on it, however, are merely stronger than they were before we started this app business: I will not settle for anything less than perfect for me…

It drives her nuts, but no, I will not go out with a guy to whom I am not attracted, despite how cute he may be; I will not date a guy with whom I can’t possible envision at least some bit of future together… – Yes, Michael Phelps is a great-looking guy, but I just don’t see it, so I wouldn’t seek out a date with him… If he asked me out, sure, I would consider it, but I’m not going to go after him myself…

(Joseph Gordon-Levitt on the other hand…. 😂 [You know, if they weren’t married, that is…])

Anyway, so the apps are being deleted on Tuesday, she said, when she goes on her vacation with the bf, so she only has another day and a half to make something happen from them, if she wants something to happen.

Personally, while it could be fun, I think I would be much more comfortable and rather relieved once the apps are gone… just saying.

Anyway… yeah…

Post-a-day 2019

Memories in alcohol

Walking through an absurdly large and diverse (product-wise) Kroger today, I was struck with a sudden and momentary shift back to Japan, as I passed one of the drink aisles….

There was something about its seeming chaotic orderliness, and its crowded feel that took me back to the alcohol aisles in the store near my house in Japan, and, at first, of this one particular store near the train station in a nearby town where I went to help with English stuff…

And the memory was really nice… it was a very good feeling of transportation, and I felt very much at ease, belonging, and comfortable…

Weird to see Japan as such things, but I also totally get it – it is part of me, and certain points of life were stable there that are not stable for me here and now, thus the feeling of stability and comfort from the memory, despite the fact that Japan as a whole was kind of nuts and really hard on me… 🙂

The aisle…

It is definitely more spaced out in the middle than Japan’s comparable aisle, but the setup and feelings were quite the same for me… who’d’a thunk alcohol could be so warm and fuzzy for me? 😂

Post-a-day 2019

Food

I made a grain-free gumbo tonight.

It actually turned out okay.

It took way, way longer for the arrowroot flour to brown for the roux, and so I gave up after half an hour, and just went ahead and continued onward with the gumbo… if I’d gone even another ten minutes, I think it would have made a very positive difference in the overall flavor.

The smell was amazing, anyway.

The taste ended up slightly bland, and so I added loads of black pepper, which isn’t exactly the most well-rounded flavor for gumbo, but it was acceptable.

I think my friend just didn’t really like it that much.

To be fair, we think she hadn’t actually ever had gumbo before, and, seeing as how all she could think about was étoufée, this was probably an odd flavor in comparison to that.

Also, even though the rice was riced cauliflower, I thought it was reasonably good in the gumbo… she was insistent upon putting butter into her rice(d cauliflower) before adding the gumbo… I think it might have affected the flavors somewhat negatively…

Anyway, I made it and the recipe passed for anyone who can’t do the whole grain diet anymore, which is good enough… just like the regular recipe, of course, though, it takes time and patience to make it all.

Post-a-day 2019

Feeling good

I played ukulele today.

It was with my cousin from Indiana.

I hadn’t played in possibly a month, and then a few months before that time had been without playing, too.

I was delighted to discover that I either remembered or could figure out quickly most any of the chords we were using.

It felt good.

I need to do this more, music… my that that‘s anything new…

How about I clean my room tomorrow evening (after I help someone pack up her house), and set up the one guitar and the ukulele to be it and ready to play?

That sounds like a really good idea. 🙂

P.S. I’m going to the DPS office in the morning when it opens… ick!…, but it is to add the M endorsement on my license, so I need to do it!

P.P.S. I’m still enjoying the happy memories of the gorgeous guy from the gym, and I’m feeling almost over my little girl starstruck in love feelings about it – he is becoming just a person again… a gorgeous person, of course, but a person all the same. 🙂

Post-a-day 2019

…

… Did I mention that we are about 98% sure that he has a child…., a daughter?

He is also very recently single (which I discovered before the daughter part, and which had me start adjusting to the fact that he doesn’t need and likely doesn’t want to date anyone new right now nor for a while yet to come), but that is somewhat beside the point here…

My friend didn’t know who he was when I mentioned him to her, so she did some brief stalking to find a photo of him to see if she recognized him (which she did not).

Upon doing so, she also discovered pictures of a cute little girl… upon further research, it seemed almost undeniably clear that she is his daughter, and has been for the past several years…

My friend asked me if that changes things… I said that I didn’t want it to change things for me, but that I was feeling like it did changes things for me, nonetheless…

I was down and bummed and sad the whole next 20-ish hours, despite our delving into these dating apps (per my friend’s requirement), until I had a conversation with my aunt about it.

She encouraged me, while it is harmless, to enjoy the little girl starstruck in love daydreaming I was having of him – I don’t have to make any decision one way or the other, so long as I remember that it is just a fun mind exercise I’m doing, and that I interact with the real person separate from whatever version of him I have in my head… if it gets to be a problem, and I will know, then I’ll need to make up my mind then to do something about it or to get over it all and let it go.

Until then, however, I get to enjoy the brainstorming version of dating and spending my life with this guy… and I’m happy with that.

Actually, based on how today went with the passive brainstorming, I’m extremely delighted with it.

And, I have much practice in remembering to interact with what and who are in front of me, and not the version I’ve made up in my head…, so I trust myself to interact with him in real life in the way in which I actually want to interact with him, without a doubt (as a friend).

So, that’s kind of where things stand on that front.

Post-a-day 2019

Ugh

We enter into the scene at Hannah’s gym, just after she has finished attending the midday workout class… Hannah has received multiple messages from her girlfriend named Devon, regarding Hannah’s being signed up for another dating app while she was in class, because the one Devon used last night to find someone for Hannah to date wasn’t going so well…

Reading the confirmation code messages, followed by the explanation messages from Devon, Hannah is stunned, and can’t tell if she is excited or totally bothered by this new information just given to her, like a post-workout shake… Brandon walks in just as Hannah exclaims with understanding…

Hannah: Ugh!

Brandon: 🤨

Hannah: Devon is signing me up on all these dating apps…

Brandon: 😂

Hannah: Ugh…

Brandon: Well, I guess…. that’s… what friends… are for…🤔

Hannah: 🤦🏼‍♂️

…….

Brandon: There’s actually a new CrossFit dating app. I just read about it yesterday on Instagram.

…………..

Hannah tells Devon about conversation… Devon’s only and immediate response is, “Ooo I’m gonna find it”…

… cue another face palm for the afternoon for Hannah …🤦🏼‍♂️

Great day, huh?😂

It really was great, though… 🙂

And, despite the fact that I really am not pro-digital dating and dating applications, I’ve enjoyed considering the possible futures with all these different people – I only cross so many people a day who are eligible for such analysis, and so this is kind of an over flux of brain exercises in the form of picturing a possible future with various good-looking guys.

So, yeah, I am enjoying it a bit… but I’m also not caring too much, and am letting her handle things, you know? 🙂

Post-a-day 2019

A+

Well, I did it!

I did a fabulous day filled with fabulous 90° turns, both from a standstill and moving, as well as a bunch of fabulous other maneuvers.

I went a bit wonky on the sharp u-turn part, where you can’t put down a foot on the test, but I did everything else wonderfully, and passed the exam, with commendations from the teacher.

Have you ever known someone who was really good at something, but who was only just starting out?…. and the person was so good that you wanted to see him/her pursue it further, because you could just see how amazing that person could be at it?… I’ve had that every so often with students, and I encourage them to stick with whatever it is, because I can see the natural inclination of awesomeness at the subject matter within them, and I want the world to benefit from that awesomeness, as well as the student….

Well, today, I got to be that person, that student. (!!!)

After the class, the coach was telling me how I was such a good and natural rider, and that a bike just seemed to suit me, I did so well with it, and, what’s more, that he felt I really would do well getting a motorcycle instead of getting a scooter (the scooter having been mentioned this morning at the start of the class)…

He was actually disappointed to discover that I already owned the scooter, because that meant I wouldn’t be getting a bike anytime soon.

And, truly, I was really a bit honored by his compliments.

He said that, while he tried to give the guys in the class a fair time, he put me first on just about every exercise – and I noticed how he would use one of their bikes to do the demonstration, and then line it up in a different spot, so that person wouldn’t go first in the group, and he would encourage me to go near the front…. then, after one round or so, when e would stop us briefly to talk, or have use move to a new location, he always had me as first in lone – because I was the best in the class.

Wow.

I mean, I felt this way a bit myself, that I was doing best overall, but I had no idea it was something worth sharing with me nor that there was such a difference in performance levels, and that mine was quite so high….

It was a really cool feeling… especially when I got the paper to show that I can have the M endorsement on my license now and forever more… that part was really cool for me. 😀

Watch out, World – I’m coming in bright red, European travel gear again!

(And I am thrilled!)

Post-a-day 2019

90° into the future

Last week, my only struggle in the motorcycle training course was making a 90° turn while looking in the designated direction.

Funnily enough, I was so paranoid about messing up the turn and dropping the bike or something while I was looking left (for a left turn) and couldn’t see directly in front of the bike anymore, that I always ended up cutting over the inner cones… aka I was scared of hitting the outside ‘wall’ of baby cones, that I made the turn even tighter than it needed to be..,

Seriously, Banana?

Apparently so… haha

And so, tomorrow is the final day of the course… I have already passed the knowledge test/exam for the M endorsement on my license (M for motorcycle, even though I own a Vespa, not a motorcycle – a very powerful Vespa, of course), and I have passed the first few stages of the riding portion of the licensing exam, the skills test.

Tomorrow, I have the rest of the skills to learn and to do well, including that 90° turn that is genuinely the only skill that has me concerned… everything else is so natural for me, and I have done probably all of it before (we had dirt bikes when I was a kid)… just not a 90° turn while looking so far to the side (it makes sense, of course, in terms of safety regarding not having other cars show up out of nowhere, but I always want to watch the road a bit more than they like for the test, even on my bicycle [Yes, I checked how I do the turns on my bicycle this past week, and I do a back-and-forth head turn thing on my sharp turns.]).

Therefore, I am thinking longingly of a set of fabulous 90° turns in my near future (tomorrow morning, to be exact), and safe, genius diving for myself.

So, here’s to a wonderful night’s rest, and beautiful day tomorrow, and passing my licensing skills test tomorrow morning: Cheers! 😉

Post-a-day 2019