Boyfriends, Partners, and Housemates

Tonight, I taught my first official totally solo yoga class.

Through a series of events involving the teacher suddenly being unable to teach and her not being able to find a sub, I ended up being the sub for the class.

I spent close to an hour preparing everything for class and myself, and then headed downstairs and taught a great class.

I messed up the same little thing I’d messed up in the past with classes, but I noticed it within possibly one minute of my having made the error, and, though it was too late to do anything about it, the fact that I noticed it son immediately is something that I consider, in its way, a win.

Being oblivious to my errors would have been loads worse of a situation.

Fortunately, I noticed it, and almost immediately.

Even with that, the class went really well.

And I actually enjoyed myself.

I wish I had had more time to prepare, but I used the time I had available to me, and I created and taught a great class.

Everyone left in a very positive state of mind, with a sort of cozy smile on each of their faces… gratitude for my teaching.

There was one new person who left right after class ended, and so I wasn’t able to gauge her experience so much… and that might rest in my mind a while…, but I know it is okay and everything was perfect exactly how it happened.

If she did not like the class, then she was meant not to like the class tonight – it does not mean that I am a bad, unlovable person.

It means I was meant to do exactly what I did, and there is something for us all to get out of the experience… just as it would mean if she had totally loved the class.

Anyway….

Oh, I also earned some money by doing this class, which was a delightful and much-appreciated financial bonus.

Sharing all of this is great.

And I really wanted to share it with someone I know…, but I don’t have a someone who listens to all of my sharing and talking… I don’t have someone who wants specifically to hear from me about these many things in my life… I do not have a partner, a someone special, a boyfriend…., or even housemates…

And it left me feeling rather overly spacious tonight, spread out, solo in a group culture… alone.

And not necessarily in a positive way.

So, I figured I would share here – just like how I learned the value of a diary – someone always willing and desiring to hear my every thought and word, if I wish to share them – I can see that this space of sharing and writing is a space that is always waiting and open and interested in what is on my mind… even if I have no one concrete with whom to share…

Yet…

Post-a-day 2019

C’est le jour last

C’est le jour 1, celui qu’on retient

Celui qui s’efface quand tu me remplaces

Quand tu me retiens, c’est celui qui reviens(!!!)

These are the lyrics to the chorus of this song a lot of my students love. It’s called “Jour 1”, and it is sung by a French artist who uses the name Louane. She sings beautifully, and this song it fun, but I prefer her songs from the film “La Famille Bélier” – Michel Sardou really does have some great songs.

Anyway, we are doing a version of escape rooms as my departing gift to my students (the quarter ends tomorrow). I spent a lot of time putting them together these past couple weeks, and I had the upper level classes today – they went beautifully. Especially the French III was particularly awesome. ::big heart

Tomorrow is the French II and I turns at the escape rooms… I am nervous.

I so far have one helper from French III for each of the classes, and then three students in French II who will be moderators for the three sections/rooms.

For a class of 25, that still makes me a bit nervous…

However, I know that four boys will be home for French II (supposedly, anyway), which drops it to 22 total, and only 19 doing the puzzles… aka about six members per section – that sounds so much better.

I have a plan for how to make it all work – fingers crossed that it goes beautifully and flawlessly, that we all have a wonderful time, and that I give the boys an appropriately love-filled goodbye (I’m singing and playing ukulele for them for a specific blessing/prayer sort of song I love.

De la force!! ❤

Post-a-day 2019

No School Blues

Well, I woke up this morning to an e-mail declaring school to have been canceled for the day…

And I was disappointed.

I had actually been looking forward to the day, to being on a schedule, to having to be somewhere, to being able to be with my kids…

And it all was canceled.

What’s worse, I had gone to bed early, and missed getting ran adjustment from the chiropractor while he was in town, because I needed to have enough sleep to be able to get through the day and my workout and everything today…, but school was canceled just as I was going to bed, a while after I had checked my e-mail for the last time…

And then, it didn’t even rain almost at all today – my one consolation was going to be glorious and beautiful rain, and we only had that for maybe an hour this evening, and hardly at all did it even sprinkle during the day(!!!).

Sigh…

Anyway, I still went to the gym at noon, and it was great.

(Although the gorgeous individual was, naturally, absent – why would I expect such good luck on a day like today, anyway, right?… I somehow knew it would be that way, so I was already mentally prepared for that one, anyway…)

I even visited with my mom a while afterward, while she was working in town.

But then I came home and ate and cooked food and ate some more, and watched a movie… I didn’t even go dancing tonight… Instead, I am sitting on my bed, getting ready to go to sleep so that I can get up early for the 9am workout tomorrow…

The only positive part about all of that is that tomorrow’s workout will be my 100th workout since joining the gym.

That’s five and a half months that we have been members at his gym (after tomorrow, that is, of course)… and one hundred classes will have been accomplished as of tomorrow morning at 10am…

Weird for me to consider all of this…, but I’ll give some solid reflection and then dedication to expressing my findings tomorrow, after the workout at some point…., acknowledge how well I’ve done and how far I’ve come and all that Jazz…

Anyway, goodnight…

P.S. On that last note, I was invited to an Astros game today, and the game starts after 6pm tomorrow (aka loads later than I care to have one start), and I actually agreed to go…, so things have definitely changed for me these past several months…

Post-a-day 2019

Je te déteste :P

Well, pretty much the only thing going on (of which I can makes sense, that is) in my head is the somewhat constant loop of this song the kids played in class today.

We were working on self-introductions, and, as usual, the kids were asking for additional phrases to throw into the practice conversations they were having with each added question I gave them to ask and answer.

(For example, on the first day of class, one kid asked for, “Can I have your number?”, and, as I gave him the French for it, the kids learned that they really could learn to say in French everything they want to say…, and now, they bring up the number question just about every other class meeting, as can be expected of teenage boys.)

When we brought up the question and answer for “What do you like (to do)?”, there was the natural question of, “What is I love you in French?”

And so I said and wrote Je t’aime on the board.

Then a similar phrase they requested.

And then there was, “How do you say, ‘I hate you’?”

**Do note that the kids are asking all of these things in French, with only the unknown phrase being said in English, and I only speak French with them… and this is only their third week of French ever.**

I laugh, and then write Je te déteste on the board, and I help them say it properly.

Immediately, I recall a beautiful bit of music I’d been shown a few years ago (by a student), and I explain to them that there is a song called “Je te déteste”, and it is sung by an artist called Vianney, and that they should look it up.

They asked if they could play the song now, and I told one of them to go ahead and pull it up on the desktop and projector, so we could all listen to it and watch the music video.

In shock for only a moment, the boy jumped into action – seemingly before I changed my mind or rescinded (is that right?) the unexpected offer.

He found the song, and played it for the final minutes of class, and I showed them how Vianney spells out déteste in the song, and, frankly, they kind of jammed out.

It was adorable.

And so, now, hours later, I have the middle of the song playing on loop in my head…

Je crie de tout mon être

Sur un morceau de bois

Plutôt que dans tes oreilles

Qui n’écoutent que toi

D E T E S TE te déteste

D E T E S T E….

So good, but so loop-inducing 😛

Je te déteste by Vianney… you’re welcome 😛

Post-a-day 2019

90° into the future

Last week, my only struggle in the motorcycle training course was making a 90° turn while looking in the designated direction.

Funnily enough, I was so paranoid about messing up the turn and dropping the bike or something while I was looking left (for a left turn) and couldn’t see directly in front of the bike anymore, that I always ended up cutting over the inner cones… aka I was scared of hitting the outside ‘wall’ of baby cones, that I made the turn even tighter than it needed to be..,

Seriously, Banana?

Apparently so… haha

And so, tomorrow is the final day of the course… I have already passed the knowledge test/exam for the M endorsement on my license (M for motorcycle, even though I own a Vespa, not a motorcycle – a very powerful Vespa, of course), and I have passed the first few stages of the riding portion of the licensing exam, the skills test.

Tomorrow, I have the rest of the skills to learn and to do well, including that 90° turn that is genuinely the only skill that has me concerned… everything else is so natural for me, and I have done probably all of it before (we had dirt bikes when I was a kid)… just not a 90° turn while looking so far to the side (it makes sense, of course, in terms of safety regarding not having other cars show up out of nowhere, but I always want to watch the road a bit more than they like for the test, even on my bicycle [Yes, I checked how I do the turns on my bicycle this past week, and I do a back-and-forth head turn thing on my sharp turns.]).

Therefore, I am thinking longingly of a set of fabulous 90° turns in my near future (tomorrow morning, to be exact), and safe, genius diving for myself.

So, here’s to a wonderful night’s rest, and beautiful day tomorrow, and passing my licensing skills test tomorrow morning: Cheers! 😉

Post-a-day 2019

Mommy, let me skip tomorrow, please

I have schoolwork that I need to do tomorrow and Tuesday, but I find myself already feeling that old dreaded feeling of Sunday night at the end of Spring Break in middle and high school… I don’t want to go back to school tomorrow…. Mommy, can I just not go to school tomorrow?

Obviously, she always declined, but I never truly meant it – some part of me always wanted to go back… I just didn’t necessarily have all the work finished by Sunday evening, and so really just didn’t want to do the work I needed to have done by class the next morning… much like this time… 😛

Life has offered me so many awesome things this past week, and I’ve grown so accustomed to them – and quite easily, I dare add – that I don’t want to go back to that other routine from before Spring Break…

A small part of me is saying that things will be good once I’m back to it, and that it is only tough because this has been such a good break, and that even the break would turn bad, if it didn’t have an end, and that, at that point, I would start to long for my previous schedule of school and work…

But the key word up there is “small”.

And so, I feel like curling up into my bed with my stuffed animals – duh – and ignoring morning tomorrow, and sleeping in, instead… though, I know I’ll be up around eight or nine at the latest, desperately needing to go potty, and guilt is likely to settle in within me, if I try to avoid the day by going back to sleep. 😛

And so, (I say again) I think I’ll not bother figuring out anything right now… I’ll go to sleep and rest myself in all aspects for the night, and then see how I feel whenever I awaken… hopefully, I’ll be prima for going to a coffee shop to work, and then I actually do that, because I really do have a decent amount of schoolwork to do by Tuesday and Thursday evenings. (Yikes.)

Sweet Dreams, and Good Morning (to those across the planet right now from me)!

Post-a-day 2019

Class quote, I say

Tonight at class was great, and for various reasons.

At one point, our usually-rather-serious-and-exhausted teacher is mentioning something she has said to us many a times, and I have to do an audio double-take:

“Did you just quote yourself with blah blah?”

She pauses… looks at me…, “I did.”

She ever so slightly smiles…, “I did.”

And then she, along with us, breaks into chuckles laughter, as she explains how she needn’t always be serious and that she finds it important for her to offer some humor for us from time to time, so we can remember that she is not just a mean old professor, but that she is a human being.

Then we went all into how students regularly think she’s mean and grades ‘too hard’ on assignments (definitely false on both accounts, but we could see how kids could think that).

And, somehow, it was all entirely relevant to what we were aiming to cover in class tonight, and we tied it all in with our research methods topics of the night, everyone participating in the conversation (at last!).

It was a great class meeting tonight. 🙂

Post-a-day 2018

Bilingual Ballet

I found myself thinking of (and, of course, missing) my ballet class in Japan.

I was the tallest by a lot, and it was mostly older ladies (not old, but definitely older), and everyone was super sweet and happy and even a bit giddy every class.

And the teacher and I had an unwanted but accustomed distance-by-language-barrier, because my technical Japanese was utterly iffy, and her English possibly below that… that is, we had this distance until the night that we delightfully discovered that we both spoke French rather fluently… then we got on quite comfortably, and even more familiarly than I did with any of the others, because we could say so much to each other now.

I had always asked on occasion for the teacher to repeat something she’d said or done (in Japanese, of course), and I continued that…, but now I could and would ask for clarity at times when I still wasn’t certain what the goal or instruction was (if you’ve ever done ballet, you can understand how important it is to understand what muscles are doing what in a movement), and that part would be in French.

All in all, Monday nights at ballet class were always great, and I miss them now, especially with it getting cold outside (that was when I’d first started going to the classes).

Post-a-day 2018

Writing papers

I panicked that I wouldn’t have enough to write about for a 6-8-page paper for class.  And so, I did loads of research, looking constantly for new sources to support just about everything and anything I was planning to say in the paper, and I collected it all in a Google Doc, adding the necessary commentary surrounding the citations, as I went along.  Eventually, I grew tired of doing this, and so decided to take a break by deleting the headings for each section of my drafty draft and deleting any quotes I’d found that I would not be using.

…And so, somehow, I am sitting here with some sections that have yet to turn from citations to paragraphs containing the citations and the majority of the paragraphs written out already, and it is over seven pages long…. single spaced.

Guess my plan now is just to cut out anything I found to be third-rate.  And, if that isn’t enough, second-rate comes next.  Always easier than having to fill in with tenth-rate crap after having concisely said everything I want to support a topic in a paper, but another two pages are required by the teacher.

But I still don’t want to do it.

Anyway…, here goes.

Post-a-day 2018

Pastries

It wasn’t until I had lived in France for a few months that I found out about the secret bags of pastries.

You see, normally, I would have one to three pastries a week.  That was all that I could afford reasonably, really.  And fresh pastries in France are kind of the bomb dot com.  Period.  Sometimes, during the morning break in class, my classmates and I would walk to the bakery the next street over, and all have a pastry and coffee together.  It was fun and always delicious.  And, compared to the US, the prices were fabulous.  However, there was still a limit – we couldn’t really do it every day on our college student budgets.

But, my life was somewhat transformed when one of the girls in my program told me how she always got her pastries.  D- found a way to try them all on a budget.  She said, ‘Yeah, you just look for these bags up on top of the counter, in a basket, and they’re filled with whatever didn’t sell yesterday.  So, it’s different every day.’

After several days, if not even a couple weeks, of psyching myself up, I finally went to the bakery she’d mentioned, to find these secret bags.  And there they were, crammed full of various pastries, and they were only a few euros.  I think it was that very first time that, even though I totally knew what the bag up on top of the pastry case was, I asked casually to the pastry chef what it was.  He explained it all to me, and how they didn’t want to waste anything, so they bagged it up and sold it cheap the next morning.  I semi-feigned surprise at what he told me, but I was also genuinely surprised that D- had been right and it really wasreal thing.  For the price of one or two fresh pastries, I could get a whole bag of ones made only yesterday, and of all different types.  No, if you grow up on fresh French pastries, they aren’t nearly too delicious.  However, we didn’t grow up on fresh French pastries – we delighted in even the day-old pastries like it was some of the best stuff we’d ever eaten.  (And it totally was.)

Plus, if someone had given me a bag of pastries anyway, I probably wouldn’t have eaten them all at once.  It would have taken me most of the day to get through them comfortably, and I’d probably even save something for breakfast the next day.  So, for a huge fraction of the price, we got to do just that.

Usually, I’d share a bag with others, so we all got to try the different pastries.  But I got my own a few times, for sure.

So anyway, if you go to France for vacation or whatever, ask the bakeries in the morning if they have bags of yesterday’s leftovers.  I think there’s even a specific term for it, but my brain is not producing it right now, if there is one… I totally used it, whatever it was, though, word or phrase or whatever… I loved trying out all the different pastries.  However, despite trying so many different pastries, I still almost exclusively get a chocolatine (pain au chocolat everywhere but the southwest), a croissant, and/or a baguette (though those guys aren’t pastries, they are still one of my favorite foods ever).  But whatever.  I got to test out all the stuff and see that I enjoyed it all, as well as discover that I really just love the simple stuff best.  (It’s like a cliché about life or something, but it’s just how I feel about French pastries.)

Post-a-day 2018