Tonight, I taught my first official totally solo yoga class.
Through a series of events involving the teacher suddenly being unable to teach and her not being able to find a sub, I ended up being the sub for the class.
I spent close to an hour preparing everything for class and myself, and then headed downstairs and taught a great class.
I messed up the same little thing I’d messed up in the past with classes, but I noticed it within possibly one minute of my having made the error, and, though it was too late to do anything about it, the fact that I noticed it son immediately is something that I consider, in its way, a win.
Being oblivious to my errors would have been loads worse of a situation.
Fortunately, I noticed it, and almost immediately.
Even with that, the class went really well.
And I actually enjoyed myself.
I wish I had had more time to prepare, but I used the time I had available to me, and I created and taught a great class.
Everyone left in a very positive state of mind, with a sort of cozy smile on each of their faces… gratitude for my teaching.
There was one new person who left right after class ended, and so I wasn’t able to gauge her experience so much… and that might rest in my mind a while…, but I know it is okay and everything was perfect exactly how it happened.
If she did not like the class, then she was meant not to like the class tonight – it does not mean that I am a bad, unlovable person.
It means I was meant to do exactly what I did, and there is something for us all to get out of the experience… just as it would mean if she had totally loved the class.
Oh, I also earned some money by doing this class, which was a delightful and much-appreciated financial bonus.
Sharing all of this is great.
And I really wanted to share it with someone I know…, but I don’t have a someone who listens to all of my sharing and talking… I don’t have someone who wants specifically to hear from me about these many things in my life… I do not have a partner, a someone special, a boyfriend…., or even housemates…
And it left me feeling rather overly spacious tonight, spread out, solo in a group culture… alone.
And not necessarily in a positive way.
So, I figured I would share here – just like how I learned the value of a diary – someone always willing and desiring to hear my every thought and word, if I wish to share them – I can see that this space of sharing and writing is a space that is always waiting and open and interested in what is on my mind… even if I have no one concrete with whom to share…