Ouch (yet again)

Well, naturally, I am sick from stress, yet again.

My throat feels a fire burning fervently within.

Menstruation has been timely to increase my need for sleep.

And I’ve loads to do; so, please, let’s pray that I keep… up.

Post-a-day 2018

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Think before you speak

Today, I was the forced object and false source of a race-related disturbance.

And I don’t want to talk about it.

But I do want to share that it happened.

The woman did not hear my giddy excitement as I told my mom what I had just seen while returning from the bathroom, nor that my mom asked me where I had seen them.

The woman did not hear my genuine words of excuse (or my mother’s), immediately following the moment where my pointed arm passed between her eyes and her far-outstretched camera.

The woman did not see that she was almost standing on top of my bag (to which I had just returned after using the bathroom).

The woman did not hear or see any of this – she only saw a pale, blue-eyed, blonde girl ‘get rudely in her way’.

Based on all of the angrily expelled words that were slung like swings of a bat from her mouth, she made some serious assumptions about who and how the ‘never taught any manners’ white girl was.

At first, I made an effort to calm her and to show her how unintentional the act of pointing in front of her was, and that I’d never meant to do any harm or rudeness…, but her irrational declarations and chastisements suddenly became rational, when I discovered that, for her, it was about race, and had nothing to do with what actually had happened.

At that point, I made it clear to my mom, too, that there was no use in discussing anything with the woman – she couldn’t hear us or our words… only our skin.

It saddened me that someone would believe such intense beliefs about me, and especially where we were (a multicultural event), when I am the person I am.

I have more than just friendships to show that I am not what the woman assumed of me, but it seems absurd that I even would have to defend myself on the matter… I just don’t understand why people continue to insist that things like this must be “fought”.

What good was accomplished by this woman’s verbal attack today?

I don’t believe that fighting has ever truly been the answer in history.

It was just a way to get rid of those who saw things differently, but permanently so – it didn’t actually solve problems.

… Anyway… just some thoughts of mine tonight…

Post-a-day 2018

Nature’s magic

Did you know that indigo powder is green?

I had always imagined that it would be, you know, blue-ish… like indigo, the color.

But then, here I have some indigo powder, and, sure enough, it is pale green, much like a mix of moss and grass.

And then, just as surely, of course, it dyed things blue-ish…, indigo.

Magic in nature, I suppose…

There isn’t much that occurs naturally as blue in nature, but I wonder how much more there might be that are just as deceiving as indigo… talk about not judging a book by its cover…

Post-a-day 2018

Backsplaining

Sometimes I feel as though I can’t talk about anything without explaining a million other things first…. which then continues the cycle of having to explain more and more, all because I’d wanted to share one little something.

(Perhaps that’s a benefit of having only the same select few people in one’s life forever – never having to do the back explaining…)

Post-a-day 2018

Digitrouble

Today, my Instagram account stopped linking properly with my Facebook account, only uploading a post if it had only a single image, and not multiple images.

This troubled me.

I troubleshooted, and I discovered the exact issue, but not a solution.

And it troubles me somewhat that the issue itself troubles me…, for what attachments do I have involved in such a silly little technical issue?

Or is it merely that I find it absurd when such simple things go wrong, because I view it as the likely result of what I would consider to be the simple stupidity of someone or people not thinking things through thoroughly, so that they actually do a good, worthy job?

Maybe a bit of both…

Post-a-day 2018