Brains and words

I’m listening to a news audiobook this week. In it, the narrator does hand lettering and calligraphy. At various points in the story so far, she has described how she often sees the letters of the words people say, as though they are out in front of her, and she describes to the reader the size and style and font and, even at times, movement of those words. Every time she does this, I find myself agreeing with her. Yes, I saw it that way, too…, because I had seen it that way, when the other characters had said what they had said, before the narrator had described the way she had heard and seen it. I don’t have the education regarding specific fonts that she seems to have, but I’ve done a touch of research along the way, as she mentions something of which I am not certain, and now understand exactly what she means as she describes various fonts and words. And I get it, every time.

Which made me suddenly realize that, though I can relate so easily to this character in this way, I do not believe that was necessarily the intention. That is, I think she was more meant to be a sort of artistic anomaly, one that is fascinating to the normal folk, because they are not like she is; they do not see the world of words as she does.

At the very least, however, I have a fictional comrade in seeing the words that people speak, and then, likely, at least one person in real life, be it the author or someone the author knows. So, I’m not entirely alone on this.

But it does have me wonder how many people do actually see words this way, as I and this character do. Like how some people hear smells or see sounds; like how Julie’s R is always the color purple (a girl from my program back in France, many years ago). Is this a matter of neuron pruning, like synesthesia? Is it only a small piece of the population, or are there actually millions out there?

In a way, I wonder how alone I am on this way that my brain functions…

Post-a-day 2021

Not even thirty… and yet

Man, is it way past the bedtime I wanted for tonight. It is about to be ten pm.

And how ridiculous does that sound? Haha I have learned that my body likes getting up early; it also, however, likes going to bed early. It still can stay up quite late, and rather effectively so. However, it really, really likes to shower and get into pjs around 7pm, give or take a bit, and do my stretches and reading and writing by around 8pm, so I can turn off the lights and go to bed at 9pm. Is that not ridiculous?

Indeed, it is ridiculous. But it is what’s so, so I’m rolling with it!

At that, goodnight, folks! 😉

Post-a-day 2021

^Got it, with only a touch of hesitation!

Music and love

I shared tonight the song I wrote this week. I had in my head that it needed to be touched up somehow, but it turned out to be perfect for me as it was already. I just had to play it all together at once, when my un-callused fingers had rested and could handle playing again. 😛

But I really like the song. And it is in a different way from most of the others. This song is about heartbreak on a human level, and a heartbreak that we all share at some point in life: the heartbreak others don’t see in our lives, the hidden heartbreak.

My heart is aching like it’s breaking

And not only just for me.

How many hearts are the same today

For the things we just don’t see?

Thus goes the chorus. And how utterly true it is.

However, I believe that, though life can be terribly difficult and painful at times, when we operate on a foundation of love, and we make love our aim, our every breath, our life, life is beyond worth it all. I am grateful for this life and for all the love I find and am able to produce and experience within it.

Gratitude, Universe ❤

P.S. Tonight at 21:21:21,

It was the 21st second

Of the 21st minute

Of the 21st hour

Of the 21st day

Of the 21st year

Of the 21st century

Rather baller, huh? 😉

Post-a-day 2021

A Musical Goodnight

Okay. So, that second song seems to be created now. I likely will make tiny tweaks as I prepare to record it for real – well, more for real – but I like it as it is, and I am very happy with it. I need to go back and listen to another song I did, so I can make sure they don’t sound too similar. At least not unnecessarily similar. I’m fine that they be similar as single-instrument and voice songs – I only know about two strumming patterns after all, and both of these songs are slow songs, so variation is minimal on the instrumental front. However, I want them to be two exclusive songs. So, I need to do a touch of checking and editing on singing notes and phrases.

After that, though, I will upgrade from my casual, ‘Just get it all down,’ recording on my phone to a more official recording of how the song really goes, all the way through.

For now, I shall rest briefly and, hopefully, quite well before the early morning workout that is to come in only a few hours.

Goodnight for now, World. Hasta la dark before sunrise, baby. 😉

Post-a-day 2021

^Baller

Music life

I am beginning to see how easy it is to write songs, to create songs. It already seemed doable to me before now, but it has become abundantly clear to me that it is all even easier than expected.

And, I suppose, that is what really is so hard about writing songs. Because it is so easy to start writing them, it is easy to lose track, get distracted, and never finish one. Loads of starts and parts, but very few full, finished songs ever seem to appear.

I guess that is a warning, a reminder, and an encouragement for me. Beware of doing only starts and not actually taking the time and effort to focus on creating a full song in the mix. Remember that it is easy and that you can and want to take the time and make the effort for starts and full songs both. You have done the tremendous effort of completing full and real songs already – you can do it again as many times as you wish.

That being said, I have two songs that are sprouting. One is almost ready to be written beyond just a chorus, and the other began today, budding out with its main idea in the first verse and chorus. (Psst: I’m actually really excited about the latter song.) It feels like the second one will happen before the first, and that’s completely okay with and for me. It isn’t quite yet time for the first, and I know it. It is more a birthday song this year, so it likely won’t be ready until closer to then for me. 😛

Post-a-day 2021

^Whew! I caught myself as I was in the middle of writing the year! No mis-types. Just perfect timing of remembering! 😛

Mystery music with unexpected friends

I recently made a new friendship with someone. We got along like friends the first moment we interacted with one another. When we first spent time together, not long after that first meeting, I discovered that she, too, rarely arranged to spend time with people unless she really likes them, and feels they are genuine with themselves.

She and I have been in touch via phone, both message and conversation, off and on, and have attended yoga together, and seen one another in passing since then. For several weeks now, almost since the first time we were arranging to spend time together, I have had this pull, this desire, to create a song with her. I don’t know what it is about her, but it just keeps coming up that we need to write a song, possibly songs, together. And so, rather than casually mention it, I told her about how this idea keeps coming up, and I asked for her thoughts – would she create a song with me?

Her reply was that, though she ‘can’t sing to save her life,’ she would create a song with me, Hannah Banana. 😛

And so we shall begin this song pull, now. I am quite excited. I think and I feel that something huge and beautiful will come of this.

Post-a-day 2021

^ Still got it wrong at first, but caught it before saving!

Nighttime thoughts

When I transitioned from being angry to just being myself again tonight – yes, something quite annoying happened today that left my mother angry and crushed and borderline crying, and it annoyed me greatly – I found myself considering the descriptive phrase of someone who “crosses her t’s and dots her i’s”. That means someone who puts everything in its proper place and pays attention to details. An organized and detail-oriented individual, that is.

I literally cross all of my t’s and dot all of my i’s. Does that mean that I am someone befitting that description?

I even sometimes cross some of my l’s, and also occasionally dot some of my e’s and u’s. What does that then say about me? 😂

Fun thinking for me, anyway… 😂

Post-a-day 2020

“I Trust In You”

I was at an artist retreat this weekend with my mom, out in the forest North of Houston. I wasn’t in the sessions themselves (my mom was), but was still part of the activities for the families who accompanied the artists on this Catholic outdoor camping and hiking adventure. I listened to what was said, my conscious and sub-conscious absorbed the words and the themes that surrounded us all throughout this retreat, and, yesterday afternoon, I produced this song while sitting on a yoga mat in the grass after a rough and glorious hike. It wasn’t intentional to have such obvious connections – that’s the sub-conscious managing things here – but the irony of it all is that I wrote a song based unintentionally around the phrase “I trust in you”, while at The Divine Mercy Retreat Center. (If you don’t get the irony, look up The Divine Mercy painting images.)

Whatever your beliefs and followings, I hope you find love and joy in this song. 😉 ✨💗🎨⚡️🕉🌏💫📿🧘🏻‍♀️❤🤗🙏🐪 🤸🌸🌻

🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑

💪👊🏻👍

P.S. To hear the song, it seems you have to go to the Instagram post, since I can only attach photos in here.

Campfire Music

Tonight, around a campfire, a semi-eclectic crowd of Catholic artists listened as I and a lovely younger girl Claudette performed on our ukuleles together. We had never met before this night, and only met because I agreed to bring out my ukulele to ‘give an alternate perspective’ for the typical campfire Christian guitar songs (and we had three guitars working together already), and, as I went up to play, someone mentioned having seen a ukulele with someone else a while ago. The guitar guys convinced her to pull out hers with me, and come play. No one had any idea I was about to play a German song that none of them were likely to know, but I figured we could roll with it – if the girl pulled out her uke so easily (though it wasn’t out of the case yet, and she was carrying a binder, too, so she had some hesitation hat likely was nerves), she must be able to play at least the basic chords, if not a great amount.

So, I showed her the song and we tuned her up and went through it quickly together quietly, and then someone actually made an announcement for everyone to listen to us play. I pointed out that Claudette was reading a language she didn’t understand for this, so please be very proud of how well she plays along, because that is not an easy thing to do…, and then we played. We made mistakes, and it still sounded awesome.

Then, because people just seem to do this, the guitar guys requested Iz’s “Over the Rainbow”, which both of us have but never play. It’s kind of a hassle simply due to the range going so low for the singing…, which we both proved to everyone while we fumbled through it together, laughing kind of often as we went. Afterward, we actually played a couple other songs well, and enjoyed them greatly. The other folks enjoyed them, too.

One of them was the first song in her notebook, “La Vie en Rose”, and, since her version was in English, we had her sing in through once off the paper, and then I sang it through once in French… which totally shocked the listeners, and was a way fun surprise. (By the way, I feel like I am sharing as though I am a middle or high schooler or something… :P) What was extra fun was the part where I suddenly realized that I genuinely have no idea what the very last line is, and so I simply shrugged just before it, and then sang, “Je ne sais pas les mots, mais c’est bon,” which translates to, “I do not know the words, but it’s okay.” Obviously, no one had any idea that I had made up that line. 😛

And we finished off with two collaborations with the guitar guys. The first was a semi-four chord song, so, since I couldn’t see the paper (remember, there are here guitar guys and then two of us), I just watched Claudette’s fingers to know which of the four chords was happening when out of sequence. It went surprisingly well for me… it was really cool. On the second song, the paper was on our side of the notebook, so I could see it for myself. And it was one of my favorite old songs from Church, about Samuel, who was Hannah’s child. But I liked the song long before I ever learned that connection… like a solid decade beforehand. Anyway, two guys claimed the first two versus, and said we all would sing the bird verse together (and choruses, of course). But, during the second round of the chorus, I was told/offered to sing the third verse myself. So, I did. And, halfway through, because the versus were rather long, I told Claudette to sing with me. And she did.

Singing with her reminds me of elementary school, when I was told that this one girl, Katie C—, and I sounded really great together on a certain song (“The White Cliffs of Dover”). I didn’t entirely understand at the time how anyone would know that, or how someone would sound better singing with one person than with another, except for the fact that he one person must just be a better singer than the other. I have since learned. And I was almost shocked tonight when I heard us singing together. Our voices and styles are quite different from one another, and yet they complement each other beautifully. It made me want to sing and play more with her. I hope I get the opportunity tomorrow and often in the future.

As we were closing up the campfire, it came out that this was my first public “performance” of my ukulele and singing skills, so to speak, and no one could seem to believe it. I guess because I wasn’t shaky, and was able to talk and play and sing like what seemed to them like any other normal day. But that’s training in presenting and self-comfort, not in performing music. In response to their claims of disbelief at this, I ended up sharing how I only just starting playing more and writing songs earlier this summer, so it is still a kind of new idea for me to be playing for other people in the first place. And so, now, they clamoured to hear one of my songs.

So, I accepted the anointed guitar the priest had been playing – because that’s just baller, y’all – and told a quick background to one of my songs, and then played it for everyone. And I think the back story really put a context to the song that kind of blew everyone away just a little bit. It actually made me tear up a bit during the song, as is common for me with this particular song… it’s just really good, and the meaning is spectacular when one knows the context of its writing. Anyway, so, that was a really, really cool mini-adventure tonight. And I am very grateful for it, on many accounts. Now, however, I must sleep.

Goodnight! 😉

Post-a-day 2020

Tonight

I’m not sure what to share tonight.  I’m sitting in bed, propped up poorly by a couple – actually, it’s three – pillows, my lower back aching something wicked for the third or fifth day in a row.  I mean, it’s loads better than it was a couple days ago, but it is still very uncomfortable, and I’m concerned I’ll have trouble sleeping again.  It’s kind of funny, the irony of physical aches and pains.  Oftentimes, what we need most in such situations, is rest.  Yet, the pain is such that we have a hard time resting or sleeping.  So, we don’t really end up recuperating very well or very quickly.

I started working on a song just a bit ago, because a friend asked  – well, not technically, but I know he intended to make the request – me to create something I found beautiful.  He said that there doesn’t seem to be enough of that in the world right now.  So, I’m working on a song of things I find beautiful in life.  I kind of hated it for a while, but I evaluated why I kind of hated it, saw that it was because I was trying to make it something that wasn’t true to who I really am and how I really feel about the matter, and switched into the proper gear for myself.  I think it is going to turn out spectacular now.  I’m even excited about it for myself, and not just for the friend to enjoy it.  😀

Anyway, I’m wiped, so I’m going to aim for intense, helpful, healing, deep, long sleep tonight, with a wake-up that is completely ready to take on the stormy day tomorrow.  😀

Post-a-day 2020