Distractions? Oder Directions?

*oder – (German) or

These beautiful and wonderful things keep coming up. I am grateful for each and every one of them. However, they have rather kept me from pursuing the main goal I had to pursue, now that my teaching position has ended: coding. I had set myself up for this path toward coding, and the main resource has been delayed, and I haven’t reached out yet to the secondary resource, because I’ve been so busy managing the tutoring that’s come up, along with the part-time job work and the other part-time job work and the tidying and catching up on things at home…

Have these things been coming up because they are distractions, requiring me to prove my dedication and desire to pursue this goal of coding right now? Or are they actually directions from God and the Universe, answering my prayers for clear guidance, showing me that diving fully into the coding is not what they need me to do right now?

God, help me to follow your will fully. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Despair

No, it isn’t poorly pronounced French, but I almost rather it were every time I encounter it. Despair is an odd one. For me, it is both kind of the worst and, in a small way, sort of the best. Sure, the bad part makes sense, but what’s this with the goodness of despair? Well, whenever I find myself in a state of despair, it is always the point at which the straw breaks the camel’s back, so to speak – it is the turning point for me. Simply by seeing the despair, by noticing and acknowledging it, I inevitably start to do something about it, and sort the whole situation out in a way that leaves me, well, being fully myself again. And isn’t that just wonderful?

So, as I said, despair is, while despairing, also gladdening for me. Thank you, God, for showing me this current state of despair. I trust wholly in my ability through your love and will to clear this up beautifully and to restore myself fully to life, better than ever, and every day showing more of the magical and astounding woman you created me to become and to be. I love you. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Trust, and let God

Funny how, when we just trust in God, and we do what we truly feel is what is consistent with who’s kid how we want to be in life, things just fall somewhat perfectly into place. We’ve been working hard to figure out something these past several months. Phone calls and internet research and meetings have happened. We finally accepted the fate we didn’t want, and went with what seemed to be the best option of that particular fate.

In preparation for that to begin, I looked to see what final things I wanted us to do before the program started. From that, I knew I wanted to go to a particular location. We went there today. It was awesome, as I expected. And the thought popped up for me to ask about this whole fate-we-didn’t-love-but-had-accepted situation. And so, despite my fear, I asked.

And God gave us this spectacular answer that altered everything, and made it even cooler than we had originally been hoping to have it be. Blown away.

Thank you, God.

Post-a-day 2022

Prayers answered

You know the story of the man in his home as a storm hits, how the neighbors ask in a truck for him to flee with them, and he replies that God will save him? The flood waters rise, a boat comes, offers a ride, and he declines, saying God will save him. The waters rise more, a helicopter comes to him as he sits on his roof, surrounded by water, but he declines the ride. ‘God will save me.’ He then is sealed up by the waters. As he approaches the pearly gates, he asks God why God never saved him. God asks him what he thought the truck, the boat, and the helicopter were.

I felt a version of that story today, coincidentally right after having a student mention that story in class.

You see, I hit this issue with my part-time job, right? I prayed for clear guidance from God as to what to do. I needed to know if I was staying with the job, and, if so, how to go about picking up an extra shift, in order to meet the new requirements.

I felt initially like it might be to pick up a shift this weekend, today, but it had to work out just right. There was then an open invitation for 7pm to midnight work for tonight. But it just felt like too much struggle for me, staying out and up so late. It was too likely I would end up sick, as I usually have whenever I stay up and out like that.

Then a shift was available for 2pm to 7pm today… still later than I wanted. But let me think on it. It’ll still be there, if it’s meant to be. I trust you… After a bit, I decided to go ahead and go for it; suck it up and make it work. But the shift was gone. I couldn’t take it. I looked into it, and saw that no one had actually picked it up. So, I potentially could reach out to the original person and ask if she still wanted it covered… but that didn’t feel right.

Something kept pulling at me, though… there was something about today, since I was finishing at school so early. There had to be something… please?

Then, in our group message thing, I saw the most recent message from about 45 minutes beforehand. Someone had an issue arise and couldn’t go in. Could someone go in from now until 5pm?

Seriously?!

‘I could go in about an hour,’ I offered. It was true. I could handle enough work to have only a bit left to do before school Monday, and head out by noon, work until five, and get to my man not too long after he would be finishing work for the day. And it would fulfill the extra day I needed to work before the end of the month, without giving up tomorrow or a Sunday.

A manager responded, saying they would love to have me. So, I got my work handled quickly after all my classes ended, and I headed in just a few minutes after noon. I was ready to start working before 12:30, and was blown away when, halfway through the shift, a manager tells me that I’m only supposed to be there until 4:30. Even better! I love working at this place, but for four hours at a time. Beyond that, and it kind of wipes me.

So, I got home feeling really great this evening. Added bonus is that, when I have to work next weekend, my man will be playing golf with his brothers and dad for his birthday. Score on timing!

Anyway, the manager person who had sent me the surprising e-mail the other day talked to me intentionally today, apologizing for how it had been shocking, that she had had no idea that we weren’t aware of the new policy, and that I had not been alone – others had responded similarly when she’d e-mailed them about the same thing. We had a great talk about it all, and I felt quite relieved at having been heard in my shock and upset and concerns. I actually agree that the policy is a good one to have – it was just not communicated to any of us workers, and it was practically the opposite of what we had always been told previously. So, there was a major ball-drop on the leadership side there. She is now working to sort that out, though, fortunately.

All-in-all, it was a positive day, and I am grateful for how lovely it all turned out to be. Thank you, God.

With the whole available shifts thing, it really felt like offerings from God to handle the situation, combined with my own stubbornness, and also standing for my own health and well-being, being my best self. I feel as though, because I never got angry or nasty, but just stood with courage, I was given the beautiful opportunity I was.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for that helicopter. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

P.S. For a birthday on a Wednesday, how soon can we give the first birthday present? Is Saturday too soon, or must we wait for Sunday, so it’s officially in the birthday week? Or Monday for the mostly European one? Or simply Wednesday????? What would you do, hmm??

Some days…

La-dee-da-dee-dah-dah la-dee-dah…

Man, some days, it just feels like the world crushes you like a bug, and then you end up thinking of that final fight scene in Men in Black, and you get totally grossed out at the idea of all those bugs being squashed and eeeewwwww-ickk-gross!

Ugh… God, please, don’t make me figure this one out – just do as you wish, and I will follow suit wholeheartedly. Your will be done fully and forever. In your name I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Trust

God, I trust you.

Today, I went to help/volunteer at a track and field meet. I verbally signed up in response to a sort of challenge back in November – something about how I didn’t have a problem with early mornings, and so didn’t think I would struggle with their schedule…, I think. I had been told (and write in my calendar and verbally confirmed) that we needed to be there at 5am to set up. Turns out, it was actually 5:30am, which is rather different so early in the morning.

My friend had asked me why I even was going, when we were watching the Olympics the night before, and I’d said I had to go to bed, even though I’d wanted to keep watching. She said that since I didn’t have to be there, then why was I even going, since I had an alternative of staying up to watch Olympics and spend time with her. I considered it, but it was only moments for me to be 100% clear that I truly wanted to go to this meet and that I felt a real calling to be there (and to be on time and do the whole thing).

And getting there too early actually worked out perfectly, because it then became a whole silly and impressive thing that I was possibly the first person ever to arrive before this one particular coach.

The day as a whole was awesome. I felt throughout my whole being that I was where I needed to be today, on every level. It was spectacular. Oh, God, thank you for this amazing blessing. I am awed by the glory of this whole experience and the love I truly was given through it today. Thank you. Amen. Please, help me to continue to have such experiences, where I can feel that I am exactly where I need to be and where I am needed, exactly when I need to be there. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Guidance

Dear God, I give it all up to you. Guide me, please, to do as you need me to do in this world. Help me to plow the path that only I can plow, in order that your love be abundant through me and my life, a beautiful expression of your love and creativity. I trust in you fully, and I let it all go tonight. Your will be done. In your name, I pray. Amen. Hallelujah.

Post-a-day 2022

(Wow… ^ almost messed it up for the third night in a row here, even though I’ve gotten it so well for a while now)

We have a…

23-19!!!! We have a 23-19!!!

But, golly, does it feel like we have such a panic sort of situation over here in my life today?

Ugh…

In short, we were approved this afternoon to move into the apartments we’ve been loving and wanting. After months of figuring things out, we finally have it sorted regarding where we get to live, my good friend and I.

Not even half an hour after that informative call to me, I was being informed by my current place that, surprise, I have to make myself scarce immediately (and my visible stuff), and I have to have everything out completely by 10 January. Absolutely not cool.

I have nowhere to store things and I have nowhere to live for six weeks, starting next week.

But I’ll figure it out. Things always work out, somehow. God and the Universe take care of their beautiful Creation, and I am part of that Creation. So, I pray that I be granted the clarity and the brainstorming needed to make this a spectacular situation, filled with love and joy and beautiful, both coming from me and coming to me. Jesus and Universe, I trust in You. Guide me clearly, please, and give me the courage I need for this, please. Amen.

Post-a-day 2021

Have a little faith?

Sometimes, life just feels like it sucks… big time… may we, in those times, let go and let God have it all. God, into your hands I commend my whole life. I want so much to happen right now and in the very near future and throughout my life. And I trust that you will give me exactly what I and the World need, exactly when we need it that way. For whatever reason, I need to face these troubles right now. Help me through them powerfully, please. I trust and I trust in you.

Amen.

Post-a-day 2021

Completion and New Beginnings

As this chapter comes to a close, God and Universe, please, guide me into the opening of the next chapter calmly, comfortably, gratefully, and wholeheartedly. May I bless the world with who I am and in all that I do, sharing fully your love with all those tied to me and this life. Help me to breathe easily in the knowledge that this all is perfect exactly as it is, and that you will use me perfectly for what only I can do and for what I am created and made to do. Please, give me the courage to do what needs most to be done, and to love truly.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Gratitude

Post-a-day 2021