Nerding

I finally looked up something that had been bugging me. You see, for the workout called “Murph” by CrossFit, something was off. CrossFit said to wear “body armor” or a “20lb weighted vest” for the workout, back when it was first announced officially.

However, the workout itself was the workout done by a man named Michael Murphy. He was a Navy Seal. (Wait for it…) And yes, David Goggins trained with and knew him. (He comes up basically every day, now, no matter that I don’t even try.) From a combination of interviews I read that were about him, I learned that he wore the Navy-issue body armor vest while doing the workout. Someone mentioned in the interview – I think it was his dad – that the vest weighed 16.4 pounds, and that Michael would finish the workout, on average, between 32 and 35 minutes. That means that he did, in just over 30 minutes, a mile run, 100 pull-ups, 200 push-ups, 300 air squats, and another mile run, all while wearing a 16.4lb vest.

But the workout says to wear a 20lb vest. What gives?

Well, I finally looked up the government-issue body armor vests, the ones that were (are?) worn by the Navy from, at least, the year 2000 through the year 2017 (possibly still now, but I didn’t delve that deep). It is called the Interceptor Multi-Threat Body Armor System (IBA).

And guess how much the total weight is. Just guess.

16.4 pounds.

It was an upgrade in lightness from its predecessor, which was 25.1lbs and went by a different name, and the latest version apparently weighs 33.1lbs.

So, under no version of this vest would Lieutenant Michael P. Murphy have had a 20lb vest. And, given the years that he was a Navy SEAL, he would have worn the 16.4lb vest. If he only wore the outer shell of it, it would have been only 8.4lbs. Those are the two options. Not 20lbs.

Anyway, I know officially now what my goal weight is for this workout: 16.4lbs in the vest.

Hashtag NerdAlert ;P

Post-a-day 2021

Oops

Rash news to follow——- you have been warned 😉

………………………

So, the rash is still around, but the tea tree oil treatments seems to be helping significantly. It is only a light pink now, and the skin is dry, with layers peeling off regularly.

That being said, I had a laser hair removal appointment today. If you recall, I first noticed the rash just before my last appointment. At that appointment, the technician certainly noticed the rash and asked about if I was okay, in pain, or whatever. This time, she asked if I still had it. We chatted briefly about the diagnosis and the of late improvements. Upon learning that the rash didn’t actually hurt in any way, and wasn’t uncomfortable physically at all, she asked how I ever noticed it in the first place. When I was shaving?

“No,” I almost snort, “not shaving.”

As I pause to consider how I, in fact, first noticed it, so many weeks ago, she has a short shock of realization strike her face, and she says, as though having realized a major blunder, “Oh…, someone told you.”

It took me only a moment, and then it clicked. And I started to laugh. She was so chastened, and yet she had no actual reason to be. She likely remembered that I have no boyfriend and have had none for many, many years. And she most certainly thought that I was looking for a way not to say that someone else, meaning a guy, had noticed it during a sexual interaction of some sort, and had informed me of the rash.

I clarified for her – not because I was embarrassed, but because I wanted her not to be – how I, on my own, had discovered the rash one night.

It was simultaneously a hilarious and adorable interaction for me, and I loved it.

Post-a-day 2021

Goggins, eh?

It seems that David Goggins is incorporated deeply into my life at this point in time. And I haven’t even finished the book. And I haven’t even done much differently than before I started the book.

He comes up in conversation just about every day, it seems. And I’m not even trying. I’m surprised every time that he’s come up again in a conversation in my daily life not at the gym.

I think I have had such an easy connection with him, because I can relate to much of his mindset. No, I haven’t had the extreme struggles that he has had in life. I haven’t attempted the crazy difficult physical and mental feats that he has. But I use a similar foundational view of my own struggles and physical ontakings, and I feel a certain sense of camaraderie with him because of that. It is as though we have known each other for years and years, at this point, such that it feels like a piece of him is almost always with me. Especially when I’m looking at something that other might consider ridiculous – he is right there with me.

And I love it and am grateful for it.

And I’ve never even met or seen the man in person, or heard his voice. I’ve only seen the cover of the book online, which has a photo of him, and the cover of another book that has the side of his face, as well as the kindle-d occasional black and white photos within the book.

And yet he seems to get me so well, we must be long-time buddies.

And I love that. That is a powerful book.

And I haven’t even finished it yet…

Post-a-day 2021

Wow

It’s funny how, when we are comfortable and confident enough just to speak openly about the things that matter to us, even when one of them might typically be considered as out of place within the current setting, those things end up being exactly what was needed to be said; those things end up being something that gives value beyond expectation to both the conversation and the relationship between those involved in said conversation.

And it’s funny how often I forget that all, and how I am alway at least a little bit surprised whenever it happens.

But it happened twice today, and beautifully so.

In the morning, I shared comfortably about my current menstruation status, and then the conversation turned into my sharing all about how accurate testing body temperature can be for knowing what is going on within a woman’s cycle…, and then I sent a whole link of information on it all to the person after the conversation, because, as it turns out, she has quite irregular cycles and is currently working towards becoming pregnant. Aka my comfort in sharing openly 1) allowed and empowered her to share openly, too, and 2) created a beautiful connection of tools for her current and future endeavors regarding something extremely important to her and her life.

Later today, after a hesitational moment to consider that I truly wanted to proceed with my next idea and comments, I ended up discovering a crazy and fun connection between me and another person at work. And then, through that connection, we found another connection, deep and intense, as I continued to share openly and comfortably and confidently. And then, once more. And it was awesome.

And that I was so entirely comfortable in all of it was awesome. I didn’t even hesitate by the time we got to the last part. It was so easy, I didn’t even have to think about whether it was safe to share about my experience of abuse, or whether it was worth sharing or whatever – I just automatically knew that it was, because of the previous connection in the conversation.

And now the two of us experience one another in an wholly new and positive and loving way. And it was completely worth the risk of sharing that atypical sharing. Totally worth the risk…

Post-a-day 2021

Ouch…

But seriously, who invented all the nonsense that goes alongside menstruation? Utter nonsense… ::facepalm

Anyway, this weekend, I saw the wife of someone I know. Though I had seen the husband many, many times, I had not seen the wife until this Saturday.

When I first saw her, it took a few moments to process fully what I was seeing. Then it took another few moments to allow for my initial reactions. And another few to crave indulging in them. And a final few to allow them just to be, and then, therefore, to release. Rather than being upset by what I saw, I knew I could have it be a positive experience – even if it took some effort.

“Body goals,” I told myself, letting it fall heavily from my lips, the initial sigh thereby dispersed. Music was playing loudly at the gym, so I had no overhearing ears. I really only could feel the words vibrate through my body, as it wasn’t loud enough for my own ears to hear over the music.

But I felt it… and in more ways than one.

After that, I kept going back and forth between awe at how amazing she was physically, and wanting to break down crying at how far away I am from that right now.

I knew pitying myself was neither necessary nor valuable, so I always let that one go. But that didn’t stop it from co to hint to pop up at intervals throughout the whole day afterward, and even the following day somewhat.

As a friend reminded me later, the wife probably wasn’t like that when they got married, and it probably took her years to get to that point. Same for the husband. (Though, he was always less intimidating or whatever, because he’s male, I suppose.) It wasn’t an overnight process for either of them, and they probably weren’t already like that when they first met one another or even got married.

That idea gives me hope… that I can find someone who is fit beautifully already and who values my own work thus far, but who will continue to grow with me and thereby support and empower me o to further-enhanced fitness throughout our future. I would continue this same road, but no longer on my own. I’d have a true partner in crime for it all. (So to speak, that is… haha)

Anyway,… there’s that ouch and the menstruation and resulting digestion ouch, and the utter exhaustion that they and all the other stress have brought for this evening.

Alas, I shall now go sleep… with an alarm every two-ish hours, of course, to use the bathroom. ::facepalm I swear…, whoever made up this nonsense must have been severely out of his wits at the time… Man

Post-a-day 2021

Baseline

I did the baseline for my fitness test today. And I was rather at my worst. It hadn’t been long enough since I had eaten, so the running portions had me wondering all throughout them if I weren’t going to hurl on the street. I started menstruating right in the middle of it all, and had to use the bathroom quickly during one of the rest times – talk about being exhausted on the first place, with all the menstruation prep that’s been going on in my body. It was mid-afternoon in Houston, Tx, right near the start of summer – temperature was 86°F with a feels like of 93°F. Plus, the entire running section had almost no coverage at all from the sun, so I was running on bright concrete in full, blazing, direct sunlight. Talk about hot. And then, I had some measuring difficulties with both runs, thinking I had reached the end of the run, then suddenly realizing I hadn’t, and having to jump back into the run to finish it. That added annoying time to both runs, which are judged by their times, by the way.

So, I was miserably tired, undigested, out in the stupid afternoon humid heat of Houston, and I messed up my measurements twice, adding time to my runs. Plus, I had an improved setup for the sit-ups, but I only have 15lb dumbbells, and, though they helped significantly in helping hold my feet in place, they moved around a whole lot more than a human’s knees and hands pinning down my feet would have done.

And yet… I still only had the push-ups as my one area that didn’t pass the test. And that already was 100% expected to be an area that didn’t pass. But all the other areas, despite my being at my worst, still passed! And, if I had gotten the bare minimum requirement for the push-ups, my scores were high enough that I would have passed the entire test.

And so, my training began this evening for my push-up preparations. I obtained coaching from the gym owner on Saturday, as to how to proceed regarding my terrible push-ups abilities. And I put those plans into action today. I need to be able to do 20 push-ups comfortably for me to be satisfied for this test, but I technically only need to move up from ten to 14 as my baseline. Nonetheless, that’s a 40% increase. And my goal is actually a 100% increase… but I know I can make it happen. The only question is a matter of how long it will take.

Also, separately, now that I have these specific fitness goals towards which to work now…, what are my financial gain goals towards which to work right now? Because those have an absolute max of three more weeks to get sorted for, at least, the next four months.

Post-a-day 2021

A touch crazy…

So, I might apply for this job. But it has a physical fitness test that is required to be passed… twice…, just to be considered for the employment.

I don’t even know if I want to work there. So, it seems a tad silly to train for this test, when I might not even want to work there. However, I’m going a touch Goggins on this one, combined with my regular attitude.

My regular view is that I can make up my mind about the job once I qualify for it fully…, which would mean I am able to pass the physical fitness test with reasonable ease, and three times. The Goggins view is that it is a worthy goal to have for myself, because it is a mental and physical training, especially considering that I don’t know if I will want the job at all. But it will be a fabulous physical feat to pass that test in the first place, and so it is a worthy goal towards which to work already, especially with all the extra effort on top of my regular rather intense exercise. Add onto it the mental effort of doing just that for a purpose that might end up being only for seeing what I am capable of doing (i.e. not even for the sake of the job).

So, it shall be a combined effort; Dyer and Goggins mindsets unite.

Let us begin.

I have already tentatively tested myself on part for the test, but I will spend time tomorrow to have a full baseline score for myself on this test. From there, I will figure out and put into place the work that needs to be done.

Post-a-day 2021

Loving from afar?

I wonder how often people think about me without my knowledge.

Not from a vanity point, but from a wondering one.

You see, I regularly think of many people I’ve known throughout my life – for their birthdays, their favorites foods, frequent comments, even locations where I have memories with them… I think of these people all throughout my year. And yet I rarely reach out to them to tell them of this, of how I think about them, am reminded of them… I think I feel that they somehow would reject me, reject this small form of love, likely due to some fear of their own. And so, rather than risk that casual dismissal of my sharing love towards them, I love them from a distance, and keep it for myself.

But it makes me wonder, now, if there are other people who might do the same with me, who might think regularly of me, and just not reach out.

Post-a-day 2021

What’s next…

I’ve been having these odd yet familiar pulls lately – familiar, because I know them well, yet odd, because they are pulling toward something that seems atypical for me and my life.

And yet, so much of my life is atypical that why not this direction, after all?? Right??

I have off and on been thinking about the government, and how two very important people in my life have suggested to me to pursue the same governmental position, though the two do not know each other, and have very different jobs from one another.

But it keeps coming to mind lately, of its own accord, this idea of working for the government…, and something still feels off about that specific position…, but not about the government part…, which is super odd.

Dave Goggins’s book has been sparking some major things within me lately. Then, I find out that my sister works for the Air Force, and I hadn’t even known she’d changed jobs (though, she worked for the Army a long time ago). A man entered the store the other day in full Army uniform, and the whole interaction was adorable and sweet (Another customer wouldn’t let him buy his own things, and purchased them for the man, who was humbled and surprised by it, repeating to the last that the other ‘didn’t have to do that.’).

Then, today, my brother and I were on a customer feedback call for this amazing watch company. I hadn’t even known until the call that it had a military connection as a company. And then I found a military special and limited edition watch they made for Veterans Day this past Fall (which my brother might get for himself to test out the watch)… and tonight, someone who works for the government told me directly that she believes I would be a great asset in a specific branch of the government… that she could really see me doing that…

I have never felt a direct call to joining the military, but I have always felt an odd sort of affinity-slash-terror for it. And I have, especially lately, been drawn to much of their training.

Perhaps this woman tonight might have the right of it… perhaps I really am a sort of in-between person for it all, and I might just love serving the world around me in a specific governmental position…

And perhaps not. But I will not know unless I step forward into it all and give it a go. Perhaps it is only a short-term thing for me. Perhaps it is a part-time thing. Perhaps it is a never thing. We certainly shall see.

I am somewhat terrified at that prospect, though. And I think that is a very good thing.

Post-a-day 2021

Brains and words

I’m listening to a news audiobook this week. In it, the narrator does hand lettering and calligraphy. At various points in the story so far, she has described how she often sees the letters of the words people say, as though they are out in front of her, and she describes to the reader the size and style and font and, even at times, movement of those words. Every time she does this, I find myself agreeing with her. Yes, I saw it that way, too…, because I had seen it that way, when the other characters had said what they had said, before the narrator had described the way she had heard and seen it. I don’t have the education regarding specific fonts that she seems to have, but I’ve done a touch of research along the way, as she mentions something of which I am not certain, and now understand exactly what she means as she describes various fonts and words. And I get it, every time.

Which made me suddenly realize that, though I can relate so easily to this character in this way, I do not believe that was necessarily the intention. That is, I think she was more meant to be a sort of artistic anomaly, one that is fascinating to the normal folk, because they are not like she is; they do not see the world of words as she does.

At the very least, however, I have a fictional comrade in seeing the words that people speak, and then, likely, at least one person in real life, be it the author or someone the author knows. So, I’m not entirely alone on this.

But it does have me wonder how many people do actually see words this way, as I and this character do. Like how some people hear smells or see sounds; like how Julie’s R is always the color purple (a girl from my program back in France, many years ago). Is this a matter of neuron pruning, like synesthesia? Is it only a small piece of the population, or are there actually millions out there?

In a way, I wonder how alone I am on this way that my brain functions…

Post-a-day 2021