Gas

Well, looks like the gas’s being out will be another few days at the least, and will cost use a minimum of a thousand dollars. Ugh. God, please, give us the strength to handle all of this with grace and ease. Thank you for my successful adapted shower tonight. Help us to eat healthily, even without our normal means of cooking. Help me to find fulfilling and paying work. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Helpless

Sometimes, I think it is important that we feel the experience of being helpless. Because, sometimes, there is no other way to make the lesson stick than for us to end up in a scenario where we feel utterly helpless, and at our own hands.

Thank you, God, for this opportunity. Please, help me to grow beautifully from it. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Distractions? Oder Directions?

*oder – (German) or

These beautiful and wonderful things keep coming up. I am grateful for each and every one of them. However, they have rather kept me from pursuing the main goal I had to pursue, now that my teaching position has ended: coding. I had set myself up for this path toward coding, and the main resource has been delayed, and I haven’t reached out yet to the secondary resource, because I’ve been so busy managing the tutoring that’s come up, along with the part-time job work and the other part-time job work and the tidying and catching up on things at home…

Have these things been coming up because they are distractions, requiring me to prove my dedication and desire to pursue this goal of coding right now? Or are they actually directions from God and the Universe, answering my prayers for clear guidance, showing me that diving fully into the coding is not what they need me to do right now?

God, help me to follow your will fully. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Okay!

Last day of teaching for this assignment has completed! Woohoo!

We had a family dinner out tonight in celebration of my completion of the assignment. Now, onward to whatever else is next! (Sure, I most certainly have some big plans in place, but there is always a nearly-surprising amount of wiggle room in there for things to go entirely differently than intended – I have learned my lesson on that very well by this point!)

Dear God, please, help me to have clarity with each step of this, and guide me to fulfill your will in all that I do. Help me to be my best self with all that I am. Thank you for this blessing of a life. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Despair

No, it isn’t poorly pronounced French, but I almost rather it were every time I encounter it. Despair is an odd one. For me, it is both kind of the worst and, in a small way, sort of the best. Sure, the bad part makes sense, but what’s this with the goodness of despair? Well, whenever I find myself in a state of despair, it is always the point at which the straw breaks the camel’s back, so to speak – it is the turning point for me. Simply by seeing the despair, by noticing and acknowledging it, I inevitably start to do something about it, and sort the whole situation out in a way that leaves me, well, being fully myself again. And isn’t that just wonderful?

So, as I said, despair is, while despairing, also gladdening for me. Thank you, God, for showing me this current state of despair. I trust wholly in my ability through your love and will to clear this up beautifully and to restore myself fully to life, better than ever, and every day showing more of the magical and astounding woman you created me to become and to be. I love you. Amen.

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Rubbing those pennies

And, sometimes, the money just isn’t there, and we have to dial back. And that’s okay. But it still hurts to know that it has been one’s own lack of financial success that is the source of the problem in the first place. And it hurts even more to know that it is affecting others whom one loves.

God, please, grant me the grace to let go of this hurt around money and financial comfort, such that I may use these experiences as support for pursuing and achieving something unimaginably better, through your will. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Prayers answered

You know the story of the man in his home as a storm hits, how the neighbors ask in a truck for him to flee with them, and he replies that God will save him? The flood waters rise, a boat comes, offers a ride, and he declines, saying God will save him. The waters rise more, a helicopter comes to him as he sits on his roof, surrounded by water, but he declines the ride. ‘God will save me.’ He then is sealed up by the waters. As he approaches the pearly gates, he asks God why God never saved him. God asks him what he thought the truck, the boat, and the helicopter were.

I felt a version of that story today, coincidentally right after having a student mention that story in class.

You see, I hit this issue with my part-time job, right? I prayed for clear guidance from God as to what to do. I needed to know if I was staying with the job, and, if so, how to go about picking up an extra shift, in order to meet the new requirements.

I felt initially like it might be to pick up a shift this weekend, today, but it had to work out just right. There was then an open invitation for 7pm to midnight work for tonight. But it just felt like too much struggle for me, staying out and up so late. It was too likely I would end up sick, as I usually have whenever I stay up and out like that.

Then a shift was available for 2pm to 7pm today… still later than I wanted. But let me think on it. It’ll still be there, if it’s meant to be. I trust you… After a bit, I decided to go ahead and go for it; suck it up and make it work. But the shift was gone. I couldn’t take it. I looked into it, and saw that no one had actually picked it up. So, I potentially could reach out to the original person and ask if she still wanted it covered… but that didn’t feel right.

Something kept pulling at me, though… there was something about today, since I was finishing at school so early. There had to be something… please?

Then, in our group message thing, I saw the most recent message from about 45 minutes beforehand. Someone had an issue arise and couldn’t go in. Could someone go in from now until 5pm?

Seriously?!

‘I could go in about an hour,’ I offered. It was true. I could handle enough work to have only a bit left to do before school Monday, and head out by noon, work until five, and get to my man not too long after he would be finishing work for the day. And it would fulfill the extra day I needed to work before the end of the month, without giving up tomorrow or a Sunday.

A manager responded, saying they would love to have me. So, I got my work handled quickly after all my classes ended, and I headed in just a few minutes after noon. I was ready to start working before 12:30, and was blown away when, halfway through the shift, a manager tells me that I’m only supposed to be there until 4:30. Even better! I love working at this place, but for four hours at a time. Beyond that, and it kind of wipes me.

So, I got home feeling really great this evening. Added bonus is that, when I have to work next weekend, my man will be playing golf with his brothers and dad for his birthday. Score on timing!

Anyway, the manager person who had sent me the surprising e-mail the other day talked to me intentionally today, apologizing for how it had been shocking, that she had had no idea that we weren’t aware of the new policy, and that I had not been alone – others had responded similarly when she’d e-mailed them about the same thing. We had a great talk about it all, and I felt quite relieved at having been heard in my shock and upset and concerns. I actually agree that the policy is a good one to have – it was just not communicated to any of us workers, and it was practically the opposite of what we had always been told previously. So, there was a major ball-drop on the leadership side there. She is now working to sort that out, though, fortunately.

All-in-all, it was a positive day, and I am grateful for how lovely it all turned out to be. Thank you, God.

With the whole available shifts thing, it really felt like offerings from God to handle the situation, combined with my own stubbornness, and also standing for my own health and well-being, being my best self. I feel as though, because I never got angry or nasty, but just stood with courage, I was given the beautiful opportunity I was.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for that helicopter. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

P.S. For a birthday on a Wednesday, how soon can we give the first birthday present? Is Saturday too soon, or must we wait for Sunday, so it’s officially in the birthday week? Or Monday for the mostly European one? Or simply Wednesday????? What would you do, hmm??

What to do…

The part-time job I’ve had almost two years has implemented a new policy – suddenly – that is likely to be troublesome. Put differently, I either have to make some big effort quickly, or I will be forced to leave the company.

I determined that I would pray about it tonight, then see how it all feels. I have been considering leaving the company most of this year, but figured I at least would stay through my two-year anniversary and the special winter discount we get to purchase things for others in late November, early December. Logic tells me that, if I was already thinking that way, I likely do not want to work for the company anymore. However, I’m not going to take the easy route of avoidance simply because it is the easiest. I shall pray about this, and then do as God guides me.

Let’s see what that shall mean, shall we?

Dear Lord, please, give me clarity as to what to do to move forward in my life, such that I pursue your will fully, being who I was made to be, my best self. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Friday night

We had a birthday dinner at Benihana for my sister-in-law tonight. We brought gifts that all were shades of purple, and the smaller ones were wrapped somewhat Japanese style, what with the wrapped item then put inside a decorative bag and tied closed, while the larger was simply wrapped in purple wrapping paper. The money was green, but it was wrapped in a cute pink Japanese gift-giving cloth. (My mom had gotten a money envelope, but I couldn’t remember the kanji that were right for birthdays or general events, so I wasn’t sure it was the right kind, and thought it actually was a wedding one…, so we didn’t use that.)

We also brought glow sticks for everyone to choose and wear. And Haribo Goldbären and Kit-Kat minis and mochi doughnuts – also wrapped in Japanese style baggies with colorful ties and stickers – were the party favors we gave everyone.

Basically, it was a silly little surprise-party-type dinner, without being an actual surprise party. Just the level of festivity was a surprise, I guess. Oh, and we also had a candle that we stuck into her ice cream when they brought that out and sang to her.

And I am exhausted right now. But that’s okay. I actually had a great time at dinner, even though it went until around 9pm, which is already late for me to be out, but especially so after this tough, tough week and the start of school.

And we’re going to a dance event tomorrow night, just for the night. I’m slightly terrified.

God, please, help me to have the energy and comfort in my body and mind to enjoy tomorrow and tomorrow night fully. Help me to help my man enjoy it all fully, please. And thank you for getting me through everything this week. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022