And then, suddenly and seemingly out of nowhere, you find yourself quoting and singing along to Disney songs with the other Americans at dinner, and you realize that you might actually be, in this moment, surrounded by friends… and all the fear and concern slips away, and you find yourself firstly delighted and secondly – and much more powerfully – filled with love for them… all of them.

And you notice that the love was always there, but it head been, in a sense, on hold, in the break room, in the green room…. it had been waiting for its cue, its invitation to join the party… it had been waiting to feel love coming onward before exploding outward with love.

And it makes you wonder what might happen if you just went ahead and loved so powerfully and fully right from the start with people, instead of worrying about a need to keep it cool, not to be so sappy or whatever….i f they then would sort out their own expressions of love toward you, and a lot sooner than usual due to the overflowing love already coming so openly at them…

Perhaps it could end up creating a whole new world of love in the relationships of your life…, and, even though it is scary to consider being so exposed and vulnerable, you find yourself genuinely considering it…

Or, maybe, is that just for me?

๐Ÿ˜‚ Love the world, and it can love you back even better than you might have imagined, Banana… ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post-a-day 2020

Still processing…

Have you ever had those things in your life that show up out of left field (when you aren’t even playing a field sport), and shock you so terribly that you can’t even seem to find a reaction?

You can see myriad ways that one might react or could react, and yet you can’t actually seem to react, yourself.

It’s like someone else’s made-up horribly terribly bad dream… but you can’t seem to find a way for it not to be so that this thing has happened…

And then, out of nowhere again, comes the desire to go talk with the person involved, in order to find out what on Earth happened… how did this ever come to be, this horrible, dreadful, awful thing?

Because maybe then you’ll be able to figure out how to react, how to respond to it all… maybe then you’ll be able to process this nightmare-you-never-even-imagined-come-true…

Have you???

As of tonight, I have. :/

Post-a-day 2020

To write love on her arms

Well, it isn’t on my arms, but it is on my hand!

I hadn’t exactly intended to put the words on my hands when I started out, but they somehow happened anywayโ€ฆ I still find it an odd place to place them, but it does well to remind me constantly, because I always see the palms of my handsโ€ฆ which I’m not sure I knew before this week, and my constantly seeing the words on my palms.

People always use the phrase of knowing someone/something “like the back of my hand,” but I never understood it fully, because I don’t know the backs of my hands very well.

But I do know my palms, it turns out… I see them all the time. ๐Ÿ˜›

Also, this: The San Jacinto Monument, marking the location of the Battle of San Jacinto, which gave Texas its independence from Mexico in 1836.

Post-a-day 2020

Bedtime, and yet

It is bedtime (and has been for hours), and yet here I sit on the floor, being silly with my phone.

To be fair, I am not wasting away myself or my mental capacity – quite the opposite.

I have been practicing and studying Italian.

I’m one of the people on this planet who genuinely aim to use the genius cell phone technology to improve myself, and not simply to send a million bad photos to semi-close friends all day (and night) long.

So, rather than go to bed, I first sat listening to my latest audiobook (with the excuse that I was waiting for photos to load to my computer from my camera, but I sat long after the computer was already put away), then finally showered when my phone died; returned to my phone for some Italian practice and a jumpstart back into the game for my Duolingo learning league of the week; and then finally hit the point of declaring a need to go to bed, and so am placing my last few open-eyes moments here, writing this.

Op!… looks like we’ve lost one: only the right eye is fully open anymore… and the left is sagging below halfway…

Oop!… the right one just did a temporary slip, and they both closed briefly.

Now it is really time to get to bed, and not just to sit on the floor at the end of it, wearing my jumbo-knit (hand-made by yours truly) green blanket like a heavy Mardi Gras parade cape, considering whether I want to put on a sweater…

Oh, the silliness of sleepiness… ๐Ÿ˜›

Goodnight!

(Or, better yet: Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!) โค

Post-a-day 2020

Mister, Mister

I didn’t know him personally.

I didn’t really follow his career.

I’m not sure I ever even saw him in person.

Yet he was close to my heart, dear to me.

And my heart aches with surprising pains.

He was a constant in my life.

And constancy is wonderful in a world of ups and downs.

Kind of like the Eiffel Tower, or Canada – whether I visit them or not, I can always know that they are there, being the lovely things that they are, and people will share with me about them from time to time, their names popping round regularly, as though just to say, “Hi.”

That’s he he has been in my life.

As my dad pointed out, he was an up and coming name when I was first beginning to know and understand the existence of professional sports and the NBA…, so he really has been a constant for almost my entire life.

No, he wasn’t quite to the level of constancy as Hakeem Olajuwon or Michael Jordan or Shaquille O’Neal, but he arrived to the scene only shortly after I had learned to love them, and so he holds a similar place in my life.

Like I said, he has been a constant for me.

He simultaneously seems so old, because he had already retired from playing a few years ago (2016?), yet so young, because he is only 41 years old (I believe he was drafted at only 18 years old).

His story has been magical, and his playing was beautiful.

And, just saying, his smile has always been spectacular.

God, thank you for the glorious gift that has been Kobe Bryant to our world.

Thank you for all you’ve done, Mr. Kobe Bryant.

โค

Post-a-day 2020

Love Reading

It turns out that, when I really love a book, I can get through it in two days.

And that’s without necessarily changing around my life almost at all – I just read it during every single spare moment, and I stretch a little longer and go for an extra walk, just to be sure I get my reading in, but get to feel extra productive while doing it.

(Because reading isn’t productive enough itself, apparently… my cousin happens to be the same way, too, and we are both working on it.)

And man, did I love this book.

The only down side is that I thought the second book in the series would be a continuation of it…, but it turns out that the book is just another story altogether, only it is written and put together in a similar style as the first (i.e. it is also about young love being discovered in a lovely foreign land).

So, bummer that the story I love won’t continue, but yay that I have another story that I am almost guaranteed to love. (Because sequels risk being total bummers, but separate sequentially-written novels by the same author tend to be delightful more often… in my experience, anyway.)

Anyway, since that is the case, I don’t need to stay up late to listen to more of the story… I am not so invested in this new story yet, so I can just go to sleep instead.

So, yay for that. ;D

Post-a-day 2020

Okay, I think I need to go to Italy.

At this point, the only thing left would be for someone to meet me and offer me a place to stay in Italy, in order for my trip to be made certain.

(That, or someone offering me passage to Italy…, though I had kind of planned on managing that one myself, I don’t mind letting someone else handle it… again…[I just remembered that I actually did have a free trip to Italy that one time I went for a long weekend…yes… anyway…])

Italy just keeps popping up around me: in conversations unbidden, in my calendar (it is a page-a-day with Italian phrases and culture, and it genuinely was the only one on Amazon that seemed even remotely interesting… I mean seriously, Amazon?), in a whole handful of conversation partners reaching out, in comments from others, and even in the book I spontaneously started reading today (It’s the first in a series and it has “gelato” in the title, but the second book has nothing Italian about the title, and that‘s the one that got me interested in reading the series!), where the girl up and moves to Italy from the US… I mean…. wow… the world really wants Italia to be on my mind right now.

And so, I am letting it.

I am embracing all the Italia I can, and am beginning to look for more around me.

I have a friend to whom I plan to reach out (not in the middle of the night) about finding a conversation partner/tutor here in town, I have begun a challenge on Duolingo, I am reaching out to the online conversation partner offers, and I have a whole plan for how to practice my Italian.

What’s funny is that, whenever I ask the whole “Why now?” to the world, though I get no distinct answer, I suddenly start thinking of what it might be like there, and I think of all the Italian men, and I suddenly have an almost overwhelming thought of, “Well, I can probably handle the Italian men now,” and I suddenly have my answer.

I just wasn’t ready for Italian men before.

Now, I actually am ready to take them on and run my own way.

If you don’t know anything about Italian men, I don’t have the words to teach you much about them, nor can I fully speak on them, for I have not truly spent time with them in Italy.

However, everything I have been told about them from others has proven exactly true with the Italian men I’ve come to know here… even just the Italian heritage ones… oof… anyway.

So, now, I think I’m about ready to take them on, and, by the time I actually get there, I’ll have had enough mental prep (and physical prep from the gym) to take them with a grain of salt, and to smile about it. ๐Ÿ˜‰

This is going to be fun and absolutely amazing – I can feel it in the humidity around me… yes…

Italia awaits… me. ๐Ÿ˜€

P.S. And I don’t mean just for a short visit – we’re talking a month plus here…. just FYI.

Post-a-day 2020