80s Day

In the shop today, they had a theme of “80s workout”. Suffice it to say that I was best-dressed, and by far. And I only just threw something casual together last night. I had worried that I would be crushed by the competition, considering what pieces would make amazing 80s workout outfits, leotards included. Clearly, however, that was not a problem. 😛

I even lent my whistle to one girl who went for an 80s/early 90s gym coach look. It was super cute and the whistle definitely completed the outfit. But, aside from her, no one else had dressed to the theme with much success.

So, I might have just looked a little ridiculous and like an 80s-loving hipster, but at least I actually am an 80s-loving hipster.

Post-a-day 2021

Reminders and Surprises

I think we are given exactly what we need, exactly when we need it in life.

I have not recently been earning loads of money. I began this week a short-term teaching position that pays much higher than my recent earnings. I was looking forward to getting a few things handled, financially during this time working here, earning more money. I also am prepping for some really fun new work to begin once this teaching position finishes this Fall.

However, I had a chunk of a filling – a filling that never should have been replaced, was replaced poorly, and has been falling apart ever since – fall out the other day, to the point that it must be fixed now, as I cannot bite effectively anything at all with any front teeth. I called the old dentist and asked if they would do anything about the filling. After an extremely frustrating telephone call, I thanked the office person, and evaluated my options. I needed to find a new dentist.

I almost immediately called the dentist who was recommended to me by a dentist buddy of mine (who lives out of town), and whose website I had rather liked. Of course, I hadn’t let all the frustration release yet from the first phone call, and so was practically sobbing as I chocked out my explanation of why I was calling their office. The office girl was wonderful, though, in all ways, and even got me an appointment for that afternoon. Suffice it to say that everything about this dentist’s office felt right. I signed up for the yearly dental cleaning etc. plan with him, and have a cleaning and check-up scheduled for next week.

The repairs on my teeth, however? He definitely listened to me and heard me in everything. He seems genuinely to care about my situation, rather than as though it is just a job. He does dentistry, because it helps make a positive difference in real people’s lives almost every day. So, the plan for fixing my teeth to the full way I want them to be long-term is just over eleven hundred dollars. And, from comparing prices elsewhere, that’s actually quite a decent price, since he’ll be doing teeth whitening with it. (Because, let’s be real here: I want beautiful, straight, white teeth. I’ve got the straight part finally, and they’re white-er, but not all the way to where I want them. And the fillings [both front teeth need them] are part of the beautiful aspect.) However, it is still $1100.

But maybe I can handle that, especially with the 6-month payment plan option.

However, something large and loud hit my windshield on the highway. I was shaking afterward, it had been so terrifying, and the crack so loud. The windshield insurance I had purchased took days to get back to me, at which point the crack had spread. They said they wouldn’t do anything for such a crack, as it was longer than only a few inches…. ‘So, what is the point of your windshield insurance? It would cost less to get a chip filled anywhere, than the fee I pay monthly for your nonsense insurance…. What are you actually insuring???’ And so, when I went to a glass repair shop today, they said the crack had now expanded too much for safety, and that they would not even plug it to stop it from running further…, but they would have done so, had I not waited on the response from the insurance place, and the crack hadn’t grown so much… UGH…

So, how much does the replacement cost? Oh, a thousand dollars. Because the car is too new.

I pray to God that the manufacturer’s warranty or something will cover some part of this replacement. I have an appointment with the dealership tomorrow morning. (They give shuttle rides from the dealership via Uber, but won’t give return rides. So, you can drop off your car to them, but you can never get it back…) This way, though, since I have an appointment, they can handle the other problems I’ve had with the car lately, of which I had to get videos, in order to prove I wasn’t making up the problems. But I have the videos now…

So, we’ll see how that all goes…

Anyway, so all of this is happening, right?

I go to a resale shop, meeting my mom there, to find some work pants for me. Yes, fitness is great, but not fitting into the only business work clothes I have is not great. So, I need new work pants…. aka more money needed to be spent… ugh…

We find nothing, and that’s okay. I trust the World and God.

As I am leaving, I am presented with a situation that reminds me of the value and importance of commitment, intention, and just going for it, no matter how odd or uncomfortable it may be socially or emotionally – when it is what needs to happen, just do it. That is how we help make the world a better place, step by step, day by day, interaction by interaction, person by person.

And all of my monetary frustrations, though they did not disappear, suddenly were not so important as they had seemed. No, I don’t know how I will manage all of this yet. But that “yet” is what makes all the difference. At some point, I will manage it all. I trust that, as I believe in myself and my life and the world around me. I am not here to suffer, but to make a positive difference in the world through being my whole, fully self-expressed self.

And so that is exactly what I shall do. I am nervous, but also calm now. I can only do what I can do, and stressing about something serves no one.

Post-a-day 2021

Unexpected feedback

I go to the workout today. We start with a warm-up, then move into strength. The strength work is squats, and then supersets of 60 seconds of plank and then 60 seconds of continuous Good Mornings.

I am doing the Good Mornings. My shirt was discarded a while ago. The coach (and gym owner) corrected my stance a bit at my first round of Good Mornings. Everyone is in different places around the gym, working on whatever part where they each are.

The coach comes walking up to me, doing his sideways stance, head dropped slightly, as though conspiratorially – his usual stance when speaking so that only the one person receives the information.

“I’m gonna say somethin‘…,” he begins. I am immediately nervous. What did I do wrong? Am I doing wrong? “…I don’t want you to take it the wrong way…”

Shit. I messed up somehow. What did I do wrong? Is it about my not wearing a shirt? Is it too much? Wait… other girls go shirtless, too…, though I can’t recall who at present…, but some do, I’m sure of it… maybe that I’m not pushing hard enough to have ditched the shirt, so it’s just too soon isn’t he workout to be in just the sports bra up top…?

What??” I say more than ask, resignedly, looking at him sidelong, my face set in obvious trepidation.

He looks me in the eye, and then says, calmly and gently, and completely genuinely, “Your butt…” He makes a sign with his hand, pressing the first finger and thumb gently together, extending the others outward. It is the sign that is common for describing something, usually food, as ‘perfection’. He makes a corresponding shape with his lips, and tilts his head slightly to the side in the same motion.

My eyes gape. “REALLY???” I ask him, like a kid who’s just been told that Santa Claus wants to meet him.

He nods, reaffirming the hand motion and head tip.

Tears are almost instantly at my eyes. “You’re gonna make me cry!” I declare, eyes brimming.

He tells me not to cry, that I shouldn’t be upset – it’s something to be happy about. I tell him that I am extremely happy and that they are tears of joy and gratitude. He understands and believes my obvious honesty.

“I tell people, ‘I made that,’” he then says.

I laugh and immediately declare, “You did!… You totally did.”

After class, I thanked him for having shared with me. I have worked very hard, in many ways more than just physically these past two years. The past six months have been a near explosion of finally seeing and experiencing some of the goals I have had my entire life, regarding my physical fitness. Some of them were even just dreams, not goals. Yet they realized nonetheless. And, basically, all of it was made possible because of him and his training and coaching and support. Yes, I put forth the effort, but he provided the tools and guidance and support for almost all of the physical stuff, and a good chunk of the mental stuff, too. (He’s also the one who turned me on to Goggins, by the way.)

He also happens to be one of the fittest and, truly, sexiest people I have ever known. (No, no Eros attraction to worry about. I am merely describing his physical appearance here.) And I know how hard he works for that fitness for himself.

And he, of all people, complimented my buttocks. And not just any compliment, either. It was a You say it best, when you say nothing at all, silently communicated “perfection” compliment. He thinks my but is perfection. Sh** all else, if that is not one of the greatest and most powerful compliments one could receive regarding efforts like I have made. (Haha. I know, it’s a terrible phrase.) He knows how hard I have worked, and he helped me to see a success today that I had not known that I had.

Afterward, I took a photo from the side, just standing normally. And, wow…, I agree with him. It looks like a butt model for pants, the photo.

I have extremely high expectations for myself. It was valuable beyond compare today for me to hear such feedback from such a knowledgeable person on the situation. I have been frustrated a lot about my struggles and failures elsewhere on my body and in my performance lately. And so, it was nice to have a stellar success pointed out to me, and by someone whose opinion I cannot disregard (even if I’d wanted to do so).

Thank you, gym. Thank you, owner. Thank you, butt. And thank you, God, for this beautiful combination for my life. Thank you, all.

Post-a-day 2021

Discoveries

Yup. As expected from years ago, reading the Shopaholic books, I love personal styling/shopping and fit sessions.

I took my sister into a store today, knowing all the details of all the stuff, and had a blast pulling things for her to try and test, and helping her find exactly what she would love using and what would support her needs. It was awesome.

It has me wonder even more so, if there could be something further with that idea of empowering people to be their best selves… work wise, I mean. That is good for my thought for the next while, I do believe. It was touching here and there for a while, but this might be the night hat it upgrades in my mind for deeper perusal and consideration.

A world full of people being their best selves would be a spectacular place to live.

Post-a-day 2021

Tuesdays for me

I am a boss at getting the silliest of things wrong and just rolling with it, even totally embracing it despite (or because of?) the error. For example, I thought the song lyrics were, “Let’s go out into the night; no regrets, just love.” As I sang that while walking with a friend down a hallway one day, he commented on ‘Aww, how cute. Hannah editing the song to make it more appropriate to sing out loud.’ We then discovered that, no, I had not been editing to make it a PG song – I had genuinely thought those were the lyrics. Though I learned the actual lyrics then and there, I have, to this day, years later, stuck to my version. I just liked it better, anyway, plus, it was hilarious that I had heard something so utterly PG in the first place.

Tonight, as I mentioned that I could wear my new pink taffy pants, as I call them, tomorrow, because, “On Tuesdays, we wear pink,” a friend commented, after I clarified that it wasn’t actually a thing, but was just “the royal ‘we'” who wore pink on Tuesdays, she said, ‘Isn’t it Wednesdays?’ I told her that I wouldn’t be at all surprised if it were. Tuesday is what had stuck in my head for some reason, – though I remember October third easily enough – probably because it rolls off the tongue more fluidly, really. I looked it up a bit later for verification, and, yes, it was Wednesdays. However, I determined that I am fully happy to continue with my Tuesdays, because 1) I’ve already been doing it for so long, and 2) obviously no one else would be doing it, so it gets to be my own absurd little trend – I get to be a part while also doing it my own way, both while being totally ridiculous in the first place. After all, who uses a quote from a movie to determine what to wear every Tuesday?

I do. That’s who. 😛

Post-a-day 2021

^Yes! Easy!

Whew

Well, today definitely had a lot of stress in it for me. I had a wonderful morning that included a workout, an awesome coffee smoothie, great breakfast and a wonderful walk with my dad, and misty weather. But a lot of my tidying work today weighed on me. I kept having to re-center myself and have myself stay present to the task at hand, and not get overwhelmed by how much more there still is to do. I had to do that over and over and over again today, I was getting so nervous and stressed. I think it was a bit of a shock, when I realized that today is already the ninth of the month. I want to have all of this done by my birthday at the end of the month. However, I intend to stay at a beach house not here beginning on the Tuesday before my birthday, the 23rd. So, that means that today’s having been the ninth of the month is significantly more significant than it would have been if I were going to be home that whole week. So, that kept getting to me today.

However, I got everything folded and put in temporary location storage, except for my few jackets that need to be folded. I put my shoes away, and they look amazing. I have some reading from the secondary book to do tomorrow morning, as I move into the book category of tidying. (I know, that seems an odd sentence, but it is accurate! Haha)

I am a little nervous about the book category, because of my Japanese books… I haven’t gone through them since moving back from Japan, and I’m nervous to let any of them go…, But, after having read from the main book for the tidying tonight, I feel much more confident about it, and I believe I will be comfortable letting some of them go.

Only tomorrow shall tell, though! Fingers crossed!

Post-a-day 2021

^Phew! Just barely!

Clothes tidying

Wow! So much happened today with tidying up. I’ve finished going through all of my tops – shirts, sweaters, jackets, sweatshirts, etc. – and bottoms – pants, shorts, leggings, skirts; and all of my dresses and skirts. It turns out that I really like wearing light blue… and I mean really like wearing it. Probably because of my eyes, I feel amazing every time I see myself in a mirror with medium and light blue clothing. It also turns out that a massive portion of my clothing is athleticwear… maybe about a quarter of it. And that is in terms of physical space. If we counted actual items, I probably have almost as many pieces in athleticwear as I have in shirts, bottoms, sweaters, and jackets combined.

To be fair, though, I do exercise a lot, and go do athletic-y things a lot.

Anyway, there are a handful of trash bags with clothes to be donated downstairs now. Perhaps there were five of them? And that’s folded clothing, not just heaped in in a messy pile…

I still have my Indian outfits and all the small things – belts, scarves, socks, etc. – to do tomorrow. If I can get through all of them, though, I’ll be finished with sorting the clothing category. And that would be super exciting. 😀

I would like to make hat happen tomorrow. However, I also have two tutoring sessions, maybe three, and one needs a bit of extra prep before I go into it. I also want to make a quick trip to Ikea to check out a particular bedspread. I have my regular and my warm sheets now, so I want to be ready with the comforter/bedspread as soon as I get rid of the old sheets and move to the new ones I love. (Not sure yet where linens lie on the list of tidying.)

Anyway, I’m wiped – if that all weren’t already enough, my body is also menstruating, which always seems to take so much effort, even an easy day seems like I worked hard the whole time. I’ve a touch of a headache, so Imma drink some more water and get to sleep ASAP.

Goodnight, folks. 😉

Post-a-day 2021

^I didn’t mess it up this time 🙂

Wow

Today went much more efficiently than yesterday on the tidying process front. I actually accomplished everything I’d planned for the day. I didn’t do the stretch, and that’s okay. I did accomplish some other tasks that have been avoided for a long time, though. That was awesome. Part of those was going to Target to get a few specific things. In doing my vision board the other day, I discovered that I truly do not want to keep my bed comforters. They are lovely and they have been sources of support and comfort for me for many years. And they do not fill me with joy. Not at all, actually. They make me feel safe like a child. But they make me feel like a child, and not like myself.

So, I looked around intentionally and carefully at some comforters and bedspreads today while at Target, and I got a very good feel for what I am wanting for my own bed now. While looking, I discovered a set of sheets that were just a Wow. moment for me. I thought about it, and I realized that I actually don’t want to keep most of my current sheets (also childhood ones).

— You see, I had a full-sized bed that I had purchased, and lovely sheets and a mattress and all several years ago, when I had been teaching in Houston. But, when I moved to work in Japan, I gave that all up. Because I had bought a set of sheets for winter in Japan, on my visit back to Houston for my step-brother’s wedding, those sheets still belong to me. However, when I returned from Japan to Houston, I was living at my mom’s house for the first while, in a tiny room, surrounded by the boxes of everything that belonged to me (with a handful of exceptions due to my boxes being in the attic or garage). My mom had kept the two twin mattresses when she had gotten rid of the bunk beds a long time ago. So, she had stacked these two mattresses on top of one another, and that was my bed for months. Fun fact: They were about as old as I was. (And so were some of the sheets. The ones I used most, though, were one that I had gotten only fourteen years beforehand.) So, that wasn’t super comfy. I came across this twin bed set at Ikea with a friend one day that could be placed side-by-side as a queen(?) or stacked as a single twin bed with a hidden extra mattress underneath (not bunk beds, but one normal twin bed height). My mom was going to get that set, but then told me to go ahead and pick out a mattress that I wanted to use, too. So, she donated the two old mattresses, and I upgraded to an awesome twin mattress with a bed frame. When I moved out, my mom told me to take the bed with me. Thus the reason I have a twin bed with sheets from my childhood.—

So, I went ahead and purchased the sheets. They met all of my criteria, and they absolutely delighted me. I even did a little jiggle about them. When I got home, I went and washed and dried them almost right away. That’s huge for me, by the way.

Now, they are folded lovingly, awaiting my future bedspread/comforter. Hopefully that all will happen in the next week or so!

For tomorrow, though, I must do some more reading, and then, hopefully, go through the thigh-high mound of stacked shirts and tops. It was difficult today not to go ahead and pull out so many things that I know I don’t want to keep. But I will follow this process properly now, and all the way through.

At that, I bid you a lovely night! 😉

Post-a-day 2021

^Only slightly had to think about it this time 😉

Slightly a mess

I don’t do well with “storing things”. Winter sweaters or not-so-often-used items that usually are stored away, perhaps in a closet or the back of a shelf, usually end up staying in the back of that closet or shelf for me. Even when I need them, want them, the hassle of pulling them out and finding a new, daily use spot for them is usually too great for me to make the effort. Plus, I tend to forget about them. I meander around my clothes, bummed and uncomprehending why I cannot seem to find clothes that I love for the current weather. I notice that I need the heavy sweater as I am on my way out. at that point in time, I am ready to leave, and do not mentally or physically want to spend the time to pull out the big sweaters. So, I find the easiest-to-reach one that will get me by in the day, and head out the door. If I remember later – and that’s a big “if” – when I am back home and not busy, I might rearrange to put the heavy sweater box into an easily accessed spot. But it usually takes me a couple months of needing them consistently to do that.

I know, I know: it is rather ridiculous. But I’m not doing it intentionally, necessarily. It kind of just happens that way, and I am noticing it right now as I contemplate why I never seem to wear all my cool sweaters in Fall and Winter (aside from the fact that our temperatures change constantly from cold to hot to cool, even on a single day, here in Houston).

But I also notice it with other things. If my guitar is in a case, I will pull it out rarely. If it is sitting out on a stand, I will grab it and play it regularly, and often. Basically, I guess I just use what is out, easily accessed. If it is put away or hard to reach, I tend not to use it unless using it is a necessity.

Keeping that in mind, I think a sort of room organization overhaul is coming soon…

Especially considering that I will be getting back an awesome chair and ottoman that I had lent to my cousin year ago, when I moved to Japan for a while. I would like to have a functional space that includes the chair and ottoman, anyway, so some rearranging needs to happen for that already. And the sewing machine and its table… forgot about that again… haha

Post-a-day 2020

Stuff… and stuff

I am thinking that, so long as I aim to fulfill any specific desire with anything other than exactly what I want, I will end up with much more than I want filling the space around me – both energetically and physically – and I will be forever unsatisfied in that desire.

That’s part of why trying to fit the bill for a part just never works out for the best. It might feel good for a while, but it eventually catches up with me, and I feel somewhat miserable until I sort things out back to being fully true to myself and who I am and who I want to be.

Yeah… thoughts for bed tonight… 😉

Post-a-day 2020