Growth

I think it show immense growth that I can simultaneously have a touch of trepidation at the idea of receiving feedback from someone on a song I created, and also comfortable consideration of that personโ€™s ideas, without panic or a feeling of defensiveness. I would have been both in the past, I have very little doubt. Now, however, I see that I can accept the offerings for what they are – offerings for improvement -, and then evaluate them genuinely, and either accept or reject them based on what I truly want for the song, separate from any feelings of not being good enough, or anything else like that.

It feels odd, but the comfort of it is surprisingly wonderful.

Post-a-day 2021

Songs

So, I wrote these songs. I like them. As it turns out, I am now entirely clear that I want to turn them into real songs, so to speak. I want a full instrumentation on them, and a great recording quality. I want them to be like any other song I might play off of a phone or computer or sound system. I want them to be real songs. How bizarre is that? I thought that was for the select few in the worldโ€ฆ
I actively want to work on them and improve them wholly. And I can see that I truly will do all of that.
How truly bizzare… and that it feels so utterly casual, normal for me. Perhaps this is a perfect example of my cousinโ€™s point as to whether I even knew what normal was. ๐Ÿ˜›
Post-a-day 2021

Music

I wrote another song this week. I was hesitant to share it with the public, as my opinions are not exactly the most vocally common… However, I felt that it was the piece of love that I needed to share with the world right now, and so I sucked it up, let it all go, and shared the song. The following is all I said with it.

โ€œI was deeply distraught regarding many, many experiences, both firsthand and secondhand, recently, and I finally started to write about it on Sunday. My frustrations came out in verse, as has been common for years for me. As I wrote them, I was able to release them, and was left, instead of with despair, with the hope of stepping into something of value and filled with love. These words were what was left filling the page, and _________ asked for some ukuleleโ€ฆ So, here we have another ukulele song! ;)โ€

Post-a-day 2021

Making music

I started writing another song last night. It was initially to help me organize and express some thoughts around the work situation within my life so far – how it isnโ€™t exactly consistent in terms of title or finances, but it is always part of being my true self and being committed to making a positive difference in this world. But an unexpected line showed up right at the end of the session last night, and it was clearly part of the chorus. It was a line about listening to the angels around me. And it made sense, but seemed almost out of place for the content so far in the song…

Until today, that is. Today, for whatever reason, a deeper fullness arose for the song. My mom and I discussed the situation with my Opa, how he is dying, and how he might finish that process in the very near future. It is an uncomfortable thought, itself, but we both are ready to allow what needs to happen next in the situation. At least, as ready as we know how to be…

However, after she and I discussed their things for a while, and then got off the phone, I started working on the song again, as I had just begun before our phone call (I think I had, anyway). As I got reacquainted with what Iโ€™d written so far, I started feeling what ideas needed to come next. I was reminded of the encouragement my Opa had given me one day, and felt immediately that it was perfect to use for the song, as it expressed what I was wanting to express… and then the idea fleshed out a bit…, and, without realizing it, the song had a deeper meaning.

Not only am I listening to the angels around me, having them call me forward in life, but a new one has just joined them, and he has given me further encouragement to follow this path I am forging in my life. Every time I sang that part of the song, I could barely get words out by the middle of the verse, and had to stop altogether for the tears and emotion that arose. And I think the words communicate beautifully in the song, even without someoneโ€™s knowing the whole situation.

Anyway, I look forward to finishing that song, but, boy, is it going to be a tough one, emotionally speaking.

Post-a-day 2021

Tuesdays for me

I am a boss at getting the silliest of things wrong and just rolling with it, even totally embracing it despite (or because of?) the error. For example, I thought the song lyrics were, “Let’s go out into the night; no regrets, just love.” As I sang that while walking with a friend down a hallway one day, he commented on ‘Aww, how cute. Hannah editing the song to make it more appropriate to sing out loud.’ We then discovered that, no, I had not been editing to make it a PG song – I had genuinely thought those were the lyrics. Though I learned the actual lyrics then and there, I have, to this day, years later, stuck to my version. I just liked it better, anyway, plus, it was hilarious that I had heard something so utterly PG in the first place.

Tonight, as I mentioned that I could wear my new pink taffy pants, as I call them, tomorrow, because, “On Tuesdays, we wear pink,” a friend commented, after I clarified that it wasn’t actually a thing, but was just “the royal ‘we'” who wore pink on Tuesdays, she said, ‘Isn’t it Wednesdays?’ I told her that I wouldn’t be at all surprised if it were. Tuesday is what had stuck in my head for some reason, – though I remember October third easily enough – probably because it rolls off the tongue more fluidly, really. I looked it up a bit later for verification, and, yes, it was Wednesdays. However, I determined that I am fully happy to continue with my Tuesdays, because 1) I’ve already been doing it for so long, and 2) obviously no one else would be doing it, so it gets to be my own absurd little trend – I get to be a part while also doing it my own way, both while being totally ridiculous in the first place. After all, who uses a quote from a movie to determine what to wear every Tuesday?

I do. That’s who. ๐Ÿ˜›

Post-a-day 2021

^Yes! Easy!

A Musical Goodnight

Okay. So, that second song seems to be created now. I likely will make tiny tweaks as I prepare to record it for real – well, more for real – but I like it as it is, and I am very happy with it. I need to go back and listen to another song I did, so I can make sure they donโ€™t sound too similar. At least not unnecessarily similar. Iโ€™m fine that they be similar as single-instrument and voice songs – I only know about two strumming patterns after all, and both of these songs are slow songs, so variation is minimal on the instrumental front. However, I want them to be two exclusive songs. So, I need to do a touch of checking and editing on singing notes and phrases.

After that, though, I will upgrade from my casual, โ€˜Just get it all down,โ€™ recording on my phone to a more official recording of how the song really goes, all the way through.

For now, I shall rest briefly and, hopefully, quite well before the early morning workout that is to come in only a few hours.

Goodnight for now, World. Hasta la dark before sunrise, baby. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post-a-day 2021

^Baller

Mystery music with unexpected friends

I recently made a new friendship with someone. We got along like friends the first moment we interacted with one another. When we first spent time together, not long after that first meeting, I discovered that she, too, rarely arranged to spend time with people unless she really likes them, and feels they are genuine with themselves.

She and I have been in touch via phone, both message and conversation, off and on, and have attended yoga together, and seen one another in passing since then. For several weeks now, almost since the first time we were arranging to spend time together, I have had this pull, this desire, to create a song with her. I donโ€™t know what it is about her, but it just keeps coming up that we need to write a song, possibly songs, together. And so, rather than casually mention it, I told her about how this idea keeps coming up, and I asked for her thoughts – would she create a song with me?

Her reply was that, though she โ€˜canโ€™t sing to save her life,โ€™ she would create a song with me, Hannah Banana. ๐Ÿ˜›

And so we shall begin this song pull, now. I am quite excited. I think and I feel that something huge and beautiful will come of this.

Post-a-day 2021

^ Still got it wrong at first, but caught it before saving!

Music in the night

Last night, instead of going to bed at approximately 20:30, which I was genuinely delighted to do and which I genuinely wanted to do, I got pulled into an approximate two-hour sidetracking by a song. Obviously, I ventured into this sidetracking of my own free will. However, it was because a musician acquaintance shared a song alongside a high recommendation…, so I felt a strong desire to check it out before I forgot all about it and the recommendation (via an Instagram story) expired in the morning.

I did not and still do not regret this reasoning of mine. That song was and is a-mazing. And I found a couple others I loved right away, adding the artist to my list of things to pursue in further detail in the near future.

And so, I can strongly recommend a tentative look into the music of Cory Fry, specifically the songs “Photograph”, “Flying”, “Pictures of Mountains” (oh, my goodness in this one…), and “Symphony”. Once I have my full sit-down with him on Spotify, I am likely to have loads more, but those are the three for now!

With that, I bid you a lovely night and restful sleep. ๐Ÿ˜‰

P.S. I am listening to some of that Spotify station now…, and I have a hunch that I am seriously going to love his Christmas album… so, there’s that, too. ๐Ÿ˜‚

Post-a-day 2020

โ€œI Trust In Youโ€

I was at an artist retreat this weekend with my mom, out in the forest North of Houston. I wasnโ€™t in the sessions themselves (my mom was), but was still part of the activities for the families who accompanied the artists on this Catholic outdoor camping and hiking adventure. I listened to what was said, my conscious and sub-conscious absorbed the words and the themes that surrounded us all throughout this retreat, and, yesterday afternoon, I produced this song while sitting on a yoga mat in the grass after a rough and glorious hike. It wasnโ€™t intentional to have such obvious connections – thatโ€™s the sub-conscious managing things here – but the irony of it all is that I wrote a song based unintentionally around the phrase โ€œI trust in youโ€, while at The Divine Mercy Retreat Center. (If you donโ€™t get the irony, look up The Divine Mercy painting images.)

Whatever your beliefs and followings, I hope you find love and joy in this song. ๐Ÿ˜‰ โœจ๐Ÿ’—๐ŸŽจโšก๏ธ๐Ÿ•‰๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’ซ๐Ÿ“ฟ๐Ÿง˜๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธโค๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ™๐Ÿช ๐Ÿคธ๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒป

๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ”๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘

๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘

P.S. To hear the song, it seems you have to go to the Instagram post, since I can only attach photos in here.

Campfire Music

Tonight, around a campfire, a semi-eclectic crowd of Catholic artists listened as I and a lovely younger girl Claudette performed on our ukuleles together. We had never met before this night, and only met because I agreed to bring out my ukulele to ‘give an alternate perspective’ for the typical campfire Christian guitar songs (and we had three guitars working together already), and, as I went up to play, someone mentioned having seen a ukulele with someone else a while ago. The guitar guys convinced her to pull out hers with me, and come play. No one had any idea I was about to play a German song that none of them were likely to know, but I figured we could roll with it – if the girl pulled out her uke so easily (though it wasn’t out of the case yet, and she was carrying a binder, too, so she had some hesitation hat likely was nerves), she must be able to play at least the basic chords, if not a great amount.

So, I showed her the song and we tuned her up and went through it quickly together quietly, and then someone actually made an announcement for everyone to listen to us play. I pointed out that Claudette was reading a language she didn’t understand for this, so please be very proud of how well she plays along, because that is not an easy thing to do…, and then we played. We made mistakes, and it still sounded awesome.

Then, because people just seem to do this, the guitar guys requested Iz’s “Over the Rainbow”, which both of us have but never play. It’s kind of a hassle simply due to the range going so low for the singing…, which we both proved to everyone while we fumbled through it together, laughing kind of often as we went. Afterward, we actually played a couple other songs well, and enjoyed them greatly. The other folks enjoyed them, too.

One of them was the first song in her notebook, “La Vie en Rose”, and, since her version was in English, we had her sing in through once off the paper, and then I sang it through once in French… which totally shocked the listeners, and was a way fun surprise. (By the way, I feel like I am sharing as though I am a middle or high schooler or something… :P) What was extra fun was the part where I suddenly realized that I genuinely have no idea what the very last line is, and so I simply shrugged just before it, and then sang, “Je ne sais pas les mots, mais c’est bon,” which translates to, “I do not know the words, but it’s okay.” Obviously, no one had any idea that I had made up that line. ๐Ÿ˜›

And we finished off with two collaborations with the guitar guys. The first was a semi-four chord song, so, since I couldn’t see the paper (remember, there are here guitar guys and then two of us), I just watched Claudette’s fingers to know which of the four chords was happening when out of sequence. It went surprisingly well for me… it was really cool. On the second song, the paper was on our side of the notebook, so I could see it for myself. And it was one of my favorite old songs from Church, about Samuel, who was Hannah’s child. But I liked the song long before I ever learned that connection… like a solid decade beforehand. Anyway, two guys claimed the first two versus, and said we all would sing the bird verse together (and choruses, of course). But, during the second round of the chorus, I was told/offered to sing the third verse myself. So, I did. And, halfway through, because the versus were rather long, I told Claudette to sing with me. And she did.

Singing with her reminds me of elementary school, when I was told that this one girl, Katie C—, and I sounded really great together on a certain song (“The White Cliffs of Dover”). I didn’t entirely understand at the time how anyone would know that, or how someone would sound better singing with one person than with another, except for the fact that he one person must just be a better singer than the other. I have since learned. And I was almost shocked tonight when I heard us singing together. Our voices and styles are quite different from one another, and yet they complement each other beautifully. It made me want to sing and play more with her. I hope I get the opportunity tomorrow and often in the future.

As we were closing up the campfire, it came out that this was my first public “performance” of my ukulele and singing skills, so to speak, and no one could seem to believe it. I guess because I wasn’t shaky, and was able to talk and play and sing like what seemed to them like any other normal day. But that’s training in presenting and self-comfort, not in performing music. In response to their claims of disbelief at this, I ended up sharing how I only just starting playing more and writing songs earlier this summer, so it is still a kind of new idea for me to be playing for other people in the first place. And so, now, they clamoured to hear one of my songs.

So, I accepted the anointed guitar the priest had been playing – because that’s just baller, y’all – and told a quick background to one of my songs, and then played it for everyone. And I think the back story really put a context to the song that kind of blew everyone away just a little bit. It actually made me tear up a bit during the song, as is common for me with this particular song… it’s just really good, and the meaning is spectacular when one knows the context of its writing. Anyway, so, that was a really, really cool mini-adventure tonight. And I am very grateful for it, on many accounts. Now, however, I must sleep.

Goodnight! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post-a-day 2020