Bruised

Well, my toenail on my second toe on my right foot is officially bruised. It’s actually reddish purple now. Not the whole thing, but the whole left side, all the way to just past the center, as well as a small spot on the right side. And the tip is still white, of course, because that doesn’t change since it’s already been unattached to the skin for a while. But the attached part does not look very comfortable. Fortunately (?), however, it doesn’t look like it will be falling off.

I’ve had that happen before. It isn’t exactly unpleasant, but it isn’t pleasant either. I suppose the worst part is afterward, while there is no nail to protect the sensitive skin of the toe that is now suddenly exposed to the world and to shoes. That part of it totally sucks, actually, but it is still doable, easily survived. Just very uncomfortable for a while, I suppose.

I event had a run today as part of the workout, and it was totally okay. And even pressing on that particular toe and toenail doesn’t hurt anymore, which is quite good.

But yeah, it doesn’t look like this nail is falling off. Partially and strongly bruised, but not killed. Much like my pride and drive after that date with that guy way back when. Or like my brother’s when he busted a piece of his fancy motorcycle while pushing it up the loading ramp for the trailer to take it home from the racetrack…. and then shortly thereafter when he had his bicycle stolen out of the back of his truck (though it was locked up), after he had felt like it was a bad idea to leave the bicycles back there while he and a friend went into the store…. yeah, kind of like that… except probably nowhere near as bad. This is just a light bruising compared to all of that.

So… yeah… πŸ˜›

And no, my hamstrings are not better today. However, despite the run, which wasn’t actually very difficult at all, they aren’t any worse than they were yesterday! πŸ™‚

Post-a-day 2020

Today

I’m not sure what to share today… I woke up later than planned but early enough, as hoped, and completed a workout before sunrise. It’s amazing the difference it makes 1) to have the coolest part of the day and no sunlight, and 2) to start off the day with exercise. I had only done the first part of the workout at one point, when I noticed how I already felt amazing… and more so than I have felt any morning lately, even when I have slept many more hours.

I called my mom, because she was messaging me, and kind of hung out with her as my workout neighbor over the phone for the first half of the workout. It was actually really cool, and I enjoyed it immensely. It was nice to have that same feeling of company that the workout class gave. Truly, it was a fabulous way to begin the day. It was so good, in fact, that I didn’t even realize that I had already mentally planned to do it again tomorrow, without even thinking about how I have only managed to do workouts every other day at highest frequency lately… I’m delighted for what feels like a true shift for myself here.

AND… dear me, my friend reminded me yesterday how “ice cream sandwich > some guy”. I had been preventing myself from having one or having any ice cream, because of my concerns around being not fit enough and whatnot. I ate and enjoyed the sandwich last night, got up and worked out as planned today (only the time was slightly different, but it was still the first thing I did and I had to get up early to do it), ran all my super important errands of the day (including a lovely and satisfying lunch with my mom), and then picked up veggies and ice cream and gelato from the grocer on the way back home. And I totally ate a couple bites of the gelato and several bites of the ice cream. Full enjoyment on that ice cream tonight, and still within the caloric goals for the day. Bamn! I can do this, derr. And, though I don’t want to have it all that often, due to the dairy and the sugar, I was comfortable today in the fact that it’s okay for me to have ice cream when ice cream is what I truly want to have. And, today, it was. And it was delicious and satisfying.

Tomorrow, another workout to start off the day! πŸ˜€

Oh, also, I met a lovely and adorable Australian Shepherd today… gosh, it was hard to stop rubbing and petting her, and to leave her to go home… she was lovely and super sweet… I want to snuggle now… haha

P.S. It is September now… what on Earth???

Post-a-day 2020

Recuperation

Today, I did a lot of not much all day and evening. In fact, I woke up a few times throughout the morning, either because the dog was shifting around or because I needed to pee. But, every time, I went ahead and went back to sleep. It was overcast enough of a morning, plus the curtains in this room are rather effective, I was able to fall back asleep easily. I went to bed after one in the morning, sure, but getting up for the day at 1:45 in the afternoon is just plain nuts. I haven’t done that in years.

However, yesterday, and the proceeding few days had a whole combination of stressors for me, as well as the added lack of sleep that comes with an uncomfortable situation yet comfortable company (read friends). So, it really makes sense that I slept so much and so hard last night (and today, technically). I knew I was exhausted yesterday, especially since things were really getting to me in a way they only do when I am exhausted. So, even though I physically felt okay, I knew I was close to wiped. Thus the 12+ hours of sleep.

Then, after getting up for the day, I indulged in the candy that tempts from its jars, as well as a Tillamook ice cream bar (which was awesome, by the way) from a freezer filled with desserts. I did eat some real food, too, but the bulk of my calories today was likely the three ice cream bars and the finishing part of a tub of ice cream. However, I think I still ended up under my caloric requirements for the day, so my body gets to use its excess stores to handle the remaining caloric balance for the day.

Basically, I spent the day hanging around, either eating food or watching Disney movies, or even both at once. I took the dog on a training walk-run, and exerted some real physical effort this evening, but mostly just spent the day recuperating. And yes, recuperating is the right word – I wondered why I was so unbelievably uninterested in doing anything else throughout the afternoon and evening, and I realized that it was because I needed this non-effort… I needed the opportunity to readjust and revamp… I needed to spend today in a way that allowed me to re-empower myself, both physically and mentally. So, I slept physically for 12+ hours, and then I rested mentally the rest of the day.

And it did a really great job. I think tomorrow will be a joyful and bouncy day for me, now that I will have rested so much and so well. πŸ™‚

I am grateful for such an opportunity.

Post-a-day 2020

Rain’s a’comin’

Okay, the grandparents are safely evacuated from the hurricane’s danger path, and I am mostly settled into the home where I am housesitting for the next couple weeks, both being on the Houston area. Hopefully the casual wind and rain forecast will turn out as expected here. I love storms, but prefer they be safe ones.

(Ha – I wonder if that has anything to do with the ups and downs in my life…)

Dear God and Universe, help is to be happy, healthy, holy throughout these storms this year, and going forward from them afterward.

Amen.

Post-a-day 2020

Today

Two things tonight: trash and holes.

First:

Today, I got to experience a delightful little bit of small town life. No one put out the trash this morning, so, once I was up and finished with tutoring, I handled it myself. There were still trash bins all down the street, and, when I had been doing the running for my workout, I discovered that some really reeked… suggesting that they still had trash in them. In fact, it smelled outside period, because of trash. So, I cleaned out the trash cans throughout the house, added their trash to the kitchen bag, and stuck it in the trash bin. I hugged the bin out to the curb, and headed back inside, out a clean kitchen bag and cleaned the trash can lid, and then washed my hands.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. After a pause of contemplating the possibilities and likelihoods, I went and opened the door. An older, grayed and balding yet able-bodied man stood on the doorstep. “I hate to have to say it, but the trash man’s already come today.”

His southeast Texas small town accent only increased the endearment of the whole act. Only in small towns, communities that care openly about one another, does this happen. The other week, my mom said that the fat layer on my arms was due to my having been in the boonies for so long – it was just part of living out here. I laughed really hard at the joke, and told her later how grateful I was again and again at her having given me that silly way to look at the unpleasant situation of having gotten fat where I didn’t want it. That was, nonetheless, one of the drawbacks of small town life. This week, I got to have a positive of small town life, and enjoy the super sweet neighborly kindness that this guy gave freely to me. Just lovely. πŸ™‚

Second:

I talked with my old high school boyfriend this afternoon. We have remained friends these past many years, despite the oh-so-different paths our lives have followed. We don’t talk often, but, when we do, we have to be cut off by some activity of some sort, or else we talk for hours. And we do it with ease. We weren’t just a dating couple in high school. We were really good friends for years first.

Talking today, I noticed how there is a piece of me – un trou – that is filled only by him. It sits just behind my ribs, from the center to the right a few inches or so, and it has a bit of depth to it, though not uniform. I could feel it so incredibly clearly today, I am surprised that I hadn’t fully identified its existence before. It had just been one of those subconscious knowings, I suppose, until today. But now I see and feel how that one spot is filled only by J——–, and it makes my heart, somehow, feel more full. By the knowledge of his absence, he somehow goes everywhere with me, whether I realize or pay attention to it or not. It was a kind of fun realization to have.

While we spoke, I could feel an intangible heat stretching inside my ribs, expanding to fill, at least in part, his space within my being.

Whenever I see him next, I can definitely see myself hugging and hanging tightly around his neck for quite a while – he is so important to me. But it is truly out of love through friendship, not romantic love. Frankly, we are so not interested in one another on a day-to-day or dating level – that’s a hard pass for the both of us. But, just because we are not romantically for one another, doesn’t mean that we cannot improve the foundation of our relationship, and stick with that: friendship.

Anyway, I’m losing focus, both visually and mentally, actually. So, I’m going to end here and do my stretches and reading so I can go to sleep now. Goodnight!!

Post-a-day 2020

Perseids

Tonight, while awaiting the arrival of my aunt and uncle, finally coming home from their ten-week vacation, I received a message from my aunt, asking if my cousin and I were still awake. It was 10:56 when the message arrived. I called her in response, and she asked if we wanted to go see about seeing the Perseids meteor shower with them. Ten minutes later, we were on the road to meet them in a dark place surrounded by trees. It was supposed to be only fifteen minutes away, but my cousin wanted to drive, and he drove ten to fifteen miles per hour under the speed limit for some reason… and he almost ran us off the road more than once… I’m not so sure his eyesight is okay…

Anyway, we arrived to the parking lot in the median on the highway, and we lay down on some sleeping bags that my aunt had set out on the ground in front of their vehicle. The temperature had been 79Β°F at the house, but it was down to 74Β°F st this particular spot, but still with high humidity, so there was moisture around. When I lay down, my arms were wet within a minute, due to the dew on the sleeping bag.

The sky was gorgeous. I’m not sure I have ever been able to sit and see the sky like I saw it tonight, so dark and deep with stars and planets – the more of them that are visible, the more of a depth that is added to the sky… it really feels like we are in a galaxy, looking up at a sky like that… I’m not sure I have ever felt so much a part of something so much bigger than just the little world around me (literally)… it was glorious. I put my hands behind my head, and I basked in the depths of the galaxy around and above me…

So, we chatted and watched, and we all saw some meteors – my aunt kept stressing because she was always looking the wrong way at first. Eventually, though, we all saw multiple meteors. My aunt did a toast to the Perseid meteors, using the $15 whisky they had in the back of the car, and we all saluted the Perseids with a sip or so. She had tried many a times to see the Perseid shower throughout her life, and she had, at last, seen some of it.

My uncle told us a story of how, though he regularly lay in his truck bed in the driveway when he was a teen, watching the stars (and, my aunt added, listening to Peter Frampton [on his eight-track, he added]), there was one night that, with the sky dark-dark, and everyone had come for a watermelon smash at his home, a comet suddenly appeared, making the sky look bright as daytime while it passed. It freaked him out, apparently. That was in the 70s at some point. (I intend to look it up later.)

My aunt had never heard the story. And that is not very common at all.

Then, after work fumbling with her phone for a while, my aunt finally got the great version of “Baby, I Love Your Way” playing on her phone, and we all felt the time-warp nostalgia of my uncle’s nights in his pickup in the 70s. She had the volume low, too, so it really was like how it would have been back in that day.

While we were lying there after the song, my aunt said to me, “Hannah, you’re gonna have to remember this for me. Because I’m not remembering things too well these days.” I chuckled, and told her that I even would tell my cousin, her daughter, so that she, too, could help my aunt to remember this memory.

It certainly was a good one to have and to remember. πŸ™‚

…..

Then, of course, we came home, and no one went right to bed. Dishes had to be washed (because my cousin hadn’t done it throughout the day), sheets had to be found (because my aunt didn’t like that my cousin was putting his junk on her nice sheets in the guest bedroom), and food and certain other things had to be unpacked from their vehicle. That, along with the general need for us to hang around and talk with one another, despite the fact that it was way late. We never found the sheets, but we did find something else my cousin had been looking for for a couple days so far. Finally, around 2:30/2:45, people went to bed. I had already showered and was doing stretches on my bed (i.e. the massage table), since they had finally stopped rummaging through the room for those sheets, at long last. Good thing no one is getting up early tomorrow… oh, wait… we all are. ::face palm and goodnight!

Post-a-day 2020

He is back

Tonight, my cousin – who is back in town again at last – and I played a kind of duet. I played piano chords, and he played the fretless banjo that he made from cherry tree, a gourd, and a roadkill deer hide, and we both sang. It was “You’ll Be Back” by Lin-Manuel Miranda, from Hamilton. It was spectacular, and totally fun for the both of us.

And it was only one piece from a whole delightful chunk of music for the two of us tonight, all for which I am extremely grateful. πŸ™‚

Happy eyes watched me bounce around with delight and freedom, as we listened to the track of “You’ll Be Back”, and warmed ears heard our self-produced music the whole rest of the time, feeling the passion and love through our notes and words. I even played one of my own songs for my cousin to hear for the first time, and it was basically no big deal to me, in terms of nerves – it was awesomely easy for me to do.

Man…

This late-night / early-morning hangout was a solid one, for sure. πŸ™‚

Thank you… gratitude, dearest World… gratitude… πŸ™‚

Post-a-day 2020

Good night; goodnight

Watching the film “Pretty Woman” tonight with my mom and uncle – one of my favorite films – I found myself saying, either aloud or merely within my thoughts, “This is one of my favorite lines,” an absurd* number of times.

I knew what was coming up next, and my brain grew extremely excited – I was even giddy – at the prospect of the upcoming line or exchange in the film… it just has so many good lines in it, my list of favorites comprises half the film!

Anyway, it was a lovely night together with my mom and uncle, despite his annoying what felt like pestering about managing yet another file transfer for him, simply because he refuses to move himself into the digital age…, so we have to handle things for him… (He wants to give files and photos to my grandparents, his parents, for them to put on their iPad… they are 89 and 90 years old and have and successfully use an iPad…, yet their child, my uncle, will not get himself an e-mail account or computer or an answering machine/voicemail, or use a cell phone of any kind…. and it isn’t about money…. If you don’t want to do that, I get it – I didn’t have internet at home on purpose…, but live life in agreement with that determination… don’t constantly burden other people for the use of their digital tools, because you won’t get your own… if you don’t want it, don’t make other people do it all on your behalf… it would be different if we were wanting to give him digital photos or something of the sort…., but he’s the one wanting to do these transfers and such all the time… do it yourself, man…. stop bringing us into it.

Anyway, that’s my stress express for tonight… haha

We had an interesting yet entertaining time doing a Monday crossword puzzle on my laptop before watching the film tonight… they both were intrigued and surprised at the opportunity, and it was a cool little mental activity for us all… usually, a puzzle is too small for three people to huddle around it and complete it together, and my mom always complains about my handwriting or the darkness of my letters…, but, on the computer, it was practically full-screen, and each clue was lit up while we were on it, and it simultaneously lit up the relevant squares on the board at the same time, so it was even easier than a regular paper puzzle is visually…, and the three of us got to do it together, all at once…

It was cool.

Annoying at times, but cool overall. πŸ™‚

So, yeah… it was a good night together. πŸ™‚

*I notice that I use the word absurd rather often when describing things within my life… I wonder if I am being overly dramatic, or if my life, in fact, is rather full of absurdities… at the very least, we know it is not normal, as made clear my cousin those several years ago during the acrobats conversation over dinner. πŸ˜›

Post-a-day 2020

Uncle bonding time

My uncle, when he showed up so late last night, expressed interest in watching my partially watched film, if I were okay with his doing so.

I allowed it, and chucked inwardly at the request.

It was “Pride and Prejudice”, and he wanted me to to give him the low-down on what had happened so far, and even asked me to share about the parts that I preferred in the book that he movie had changed… specifically, some of my favorite lines from the book.

Today, as I was leaving my grandparents’ house, he asked if I was planning to watch another movie tonight.

I told him that I likely would end up doing that.

What film?

Not sure yet.

Do you know around when you’ll want to watch it? Can I watch it with you?

Of course you can – just let me know when you’re heading back.

Okay. I want to make it back in time to watch it with you.

Just call.

And so, when he arrived after nine, I stuck with my selection, despite the late arrival time – I was in the mood.

What film was it, you ask?

“Twilight: New Moon” πŸ˜€

I told him right off the bat that tonight he had the privilege of watching a cheesy high schooler movie, filled with awkward acting and likely bad directing.

I’m not sure he fully believed me.

At the end, of course, he understood completely, and even shared in a few of the most popular jokes about the films.

I told him that the main benefit, behind silly entertainment, of his having watched the film was that he was now in the know on a piece of very popular pop culture. πŸ˜›

He chuckled about it, and then we moved on to talking about Duolingo and Sachertorte…, as is our typical kind of tangential conversation.

P.S. I still love the absurd scene where Taylor Lautner swoops off his shirt like it is nothing… thanks for doing that for the world, man. We all appreciate it, even over a decade later. πŸ˜‰

Post-a-day 2020

Under the same roof

My mom and her two brothers are all staying in my aunt’s house tonight (aunt is out of town) with me.

I think this might be the first time they’re all staying together – and even without their spouses – under the same roof at once in decades… perhaps even since they lived in their childhood home together.

The dynamic is partly totally weird and partly totally easy… kind of like, ‘Why couldn’t we have done this dynamic years ago?’

Instead of the regular struggle they all seem to have around one another, getting on each other’s nerves and all.

Anyway… it’s neat, and I like it. πŸ™‚

And it makes me think of how my brothers and I all get along so well together.

Post-a-day 2020