Month: January 2023

Moving forward

I keep feeling like it is time to move forward from this part-time job I have. Yet, every time I do the trainings and read its… actually that isn’t true. I was going to say that every time I do these trainings for the company and the job, I find myself really liking this company. Well, it is half true. I do find myself really liking that the company does certain things in certain ways. I thin they are a great company, to a degree. However, every time I do these trainings and read this company info we have to read, I also am shown more and more divide between my beliefs, morals, and goals with life and those of this company. Frankly, it is stressful, infuriating, and heartbreaking how isolated and wronged I feel simply for existing as I was born and as I aim to be my best self in this life… because of this company and the claims and stands and changes it makes. It aims to diversify and be inclusive, yet, in the process, excludes the majority… and doesn’t even seem to notice or to care. And that hurts, and not just for me.

So, perhaps it really is time to move onward from this job and company. It was exactly what I needed when I started working there. Now, I think it is time for what’s next in my life. It is time for something more, and something fulfilling, in the many ways this job no longer is.

God, grant me the grace and determination to do well with this move forward. Help me to have kindness and clarity as I communicate it effectively to those who need to know. Help me to be my best self and to pursue and fulfill your will. Thank you for this life and these beautiful opportunities, as well as your always-perfect timing. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Phew

It was a 45-minute cap, not a 40-minute cap. And I finished in 37:15. So, I made it for both timeframes! Yay! I may have gotten second place, but otherwise third (we started staggered, with me at the end by a few minutes). The JROTC kid finished in under 34 minutes, which I had fully expected – he does this kind of training specifically all the time, and he really pushes himself. I pace myself, while still pushing, but I have no interest in making myself sick or anything.

Anyway, rest number two has been completed and passed for me. Yippee. Only one kid didn’t pass, and he missed the time cap by fifteen seconds… we’ll see what happens there. I personally hope he retakes the test so that he can actually pass the test. (When I missed a run time by a few seconds last belt level testing [because it was suddenly a longer run with shorter timing than it had ever been, and only because our instructor wanted us to be preparing further for the black belt testing, not because it was actually required], I redid the run the following day and got it done within the time cap.] We shall see what happens.

Afterward, I went to the grand opening of the second Black Rifle Coffee Company location in Houston. It was great. It was packed with veterans and active military and first-responders, and the air was so fun, I felt at ease, though I knew no one.

They did the national anthem and the raising of the flag, cut the ribbon – with a knife!! – and made a few brief announcements about the awesome work they do to support veterans, while we all stood in the cold rain. It was a silly ten minutes-ish, but great. And then we got to return inside, where it was cozy and smelled great.

I had a decaf hot latte, which was great after being soaked in the cold rain of the karate run beforehand, and a hot bagel breakfast sandwich. I also bought us two majorly discounted t-shirts to match (or not!), bought him a nitro cold brew on tap right before I left to rush home and give it to him fresh, and I won a $50 gift card! Also, my three receipts all come with a survey and free hot coffee for the future. Oh, and I got a bunch of stickers. (We love stickers here.)

So, basically, it was an awesome time.

After I got home, I took a hot, hot shower, napped for a while, and then went with my man to his brother’s birthday celebration, which I quite enjoyed. (By the way, Ninfa’s has great fajitas and queso and green salsa.) Then we rushed home to do Duolingo before midnight, as 1)we never expected to be out that late, so it hadn’t seemed to matter much that 2)I had forgotten my phone at home. We’d had plenty of time to turn around for it right after we’d left, but I didn’t feel I needed the phone, anyway, so we left it be.

I tried logging in on my man’s phone’s web browser to do Duolingo, but it is set up with my Google account. So, I had to log in to my Google account first… But Google does the two-factor authentication nonsense now, so I couldn’t access any account to be able to log in and do Duolingo not on my own computer or phone, because I didn’t have my phone to get the special code.

It was extremely upsetting and frustrating. But we made it home just in time for me to sprint inside and do a lesson before midnight struck. (Come to find out, I had, apparently, already done a lesson earlier today, so my streak was already maintained for the day… ugh.)

Anyway…

At that, I’m off to sleep. Goodnight!

Post-a-day 2023

Test day

Tomorrow is test day. We have a 45-minute cap to do a three-mile run interspersed with 100 each of push-ups, sit-ups, double kicks, and air squats. Afterwards, I have to take the written test (which is actually just a long multiple-choice test, but that I mostly could do without the choice options, anyway).

Then, tests two and three of eight will be completed toward achieving my black belt in American Karate.

God, give me the strength, balance, speed, and endurance for this tomorrow morning, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Let’s do this.

Post-a-day 2023

Day one: check

Day one of these interviews is completed. I went to the opera tonight with my mom – Mozart, “Too many notes.” It was awesome, as usual. Though, it went until late. I didn’t get home until after eleven, at which point I then had more applications to read for tomorrow.

But I got them done, and am finally getting ready for bed. It’s only 2:10am. Not terrible. 9am start tomorrow for the interviews, finishing by about five pm. Then I have to study and learn some information fast for karate, as our written test, which was scheduled for a week and a half from now, is suddenly Saturday morning with our physical fitness test. We were told that this morning. So, not exciting there. Lots of info to commit to memory asap. (On that note, I probably would do myself well to read it before bed tonight, so I can sleep with it an extra night.)

Wish me luck!

God, give me the strength and endurance and demeanor to do well and to do you will, both with thee winter views and with my own testing this weekend. Thank you for this life and your love. Keep my man safe, please, and bless our relationship. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

So many hats

What does one do with 20-30 baseball hats? And he wears them, he does. Some he wears quite often, others just often, and some rarely, but he wears them all. The question is: Where do we store all these hats, and how?

He tried a little hanging bar with clips. For one thing, I don’t like clipping the hats. It seems uncomfortable for them, somehow. Yes, I am fully aware that they are hats and not living beings. However, could you imagine any material, living or dead, surviving unscathed from metal claw clips holding them, hanging all its weight in those claws, for most of its life? I think not. So, let’s not hurt the hats. For another point, though, that bar only really fits five or six hats comfortably, anyway. We aren’t putting those bars all over the house or all up and down any single wall, either.

So, the bar idea doesn’t really work.

We could put a shelf and line the whole top of the bedroom with them, like wallpaper decoration. But I doubt I would find comfort and relaxation in thirty baseball hats staring at me every night, so that’s unlikely to work.

I have all my hats in a single box, just a bit sorbet than a shoebox. They’re all lined up, one in front of the other, overlapping comfortably, all sitting in the open-topped box on a shelf in my closet. But I only have about six or seven, ten at most. He has at least triple that… perhaps something like that could work, but we don’t want to pack them away to where he can never see them easily. He’d never end up wearing any of them that way. Perhaps I can find a way to set them up like that, but on shelves somewhere easily accessed, yet still out of the way… hmm…

What do you think, eh? Because I definitely don’t want them scattered throughout the house forevermore. What to do with thirty-ish baseball hats???

Post-a-day 2023

Conversations, when overheard

Some conversations are best kept secret. But some conversations are well worth overhearing, especially the utterly absurd ones… because life is too short not to overhear the clever yet ridiculous stuff.

……

A couple is talking about how long they will be married in life, how many years they have left to live together.

Man: By then, life expectancy probably will be much higher. Or, even, they probably will have figured out how to put my head in a jar thing like in Futurama, stick it on a robot body, and let me walk around forever!

Woman, smirking and eyeing him: Honey, but I’m not with you for your brains…

Man: Well… they probably can cut off my penis and preserve that for you, too!

Woman, chuckling: And what would I do with that?! My head’ll be in a fish bowl, too!

Man: ….

Man [lightbulb strikes]: Put it in your mouth!!

Both laugh intensely.

Woman, nodding and laughing: Guess that could just float in the helmet with me…

Man: Exactly!

Woman: That was good… Well done, dear. Well done.

……

You’re welcome. Now you, too, have gotten to experience this stupidly clever conversation. 😛

Post-a-day 2023

Why?

Why can I not get myself to bed at a reasonable hour?? Why??(!!!!???) Now that I’m going to the noon workouts, I have been pushing my bedtime back further and further, to the point that I’m now waking up just in time for the gym all over again… just like back when I was almost always a nooner, since I couldn’t fathom getting up early enough for the morning classes at 5:30 and 6:30am.

I’m not fully ready to be at the 5:15am workout class again yet – still getting adjusted to working out again, and being okay with having to use the really light weights for most things (which is way less than I used to be able to do, before my body got all twisted up last summer). 5:15 class is too intense for what I need right now. Right now, I need a supportive space that accepts me where I am, as I am, and that acknowledges my efforts. Right now, I need to be at the noon class. Because I also needed to be able to let go of the stress of wanting and needing to be in bed before 9pm weeknights. So, noon is really what I need right now. But I also need to start getting myself to bed sooner than three in the morning… There’s that, too.

God, thank you for this life. Help me to fulfill your will and express your love through it. Help me to do well in my current educational and career endeavours. Bless the relationship with me and my man, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Monday

Okay, let’s try this whole ‘normal week’ thing again – last week was a bizarre bust, and I wasn’t back in time for the week before to be normal, yet that first week was way more normal than this past week has been! I have a karate physical fitness test this coming Saturday. Until then, though, I want to be back in the gym. I felt so, so good the several days I had gone before getting sick, I want to be back to those good feelings all around, especially the soreness. If needed, I’ll rest from the gym Friday, so I can be less sore for Saturday morning’s test. But I might just go Friday and take it super easy and with no weights, depending on the workout… hmm…

Anyway, I’ll cross that bridge when I reach it. For now, I’m going to sleep and then going to the gym at noon tomorrow. I can do this.

Then, perhaps afterward, I’ll go see about finding some wardrobe additions – working on the normal wardrobe now. Need a couple nicer dresses and tops, as well as a regular pair of jeans (100% cotton, of course, because all the rest feel terrible and cheapy and never fit quite right or feel sturdy enough).

Okay, goodnight. Thank you, God, for helping us both heal. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2023

Thermostat lies

How on Earth does that thermostat think it is 77 degrees in this house?(!!!!!!!!!) I am freezing!(!!!) Sure, it’s 49° outside right now – no idea where that cold came from, but I am delighted about it – but that doesn’t mean that it is 77° in here, and it certainly doesn’t feel anything even relatively close to 77 in here… no way.

Give it five minutes, and the air will come on, suddenly showing that it’s actually only 66, which is why it is suddenly starting to warm… yeah, yeah, thermostat. You keep on lying to yourself and to us all, but we know what you do. We know you fake it sometimes until you feel like actually getting to work.

Post-a-day 2023