Why must so struggle so much to go home and go to bed whenever I know he’ll not be here with me? If I know he’ll be getting home and going to bed well after midnight, rather than just going to be early, I almost always end up, without really meaning to do so, staying up myself until about five or ten minutes before he gets home.
What’s with that?
Here I am still up tonight, despite being so exhausted that I am falling asleep sitting upright and with no back rest while I type this. He doesn’t finish his rodeo shift until 7am. He won’t be here during the night… and yet I’m still up… Ugh.
Going to sleep now, though. Goodnight.
God, please, keep him safe and well. Thank you for this life. Amen.
Why can I not get myself to bed at a reasonable hour?? Why??(!!!!???) Now that I’m going to the noon workouts, I have been pushing my bedtime back further and further, to the point that I’m now waking up just in time for the gym all over again… just like back when I was almost always a nooner, since I couldn’t fathom getting up early enough for the morning classes at 5:30 and 6:30am.
I’m not fully ready to be at the 5:15am workout class again yet – still getting adjusted to working out again, and being okay with having to use the really light weights for most things (which is way less than I used to be able to do, before my body got all twisted up last summer). 5:15 class is too intense for what I need right now. Right now, I need a supportive space that accepts me where I am, as I am, and that acknowledges my efforts. Right now, I need to be at the noon class. Because I also needed to be able to let go of the stress of wanting and needing to be in bed before 9pm weeknights. So, noon is really what I need right now. But I also need to start getting myself to bed sooner than three in the morning… There’s that, too.
God, thank you for this life. Help me to fulfill your will and express your love through it. Help me to do well in my current educational and career endeavours. Bless the relationship with me and my man, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Why do I almost always struggle to get to bed at a decent hour on Sunday nights? I fiddle around all day Sunday, exhausted, and then end up taking forever on something just before bed, getting me off to a dreadful start to the school week. Add to it my buttock and ankle pains on the right side, as well as a full day of classes, including an observation, and we have ourselves a recipe for an extremely tiring and uncomfortable Monday.
God, help me rest well, please.
True to form, it is after three in the morning and I am only just getting into my bedtime routine.
Sure, I showered before 9pm.
But then I kind of fiddled around with photos from my past month’s trips, before starting the movie I had planned out to watch while unpacking.
Since I had already turned on the computer for the movie, I didn’t want to put it off another night, even though it was almost midnight by the time I actually got to being ready to watch the movie, and I totally was tired enough to go to sleep then and there.
And, of course, the movie I selected was not one great for unpacking, because I hadn’t seen it in a while, and it is one of my favorites…, so I inevitably ended up sitting down to watch, instead of unpacking.
Nothing new there, really, though.
So, I find myself at 3:17am with probably another ten to twenty minutes of bedtime routine to do before I actually get to sleep.
And I am getting up by ten in the morning, so woohoo…
Good thing I haven’t been sick or anything lately…
I always end up being awake really late at night, and can never seem to maintain waking early in the mornings. At least, not waking up early regularly and being happy about it. That categorizes me as a night owl (as opposed to all of the daytime owls I see all the time?). People talk about how productive we are in the early mornings, and I know that I can be really productive with an early start. I just can’t maintain it. I can never get myself to go to bed early enough not to be totally exhausted after three days of it. Listen: I know the early bird gets the worm…, but I don’t even eat worms.