Why must so struggle so much to go home and go to bed whenever I know he’ll not be here with me? If I know he’ll be getting home and going to bed well after midnight, rather than just going to be early, I almost always end up, without really meaning to do so, staying up myself until about five or ten minutes before he gets home.
What’s with that?
Here I am still up tonight, despite being so exhausted that I am falling asleep sitting upright and with no back rest while I type this. He doesn’t finish his rodeo shift until 7am. He won’t be here during the night… and yet I’m still up… Ugh.
Going to sleep now, though. Goodnight.
God, please, keep him safe and well. Thank you for this life. Amen.