Ouch

“You oughta see yourself,” she says, chuckling. “You look like…,” and she makes motions with her arms that are very clearly imitating a monkey.

Oh, I know, Grandma… I am incredibly aware… 😛

After the workout yesterday – mile run, 100 pull-ups (modified to difficult ring rows), 200 push-ups (modified to dumbbell push-ups for my wrist), 300 air squats, and another mile run, both runs with a 10lb weight vest on me – my arms are in big time muscle soreness. I hadn’t done push-ups in months because of my wrist, and I suddenly shot out 200 of them. It’s no wonder they hurt today, but boy, do they hurt! I actually woke up in the middle of the night last night, they were hurting so badly. I was rubbing and stretching half the night after that. Then, today, I couldn’t quite get my arms to bend normally, so, every time I itched my face or wiped my mouth or brushed back a lock of hair, my overly rounded arm shape made me look and feel just like a monkey.

Fortunately, all the vitamins and food and water and stretching and low-grade use of those muscles today has helped significantly. They aren’t healed fully, but they are much better than this time last night!

God, thank you for the blessing of this pain, this reminder always to take care of myself and be grateful for my body and its capabilities. Please, help me to heal fully that I might pursue fully and fulfill your will. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Muscle aches

After reaching my goal of workouts in a year l, from April 8 to April 7, though excited about reaching the goal, I was delighted no longer to have such a strict regimen in terms of gym attendance. I no longer have to go so many times per week, as I was doing, but I have the choice about going once again. And the chiropractor agreed with me that it would be best for my body for me to step back a bit from the workouts. I was pushing myself too hard with them and with their frequency.

So, now, I have been going the past week and a half half as often as I had been doing – three days per week instead of six – and it has felt great. My overall stress has gone down in terms of scheduling and sleep, and my body has started to receive the rest and relaxation it needs for real recovery – these workouts are not easy. The workout today had a repeat movement fro the past few weeks, and I was able to do it significantly more easily than I had even one week ago, the difference was immense. My muscles still ache, but I am now able to work on the lack of range of motion in my arms, rather than simple being able to move from the buildup of lactic acid and such from the workouts.

Thank you, God, for this much-needed rest and restoration of my body; and thank you for the fitness that this gym offers and provides for me and others. Please, bless us with continued and improved health and well-being, that we might better fulfill your will. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Day one!

Today was day one of my fourth year at my gym. I started it off with a regular 5:15am workout – workout #1 – and then headed to school for the day. Though I definitely didn’t get enough sleep the past two nights, it was still a great day and time. I hung with my mom after school, then went to church for crawfish and prayer and the Divine Mercy stations of the cross (my first time ever doing them). It was an awesome day, and I am incredibly grateful for having been granted all of what today has been. Thank you, God.

I got 190 workouts in my first year at the gym. The second had the mandatory shutdown of gyms, so I only did 124 (boo). But, my third year, I took seriously again, and I did 201 workouts for the year (yippee)! My goal four year four is 202 workouts. Let’s do this! LFG ❤

Post-a-day 2022

We work out

Today, I pushed myself at the gym, and it worked out well. I wanted to stop during the run, and felt a need to do so, and so I did. I got a sip of water and let my stomach rest, and then went for my final 400 of the mile. It didn’t feel great.

You see, I went at noon with my friend today. But I don’t know how to go at noon. Not anymore, anyway. I just end up messing up my food, and regularly start feeling sick during the workout. Today’s workout involved a mile run, twice. Naturally, I felt like I might puke after only ten seconds or so of running… and do recall that I typically very much like running.

Initially, my left knee and right ankle were feeling a bit rough during the warm-up stuff. So, I used a pvc pipe to roll/rub out the surrounding relevant muscles on my left leg, and a bit on my lower right leg, too. When went to start the first run of the workout, while I was already nervous about the absurd cold outdoors, I was also nervous that I’d have to give up after the first 400m lap, or even soon… as my knee began to hurt, I intentionally engaged certain muscles more in my left leg, hoping that things might warm up and start feeling okay.

And they did!

And the wind was intense, pushing me out of step more than once.

And it started to rain on the second mile run of the workout! Only two of us stayed out for the whole run on the second mile – everyone else went inside to switch to the bikes after the first lap (of four or three).

And the second run actually felt decent. It didn’t feel good, exactly. Not at all. But, on the section in between the runs, I kept having to pause on the Russian twists to burp… a lot. So, I thought running might be easier on my belly after all that burping. And it truly was.

It was a bit of a crazy workout today, what with my body going nuts in a few different ways and the weather going nuts in its ways, but I really enjoyed it as a whole. Thank you, God, for this crazy and wonderful workout and day. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Rest in the knowledge

‘I mean, I love him, but if he’s not going to take his fitness seriously, then it’s not ever gonna happen,’ she says with casual comfort and clear honesty. ‘If he won’t even stretch, then no way…’ She is not upset in what she says, nor is she concerned. For her, it is clear that, if he isn’t the one, then he just isn’t the one, and she’s totally okay not spending any strain, stress, or brainpower on wishing, hoping, or dreaming for him to be the one. If he’s not, he’s not, and there’s someone better out there. If he is, then he’ll make it clear that he is, which will include caring about his well-being and honoring his own body. How can we love another, if we cannot love ourselves?

Be not afraid. God is with us, even and especially when we feel so utterly alone on the partner/relationship front. God, grant me the serenity to be your love in the world, even and especially in the face of no agreement in my life. Help me to do what only I can do to share your love in the world. Help me to fulfill on all I am capable of doing in this life, through your will and help. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

(Still have to think about that year…)

Bombshell, or just an actual bomb?

Whenever I see those gorgeously fit people – the ones who are basically the epitome of what we’re meant to do with the human body – I find myself just a little bit tense, stressed, on their behalves. I place upon them this ideal, somehow. Since they are practically perfect in this one visible right, they must be perfect in all the other rights, too. Their lives must be in order. They all must have a gorgeously fit partner or spouse, too, and an amazing house and car and job, and, basically, their lives are perfect. Right?
Except, I know their lives aren’t perfect. I know it is just an automatic judgment my brain makes, and that it likely isn’t the truth.
However, I always have found myself envying and, sometimes, slightly disliking these people for that envy, as though it were jealousy (that I can’t have something because someone else has it), even though their fitness has nothing to do with my own.
Now, that all being said, I must say: I believe I have become one of these people. No, I am not in the top tier of them, but I am definitely part of these incredibly fit individuals.
Yes, I am extremely grateful for this, for my intense efforts paying off so well. However, I also have found a certain degree of unexpected stress from my fitness. You see, now when I show up somewhere that is not the gym in anything that shows off my body or fitness, I feel almost weird. I almost feel like I need to hide myself, so as not to upset those around me who are so clearly not on the same level in terms of physical fitness. It isn’t always, but I sometimes see the looks people give me, and I can see that envy, the misplaced jealousy… even, at times, hatred. And these things hurt.
Part of me feels that it would be so much easier just to hide, just to allow the loud voices demanding inclusiveness and equality their way… and yet, where is the love there? When I am hiding myself in shame, in fear… what I have worked so hard towards having… When I am rejected for who I am… where is the love there?
I keep returning to Marianne Williamson’s quote about how my playing small does not serve the world… My hiding does not help… anyone, especially myself. I am here to love and to teach int this life. I am not here to cower. Hiding away or being ashamed of who I am is not honoring myself, my work, or God. I am God’s gift and an expression of His creativity in the world. When I am honoring myself and being my best self, I am honoring God. When I am ashamed of myself and hiding myself, so, too, am I doing that to God…
I understand all of what I have said here. I am convinced that it does not work for me to hide away or feel ashamed for my fitness and my fitness goals and pursuits. Yet, I still feel such pressure at being seen as ‘one of those fit people’.
Why?
I think it is because, to me, being rejected by others has been quite difficult in my life. I have had some very hard rejections from people in my life, on various levels. Oftentimes, they never even told me why I was being rejected, which made it even worse. Now, being rejected for my fitness isn’t about the fitness for me, but about its being yet another rejection.
Yes, that is exactly it. (I can tell, because that is what brought tears to my eyes just now.)
Okay, so, as my silly unicorn calendar said last year, I must remember that, whenever someone rejects me, The Universe is also protecting me from that person. For whatever reason, that person is not needed in my life beyond simply exiting it.
So, the people at my one job might not like me very much. But that isn’t because they know me. It is because they don’t know me. And because they weren’t willing to get to know me. If that is the case, then they aren’t people for my life in the long-run. It’s as simple as that. I want people in my life who both can and will love me. If they won’t get to know me, they never can love me. If I am hiding away myself, then those people still won’t get to know me and still won’t be able to love me. Therefore, be myself truly. If people reject me for that, it is for their own problems and struggles – it has almost nothing to do with me and everything to do with what my presence brings up from their memories about themselves. Being small serves No One and none. Indeed. Again as Marianne Williamson says, being true to myself and letting my own light shine will allow others to do the same for themselves. Though I likely will upset the loud few for being so gorgeously fit and for sharing that fitness with the world around me, the ones who are ready will take the opportunity as – consciously or not – inspiration for their own pursuits.
Therefore, honoring myself with my fitness, sharing it openly, also will be honoring and supporting those around me.
That’s quite cool, actually…
Post-a-day 2022

Sleepy

I didn’t go to the gym this morning, as going to bed at midnight after the opera just did not give my body the rest it needed to take on today, especially not with a workout to start it all off. So, I slept another two-ish hours, and that was barely enough to get by for the day.

After school, I got to go workout, though, despite my plans o babysit for my friend so she could go. Her dad came to watch the baby for 30-45 minutes while my friend drove to the my, and I finished working out and came home to take over the babysitting. I’m glad I got to work out, but, boy, I am wiped. The baby has a fever, which probably is playing a role in my present state of exhaustion – my body is probably working overtime right now (though, no fever for me, thank goodness).

At that, Imma sleep now. Goodnight.

Post-a-day 2022

We work out!

My friend came with me to the gym Saturday morning. She was a total trooper and did an awesome job. She is probably close to the most out-of-shape she has ever been in life right now, having not been able to get things sorted out with exercise time and all after having her baby almost a year and a half ago.

Yet, a few hours after the workout, she’s talking to me suddenly about the punch card she’s getting for the gym and what times and days she’s planning to go this week… And she says that, if she likes it and can make the timing all work okay, she will end up signing up for a subscription when the punch card runs out.

I was blown away and overjoyed. I hadn’t even brought up the idea of her ever coming with me again or signing up – I had merely invited her to come work out with me for one day. So, that made it extra-cool that she was interested in potentially joining the gym.

And, due to an atypical schedule for her tomorrow, instead of going in the morning with me, I’m going to babysit later in the day, so she can go then. AND there’s a chance her husband might be able to make his work schedule line up to go with her tomorrow to try it out himself. And that was her idea completely.

No matter how it all goes, I am grateful to have been able to make even the slightest difference in the health and well-being of my friend.

Thank you, God, for such love and opportunity. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Gymotions

I learned this morning that I need to go ahead and scale things down on Mondays at the gym. I needn’t feel like I am lame or cheating out or anything like that – I just simply cannot do the prescribed work. In the past, we had three levels of capability listed for each aspect of a workout. I was always the lowest originally, and eventually moved up to some of the middle level for parts of workouts. Now, we have only one, the hardest one. I am not on that level on any day. And, now, on Mondays, we are doing movements that are hard for my body period. I absolutely need to scale those down, and a lot. Otherwise, I will not improve and things will not go well for me. We can push when we are being lazy, but it is not a good idea to push when the body is crying with pains and high discomfort in movements. I needn’t cry doing any movements at the gym. But, today, I did, I was just so frustrated with not being able to do the stuff, no matter my effort.

Yeah, it was emotionally rough this morning. And my muscles were, of course, still quite sore going into it all, which didn’t help. At least I’m getting to bed a little earlier tonight…

Post-a-day 2022

Tuesday that felt like Thursday

I dreamt of what seemed to be being married and pregnant last night… I wasn’t openly sharing about it, but I felt pregnant in the dream, though I hadn’t shared it with any colleagues. And, what’s interesting, is that my colleagues were actually for the job I really want to have in real life. So, in an odd way, several hopes and dreams were realized in this odd dream – it was something of a first communion-type event for a Spanish-speaking community, though I only knew for sure one person at the event. But I was thinking about how I might want to do the event for my own child, completely in Spanish, too, but without warning people ahead of time. 😛 Because, clearly I am still myself in dreams(!). Haha

Anyway… there’s that. Also, I helped a few students with some research on their French project today, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. AND I ended up speaking in French with a friend before the workout this morning at the gym. That was both fun and fulfilling… surprisingly so, at that. I hadn’t realized how much of my current self was present in French. It was a cool discovery to make this morning. Guess I need to work on speaking French more often in my daily life. 😀

Post-a-day 2022