Energizer*

I was planning to get a lot done on my computer while up here… When my brother was working during the day for his job, I was going to make my job be to do a few specific things on my computer, most notably writing, and secondarily photography stuff.

I have done minimal writing, and no photography organizing while up here.

I haven’t even gone through the photos that I’ve done while up here…

I guess, I have just been busy taking advantage of being here versus anywhere else… versus home, mostly.

I have exercised with workouts and with just doing various outdoor activities, and often multiple times a day… today, I spent 18,500 steps on my hike at the park, followed by a Hard workout at the gym… when I only had 3,700 steps Tuesday evening for the day so far, it was because we had gone so hard with the outdoor activities all the long weekend long, and had genuinely had to Take A Break, and just lounge around the house for the day.

We’ve been doing a lot outside, and it has been very good for me.

At first, I was so wiped out from the combo of all my already-present life stresses and the added menstruation, I could barely do anything physical or liking to exercise… I could sit on a stationary bicycle and pedal casually, rolling out my leg muscles both before and afterward…, and that was it.

Since those first few days, however, the menstruation has finished, and the activities outdoors have exploded… energy demands have been high, and energy has been in high supply – aka it has been awesome.

Tomorrow is my last full day here, so I shall sleep now, so that I can actually get up tomorrow(!).

Goodnight, World and world at large!

*Bunny

(Think Duracell…)

P.S. That workout this afternoon was an approximate 600 calories burned, based on the fitness tracker my brother has… just for a frame of reference for these workouts that we do… hashtag not easy. 😛

Post-a-day 2020

And another…

Well, another song has come into being by my hands.

And I like this one, too.

No, it is not so love-overflowing and happy and hopeful as the first, but it is still honest, and, while it hurts some, it is releasing…, cathartic, in a way…, and it offers hope.

Tomorrow morning, I will do my first of two workouts for the day, then I will start work on yet another song as part of my homework (due at 4:30pm tomorrow), then do another workout for lunch, and be delighted in the accomplishment of my one-year relationship – the only anniversary I’ve ever had – with the gym.

I am excited for tomorrow, and I am grateful for today.

God, help me to be true to myself and thereby share and create true love in the World.

Amen

Post-a-day 2020

Friday Night

Usually spent with friends in bars or clubs, or at least hanging out at someone’s house or apartment, Friday night is a busy one for adults my age…

And yet, how do I spend it?

Mostly sitting on the floor in the corner of my bedroom, next to my phone (which is plugged into the wall), listening to an audiobook that I can’t seem to stop without immense struggle…

It is that good.

And yet, it is also rather intense and somewhat frightening at times, leaving me slightly paranoid at every sound I hear around me…

But it is oh, so good…

And I have no idea why I prefer an audiobook to going out dancing, especially when I had just said at the gym this evening that I must need to go dancing, since I’ve been dancing around to all the music at the gym lately…, but perhaps it is because I don’t have to put forth any effort for it, but dancing would require social interaction, driving, physical movement in dancing, and then also money…., and reading this book is free of monetary charge….

It takes only my time and my sense of safety and ease. 😛

Anyway…, I’m super tired, so I’m going to sleep now (the only reason I could get myself to turn off the book).

And then I can get up all the earlier to listen to more of the book before going to the gym (I know, I go to the gym a lot these days, but it is part of taking care of myself). 😛

Post-a-day 2020

Playtime

Well, we are officially signed up at our gym, and paid for our first month, so yay!

And I have a treatment plan in place for handling the fleas.

AND I got to play with this little guy (read “girl”) today, and learned that she, since she was left behind and all, will be the house pet of one of the guys who have helped to rid the house of them all.

Also, we put together my friend’s new television stand, and then set up her new television (which was a sort of present from her mom), and immediately evaluated it by watching the first five minutes of “Planet Earth”… and it was beautiful.

More delights tomorrow, including anther workout at my new gym, and the first flea treatment!

Post-a-day 2019

Such a lovely day.

Ninja Gym: Round Two

I tried out the ninja gym again today.  My brother is again in town, and one of our stepbrothers came with us to the gym to check it out.  Apparently, my brother hadn’t even really considered going while he was in town this time, because of his trip being about family time and all, but he was glad that I came up with the idea, and that we turned it into family time after all.

Really, though, I didn’t just come up with the idea.  I’ve been exercising specifically to help myself be able to go to the ninja gym with him the next time he was in town.  I’ve slipped off the goal exercise dramatically the past two-ish weeks, but I still have done way more exercise than I was doing the first time we went together.

Now, since my brother wasn’t planning to go, he didn’t have his special shoes with him.  They’re these special parkour shoes that were apparently ranked as the parkour shoe to have, but that aren’t made anymore.  The soles of the shoes look like they have a car tire pasted onto them.  I call them his cheater shoes (lightheartedly, of course).  So, he had to be with us mere mortals today without his special shoes.  (We both were laughing about it throughout the gym time.)

Our stepbrother got to nerd out with my brother in a way that made me just want to watch the two of them.  They had a good time trying the different obstacles together, and they were a good matchup for it.  Whatever one could do well, the other only mediocrely, and vice versa.  So they got to help one another figure out things, and work through it all.

As for me, I brought my gloves, muscles, and endurance, and went for it.  I didn’t attempt everything they did, for sure, but I gave a lot of things a good go.  I watched for a bit to start, and then went and ran on a treadmill for a quarter mile to warm myself (it was cold today, even inside the gym).  I tested obstacles I’d failed doing before, as well as loads of new ones for me, and made it through almost none.  I had a really good time doing it all.  My goal was not to succeed in the specific obstacles, but to attempt them, to have the ability to do something with them.  I was still terrified of various things, and so still haven’t done any lâchés, but I actually got up on a bar, swung around a bit, and even considered going for the jump.  I even tried a swing and jump on a ring-style lâché.  I almost got it, too, but my fear got the better of me.  (I actually was worried that I’d flung the ring across the room when I missed, because I was so immediately focused on landing safely, but it had only flown and landed about two feet in front of me.

So, I still had tons of fear present, and I worked through some of it anyway, and I had a great time.  I can tell that this kind of thing is really a process with me, for various reasons, and I accept that.  It doesn’t mean that I’m giving up on it, not at all.  It is just that I have to keep making new efforts and new goals, always with the plan of going to the gym again with likely very little notice.  I definitely have a goal for myself with this kind of gym.  No, it is not to be like the other guys doing all the obstacles in it.  Not in the least.  But there are certain specific motions, movements, and obstacles I can envision myself doing… that is where I want to be with my fitness and my confidence and this gym.  That’s what guides me forward in this endeavor.  (Even when I have other stigmas that hold me back from my goal fitness.)

All-in-all, I had a great go my second time at the ninja gym today, and my family is still awesome – notice how we so easily turned fun exercise into family time.

Post-a-day 2017

Free/Me Time…?

My cousin wants me to start work on this work-out plan, with a very unique tie into a specialty of mine.  The idea itself sounds like something totally awesome not only to create, but also to use once it is created.  The task, though, feels almost daunting right now, in the midst of my minimal free/me time.  I hardly get enough sleep to function decently right now, I have so little time to accomplish anything that has me feel accomplished, satisfied with my day, I have to do it all late at night before I pass out.  I hardly have the time to exercise the way I want (Actually, I don’t have the time and energy to do it the way I actually want to do it, but I am finally getting in some exercise (at last!), though it has me getting to bed even later, which doesn’t help on the muscle restore front after the exercise).

I love the work I am doing right now, and I am dearly grateful for it – it is a blessing in and of itself.  I am very much looking forward to what comes next, when this current job is finished.  I will miss this, and I will be grateful to have moved to the next thing.  It will be time.  (I think that is really the main thought behind all of this right now.)

Anyway, goodnight…

 

Post-a-day 2017

Workouts, Teachers, Tears, & Careers

I honestly don’t know how to describe today. It was good and bad and wonderful and horrible and surprising and loads of other stuff, too. I’m not sure there’re real words for it, even. And not in a bad way, of course. Just in an indescribable way. You know?

I guess the best way to describe it is by saying that today was filled with love.

I found out on Tuesday, that one of the teachers at my gym was leaving at the end of the month (i.e. this Friday).  I was rather distraught upon learning the news.  However, I wasn’t too surprised about it – she had always seemed like a superstar in our kind of gym.  We are casual, everyday family, exercising together and having fun.  She is one of the most fit, beautiful, sexy women I have ever known.  And her enthusiasm and real-ness are both top notch.

She has this one class that is insanely difficult, though totally simple, and today was the last time that she she would be teaching it.  Afterward, she kind got a little red-eyed after one lady hugged her after our high fives (she always starts and ends that particular class with enthusiastic hang tens).  When she was saying a thank-you to everyone, I started to redden around the eyes, too.  And, when she started to talk to me while I was finishing putting away my weights and bands, I just went full-out crying, and we hugged multiple times, both crying and saying thank you (in Japanese, of course) to each other.

The gym won’t and can’t be the same without her, though I know it will still be good.  In the midst of my depression, this gym, and especially this teacher’s classes, were the main thing that started me on my road to becoming myself again, and they now have been a fixture in my life.  I have never before scheduled activities around a gym schedule, nor preferred to spend hours at the gym on my own instead of, well, doing anything else.  The gym was my life for a while, and it was what helped me to be healthy enough to find more to be part of my life.  And, now that this teacher and her classes are going to be gone, I can now spend more time doing those other things that I want to be part of my life (because, up to now, I have tended to cancel other activities when they coincided with her classes, because I so loved her classes).

Plus, at some point, I am going to be leaving myself, so I needn’t be too upset at her leaving first.  But that isn’t exactly the point.  Tangent-ish.  Anyway…

The group gave her flowers, and we took a group photo with her, and various folks were crying (or perhaps it was just she and I), and it was super sweet.  

When I asked for the group photo, I got to find out that she is going to be studying instead now – she wants to study physical training and English, and working here keeps her from having the time to do that.  So she’s giving up one love for a greater one. And, when she asked about when I’m leaving Japan, she was all surprised and distraught that it’s so soon (four-ish months), but was really excited for my own plans for what’s next in my life.  She could relate to how I felt about wanting to pursue the things most important to me, even if they seem a bit abnormal or crazy.

Then we took a few selfies together, at her request, even finding better lighting to make sure they were good ones, and then we hugged some more before a final goodbye.  She didn’t ask for solo pictures with anyone else – just the one big group picture.

All in all, it was awesome.  And, possibly the best part, is how much love I felt.  From me to her and from her to me, there was so much love.  I don’t know lots of Japanese (though I understand a good amount), so I don’t typically start much chit-chat with people, simply because I don’t have the words.  I always would find ways to talk with her – often using English, which often resulted in a fun befuddlement on both sides of the conversation.  She was always hesitant to use English herself, but she usually understood me, and I usually could understand her, so it worked.  However, her hesitation with English made me wonder if it were the English or the Hannah that had her be hesitant.  I always suspected it to be the English, but it wasn’t until today that I really discovered that for sure.  She loves me and I love her.  And I believe I have never cried over any kind of teacher the way I cried over her today after our last class with her.
Post-a-day 2017