We went to a dance event tonight. It was a country event, but we came for the west coast swing finals part of it, and the social dancing after those events. My man and I did.
And it was awesome.
We danced with each other and with other people. I gave him a sort of mini lesson after we first went downstairs and he got a bit overwhelmed just by seeing everything. (Apparently he had spent the whole day being scared and nervous and trying to create reasons not to come because of that. I had kept asking him all day what was wrong and what was going on, since he was being so snippy and unkind toward me and stressed and all. He had only ever told me that he just needed to ‘get over it’ about each little thing.m, though he never really did… until we started dancing, that is.) He then asked me to dance in the main room before and after the competitions and awards, and he voluntarily sought out four other women and danced with them (always while I was out of the room, naturally). And he and I danced more and more, and I showed him more and more bits, and he got better and better. And it was awesome.
I had begun being comfortable with the idea that I likely would not get to do west coast swing with my husband, whoever he would be, because I never much liked the men who would frequent events and get involved in the typical social culture of dance events and all – read ‘lots of alcohol and sleeping around and being pompous’ – and found it unlikely I would meet my man at any event. And then this guy showed up. In our first night of knowing one another, he voluntarily offers up that he grew up doing a bit of ballroom for kids, and that his favorite dance was probably west coast swing. He’d only learned a bit, and it was all self-taught, but he loved it. And so, God blesses us…
Thank you, God, for this lovely opportunity. Thank you for bringing my man and me together. Thank you for this awesome step into the dance world for the both of us this weekend. Phew. Thank you. In your name, I pray. Amen.
I cried at least three times at work today, because of work. Talk about being overwhelmed, and you’re talking about me today. But I managed to let it out as it came up, and then get down to business again and again throughout the day. I spoke a couple times with the teacher for whom I am teaching the first quarter – she’s on maternity leave – and what she had to share with me helped immensely with my stress. I now know somewhat decently what specifically is expected of me regarding content and presentation for class, and I have my next steps clearly in place for tomorrow (and the future classes as a whole). There is much for me to learn regarding the subject matter – Sacred Scripture and Catholicism – and I want to learn it all. But it will take time. And I have a clear plan as to how to do that now. Phew.
I want to do a good job here, as with everything I do. That’s why I’m stressed – because I care so much. But I definitely sat under the desk and cried hard at one point near midday today. So, today was a lot in a lot of ways. I wonder if tomorrow will be quite so emotional…
Dear God, grant me the grace and perseverance to do the amazing job I know you have called me to do here. Help me to fulfill your will fully and wholeheartedly. And help me to see clearly where you want me and need me to go. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Well, we really got some stuff started at school today. I have a computer and can log in to it, and now can log in to all the online things I need to access and use. Still some links on details with some of those, but getting into them in the first place was a big step forward today! I also was given access to a boatload of (organized) files to show me what to do for classes and all – super duper helpful. And I have keys for school and the classroom I’ll be using. Woohoo! (No joke, an HR person seemed very much against the idea of my having keys for anything… you’ll trust me to teach and spend loads of time with the kids, but not to have a key to the classroom or building? Odd to me, anyway! But it worked out in the end! I have zee keys!) Also, I had a good time with the silly human Scrabble ice breaker this morning, which was a positive surprise for me. I felt much more wanted and accepted today as a whole, as several people reached out to check in on me and to support with what hadn’t been appropriately prepared for me.
Went and looked all around – even in trash bins! – for my scrunchie from yesterday, but didn’t find it. Still hopeful, because God can make anything happen! He gave me my keys very easily simply by my going to look for the scrunchie! Trusting that all is perfect and in God’s will here. 😉
Loads to read and learn before class starts later next week. Sticking to not taking work home with me, which I suspect might be a bit difficult this time, now that I have this amazing man and all, whom I want to see and with whom I want to be almost always…but I pray for the needed support from God for this.
Lord, help me to do all that I need, so that I might be an amazing teacher to these students this semester. Help me to learn and study what I need in order to step forward powerfully and confidently into this school year, embodying all that you will in me. In your name, I pray. Amen. And thank you. Amen. Amen. Amen!
When did the cute stop being cute?
When did the adorable
The laughter that once
Filled the days and the nights,
When did it turn
To rude quips,
To frustrated sighs?
Did the shivers of delight,
Utter excite (ment)
Turn to crying at night
And wanting just to walk
So I stop causing
The question isn’t, “When?”
It is, “Why?”
And the answer
Is that I deCIDED.
I cut off all chances
Those wonderful things
Had at surviving,
Let alone thriving…
While that is so sad,
So terrible to hear,
What’s wonderful about it
Is that I</> decided it all…
And so I</> can let it all go,
And choose sonething new.
I can create new life.
P.S. Happy birthday today to baby Grace!!
You know, I almost got to bed at a decent hour tonight. But then, of course, one thing came up, and it took forever to get done, and then I was just tired but determined still to get some more things handled that I’d already intended to handle before bed tonight. And so, here I am after 12:30 already, still not asleep. Thank you, God, that I am in my way to sleep, though! And thank you for the awesome progress! This house is truly starting to feel like a home. Amen!
Well, the rash is back in full swing! (Or, shall I say, itch??) Ugh. Guess it’s time to cut out all sugar sources, which is minimal in terms of processed sugars, but is a major bummer in terms of bananas and grapes and all other fruits that I would love to have right now. But, hopefully, it will be worth it, as this thing seems to thrive on sugars (and make me crave them, too). Hopefully, I can crunch on a bunch of ice and drink cold, cold water to satisfy all my watery-sweet, cool-fruit-in-summertime cravings. Hats off to the absurd for our health!
God, give me the grace and strength, please. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Well, the family reunion was a success. Woohoo!
It was great being with everyone again, though plenty of people weren’t there this year, and having the wonderful family recipe pot roast again. It was also lovely having everyone get to meet and start to get to know my man. The consensus is that he is wonderful and gorgeous and sweet and that he satisfies the command for me ‘not to settle’. And that, while not a surprise, was all great to hear and have affirmed from and by people I love.
Thank you, God, for all of that. Please, help us to drive and arrive home safely tonight. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Alas, a new chapter has been completed successfully. However, it is not the one that includes the completion of our tidying…
More to go, and a guest is coming to stay Thursday morning…!!!
God, give us the strength of mind to persist and pursue this tidying. In your name, we pray. Amen.
And now, when we have paused tidying to run s rehab necessary errands, I return home with a sore throat… Talk about the body reacting to its circumstances. As usual, as soon as it has a rest from the intensity, it reacts with signs of a cold. Apparently tidying is no different from all the rest of life, so far as my body is concerned! 😛
God, please, bless my body with rest-filled healing tonight, and with healing energies all day tomorrow, such that I am able to pursue your will fully, operating at my highest level. Help us to create this life you have given us to dream. And help us to heal the world around us as we, ourselves, heal, too. Also, we pray especially for C & D and JD – May they all heal and find the grace and ease they so need. In your name, we pray. Amen.
… we tidy our lives. Therefore, just as the home starts to look and feel like an utter mess and hurricane, so, too, do our emotions rise up and our lives as wholes feel like they are in the midst of a hurricane.
Put differently, today has been… intense.
Dear God, please, give us the grace and the strength to pursue our goals with this tidying marathon, as she calls it. Help us to run the distance, and together. In your name, I pray. Amen.