Have your cake…

But don’t eat it…?

Twice now, within a few weeks, I have attended a birthday celebration for a child’s first birthday. (To be clear, they were for two different children.) In both cases, when it came time for that special cake smash and devour, the baby was utterly disinterested in the cake. Dads stuck a finger-full of icing into the baby’s mouth. The baby showed no interest in finding more of the sugary stuff to eat, let alone touching it.

And it has me wondering, Are babies already clear that they want the healthy stuff, but we just condition them to like the junk??????????(!!)

A bit scary, I think…

Post-a-day 2022

Practicality

We went to a wedding. I brought a Tupperware-type container for my leftovers, in case I wanted them. He told me, ‘We are not doing that,’ when I mentioned to him that I had a container in the car. I said, ‘Okay…’

They started packing up the buffet. I told him so. He ran to get a bit more food for himself, and asked if I wanted anything else. I said that I wanted a bit more green beans and mac ‘n‘ cheese.

He tells me there is no more mac. I say I just want some green beans, then.

He comes back a few minutes later with an actual to-go styrofoam meal container, half mountain-ed with green beans and half mountain-ed with chicken.

…..

Uhmmm…. Okay… but we are doing this??? 😛

Ridiculous. Haha

He said that they just kind of did it, when he had asked for more green beans – put it in the to-go container, I mean. And then they said, ‘Well, that’s now enough. You want some chicken?’ And they started adding chicken before he could do anything else about it. So, he was surprised by it all, too. Haha

Post-a-day 2022

Food for thought

Do you know that feeling
of when your body needs you
to eat some more
protein?
The belly has a slight hollowness,
various muscles ache a bit,
everything feels fatigued,
and there is an undeniable
craving of necessity
pulling clearly
from somewhere indistinct within…
and possibly all over your skin?
All such that you can just tell
that you need to go ahead
and have some protein already…

Yeah…

That’s basically how I feel about you…

Wherever you are,
however you are,
forever as you are…
You are my protein
for life…
for life…
forever and ever, Amen.
Post-a-day 2022

We work out

Today, I pushed myself at the gym, and it worked out well. I wanted to stop during the run, and felt a need to do so, and so I did. I got a sip of water and let my stomach rest, and then went for my final 400 of the mile. It didn’t feel great.

You see, I went at noon with my friend today. But I don’t know how to go at noon. Not anymore, anyway. I just end up messing up my food, and regularly start feeling sick during the workout. Today’s workout involved a mile run, twice. Naturally, I felt like I might puke after only ten seconds or so of running… and do recall that I typically very much like running.

Initially, my left knee and right ankle were feeling a bit rough during the warm-up stuff. So, I used a pvc pipe to roll/rub out the surrounding relevant muscles on my left leg, and a bit on my lower right leg, too. When went to start the first run of the workout, while I was already nervous about the absurd cold outdoors, I was also nervous that I’d have to give up after the first 400m lap, or even soon… as my knee began to hurt, I intentionally engaged certain muscles more in my left leg, hoping that things might warm up and start feeling okay.

And they did!

And the wind was intense, pushing me out of step more than once.

And it started to rain on the second mile run of the workout! Only two of us stayed out for the whole run on the second mile – everyone else went inside to switch to the bikes after the first lap (of four or three).

And the second run actually felt decent. It didn’t feel good, exactly. Not at all. But, on the section in between the runs, I kept having to pause on the Russian twists to burp… a lot. So, I thought running might be easier on my belly after all that burping. And it truly was.

It was a bit of a crazy workout today, what with my body going nuts in a few different ways and the weather going nuts in its ways, but I really enjoyed it as a whole. Thank you, God, for this crazy and wonderful workout and day. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Struggle day

I didn’t eat well and properly today, nor did I drink enough water, nor did I put together and take my supplements. (The supplements have been since Tuesday, which is quite a bad idea for me. So, I must put them together tomorrow and start taking them consistently again.) My head has been hurting a while now, and I feel kind of dreadful from it all. I napped midday for a few hours, though it was somewhat stressful sleep, in and out. Now, I am going to bed later than I had wanted, but this was, somehow, what I needed for today. God, please bless my sleep and my body that I awake rested and well tomorrow, ready and able to take on the day you have granted to me, that I might be your love in the world as I step forward into it all and embody your love and creativity through all that is this expression of me in this life. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

(Barely got it!)

Depressively alone – alas, a prayer

Well, I think I actually accomplished a decent amount today, but I definitely don’t feel very accomplished. In fact, as I noticed earlier today, I have noticed symptoms of depression, especially today. I know that I am about to begin menstruating, and that always gives me an edge of somberness. But it feels like much more than that. I feel a sense of loneliness in my solitude throughout the day, and I struggle to do just about anything – even going down to the bathroom takes extra effort, and so I end up drinking less water – and that includes eating. While I recognize these signs, and I struggle to do anything about them on my own, I do know to reach out for support when I am like this. So, with much schedule-changing, I managed to have dinner with my dad, putting me into contact with at least one person today, and giving me a hearty and filling plate of caloric nutrition. I actually felt sick as I headed out to dinner, I hadn’t had nearly enough food throughout the day… or over the past couple days beforehand either. And my sleep has been short and poor… It gets harder for me to go to bed when I am feeling like this. One of the earliest signs of it all – wanting to call someone whenever I am alone, especially driving, and not being excited about getting to bed at night are two of the most obvious early signs of depression for me.

But I have started accomplishing things today. Tomorrow morning, I have two activities that I must attend – not the gym – and that likely will help me power forward with accomplishing things in my day. I’m hoping to get some calligraphy practice (if not the actual present) done beforehand in the morning, though I might just have tea and chill (or tea and coding practice/lesson) in the morning, since it’s already nine o’clock now, and I still have to stretch and read before bed. If I go the latter route, then I will do the calligraphy after the yoga and apartment appointments, and then go to the music concert in the evening. I hope it is chilly tomorrow. Chilly but bright days help me get going with things, because I get to dress up in cool-weather clothing, which I love. And Christmas clothing!

I even played ukulele tonight a bit. Twice. Only one song, but it’s a tough one. “What are you doing New Year’s Eve?” I really like the song, and I want to do a recording for this year on my own. However, I haven’t exactly been playing much lately, and there are a lot of silly chords (aka uncommon and not-so-eay, but not-impossible) chords throughout it. And the singing is tough, too, for one part. But it is a good challenge, and I think it might even be helpful to me right now. If I can plan to record it in the next week or so, then that will be helpful in my accomplishing things as a whole, I know.

I’ve been wanting things to be settled more before I dive back into working at the clothing shop regularly. I don’t want to commit to shifts until the last minute. That bugs me, but that’s where I am right now. I’m in a major FOMO space. I think it is because I feel so alone that, should someone invite me to do something, I want to be able to seize the opportunity. But then, when people don’t invite me, it kind of makes everything worse. It sounds like I need to go ahead and start working more again. Hey, even if I work the maximum hours allowed per week, it won’t even be 25 hours of my week. So, I need to get over it and just ask to work in the mornings on weekdays period. Ugh… She’s right, you know… Yes, I am aware… 😛

I think my fear of it was that I would grow too comfortable being the woman who works at this shop, and I would forget the woman who taught those kids… kind of like I had before… God, guide me, please… Help me to be clear exactly which path to follow right now, and help me to follow it with the confidence that you will remind me of what I need to know, exactly when I need to know it. Please, help me. Amen.

P.S. I realized earlier that 2020 was literally the longest year of my life. Truly, it was literally the longest. I am not misusing the word where “figuratively” should be used. I was in The Philippines for NYE 2019 to the first few days of 2020. That meant my 2020 began 14 hours earlier than it would have in Houston, Texas. Then, I was in Texas (Galveston, to be precise) for NYE 2020 to the first of January of 2021. How is this different from 2017, you ask, when I was in Japan for the start and Texas for the end of the year, a 15-hour difference to a regular year? Well, 2020 was also a leap year. So, my 2020 had not just 24 hours on any given year, but it had 38 hours more to it than any average year of my life. And that is pretty cool. The fact that it aligns beautifully with the bizarre events of the world’s drama just tops the whole things off. I love a good nerdy joke, and God and The Universe know it. Thank y’all for such a blessing as it was to discover that today, as well as for the year itself. 🙂 ❤ ❤ ❤ OXOXO

Post-a-day 2021

Cyclical Figlical

Anyone else have a sort of cyclical draw to certain foods or beverages? I just noticed that dried figs are quite cyclical for me. When I eat them normally, they are good, regular dried food, sometimes even unnecessary-feeling. But, when I start semi-craving them (just before and during early menstruation), and I bite into them, they always seem to say, ‘Aah… here’s that cozy hug you didn’t even realize that you needed or wanted.’ And I do agree with them.

Post-a-day 2021

Oops

I tried to make a paleo-ish vanilla malted milkshake today. It used a frozen, cooked sweet potato, along with the vanilla and coconut milk and almond milk and some dates, as well as the non-paleo malted milk powder.

Guess what. It tasted like sweet potato and malt. It was okay as a weird sweet potato smoothie-ish thing. But it was a terrible vanilla malt.

Just dreadful.

Post-a-day 2021

Trippin’?

I am taking a trip tomorrow, and very early on the morning. I intend to be at the airport at 5:00am. So, I need to leave the house about 15-20 minutes earlier than I usually do, when I go to the gym.

I am going somewhere entirely new for me, somewhere I have never been. I am staying with someone I barely know and whose habits and way of living are almost entirely unknown to me. The person is a male dentist and homosexual, so I think the two bode well for a clean living space. (That and the fact that I saw a photo of him on his bathroom, showing me an outfit once, and the bathroom was tidy and seemed clean.) However, I do not know for sure.

I do not know the specific plans for the days and evenings and nights. I think we are supposed to be going out at some point, even, to hang and be social and hear music and dance around… he even has a date for me…

I don’t know what or how we will be eating, or when. I don’t know when he goes to bed or wakes each day, or what his intended times are for this trip.

I’m not sure he has any idea of my regular sleep schedule…

And I scheduled this trip all of a sudden one day, when Southwest was having a sale. I considered it briefly, then reached out the next day and booked the flight.

Who on Earth planned this trip? Certainly not the Hannah I know… She is much too cautious to do such a thing without having a better understanding of details on all fronts.

Dear God and Universe, please, help me to have a safe, wonderful, fulfilling trip this weekend. Gratitude and love abound in me – help me to share them with the world around me this weekend, please.

Amen.

Post-a-day 2021

Woah

Firstly, if you haven’t had Vietnamese bùn (vermicelli noodle mixed bowls), go have some. It is delicious.

Now, to add on to that, have you ever had bùn made with spaghetti squash noodles instead of vermicelli?

Oh…

My…

Goodness…

I had it tonight for the first time ever, and it was spectacular. What makes it extra amazing is that I don’t feel the least bit sick after eating it, because it has no grains in it.

I am a huge fan.

I have replaced egg/flour noodles with spaghetti squash plenty, but I had never considered rice noodles…

So, I shall now reconsider every dish I love that uses rice noodles, and consider the result of using spaghetti squash instead… oooooh, this shall be interesting…

Post-a-day 2021