Ugh

I am going on what is intended to be a fun, freeing trip tomorrow.

And I am extremely stressed.

Not like pull your hair out stressed, but more like remember to breathe panicked stress…

I kind of hate packing for things that sound tiny but are actually more of a big packing situation.

If I were just going for the one thing, my packing would be simple and light.

But there is also this hiking at the end… which requires and entirely different set of everything…, and, therefore, requires a lot more space in the whole packing realm.

I had wanted to bring this small duffle.

The next size up is a carry-on hard-shell suitcase…

But, perhaps I need to use it anyway, and just have a light suitcase, instead of having to carry multiple small bags for all the hiking and whatnot stuff…

Ugh…

Anyway… bedtime for sure, now.

4:10 alarm for the gym before work, then work, and then trip with Mom.

Fingers crossed for restful sleep tonight (entirely unlike last night, please).

P.S. Happy Valentine’s Day!! ❤

Post-a-day 2020

Ready?

Well, I am packed up, at least, and going to bed now.

Why is it that I always end up doing laundry the night before I leave town, and end up waiting around on it so I can finish packing?

I think I actually always do that.

Except for the times when I just pack the dirty clothes, and wash them when I arrive to wherever I am going.

Anyway… I am exhausted and nervous to see how things work out with my bags at the airport.

I used to be able to judge perfectly if a bag was fifty pounds or fewer.

The downside of getting so much stronger recently is that I have no idea how a fifty-pound bag feels now… :/

Oh, well…

When I wake up in three and a half hours to go to the gym, we will see how I am feeling, and we will hope for the best at the airport.

Fingers are crossed.

I repeat: Fingers are crossed.

Dear Lord, help me to make this wonderful full trip beautifully and successfully in one easy go.

Thank you for this opportunity.

Help me to share myself with the world around me in the best possible way to serve the world via this body in which I live.

Thank you for this life.

Amen.

Post-a-day 2019

Tick-Tock

Well, the omiyage are almost all gathered – just missing two magazines (and maybe another box of graham crackers… I need to count those) – and the rough list of packing and pre-departure to-do’s is made.

Accountability partner for tomorrow has been obtained.

Now, just to get to sleep, so I can get up early tomorrow and get to bosse-ing*!

I am beginning to grow nervous, and not exactly from excitement.

I think I am at that point of ‘when the pressure is on you, start, and the pressure will be off,’… so it is just pressure of being unprepared so late in the game for something so big.

So, I suspect I will feel much better by tomorrow noontime, when I have handled already a good hunk of the tasks on my list.

To be fair, I had a whole lot more packing and organizing that needed to happen the last time I was preparing for a trip to Japan, so it is only normal that this feels like Way too late to be only just packing clothes tomorrow.

Also, if all the organizing and cleaning up I want to do before I leave doesn’t happen, everything still will be okay… it just would be great to get it all done, and to come home to a lovely, organized, and clean home in just over a month from now…, so I want to make it all happen. 🙂

Fingers crossed!

*From the French word bosser, meaning “to work”.

Post-a-day 2019

Packing like a kid

Every time I am preparing to go to my aunt’s house, I feel like a little kid all over again.

I end up with a practically overflowing suitcase, and at least one other bag, filled with something or other…

And why do I always pack so much stuff?

Because I want to bring everything awesome with me – I want to share all my best everythings with them all.

I love them and I love being with them, and I, therefore, love sharing all I have and can with them.

So, I want to bring my best, and to be able to share it with them all.

That’s why I practically want to pack up my whole room, plus my kitchen and pantry foods, and bring it all with me.

It’s like the little kid who first wants to wear all of his favorite clothes on one single day, with no concern for the fact that he is wearing two t-shirts, a jacket, a hat, shorts, shoes, and long socks… in the middle of summer…

Sigh…

And that really doesn’t work, when traveling by Vespa…

😛

Fortunately, I had the forethought to have my mom bring my bag of clothes when she goes tomorrow to celebrate my grandmother’s birthday, so that I will have clothes once I arrive next week, a couple days ahead of my mom.

However, just about anything that doesn’t make it into her car tomorrow morning by 7am won’t be making the trip at all… fingers crossed that I have everything already in the suitcase! 😀

Post-a-day 2019

Moving

I’ll pack the bulk of it, and then do the million-gillion trips to the car and house, if you do the packing off all the miscellaneous items…

My brain just can’t handle it… simultaneously packing the last things in a hurry and arranging them in the most efficient positions… it just makes me go nuts whenever I have to do it, and I almost always take longer doing that than I spent on all the rest of the packing combined… packing the miscellaneous is just too stressy on my brain, because the logic of hurry does not win over the logic of pack efficiently.

It just doesn’t in my head. 😛

Suffice it to say that I am utterly drained, but still surviving due to the help offered by two glorious friends tonight from about nine to eleven… they were a Godsend, no doubt, and I would have suffered intensely in the head and body without them.

Still more to do to finish everything up, but those are just baby touches compared to what we accomplished tonight.

I thank you all, who blessed me today 🙂

Post-a-day 2018

Moving

I am moving again, and I have even less of an official deadline this time as I did last time… and that’s making it difficult to pack up and actually move.

I’m also ever so slightly terrified at living all alone (mostly because of the neighborhood, and the fact that, on the odd occasion, something goes wrong in it, but also a bit because I like the feeling of someone being in the house with me, and knowing that we can help to take care of one another).

But I deep cleaned the carpet today, and so can move in furniture Monday (Ah! So soon!), and even some more boxes tomorrow (to the wooden floors part).

I guess I am scared…, and I’m doing it anyway, because this is my next step forward on this path I’m pursuing… and I’m delighted about that.

Post-a-day 2018

I promise, we’re adults

I guess it is because people once had little kids living in this house, that my bedroom door has the lock on the outside, but that doesn’t change the fact that my friend and I got locked in my room this evening while moving my furniture and stuff out of my mom’s house. 😛

So much for feeling like grown-ups after our brief scheduling chit-chat in my room. 🙂

Post-a-day 2018

Ouch!

I bruised my pinkie toe today, it seems.  It might actually be fractured, due to the style of pain, however, the impact didn’t seem to have enough force behind it to have caused a fracture, which is fortunate.  Sitting here on my bed at my mom’s house, thinking about how that happen today, has me recall the last time something similar happened while I was living here.

I was on my way to Worlds, as we call it in the community.  “Worlds” is short for United Country Western Dance Council World Championships.   (See? “Worlds” is easier.)  And it is relevant that I tell you the full name of the event.  I promise.  I had participated in and scored high enough in other events throughout the year in order to qualify for Worlds, and I was incredibly excited.  It isn’t every day that one competes for a world title, and it isn’t even in every life, either – this was an honor and a privilege, and I was ready for it.

Therefore, when I managed to hook my toe underneath me on a stair as I rushed back downstairs after having run upstairs one last time to grab something small that I’d forgotten, my mind was reeling with concern.  I was in extreme pain, and I curled up to the floor, crying, holding my foot, barely even able to make contact with the toe.  I almost couldn’t think straight, or even at all, such was the disturbance.  “If I just broke my toe, I can’t dance,” was about what I said to myself, asI was  curled up around my toe.  I prayed in a way that I didn’t know how to make selfless, and I also prayed that that would be okay for this occasion.

I realized, as my brain power began to return to me, that my fear and concern was compounding the intensity of my crying, and that the physical pain wasn’t quite so bad as I’d been thinking.  Yes, it absolutely hurt, but a large part of any impact’s pain is the initial set-in, going from comfort and ease to pain.  That is, it hurts really badly at first, but then calms after the initial shock, and then the pain begins to subside exponentially.

And such was the case.  The extreme pain was real, but was not the full cause of my tears – I was dreadfully worried that I wouldn’t be able to dance, and all for that pair of socks, or whatever it was I ran up the stairs to grab.  My toe continued to hurt for a while, – maybe even the rest of the day – but it was doing well by the time my day to compete came around.  I have been forever grateful that my toe was spared and my dancing was blessed.

If you win at Worlds, you get a specific jacket, and your name is embroidered on it.  I still have mine.  🙂

Post-a-day 2017

my kind of friends

I miss having friends like myself.  Life is just so much more exciting when they’re around.

Tonight, I found out that a friend was on his way home on the train.  I knew his route, so far as trains were concerned, and his final station was a small one, with only one exit.  So, even though we have plans to meet tomorrow evening, I thought I’d surprise him tonight.  I got two different types of tea (green and milk), cold from the store, and headed to his station.  Based on where he was when he had last mentioned to me that he was on his way home, I would be just in time to meet him, and I might possibly beat him by a good ten minutes to his station.

I was already on the first train he could have taken home, and he didn’t seem to be on that one.  So, once I arrived to his station, I checked out the exit options – yes, there is only one – and then found a place to settle down and read on the platform.

Almost an hour later, I am on my way home, still carrying both teas.  He didn’t show.  I don’t know what happened, and I likely won’t ever know, because we don’t entirely speak the same language.  And I think I really don’t mind so much that he didn’t show.  It’s more just that the whole thing made me miss my especially close friends, the ones who would have known that I was waiting at the station for them, simply because I had asked where they were beforehand.

The thing is, I don’t do well with packing.  I’m not sure what is in the way of it for me, but I almost always seem to resist packing.  I so desperately want to get myself packed up, and like right now, right now.  But I’ve been unsuccessful in doing that for the past three-ish weeks already.

The worst part of it this time is that it is stressing me out extremely, and I still can’t seem to get over whatever it is, and just pack.  So instead, I get to be stressed and to think of all hear things I miss and of all the things that drive me nuts here.

That’s all I have to say about that right now.
Post-a-day 2017

The Panic of Packing

In the morning, I’m going to a friend’s wedding.  The wedding isn’t until Saturday, but I’m going early, so that I can be sure to make the wedding, and so that I can have some time to play around the town/island.  I’ve never been to Singapore, so this is an exciting adventure for me, in mini form.  (I wonder if they have Minis there…  Also, on which side of the road do they drive?  I don’t remember…)

However, this means that, inevitably, I am up late tonight.  I am always up late the night before a trip – be it packing or just general this-and-thats, I am always up late, and usually much later than usual for that given night of the week (this time being a Wednesday night).

Aaaand, along with that being up late, is that ever-present (when prepping for a trip) sensation that I am forgetting something, something vital.  I have my passport, phone, and boarding pass, so I technically will be able to survive…, but that doesn’t ease my mind off this feeling.  As I was making final touches, I realized that I still hadn’t packed the two pair of shoes I’d needed to pack (for the dance party one night and for the wedding outfit)… things which had been on my mind every day for the past week… thereby giving me evidence that my experiencing this feeling of having forgotten something important is not falsely or without sufficient evidence created – it is not every time that something like that happens, but it is every time that the trip is somehow important that I feel this panic.

Yikes, yikes, yikes, I say!  (Well, I didn’t actually say it at first, but then I read aloud the sentence I’d written, so I did, in fact, say that sentence…, but I’m going to leave it as the italicized thought, because that’s more how it originally occurred as a feeling and all.)

 

Anyway, I’m hoping for the best!

 

P.S.  Does Singapore have beaches??

 

Post-a-day 2017