We are going to Mexico to visit his family. He is going for three weeks, and I am going for a week and a half. However, both our packing ended up looking like we’re moving there for a month (or two). Oh, the comedy in packing when driving somewhere versus flying… he leaves by 2:30am at the latest (within the next hour). I fly down on Friday. My carry-on had better be just a few little things, because my clothes, excepting the outfit for the plane, are all packed and in the car already. Lord, guide me, please.

Dear God, please, keep him safe in his travels today especially. Keep us both safe throughout all of our travels. Thank you for this life. Help us to bless the world through the gifts that you have given to us. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022


Apparently we both bring out one another’s procrastination qualities quite effectively when we’re together, my man and I. We’re leaving at five in the morning tomorrow (today, technically). I’m about to go to bed, finally, as I’ve finished all the packing except the food in the fridge and freezer – this is for Thanksgiving with my family at an AirBnB, after all – and am finishing my bedtime routine things now. He’s loading the car and doing only Goodness knows what fifty million other things before he goes to sleep. Likely, he’ll only sleep an hour or two. Actually, that’s false. I’ll sleep just under two and a half hours. He’ll sleep even less tonight. But he wants to be there before the workday starts, and we have a roughly- three-hour drive, so 5am departure it is.

But, golly, could we, please, do better about packing sooner in the future for trips? Tonight was just too much. Just ridiculous, even for us.

Deer God, please, grant us safety in all of our travels and adventures. Thank you for our beautiful, love-filled lives. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Airport hotels

Yeah… going forward, I want just to go ahead and go home on the late-night flight, instead of having to stay a single night at a hotel near the airport. I’m not a fan of this whole unpacking and repacking for a single night thing, especially at the somewhat overpriced mediocre hotels near the airports. I dislike getting home after midnight and all, but, if I don’t have to be anywhere early the next day anyway, I’d rather be at home in my own bed already.

God, grant us safe travels, especially tomorrow, please. Thank you for such a positive and beneficial trip for us all. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022


Well, not really any actual packing happened for me today, but that’s okay. I still accomplished much. Passport was found from a temporary panic-filled loss, dresses and other odd bits were folded up and prepped, I gathered most of the toiletries, and I made a list of what all I need to do in the morning, after the gym and before leaving on the trip.

Dear God, please, bless this trip for us that we may serve you and fulfill your will through your love in our lives and relationship. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Packing and unpacking

As I pack for this beachside trip this weekend, I find myself having to unpack all sorts of stress. My clothes are an odd combination of styles, when it comes to the clothes that actually fit me properly, and I am struggling to build outfits that aren’t simply workout-type clothing or fall weather clothing. The cute bottoms I have have no cute tops to go with them – just an abundance of matching/complementary cute sport bras, which isn’t the same thing. It seems my mid-range of formal clothing never really got replenished with my new age and style and size these past few years, but I had still gotten rid of everything that didn’t bring me joy. And, given my lifestyle the past couple years, with even most of my work requiring a workout gear wardrobe (and my actual workouts, of course), I have little that fits beyond the workout gear, some formal dresses, and the few teaching outfits. Even my swimsuits don’t quite exist. I just have a couple old one-pieces – like from my mom from before I was born – and one modern one-piece that is actually a touch small on me. None of them fit quite the way one wants to dress on a beach vacation.

Anyway, so, I’m having to deal with various emotions and thoughts around myself and my life as I work on this packing… the should-haves and shoulda-dones in which I do not believe in believing have been strong today, reminding me of how I could have done things better, differently, etc…

I trust that I will work it all out tomorrow, but it is definitely a touch uncomfortable still now, having only begun to unpack the emotions and what lies behind them, as well as having only gotten first-round outfits put together (meaning that I don’t love them and am not super excited about them yet, so they need some work to reach that point tomorrow).

Dear God, please, help me to fulfill your will through being my best possible self and through loving fully those in my life, with your love. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

“Fit”ting it all in

I had wanted, at the start of this week, tog et in three more workouts before the end of the year. You see, I keep track of when I do them and how many total I have done throughout the year. I started that two and a half years ago when I started at the gym, because I felt it was important data. Sure, you’ve been going to the gym for four years…, but how many times did you actually go to the gym? I wanted to help keep myself accountable as well as see how results lined up with my class attendance.

I keep both count of how many workouts I’ve done per calendar year and per year of gym membership (I started the second week of April in 2019). My first year, I managed 190 workouts, I believe. (It’s all listed on my computer.) Of course, that ‘year’ ended with the gym closing and whatnot with the COVID shut-downs. Then I had major struggles for a while with no gym to attend, and the workouts died away. But, last December, I got myself back at it, after the gym had closed permanently and then re-opened (with higher prices :/…). So, this calendar year, as of Monday of this week, I had done 55 from 1 January to 7 April, and I had done 132 after that. So, I was at 187 for the calendar year so far. I figured, It would be nice to reach a round 90, meaning 190. Still not 200, but I can still make that 200 happen for the gym membership year, which is what matters most to me. For the calendar year, I wasn’t going to be able to make it happen, what with being out of town for moving my grandma last week, and then suddenly having to move myself this week. But I could challenge myself and get that 190 with the remaining days, especially since I intended to be done moving by Wednesday at the latest. (I was clear that I needed all my sleep and energy for moving on Monday and Tuesday, and so was clear that I was not going to the gym early on in the week this week.

But, today, Thursday, I got up (later than usual) just after six and did a running and core workout in the crazy fog and dark that was my mom’s neighborhood this morning. Then, I met my brother on a walk to see his dog again before he left town – yes, all I wanted was to be able to play with and hang out with the dog, but all I was allowed was walking with him twice… so it goes – and walked roughly two miles with them. Then, as a means of heading home after the walk that ended at his dad’s house, elsewhere in the neighborhood, I did the same running and core workout again. Nuts, I know. So, I racked up roughly 9-10 miles today from running and walking. And I could barely hold myself up for the second round of the core work. And I’ve got a blister between two of my middle toes on my left foot, which is annoying but healing somewhat quickly. (Of course, I poked it with my knife, because it was too much with all the fluid in it earlier… Anyway…)

But I’m glad and relieved I managed the two workouts today. And my other brother, who has been very not-active in life lately but who has just moved back from Japan, has agreed to go to the gym with me tomorrow morning. It’s a good 35+-minute drive into town for that, but it is worth it for my brother to go do it with me. I think he could really use the physical workout and the mental and emotional release it has to offer with it. If he ends up liking it, and he finds a place close to the gym, I likely will get him a punch card for him to be able to go several times without the high price tag.

Anyway, I’m excited for him to go with me in the morning. And I’m excited to round out the goal of 190 for the year and 135 for this leg of year gym year. And I’m nervous but glad to be going at all. The past two weeks have been bizarre for me, and I miss my gym and its people and energy and release and health. I don’t know how the next six weeks of my life will look, but I am glad to have tomorrow morning sorted somewhat, and positively so.

Thank you, God and Universe, for the help and support and courage for all of this lately. Please, help me to be Your love in all that I do and in all that I am, as Your creative expression in this world. In your name I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2021

Bedtime snuggles

I roll over in bed, curling up underneath the sheets, and I pull it close to my body, pressing it to my chest and upper belly, giving just enough pressure to my sternum and flex to my arms to release those comfort hormones in my brain… I can feel them releasing as it presses into me, my whole body easing, if only briefly. Why only briefly? Because a folded-up long-sleeve shirt only does so much as a stand-in for a life partner / man… But it helped for a few seconds, anyway.

P.S. I almost forgot to mention that I I finished with everything today for moving out – it is all completed, and I never have to return there, if I so wish it. What’s funny to me is that, as I am so completely done with the place, I had already moved on from it and partly forgotten about it. Life has continued without it, and that is clearly great by me. Thank you, God and Universe, for such a blessing as not only being finished but being so far past that that I forgot all about having some that today. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Amen.

Post-a-day 2021

Progress so far

Well, the plan worked somewhat. I definitely felt somewhat ill by mid-morning, and so had to take a rest and gather myself energetically, lying on the floor, somewhat of a mess, for close to twenty minutes. But I ended up feeling loads better after that, and was really able to get to work.

I went to Mass at 9:00, as I woke up just after 7. I could have stayed up, when I awoke just after four, but thought better of it (and also was afraid of the day’s tasks, so took some time to avoid it beneficially with some needed sleep). I had expected to be up still in time for the 7am Mass, but I wasn’t. I ended up staying in bed until just after 8, diddling on my phone for a while (but getting actual things done on it, too), and then closing my eyes again for a final snuggle away from it all before my alarm sounded for me to get ready for Mass. Mass went well enough, and I picked up a stack of boxes from the store.

When I got home, things were slow-moving initially. I ate a bit and took my supplements, but struggled to think clearly. I eventually managed to sort out what felt and still feels like too much clothing for six weeks. And then I got to packing boxes and moving things downstairs to the first floor. After my little rest, I really started moving quickly and effectively with things. It was also easier not to feel so miserable and sad after the rest, though I continuously reminded myself to focus only on the one task at hand (instead of the whole mass of to-dos), so that I could keep calm-ish about everything.

Going to bed now, I have packed the suitcases for my six weeks. I have boxed and moved down: desk, sewing, art, nostalgia paper, music, incense, karate, and sport supplies, as well as most of my clothes (hanging and folded), my teas, movies and CDs, and (most) electronics. The goal is to move all of that and my furniture into the storage unit tomorrow.

Then, I can box up and load the rest on Tuesday, with or without help. But, tomorrow, I have help from someone who happens to have a truck coming to work with him. I am extremely grateful at the fortune of this particular friend’s having offered to help me. I still don’t know how to pack the books or the records, but I’ve got a big bulk managed thus far, and I am grateful.

Jude, please keep looking out for me. God, please continue to bless me, that I pursue and fulfill my role in this life to be Your love in the world. In your name I pray. Amen.

P.S. Happy birthday to my paternal grandfather, Grandpa. He died several years ago, but I still remember him on his birthday, with gratitude. ❤

Post-a-day 2021

Two things

One: I cannot seem to stop thinking about and feeling those feelings from my dream this morning, those of having met and been with my partner in life, my man. Even when I am not thinking about it, the feelings are there, in the background, ever-present. I am nervous now to sleep, for fear of no longer having the still-strong memories of being with him at last.

But then I also wonder what I need to do to go ahead and step forward in real life, so that I can make happen for real what manifested in my dream this morning…


Two: I am back at the house in Houston now, about to go to sleep. Tomorrow, I am thinking I will go to Mass in the morning – though I usually prefer the evening Mass – while I am still all clean from having showered tonight. Then I can pack and lug boxes and such downstairs all fay after that, and not worry about getting dirty and sweaty while at all of that, as well as not have to keep track of the time, which tends to give me a certain level of added stress whenever I am waiting for something happening later in a day.

I am still nervous. That’s okay. I’ll go pick up the boxes from the store after Mass, and then come back and hop to it. I’m thinking I’ll start with my art stuff and my hanging clothes. Then I can just move down all the already-packed tubs and boxes of kimono, books, blankets, scarves, shirts, jackets, etc. I also will fold and pack up the laundry on my floor. That I will keep with me for the next six weeks. I think I had probably better pack my six-weeks bag first, actually. Set all of that somewhere particular, and then start to pack up all the rest. Yeah, that sounds about right.

Well, then, I have a plan that feels good for tomorrow’s goals. Mass, box-pickup, pack for the six weeks, take down to first floor all that is already boxed, start boxing art/desk stuff and hanging clothes, and breathe calmly and fully all day long. It’ll be easier to pack all the other stuff once the already-organized and -boxes stuff is out of the way. Then, Monday morning, I can go start sticking it all into the storage unit before packing all the other stuff, art and shoes and toiletries and rocks included.

God, grant me, please, the grace to handle this all effectively and beautifully and safely and lovingly tomorrow and this week. Help me to be your love in the world through this necessary shift. And, please, help this shift to be the source of my being your love more fully and more powerfully than ever, both presently and going forward throughout life.

P.S. Please give those green eyes some extra love and fulfillment tonight and this week. I hurt for their bearer and all that that one bears so heavily right now. Allow me to lift that weight and fill that individual with such love as frees – the love that You are.

In Your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2021

Is it only Tuesday??

Alas, the saga continues (as does life, most of the time!). However, things are looking better already… in a way, anyway.

I have found and reserved a storage unit just down the road from where I currently have all of my belongings. I intend to return this weekend and pack up everything into boxes and such, then move it all into the storage unit on Monday, with a bit of rollover into Tuesday, Wednesday at the latest. I intend to stay elsewhere Tuesday night already. I hope my mom can help me pack and move bulky (but light) things. My aunt might also be able to help pack. We shall see after this weekend.

I have found, I believe, the right kind of hole to join for six weeks, starting on Tuesday. My gym partner has stepped up beautifully to support me with her spare bedroom in her home. We will talk tomorrow afternoon to get into details of it all.

Tomorrow morning, I must make it look like no one lives here. So, I’ll be managing shoving all of my food goods into my bedroom – ugh! But I am limited on time tomorrow, so I’ll be doing it super fast and then heading out the door. I have to go drop off something at the shop and then meet someone for lunch in the other direction at 11:30am. From there, I will be dropping off that friend on my way out of town, as I head back to be with my family for the rest of the week.

I have a major impulse to pack now. But that really doesn’t work. I need to go to bed, so I can get up and exercise in the morning, so I can get all the food stuff handled asap in the morning, then shower, then go run two errands, and then head off for lunch. (Yes, I had already forgotten about the second errand, I know. That’s why I have reminders pop up on my phone in the mornings!)

So, still loads and still not settled entirely, but I’m chugging through rather effectively so far. God, give me the strength and grace to keep it up and to continue to be your love in this life. Amen.

P.S. Happy Solstice on this shortest day of the year!

Post-a-day 2021