Cookies

My girlfriend said her husband didn’t need the cookies, so to eat or take as many as I wanted. So, I took loads. I think she made around 40 cookies. I probably ate ten of them. I left four for her husband. Maybe he had a couple last night already. I took a box of them to school and made the day of several girls – they were certainly surprised to be getting delicious homemade chocolate chip cookies when they showed up to class! Then, I took another box-full of them to the boys’ soccer game tonight, and they delighted in the cookies after the games. One small act of love – my friend baking cookies for me to enjoy on Valentine’s Day – turned into exponentially larger acts of love. Put differently, this loved expressed by one person to another turned into love experienced by roughly 30 different people. And my friend doesn’t even know about it yet.

So, just remember that our love is way more powerful and impactful than we may ever know or likely ever could imagine. And it is always worth it to love, even when it seems almost insignificant.

Post-a-day 2022

(Yeah, almost got the year wrong again… I guess we are going back in time now…)

Gratitude, Dude

I was a bit nervous leading up to today, as I was going to be subbing with the boys again. It had been a while since I’d been with this school, and I’d gotten accustomed to working with the girls lately. I was slightly afeared.

However, by the end of taking role in my first class of the day, I was clear just how perfect it was that I was there today. I love these boys. Within the first few minutes of class, without even trying, they had made me feel so unequivocally at home, I was feeling a sense of total ease, belonging, and love. Yes, they are dopes. And I absolutely love them for it. Don’t get me wrong here: Girls are great. But there is just something about how I’m made that just has the boys feel so much more right for me. Even as a kid, I was more comfortable playing with and being friends with the boys than with the girls. Perhaps it was due in part to my siblings closest in age being boys. I always felt more distant from my sisters, what with there being a nine-year and 11-year age gap between us. Compare that to the three boys that were only seven, six, and four years older than I was, and it makes a bit more sense that I ended up a total tomboy throughout my childhood. I also just prefer the honesty and directness of males, as well as their willingness to be goofy. That makes a big difference for me, too, and played a big role in my seeking out male friendships over the years and to this day.

Anyway, thank you, God, for this blessing that has been today. It was glorious. May I continue to be part of the beautiful formation You are offering these boys here. In Your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Twist

“Miss ——, the look on your face when she walked in was priceless!”

I had told them not to bring her into the classroom, for I would not be able to refrain from saying something. This is the girl my student prepared to ask out, the one he missed yesterday. However, a twist of fate brought them together tonight.

Another of my students is friends with this girl. She is also friends with the male wanting to ask the girl out. So she, when visiting me after school today, ended up discussing with the boy how he intended to approach the other girl. She approved of his aims and methods, only critiquing certain words slightly.

But then she offered an alternative. ‘She’s here right now. I could tell her to come in here with us.’ When that was a no-go on my and the boy’s end, they decided to go join the girl at the basketball game. At the game, my one student purposely sat not next to this girl, allowing/forcing the boy student to sit next to the girl. And he joined in the conversation, as well as struck up some of his own with just the girl.

When my girl student declared that she was coming back to my classroom, however, the other girl said that she wanted to join. And so, a few minutes later, all three of them walked into my classroom. One student already in my room, sitting near me, told me quietly who the third person was walking into the room…

I most certainly made a face…

And, I tell you, it was extremely difficult not to ask anything about what on Earth was going on and what had happened at the game and what the plan was going forward now for the boy student. Not that I typically care much at all regarding my students’ dating lives, but this boy has me invested in the silly soap opera at this point, showing up constantly to tell me it’s progression and his plans for his next move.

As soon as the girl had too leave, we all three exploded. It was hilarious. The female student of mine told me how she was genuinely concerned about bringing the girl with them to my classroom, because of what I’d said about my saying something. Both of my students were on a bit of an edge while the girl was in the room with us all. Their sudden free breathing after her departure was obvious. And, of course, they immediately filled me in on everything that had happened at the game. 😛

So, what will happen next??? Perhaps we shall have another episode of this delightful soap opera tomorrow…!

Post-a-day 2021

Heartache

I stop just after I begin to speak to the class. ‘——, you look utterly crushed and depressed.’

‘I am,’ he replies sadly yet strongly.

He missed her today. Apparently, he got to the spot where their paths cross too early Monday, and so he took his time today. Yet, I saw them all leaving immediately after the bell today, and guessed he might miss her. And he did. Even as he stood outside on the sidewalk, he turned toward where he guessed I was standing, lifted his arms in what can only be described as hopelessness, and let them fall, dejected yet accepting. She was nowhere to be seen.

He had even come in before school today to talk to me. Not to practice or anything, but just to talk with someone, to let out some of his nerves. He came by again, later in the the morning and again later in the day, just before heading to his last class before he would see her. At least, on every other day, he sees her after that class. Now, though, that he is trying to talk to her and get to know her, she is nearly impossible to find, it seems.

My heart is with him.

Also, after hearing from a friend of the girl today, there is a high chance that it will go nowhere between the two of them. But what I truly care about is that he is taking on something wonderful yet scary and is pushing past his comfort zone into truly living. I am extremely proud of and excited for him.

And I trust that we get exactly what we need exactly when we need it. He is no exception. May he have fun with and enjoy and be grateful for all of this experience, I do pray. Amen

Post-a-day 2021

I love these kids

After school today, a student came to see me for some test prep help. However, he also came to tell me, ‘My script has changed, Miss —-.’

And so, what did we do for roughly an hour and a half after school? Work on school work? Nope. We did run-throughs of the many possible scenarios that would arise tomorrow when he approaches this girl to ask her out. Actually, it isn’t even necessarily a date for which he is asking. See the rough “script”, as he calls it, here:

Hey, are you S——? I’m ——-. Nice to meet you. I just wanted to introduce myself, because, honestly, I saw you and I though you were gorgeous, and I’d like to get to know you. Would you like to maybe do something together one day after school or maybe next week?

He has prepared for many contingencies in her possible reactions at any point in his “script”. He has practiced plowing through even when he messes up and stumbles terribly (and yes, he does a great job recovering). He is ready for her apathy, her casual interest, her extreme excitement, and even her likely five-girl gaggle. He is prepared and practiced in how he will ask for her number (and why, should she offer a social media option instead), and what he will say once he has it. He has watched a Ted Talk on power stances, so as to prepare himself chemically in the brain – to cause the chemicals of courage! – and will be positioning his body in at least one power stance during the last several minutes of the previous class tomorrow. He has visualized his “perfect game” in the whole scenario.

He has certainly prepared.

Most importantly, though he cares about this and means every word he is preparing to say to her, he also is prepared for her not to accept his request and expression of interest – he is prepared to accept what is meant to be, and he knows that it is worth being courageous despite the potential of denial. Because this prepares him for so much more than merely asking out a girl tomorrow. Life takes courage if we are to live it to our fullest.

I wish him all the best and loads of love and prayers for this courageous event tomorrow. And I look forward not only to seeing it happen from afar – yes, it so happens that it will take place just outside a window by my room – but to hearing whatever he has to share about it afterward. Hopefully, I will hear that roar of delight from him that he expects will be inevitable should he succeed.

Fingers crossed and prayers offered – God, bless him in his endeavours, please. Amen.

Post-a-day 2021

Surprise

There were only boys in class today. Boy, was I surprised to discover how much more I liked it… There just really is something about these boys that has me absolutely love working with them. Girls are great on their own, of course. But they tend not to speak up for themselves and their needs when boys are in the class, and it causes problems in learning, unfortunately. And that is frustrating to me as a teacher. But just having boys in class… sometimes, it feels like I was made for that…

What do you think, God and Universe? Is this part of my next step forward in life?

Post-a-day 2021

Loving boys

I told the boys in last period today, before class started, that I was exhausted and that I was rather borderline in tears, and requested that, therefore, they aim, please, to be a bit more gentle in class today, be kind, help me out. They seemed stunned, and some even openly asked what was up for me. I just told them that there were just a lot of things with which I am having to deal at present, both in- and outside of school, and I’m exhausted.

And, though they are very young and forgetful and ridiculous and lacking in self-control, they actually did a very decent job today. Several of the boys helped keep others in check, such that I didn’t have to tell them each to hush so often as usual. It was still tough, but much improved from usual, and their genuine sweetness shone through. It made me love them even more… which made me want to cry for a whole ‘nother reason! 😛

Post-a-day 2021

Where’s the beach?

That moment of ironic joy when the guy who was attempting to grab a girl’s attention by flexing 1) makes the girl laugh, and then 2) is shown up 1000 times over by the guy sitting next to him who just happened to play along with the silliness… And we’re talking the skinny-boy comedic rendition of flexing from the former, and then the genuine, ‘Oh, wow…’, ‘Those are real man muscles,’ kind of flexing from the latter.

What a great thing to be able to witness. 😛

Post-a-day 2021

Teehee

I got to see the boy again today, doing more amazing gymnastics with such grace and fun… and yes, the little girl in me jumped with joy. The woman in me was practically rolling around on the ground, laughing, but also fully appreciated the reasons for the little girl crush – that boy can gym. There’s no doubt about that!

Post-a-day 2021

Dance, if you wanna

One of the most upsetting things in our society right now for me – one of the day-to-day things that really bugs me and kind of breaks my heart – is how much gender is used as a restrictor by so much of society.

I mentioned how I thought my nephew really would love learning and doing ballet and other dances, and I was met with a passive laugh and a certain, somewhat snarky comment to say that it never would happen, but what a cute idea. I was gobsmacked. The person didn’t even think I was saying it because I meant it. She actually thought I was just saying it passively, as opposed to my sharing something I genuinely believed and had hopes could happen.

Granted, my sister has very much played the gender toys game for her kids – pink and purses and baby-dolls are for girls, and blues and trucks and superheroes are for boys. However, dance is something amazing for any and all people to do, especially athletes. My sister is an athlete, and she can understand that benefit of dance especially. I think she might be willing to consider the idea of dance for my nephew, if it were presented appropriately and he showed interest in it openly.

Even that, though, has its own degree of upset and disappointment for me: that it has to be presented appropriately. I don’t just mean showing that dance is awesome, but showing that dance is so awesome that it is okay for both genders. Because I know, that likely would be part of it for her.

If I ever have children, no matter the gender of each and every, they all will do karate and dance and volleyball and all the fun, beautiful, beneficial stuff out there that we can find and/or create for them to do. Gender will have no value in the matter. It merely will determine which bathroom they use while at the activity.

Post-a-day 2021

^ Wrote that wrong at first again, but caught myself before submitting! Happy 2021, folks!