Really?

So, there’s a chance that I actually want to write something along the lines did romance novels… erotica…., but with really good stories that have really good sexual interactions/thoughts dispersed throughout them… like real life. It isn’t all about the sex; it’s about the life. And the sex just gets it due description, like the rest of it all.

We shall see, though. Time to dive further into reading that smutty romance stuff and see how I feel about it all!

Post-a-day 2021

Smutty

You know…, I might just actually really like those smutty romance novels after all…

Not that I hold them as high royalty among novels – nothing like that. But so far as storytelling goes, some of the smutty ones are spectacularly told…, even if they might be 80% smut… Because, I believe, smut told well is worth hearing… and, if for nothing else, then for spectacular ideas…

But the good ones actually have great stories to go with them – fairy tale fantasy and smutty fantasy all in one. 😛

However, I’m not sure yet. I’ going to do some research on the top-rated romance novels, and give them a go, see how I feel about them. I’ve mostly only read stories that have unexpected smut strewn throughout their stories, stories that focus around something else, with the smut only as a tiny piece here and there. So, we shall see…

Post-a-day 2021

Show me how you nerd

I mean, let’s be real here. How many people actually spend time looking up and reading about punctuation…. just because they are curious? And how many people do it more than as a one-time-thing?

I do not believe that the count is very high, but I know that I am one of those select nerds. 😛

Post-a-day 2021

Goggins, eh?

It seems that David Goggins is incorporated deeply into my life at this point in time. And I haven’t even finished the book. And I haven’t even done much differently than before I started the book.

He comes up in conversation just about every day, it seems. And I’m not even trying. I’m surprised every time that he’s come up again in a conversation in my daily life not at the gym.

I think I have had such an easy connection with him, because I can relate to much of his mindset. No, I haven’t had the extreme struggles that he has had in life. I haven’t attempted the crazy difficult physical and mental feats that he has. But I use a similar foundational view of my own struggles and physical ontakings, and I feel a certain sense of camaraderie with him because of that. It is as though we have known each other for years and years, at this point, such that it feels like a piece of him is almost always with me. Especially when I’m looking at something that other might consider ridiculous – he is right there with me.

And I love it and am grateful for it.

And I’ve never even met or seen the man in person, or heard his voice. I’ve only seen the cover of the book online, which has a photo of him, and the cover of another book that has the side of his face, as well as the kindle-d occasional black and white photos within the book.

And yet he seems to get me so well, we must be long-time buddies.

And I love that. That is a powerful book.

And I haven’t even finished it yet…

Post-a-day 2021

Brains and words

I’m listening to a news audiobook this week. In it, the narrator does hand lettering and calligraphy. At various points in the story so far, she has described how she often sees the letters of the words people say, as though they are out in front of her, and she describes to the reader the size and style and font and, even at times, movement of those words. Every time she does this, I find myself agreeing with her. Yes, I saw it that way, too…, because I had seen it that way, when the other characters had said what they had said, before the narrator had described the way she had heard and seen it. I don’t have the education regarding specific fonts that she seems to have, but I’ve done a touch of research along the way, as she mentions something of which I am not certain, and now understand exactly what she means as she describes various fonts and words. And I get it, every time.

Which made me suddenly realize that, though I can relate so easily to this character in this way, I do not believe that was necessarily the intention. That is, I think she was more meant to be a sort of artistic anomaly, one that is fascinating to the normal folk, because they are not like she is; they do not see the world of words as she does.

At the very least, however, I have a fictional comrade in seeing the words that people speak, and then, likely, at least one person in real life, be it the author or someone the author knows. So, I’m not entirely alone on this.

But it does have me wonder how many people do actually see words this way, as I and this character do. Like how some people hear smells or see sounds; like how Julie’s R is always the color purple (a girl from my program back in France, many years ago). Is this a matter of neuron pruning, like synesthesia? Is it only a small piece of the population, or are there actually millions out there?

In a way, I wonder how alone I am on this way that my brain functions…

Post-a-day 2021

Not even thirty… and yet

Man, is it way past the bedtime I wanted for tonight. It is about to be ten pm.

And how ridiculous does that sound? Haha I have learned that my body likes getting up early; it also, however, likes going to bed early. It still can stay up quite late, and rather effectively so. However, it really, really likes to shower and get into pjs around 7pm, give or take a bit, and do my stretches and reading and writing by around 8pm, so I can turn off the lights and go to bed at 9pm. Is that not ridiculous?

Indeed, it is ridiculous. But it is what’s so, so I’m rolling with it!

At that, goodnight, folks! 😉

Post-a-day 2021

^Got it, with only a touch of hesitation!

New year, new reads

My reading year has come to a close, now, seeing as how the calendar year has done the same. 😛 I only just realized this pas weekend that Christmas has already happened. The Christmas music will not play anymore. The Shop Around The Corner has closed.

With all of that has coke the close of the year and my 2020 reading challenge. Good for the eyes and for the spirit, it has been. Alas, here following is my collection of finished books for the year 2020. I achieved my goal and surpassed it. And I very much enjoyed all of the reading it involved. I am looking forward with delight to this year’s challenge and reading. 🙂

May you have a happy and book-filled new year!

Post-a-day 2021

^ I Still missed it at first, again! And I was just talking about how it is a new year! ::facepalm

Interview time

First interview tomorrow!!

I am not exactly nervous, but I am about anxious. I want to do well, but I more want the company and me to be a match for one another, and it, therefore, to go well, such that I am hired by them, and we have an awesome time working together.

As with any job interview these days, I am going into it comfortable in myself and trusting the Universe that all will go perfectly, whether I notice it at first or not.

Now, since this is one about which I particularly care, as I feel we at every likely to be big deal matches for one another, I have just a bit more research I will be doing in the morning, before the interview, because I am very sleepy right now, and I think it is best that I sleep for a while to make my efforts count best. As Echo said, sleep is a weapon. Not that I am fighting here, but I always think of the phrase as being applicable in the use of “powerful tool” instead of “weapon”… sleep is a powerful tool. And I shall use it.

Wish me a positive experience, whether we match up or not, please! ;D

Post-a-day 2020

Smash of a day

Well, today was interesting.  Not because of what I did, but how I felt about what I did, both while doing it and now, at the end of the day.

You see, I woke up around six this morning, and discovered after a bit that I definitely wasn’t going back to sleep.  There had been a Romeo & Juliet film I’d been interested in seeing, but had determined not to watch last night.  So, I pulled it up and started it.  After the marriage, though, when the scene began that was basically guaranteed to end with Romeo’s cousin dying – T was a jerk, in my opinion, so I never seemed to mind so much about him – I was done.  It was cute, but I was over the production, and not interested in watching the rest of the sad story in such an un-intriguing presentation.

Scrolling through quickly to find something else to keep me company as I prepared possibly to fall back asleep after a while, I came across the show Smash.  I’ve seen the preview for it every time I’ve watched the Burlesque dvd (the one with Christina Aguilera), and have been longing to watch the show ever since that first time.  It’s a story all about these people in NYC creating a musical focused around Marylin Monroe.

Suffice it to say that I was sucked in.  AND there have been several surprised members of the cast, whom I know from other films or stage productions (e.g. Jack Davenport [Commodore Norrington] and Leslie Odom, Jr. [Aaron Burr, sir]).  That has been amazing, along with the show itself being well written and well directed and produced, and the songs and voices are fabulous.  I’m a huge fan of this show.  And, in case you didn’t know, I’m not a huge fan of almost any shows.

So, I watched this show four about four hours this morning, at which point I joined my mom in her vehicle – mine is having its tires replaced – and dropped her off at work, before going to Costco.  There, I loaded up on groceries – I know, but it’s actually fabulous for groceries – and then got myself a slice of pepperoni pizza to celebrate a belated pepperoni pizza day from this week, as well as a hot dog, which came with a free fountain drink.  So, I got some ice and a bit of Sierra Mist, and then filled the rest of the cup with Pepsi (not many options, really).  

After I unloaded the groceries from the cart into the car, I sat in the car and dove in… and that pizza and hot dog and soda were one of the most satisfying meals I have had in quite a while.  As my mom said, it was an “opioid survival mechanism”, and I knew it, but I didn’t mind it at all.  I’ve been managing my calories lately, for positive health purposes (of course! I’ve actually had a really beautiful development in everything with my food lately, and I’ve been excited to be taking such better care of myself… anyway…), and I was starting to feel that I’d been just a bit lower on my intake than I wanted to be the past couple or few days, so I understood completely my sudden cravings for high-calorie, meat-packed food.

Two meals and about 1500 calories later, I was utterly satisfied, and times two.

I then got my mom’s car back to her and got back home, whereupon I continued watching Smash, eventually ate a banana and sipped some orange juice to take my evening supplements, showered, and then went right back to the show.  Finally, when an episode ended just after midnight, and on a high note for me, I closed it up fo rate night.  I have to be awake and functioning too early tomorrow to be staying up any later.

So, it may seem that the only “good” part of my day was the grocery shopping.  However, I truly think and believe that my entire day today was really great.  Well, my actions today.  Falling down the stairs was totally not cool, but I’m grateful I was turned just enough to land exactly on the meaty part of my left rear cheek – it hurt, and a lot, but it was the most forgiving spot the stair could have picked to make first contact with my body (before sliding me down a ways).  Anyway, this show-watching and pizza- and hotdog-eating day of mine was actually really great for me.  I’ve been actively working on myself in a lot of ways, several of which are rather newer approaches and such… and it hasn’t been easy.  And today was possibly the first time that I was genuinely okay not to do…. loads of stuff… not to be super productive.  It might have been the first time that I allowed myself to take it delightfully easy physically and mentally for the day, and I didn’t stress about it.  I didn’t even listen to an audiobook today, though I had several chances.  I was glad for it.  And I was grateful for it.

And I still am.  🙂

P.S. I especially enjoyed the part where one character is talking about how he staked out all night to get tickets to see RENT on Broadway in 1996, and he is saying it to Leslie Odom, Jr.’s character.  For those who don’t understand why this is particularly silly or ironic and enjoyable, Leslie Odom, Jr. joined that production in 1998.  Fun fact.  😀

Post-a-day 2020

Normal life, again

Reading the epilogue of a book tonight, I found myself smiling and marveling at one of the ideas presented by the man to his love. He is giving her money to live a life she never anticipated or even hoped to pursue, because he wants her “to live”. He doesn’t mean, he says, that she needs to be jumping off tall buildings or swimming with whales – though he very much likes the idea of imagining her doing just that – just that he wants her to live life fully, out in the world as a full participant in it.

I was truly marveling at how amazing that would be… her going out and bungee jumping off a tall building and swimming with whales. That any average girl (well, woman) would have done such things, and that it inevitably would be a surprise to anyone who found out about it, because she was just so normal a person – as opposed to an obvious thrill-seeker or adventure type, I mean. How amazing that would be if I could ever have my life be such that I could go do such things.

And then I had a thought that rather shocked me, and that I mentally sputtered over: I have.

My eyes wide, I searched my inner head for clarification on the thought that had just popped up. I already have done that…. both of those…

And then, clear as day, I saw how I truly had actually done both of those things… and I’d forgotten about them. I see myself and my life as so utterly normal, even I forgot that I had pursued such adventures. Now, to be fair, the bungee jumping was more like jumping off of a tall platform led structure than a downtown skyscraper or anything. Though, I’m not too sure it’s safe or possible to bungee off those buildings in the first place… anyway…. But that was in college. I helped a small group of folks go, and it was a total blast. And, for the whales, I have to check to verify that they count as whales. They were whale sharks, you see. One even ran right into me, and I got to feel he fellow, skin to skin, while we meandered together in the waters.

**Okay, I just verified: They are sharks. So, in a way, that part is even more shocking: I’ve swum with sharks. And not while in cages. Haha. Frightening, really. But perhaps it would be even more frightening to swim with something two, three, or four times the size… with perhaps several of them around. Hmm… how could I have that happen safely in my life? Goals… 😉

Anyway… when did I turn into this person? This person who adventures so easily, she hardly even considers herself as someone who adventures at all? Perhaps that is exactly why I keep feeling like I’m not doing the right things with my life. I feel that I am being unproductive, slow, and not myself…, and it might just be because myself is accustomed to adventure as the casual, the regular, the “Let’s grab lunch next week,” kind of statement – it’s just plain normal. And that’s why pursuing any semblance of normal life never quite feels right.

… Wow…

And that’s why pursuing any semblance of normal life never quite feels right.

Remember that, Banana.

Post-a-day 2020