What Hannah Found

I began reading last night a book that I had loved as a young girl… and I have found many similarities between myself and the main character…

Have I developed myself based on this character, though most of the details had long been forgotten, or did I originally like the book because I already related so much to the main character?

It kind of feels like I’m asking myself the deepest of psychological questions…

But it also feels like I’m asking myself a ‘chicken or the egg’ kind of question…

Post-a-day 2018

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Not because it was hot

Why did I read the book Love in the Time of Cholera?

Because Sara, in the movie “Serendipity”, pulled it from her bag, and wrote her number in it, so that, after she sold it to a used book store the next day, Jonathan would have a chance of finding it and contacting her, if fate – serendipity – allowed it.

And her character in the film has always reminded me of the girl I want to be.

So, since she had it for some reason, likely to read it, I thought I’d have it and give it a read.

And I did.

And that isn’t the oddest of reasons I’ve read books, either.

(… just in case you were wondering…)

Post-a-day 2018

Eat up, dearest

“Ah, well, have your way if you must.  But he that fasts must attempt but little and stop early.  When shall you be back?”

A God-loving man once said that to Jeanne d’Arc (in French, of course), when she denied breakfast, because she was in such an excited and exhilarated hurry to get to the day’s task (of reclaiming the rest of the the river).

Sonething about it just struck me very strongly, and gave me an experience of delight.  I suppose it was the fact that it was someone who was Catholic giving such an idea, making it an odd sort of contradiction to modern practice in the religion.

Post-a-day 2018

Atlas Shrugged (and so do I)

Have you ever read it, Atlas Shrugged?  I am listening to the audiobook while driving, and I am finding it oddly wonderful.  Occasionally, I want to jot down sentence after sentence from it, and then just give up the idea, realizing that I might as well just tell people to read the whole book, because there are only five million quotes worth sharing from it.  Obviously, that is exaggerated.  However, I gave up bothering to write down anything from it, because before I can even pause the book to write down what I’d just heard, I’ve already heard something else, something additional, that I now also want to write down.  And that goes on for quite a while, such that I would be pausing the book far too much to be able to stay in the book.  So, I don’t copy any of them down, and I don’t even bother working on remembering them either, there are so many of them.  I just listen and absorb and enjoy and wonder.  I have no idea what this book is about.  I had ideas related to something from the era of Fahrenheit 451 and the other Orwell future-is-a-terrible-place sorts of novels, but I don’t know where I got the idea – I genuinely knew nothing but the title of the book before I began reading it just last week.

But I like it so far.  It has me ever on my toes, and the reader is wonderful with making everything seem important and worth hearing.  I feel like I’m in a spy novel of some sort, but, instead of its being about a murder of some sort, it is about life as a whole, and we are spying on life as a concept, and examining each little piece and evaluating it as though it were unique and brand new to us.  All this with a love of a railroad company taking the driver’s seat, and being good at whatever work one does in the passenger seat.

Post-a-day 2018

reading to…?

I feel this sort of desperation regarding reading still, as though there is something very specific and very important to be gained by reading some undetermined but great number of books, and it is on a sort of time limitation – I must go through them as fast as possible in order to make everything okay.

Because, I guess, everything is not okay right now.

But… what if everything actually is okay right now?

…But, if it is, then what’s with the reading frenzy?

Post-a-day 2018

Bedtime perfection

Tonight, sitting in a chair that traditionally belongs in an office, at a desk, and not in a living room with a blanket on it, I paused in my book reading to focus on the music that surrounded me.  My cousin was playing at the piano.  He had gone through many pieces throughout the evening, and even in his current sitting.  I had last paid close attention when he switched to “Für Elise” – not that I have anything against it, but I’ve heard it so many times, that I don’t often enjoy focusing on it anymore… plus, I was sitting in this same room as this same cousin learned to play this piece over a decade ago; I wasn’t in a mood to listen to him figure it out all over again.

But the current piece, now it was something different.  It struck me as perfection in the moment.  I was in a dimmed room, wearing my pajamas, reading while sitting in a comfortable chair, listening to perfect, full, live piano music.  It was as though I were in a novel of Jane Austen’s, or something quite similar (only we don’t marry our first cousins these days, and I think they did back then…).

Once I had paused to take note of the piece, I couldn’t go back to my book; I had to sit and enjoy the piece fully.  It was perfection in a scenario and in the music for that sort of moment.  I felt filled with the understanding that anything is possible in my life, and comfortable with all that had happened in my day, as though this were a perfect completion and letting go of it all.

And then, I couldn’t help but document it somehow – this is how I want my life to be.  This is the bedtime scenario I want more than once in a blue moon.  Man, where are you?  Or, at least, housemate, where are you?  Come to me soon, please, and stay with me.  I want this in my regular life.  God, ready me as I need to be ready to have this in my (at least) weekly life, please.

Tonight was magic turned reality, and I loved it.  I hope to dream this just-created, extended piano version of “La la lu” tonight.

The Brief Documentation

Music is magic, when used properly.  Remember that.

Post-a-day 2018