Thursday night

I finished having dinner, showering, and generally readying myself for bed tonight while the sun was still up… I dare say that it was around 18:45 that I was up in my room, ready to begin whatever I wanted to begin after all of that.

I tidied and rearranged certain things, continuing along what I had begun earlier this week.

I listened to my audiobook, enjoying it greatly.

I found myself somewhat hungry around 20:30, and so made some tea.

It helped beautifully with the hunger feeling, and improved my already high spirits.

The evening and night have been going lovelily, indeed – it has been just as I have longed to have my average evening go, tonight, and I have loved it.

Rather than proving unsatisfying, it has proven my dream and goal worthy of existing.

I love going and doing things in life, but I am quite the homebody I’m the average night… and I like it.

I didn’t even notice that no one was with me, I was so content.

Now, I am off to final preparations for bed, so that I might wake up early and do a distanced group workout at the park at 6:30 tomorrow.

And then, I think I shall have my Friday night be rather similar to tonight’s… I have so enjoyed organizing and tidying things so well.

Plus, as I declared a while back now, I have had this feeling that I would meet my someone once I cleaned up my room and living space, and had them true to how I want it all to be…, so that is an extra little edge of delight behind it all (though by no means the main impetus).

P.S. It is only now that I realize, with the coming of May tomorrow, that I missed ‘celebrating’ the ides of March… more like lamenting, but acknowledging, nonetheless… I have for many years valued the contributions of Julius Caesar, and even joked for a time that he was my kind of guy… he was, in many ways, amazing… he was also, in every way, still a man… ‘P.S. I love you, Julius Caesar’, I guess 😛 Haha

Post-a-day 2020

Time flies

I just realized that this order expires this coming Thursday… who would have thought I would long to be forced to stay at home?

I have been so delightfully productive with my time, and so emotionally healthy because of it all lately…, I want to keep it up a while longer, I believe.

I have more to accomplish before I am ready to release myself on the normal world again.

At the very least, I suppose I had better get to work on a few specific things already this weekend, then, if I want to be sure they’re handled before outing life begins anew…

Mmhmm…

Post-a-day 2020

Today’s list

I had several things on my list for ‘want to accomplish’ today.

The first half happened beautifully.

The second half were avoided beautifully.

Instead of doing laundry and folding clothes, I rearranged a bit of furniture how I had been contemplating doing for a while now, and then I cleaned up piles of papers and such that I had had around the floor in my room.

And I organized all my paperwork and labeled it to bring to my CPA.*

It was a huge positive move, but definitely not on the list for today. 😛

I also, instead of working on the photos – I moved them to tomorrow, when I’ll be somewhere with Internet already, using my computer, and can stay a while – today, I expanded immensely the efforts I had intended to make with my Italian studies.

Until just a few minutes ago, I was working on the Italian, which was possibly the fourth time today… I even did detail work on it… and that’s saying something.

I also, instead of hopping to it on those aforementioned tasks, I got myself out of the house, down to our main park in town, and I walked.

For hours.

I even ran into a friend, and I joined her and her friend (and the friend’s daughter) for another hour plus, which started right about when I had been considering heading home.

(Suffice it to say that I walked a lot today, and it was great.)

(And I rode the park train twice… and that was lovely(!).)

All in all, I had a great day.

I even listened to a couple hours of my audiobook while cooking/eating and then walking at the park.

So much accomplished today… it feels good going to bed now, exhausted from a reason other than illness.

Not typically my style, but I would like for it to become my style.

Last week was a good start, and this week was even better… let’s keep this Sunday outdoor social activity + self-improvement stuff up, Banana. 😉

*Not that I’m bourgeais (bourgey?) or anything – I hardly have money to survive in this society at the moment; I just used to work for her, and so we have a sort of arrangement for my taxes to be handled.

Post-a-day 2020

“In my room….”*

It is 3:48am right now, and I am only just going to bed.

But – and this is a big but (but not a big butt) – I am going to bed in my bed.

I spent the last few hours cleaning up and clearing out everything from the fly miniature disaster the then week, and everything seems to be I good shape up here in my room.

So, exhausted as all else, but relieved, I am going to sleep in my own room and in my own bed tonight.

Yahoo!

Wahe Guru!

*Beach Boys song reference

Post-a-day 2019

Wishes

What do I really wish?

Not just for all of this to be fixed and for things to be clean and perfect and fresh, and for everything in my life to smell good or odorless… as much as a large part of me desires that, something deeper within me wants something more…

This part of me wants to be free of that extreme-desire-slash-necessity altogether… sure, I want things to be clean and perfect and sanitary and beautifully scented (or scent-free)…, but I want that to be just a want, not a near-incapacitating desire.

I want to be free of that need for everything to be so clean.

I wish to be myself, not this brain-trapped version of me.

That’s what I really wish.

Post-a-day

OCD for the win! (for once)

Tonight, the OCD within me has done me some good – by going that extra step with various cleaning tasks tonight, preparing for guests, I earned some “serious roommate points” from my housemate. 😛

Win-win situation for us, and it was caused by my OCD.

OCD was a good thing for once!

Post-a-day 2018

Cleaning out = unexpected exhaustion

I’m kind of exhausted.  And kind of feel like crying and curling up in a ball.
There have been a LOT of memories going through this stuff.  And, with that, has naturally come Loads of emotions.  Lots of them quite strong, too.
I guess that’s a big part of why I kept the stuff.

And as of this morning, I find myself not wanting to take on cleaning out and going through anything else right now.  Like I need a vacation from it.

Especially since so much of my stuff is disorganized amongst the various boxes, the task feels more exhausting.  Because, rather then opening up a box and re-living fifth grade, I open up a single box and am going through parts of fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, and possibly even a memory or three from before and after those years.  And going through the memories of those years isn’t just ‘going through memories’.  It’s also re-experiencing the emotions and thoughts and thought patterns of it all.  So, in cleaning through one box, I am living several years – and from the very formative years – of my life in a matter of an hour or few.  Talk about exhausting… that is exhausting.

And I want a break from it for a little while, so my mind and my nerve endings can relax again and not be so constantly overwhelmed.

Post-a-day 2018

Accomplishment: check

I sorted through almost an entire box of old papers today.  I left out about two inches worth of spirals and papers, because I knew they specifically had loads of content I would want to peruse (and possibly photograph) somewhat thoroughly.  And it was exhausting.  However, I lay down sideways for a minute or two on my bed, and then got to work on another box of mixed stuff.  I pulled out a few things for donation, more for trash, and loads for recycling.  There’s still a good chunk of papers left in this box, however, that is only about 8% of what was in the box earlier today.

All-in-all, I am quite satisfied with the progress I made today on my clearing out, cleaning, and organizing task.  It is suddenly as though an entire half of my room is in spectacular condition (while the other half has mediocre cleanliness and clutter, as well as several boxes of apartment stuff).  After having the entire room be a storage room, in which one could barely walk to get to the twin mattress on the floor, this is spectacular. 😛  Just in case you didn’t know how things were in here before.

Anyway…, I want to finish out that last 8% of the one box tomorrow, and play with the glass ball I found in it.  And yes, the glass ball is made for playing with it.  It isn’t a fortune-telling object, nor is it decoration (intentionally).  It is for playing.  And I am greatly looking forward to doing so with it.  🙂

Post-a-day 2018

Baby steps, again

I feel frustrated, so I’ll just share my list of goals to accomplish for tomorrow before 2:00-ish PM.

For tomorrow, anyhow, my goal is to hang up as much hanging clothing as is now possible in the closet space I cleared out the other week; then finish filling my dresser with clothes; fill out and send the online requests for recommendations for my grad school app; and then, hopefully, start clearing off space on the table desk, so I can start using it soon.

I have to write two-ish essays for my application.

Post-a-day 2018

Okinawa, but actually Baseboards

Okay, today was, put simply, an amazing day for me.  I stood up for myself against myself and social pressures and blah-di-blah-blah, I wandered about, I found amazing things, and I never even made it to my intended destination.  And it was fabulous.

However, I’ll not write about all of that tonight.  I’m on my phone, and I find it cumbersome and somewhat annoying to write a lot on my phone, so I’ll wait until Monday or Tuesday, when I have my computer to use.  Don’t worry, though, I took lots of pictures to remind me of what all I did today (a bit different for me, huh?), so those will help me write it all up rather accurately later on!  

Instead, tonight I will write about baseboards.

As I was showering just now, here in the Air BnB, I started wondering about how they manage cleaning of the place between visitors.  Naturally, I cut off that line of thinking almost instantly (because, of you know anything about me and cleanliness, you know I have super-mental-OCD when it comes to bathroom-related cleanliness).  However, it reminded me of dirty I have found places to be in Japan.

Now, when I say that I find places here dirty, it doesn’t mean that Japan is generally gross all over the place – the average person likely wouldn’t notice a thing, except on the odd occasion.  I mean things like door handles, hand towels, and all sorts of other little everyday things.  Things like baseboards, for example.

I never thought much about baseboards (aside from ‘kicking the baseboard’ at the end of an outside turn in two-step (the partner dance, not the song that says it over and over again)) until I was visiting my high school boyfriend’s house one day.  They were finishing with cleaning day at their house when I arrived, and his mom was assigning the final chores to him and his siblings.

“Do you want to vacuum, or do the baseboards?” she asked him.

I think he picked the vacuuming, but I’m not sure.  I asked what she’d meant by “the baseboards”, and someone explained that it was running a wet paper towel or rag along all of the baseboards in the house, in order to get and keep them clean.  I got to watch one of his siblings (perhaps it was his middle sister) then do just that, going along quickly on her knees, cleaning the baseboards.

After that, I began to wonder how my family’s baseboards stayed clean, seeing as I had never noticed anyone cleaning them in any way, and certainly not in the way my boyfriend’s family did it.  I think I never asked anyone about this, but merely wondered privately what magic was at work.

Unfortunately, though, this opened me up to a whole new world of cleaning and cleanliness.  As if I hadn’t already had enough criteria for what determined a place’s (and its residents’) cleanliness, I now had this new one called “baseboards”.  Everywhere I went, of baseboards were in view, I was suddenly aware of how clean they were.

Nowadays, it has calmed down a bit, as it is no longer a new concept for me.  However, I still notice them (and judge places and people by their cleanliness, of course).  In Japan, they have often been unclean, sometimes even layered up with dirt and dust bunnies.  (Actually, there is an extreme amount of dust bunnies at my schools – I don’t understand how they all develop, not why so many of them have to end up right by my desk, of all places.)  And, every time I find these baseboards, two thoughts occur for me.  Okay, well three. 

1) Gross.

2) I want to leave now.

3) They need to get in board with John’s mom on this one. 

(John is the old high school boyfriend, in case you didn’t gather that.)

And, since so many have proven unclean here, I’ve actually taken to avoiding looking at them.  I hardly have I think about it anymore, I just realized – I simply don’t look at them.  Thus I am able to maintain one small piece of this sanity a good handful of people in the world believe that I truly do have. 😛

So,… go check out cleaning your baseboards, kay?  Or not.  Just don’t invite me over, if you haven’t checked them and can guarantee their cleanliness. 😛
Post-a-day 2017