I have been in a state of near-panic most of the day and evening today and this evening, because fleas appeared last night in the room where I have been staying, and have transitioned from only seven last night to over fifty grabbed today, and a whole section – call it a herd, if you will, because I do – of them discovered just tonight.
Suffice to say that I am anxty, nervous, and I feel like I might break down in tears at the slightest additional provocation.
God, heal this space and me as I sleep tonight.
I wanted to snuggle with the cat tonight. Instead, he is running back and forth through the rooms, playing with the curtains, and I might have to put him in the other room, so he doesn’t destroy the curtains once I fall asleep… oh, well… I guess it’s meant to be.
Or something like that, anyway…
There’s something about rain that makes everything in life seem okay. Sure, when the rain is more like a torrential downpour that includes flooding all around town, things don’t seem so great. However, regular rain, rain like early this afternoon, with sunlight still visible here and there, that kind of rain is the perfect rain for life.
I never feel like a trapped kid on rainy days; I always feel almost liberated due to all of the creativity and possibility of life indoors for just one day. Board games and reading and art projects are a few of my favorite things, and rainy days tend to put them as the likely activities, removing the social expectation to be “more productive” with one’s time than sitting about, doing silly but fun things with ones one loves. Perhaps, too, I enjoy the fact that I can be certain that I am not “missing out” on anything out in the world when it is raining, because no one else it out doing anything either. Perhaps…
I remember a day a year and a half ago, when I lay on the floor with my cat, just hanging out while the sky released its water. We even went and sat on the covered walkway right outside the apartment door, watching the rain and the clouds together, smelling the sun-touched rain and its clouds. That was a beautiful day.