Belly, belly

That digestion still hasn’t worked itself out entirely. I lay in bed for close to an hour just now, my laptop on its side in front of me, as I watched the beginning of an interesting-so-far film about Versailles.  I could not fathom doing anything other than lying on my side, carefully placing my belly in a position that didn’t hurt quite so much as all the rest of the possible positions.  So, that is exactly what I did for a while.  But, I am rather exhausted, possibly in part due to this belly and digestion stuff and also the struggled sleep I had last night because of it all already.  So, I’ll ready myself the rest of the way for bed now, and get on into it for sleep.  I can finish watching the movie another time.

Dear Lord and God and World, please, heal my stomach tonight, that I might be happy, healthy, holy when I awaken tomorrow morning, and proceed to share love in the world, especially by means of my knowledge and my creativity.  Thank you, and amen.  😉 ❤ ❤ ❤

Post-a-day 2020

Perseids

Tonight, while awaiting the arrival of my aunt and uncle, finally coming home from their ten-week vacation, I received a message from my aunt, asking if my cousin and I were still awake. It was 10:56 when the message arrived. I called her in response, and she asked if we wanted to go see about seeing the Perseids meteor shower with them. Ten minutes later, we were on the road to meet them in a dark place surrounded by trees. It was supposed to be only fifteen minutes away, but my cousin wanted to drive, and he drove ten to fifteen miles per hour under the speed limit for some reason… and he almost ran us off the road more than once… I’m not so sure his eyesight is okay…

Anyway, we arrived to the parking lot in the median on the highway, and we lay down on some sleeping bags that my aunt had set out on the ground in front of their vehicle. The temperature had been 79°F at the house, but it was down to 74°F st this particular spot, but still with high humidity, so there was moisture around. When I lay down, my arms were wet within a minute, due to the dew on the sleeping bag.

The sky was gorgeous. I’m not sure I have ever been able to sit and see the sky like I saw it tonight, so dark and deep with stars and planets – the more of them that are visible, the more of a depth that is added to the sky… it really feels like we are in a galaxy, looking up at a sky like that… I’m not sure I have ever felt so much a part of something so much bigger than just the little world around me (literally)… it was glorious. I put my hands behind my head, and I basked in the depths of the galaxy around and above me…

So, we chatted and watched, and we all saw some meteors – my aunt kept stressing because she was always looking the wrong way at first. Eventually, though, we all saw multiple meteors. My aunt did a toast to the Perseid meteors, using the $15 whisky they had in the back of the car, and we all saluted the Perseids with a sip or so. She had tried many a times to see the Perseid shower throughout her life, and she had, at last, seen some of it.

My uncle told us a story of how, though he regularly lay in his truck bed in the driveway when he was a teen, watching the stars (and, my aunt added, listening to Peter Frampton [on his eight-track, he added]), there was one night that, with the sky dark-dark, and everyone had come for a watermelon smash at his home, a comet suddenly appeared, making the sky look bright as daytime while it passed. It freaked him out, apparently. That was in the 70s at some point. (I intend to look it up later.)

My aunt had never heard the story. And that is not very common at all.

Then, after work fumbling with her phone for a while, my aunt finally got the great version of “Baby, I Love Your Way” playing on her phone, and we all felt the time-warp nostalgia of my uncle’s nights in his pickup in the 70s. She had the volume low, too, so it really was like how it would have been back in that day.

While we were lying there after the song, my aunt said to me, “Hannah, you’re gonna have to remember this for me. Because I’m not remembering things too well these days.” I chuckled, and told her that I even would tell my cousin, her daughter, so that she, too, could help my aunt to remember this memory.

It certainly was a good one to have and to remember. 🙂

…..

Then, of course, we came home, and no one went right to bed. Dishes had to be washed (because my cousin hadn’t done it throughout the day), sheets had to be found (because my aunt didn’t like that my cousin was putting his junk on her nice sheets in the guest bedroom), and food and certain other things had to be unpacked from their vehicle. That, along with the general need for us to hang around and talk with one another, despite the fact that it was way late. We never found the sheets, but we did find something else my cousin had been looking for for a couple days so far. Finally, around 2:30/2:45, people went to bed. I had already showered and was doing stretches on my bed (i.e. the massage table), since they had finally stopped rummaging through the room for those sheets, at long last. Good thing no one is getting up early tomorrow… oh, wait… we all are. ::face palm and goodnight!

Post-a-day 2020

Wetter weather

Riding home tonight, I was quite chilled at the drop in temperature from when I had initially gone out while the sun was still up, but I knew I could handle the twenty-ish blocks I had to go, so I wasn’t worried.

Plus, I had verified that no rain percentage was forecast (above 0%, anyway), and I was heading straight home, anyway, so I would be okay.

Nonetheless, I wasn’t exactly taking my time to get up those twenty blocks to home – I was going as fast as was acceptable.

Which made it even colder for me.

And then, just as I was glad to have avoided something on the road, I feel a sort of odd spwhack! on my whole body.

Just as I begin to process the wetness of all of my exposed skin, I realize that I have just driven through a poorly placed water sprinkler.

Though it chilled me that much more, the comedy of it warmed me with laughter the rest of the way home… I could hardly stop laughing at the silliness and the irony combined.

😛

Post-a-day 2020

Sleeping in the shower

Do you ever get into a warm shower at the end of the day, absolutely exhausted and ready to be in bed, asleep, and find yourself, quite a while later, still standing in that shower, having accomplished almost nothing involved with actually showering, for you have been going back and forth between states of mostly asleep and zombie-esque nonsensical function?

Yeah, I do, too…

And tonight was another one of those occasions.

Fortunately, though, it doesn’t happen near so often as it happened when I was growing up (especially while I was in high school).

It’s no fun wasting the water, but, sometimes, we’re just that tired that we can’t seem to do anything about it – we want to be done with the shower, and so jump forward in the shower routine, not to recall at the perceived end that we haven’t even washed our hair or face yet, and then we end up washing our body again after the hair and face, because we’ve forgotten that we’d already done that part, since we went out of order in this zombied state of functioning…

::sigh……

And this all – and the idea of sleeping in the shower – suddenly brings to mind that episode of Seinfeld where Kramer decides to live in his shower full-time… he gets a phone and radio and garbage disposal (for food scraps) for his shower, and probably some other things, all so that he can spend all of his time in the shower….

However, one thing I’m not sure if I ever considered until now: How does he sleep???….

I’m not sure they addressed it in the show… sure, he could sleep in the shower, as it is cozy, but it wouldn’t be very comfortable – it’s too small to lie down comfortably to sleep, and sleeping standing doesn’t actually work for humans too well…

Cows on the other hand…..

Post-a-day 2019

This storm inside has moved outside

Desperation seems to fill my insides…

My heart rate rises, ever so slowly,

As the rain pounds…

Kilos…

Down, and down, and down…

And the lighting in the sky lights my room through the skylights,

in full and varied, rapid, never-ceasing flashes…

And the fans blow,

Because this is Houston…

And the noise is like pressure on my chest, weighing me, pushing on me, toward the ground…

I hunch over, ever so slightly, at first,

And find myself, ten minutes later, almost in a seated ball, so hunched have I become…

Avoiding the pounds… kilos… of the rain overhead…

And I am tired, physically and mentally, and sleepy, with near/exhausted eyes…

Yet I cannot seem to turn out this little light of mine, this little lamp of warm, glowy, salt-lamp-covered light… my beacon in this night, my comfort, my accompaniment, my almost friend…

The storm reigns tonight, and the lighting has something to SAY, even if the thunder is only background… yes, this lightning has something to say, and it is saying it with much fervor and a demand to be noticed…

I can hear it, whether my eyes are watching it or not…

Yes, I can hear it…

She has much to say tonight…

Post-a-day 2019

Fortunately, Not Quite Like Poe

It was a dark and stormy night…. I mean, it is a dark and stormy night, and it just so happens to be my first night in a new place…, which just so happens to be an old house that is very talkative in this wind tonight…

I feel so oddly exposed, though I am two floors up, because I am the only one here – no one is below to verify my safety, to verify that these sounds I hear are benign or, at least, fully outside and down the street…

However, life couldn’t have made it more clear that this is exactly the place for me to be right now, whatever the hardships that come with it.

So I’ll aim for rest, and possibly get it on this dark and stormy night.

Post-a-day 2018

Saturday nights

I dedicate tonight to the people in our lives with whom we can easily live, and well…

I spent the evening first playing board games with people I don’t really know, but who also lived and worked in Japan, and then with a friend and her dog and cat, just hanging together at her apartment.

At no point in the evening did a television (or Netflix or whatever) come into play – for eight hours of enjoyment, I spent time with people, and we all had a wonderful time… and, you know, I didn’t even notice the whole tv part until just now…. cool…

How often are these normal evenings for us nowadays, let alone Saturday nights?

Driving home, I passed through the drunken playground that seems to be the Washington Avenue bar strip here on a Saturday night, and I was practically bombarded with the stupidity and danger that comes with the mixture alcohol, newly adulting stress, and the desire to be liked, all so prevalent in our early-twenties folks right now…

I was not disappointed at having missed out on that scene (not only tonight, but ever)…, and I might even have felt a hint of – was it pity? – something for many of the people I saw.

Post-a-day 2018

Be better for myself

Those late nights when I’m desperate for a movie before bed, and I have an early morning the next day… when I don’t watch a movie, but do something else beautiful, like play uke or guitar before my bedtime reading, and then just go to sleep…, those nights are each a success.

Depression has this sneaky way of, well, sneaking up from normally-no-big-deal things, like watching a good film, and taking hold before I’m even fully conscious of it…

And so those nights when desperation longs for a film, and I do not give in, and I do do something good for myself, are key to my being the happy, healthy, holy person I want to be (and know that I truly am on the inside).

Post-a-day 2018

Early to bed, and you’ll miss the stars

It is difficult for me to go to bed early at night, even if I am exhausted.  I drag on the process of getting ready for bed – one which already usually takes 30 minutes to an hour – , adding in tasks that, while useful to have accomplished, are by no means necessary to accomplish that night.  Tonight, for example, I took the time to trim all of my nails, to roll my feet twice (or was it three times?) on the massage roller, to turn on and refill my little water fountain, and even to open up my laptop to write, instead of just doing something quick and short on my phone… all things that were not necessary tonight, but that I did along the way anyway, and naturally.  As I did these – rather, as I noticed that I was doing these extra steps that were making my sleep more distant than originally perceived – , I began to wonder.  And I came up with a theory.

I think it is difficult for me to go to bed, and especially to go to bed early, because I feel that there is so much to do in life, and that I am not taking advantage of my opportunities if I merely go to bed.  Sure, I could do them in the morning, as you might say, and going to bed early would allow me to get up early to accomplish things.  But what guarantee have we of there being a morning for us each day?  Yes, it is highly likely in all forms of statistics, but it is not a guarantee.  My life is right now, and who is to say that I ever will get to these things tomorrow (or any other day, for that matter), after I’ve slept and forgotten everything I’d considered tonight?  The only part where I have control is the part where I can do something now.  I am young and vibrant and here right now, so now is the time (and potentially could be the only time).

And as much as it seems absurd, I think that I genuinely feel that way about it all.  That’s why I go to sleep so late on an incredibly regular basis.  I began readying myself for bed tonight around 20h30 (that’s 8:30pm for those who don’t do the 24-hour thing… in French).  It is not after 10pm, and I still have to do my reading, which will take another fifteen-is minutes after I finish writing this.  At night, I feel as though anything is possible.  Nothing is waiting for me or expecting anything from me, and I am free to do as I will.  Tomorrow, there will be expectations of various sorts from various people for me.  But tonight, after the day’s and evening’s events are finished and the expectations met (or at least let go after failure), I am free… and what better time to do the things I’ve been wanting to do than when I am free and available and able?

Plus, I know that, if tomorrow comes, I’ll see the sunlight… I can only see the stars at night, and I can only stop to enjoy them when I have finished with the day’s requirements of me.

Anyway, those are some of my thoughts on that for tonight… goodnight!  🙂

Post-a-day 2018