Wetter weather

Riding home tonight, I was quite chilled at the drop in temperature from when I had initially gone out while the sun was still up, but I knew I could handle the twenty-ish blocks I had to go, so I wasn’t worried.

Plus, I had verified that no rain percentage was forecast (above 0%, anyway), and I was heading straight home, anyway, so I would be okay.

Nonetheless, I wasn’t exactly taking my time to get up those twenty blocks to home – I was going as fast as was acceptable.

Which made it even colder for me.

And then, just as I was glad to have avoided something on the road, I feel a sort of odd spwhack! on my whole body.

Just as I begin to process the wetness of all of my exposed skin, I realize that I have just driven through a poorly placed water sprinkler.

Though it chilled me that much more, the comedy of it warmed me with laughter the rest of the way home… I could hardly stop laughing at the silliness and the irony combined.

😛

Post-a-day 2020

This storm inside has moved outside

Desperation seems to fill my insides…

My heart rate rises, ever so slowly,

As the rain pounds…

Kilos…

Down, and down, and down…

And the lighting in the sky lights my room through the skylights,

in full and varied, rapid, never-ceasing flashes…

And the fans blow,

Because this is Houston…

And the noise is like pressure on my chest, weighing me, pushing on me, toward the ground…

I hunch over, ever so slightly, at first,

And find myself, ten minutes later, almost in a seated ball, so hunched have I become…

Avoiding the pounds… kilos… of the rain overhead…

And I am tired, physically and mentally, and sleepy, with near/exhausted eyes…

Yet I cannot seem to turn out this little light of mine, this little lamp of warm, glowy, salt-lamp-covered light… my beacon in this night, my comfort, my accompaniment, my almost friend…

The storm reigns tonight, and the lighting has something to SAY, even if the thunder is only background… yes, this lightning has something to say, and it is saying it with much fervor and a demand to be noticed…

I can hear it, whether my eyes are watching it or not…

Yes, I can hear it…

She has much to say tonight…

Post-a-day 2019

Early to bed, and you’ll miss the stars

It is difficult for me to go to bed early at night, even if I am exhausted.  I drag on the process of getting ready for bed – one which already usually takes 30 minutes to an hour – , adding in tasks that, while useful to have accomplished, are by no means necessary to accomplish that night.  Tonight, for example, I took the time to trim all of my nails, to roll my feet twice (or was it three times?) on the massage roller, to turn on and refill my little water fountain, and even to open up my laptop to write, instead of just doing something quick and short on my phone… all things that were not necessary tonight, but that I did along the way anyway, and naturally.  As I did these – rather, as I noticed that I was doing these extra steps that were making my sleep more distant than originally perceived – , I began to wonder.  And I came up with a theory.

I think it is difficult for me to go to bed, and especially to go to bed early, because I feel that there is so much to do in life, and that I am not taking advantage of my opportunities if I merely go to bed.  Sure, I could do them in the morning, as you might say, and going to bed early would allow me to get up early to accomplish things.  But what guarantee have we of there being a morning for us each day?  Yes, it is highly likely in all forms of statistics, but it is not a guarantee.  My life is right now, and who is to say that I ever will get to these things tomorrow (or any other day, for that matter), after I’ve slept and forgotten everything I’d considered tonight?  The only part where I have control is the part where I can do something now.  I am young and vibrant and here right now, so now is the time (and potentially could be the only time).

And as much as it seems absurd, I think that I genuinely feel that way about it all.  That’s why I go to sleep so late on an incredibly regular basis.  I began readying myself for bed tonight around 20h30 (that’s 8:30pm for those who don’t do the 24-hour thing… in French).  It is not after 10pm, and I still have to do my reading, which will take another fifteen-is minutes after I finish writing this.  At night, I feel as though anything is possible.  Nothing is waiting for me or expecting anything from me, and I am free to do as I will.  Tomorrow, there will be expectations of various sorts from various people for me.  But tonight, after the day’s and evening’s events are finished and the expectations met (or at least let go after failure), I am free… and what better time to do the things I’ve been wanting to do than when I am free and available and able?

Plus, I know that, if tomorrow comes, I’ll see the sunlight… I can only see the stars at night, and I can only stop to enjoy them when I have finished with the day’s requirements of me.

Anyway, those are some of my thoughts on that for tonight… goodnight!  🙂

Post-a-day 2018

Cousin Talk

Our conversation just now:

“I went and put cold water on it – I just leaned over and stuck it under the shower real quickly and stood back up, but then the water rolled down my back and went into my underwear… but oh, well… Anyway, I put cold water on it, and it almost instantly started getting better.  There are parts of it that are already back to normal color..”

“Wow.  That’s just… crazy that it did that,” he laughs quietly.

“Yeah, the vibrations irritate it and make it react, I think.  Like I said, I think I’ve had it happen before with some other massage thing or something, so I’m not worried…  But it’s getting better, so…”  and I shrug.

I continue after a few moments of observation of his resumed task, “What are you doing?”

I repeat.

Concentrating on making a fold that doesn’t want to fold, he replies, “I… uh… I’m… making a sheath.”

“Out of paper?  See if Allison has some leather you can use for it… Wait.  You have leather.  Make a real one out of leather.”

“I don’t have any that’s sturdy enough.”

“Oh,” I sigh.  “Okay.”

 

That’s how all people’s 2:30 in the morning looks, right?  😛

Post-a-day 2018

 

Nighttime Window

I open my window at night… late, late at night, when I am awakened to heat by the sounds of someone climbing the stairs to go to bed in the middle of the night, though I never know it at the time, and neither does the stair-climber.  My room is hot, too hot for comfort, especially in the middle of winter, even though it is Houston.  I crawl to the edge and climb out of my bed, down to my shoes, and stumble to the bathroom to relieve my suddenly compressed bladder.  When I return, the heat hits me like a physical wall of warm fabric floating just inside my doorway.  I stumble back to my bed, letting my shoes fall as I climb into it.  I sit for a moment, considering…  The lights are off, so it is all right.

I lean forward on my hands and knees, and I slide open the large window a few inches, before sitting back and relaxing, waiting for the cool air to stream firmly into my room.  I always consider going to sleep with the window left open.  I always close it after only a minute or few, so that I may go back to sleep, at ease.  I want the cooling air, but nothing else is welcome.  In Houston, many a thing might aim to make itself welcome through an open window at night.  And I really don’t want to wake to a rat diving between a stack of boxes.  I want to keep this room clean, please.  And so, I shut the window every time, even though I’m never quite cooled off enough for good rest.  Each night, I silently wish for a screen for the window, while disregarding the wish, because I wasn’t to see the world clearly through the window, whether closed or open, just free of screening… so it cannot be.

So, I open my window at night, out of practical reasons, but silently wish to experience the magic I feel is waiting just outside, waiting in that cool, crisp, winter wonder air.

Post-a-day 2017

Writing, math in life…

I’ve been on the phone with my college flatmate tonight, talking about writing.  Apparently, I actually do have some fun and crazy ideas that would be really interesting for people to read – she didn’t even understand how I got to the sorts of ideas that regularly come to mind, simply as the normal order of thinking in my head.  So, I guess that’s not so normal as I’d thought it to be, having such ideas so casually and regularly.

The thing is, I haven’t set up sitting down to do it.  Not yet, anyway, and not for long enough.  I’ve noticed that writing at night is not the way to go for me.  For other things, sure – I can do loads of physical movement at night.  For writing, however, I’m next to hopeless, it feels.  I don’t feel much like writing anything in the first place at night, and so I struggle to find something to write, and then I make loads of errors in what I do finally write.  It just isn’t a good combination.

Speaking of combinations, I was talking with students in my geometry class today about how math can be useful in life in cool ways.  One example was from a show my stepdad watches about the TV show “The Walking Dead”.  It’s sort of a behind-the-scenes sort of show, and this particular bit that I saw was talking about everything they had to do in order to set up a car crash.  It was really cool, seeing everything broken down, all of the things they had to organize to make it work.  The best part, perhaps, was seeing how it was pure geometry and physics that made the crash work flawlessly.

The other example was in a little photo shoot I was witnessing (and had to abandon for distress), in which the photographer said that they were supposed to be sitting in a Christmas tree formation.  But she didn’t do anything to make this happen.  She didn’t even seem to know what needed to be done for this shape to happen.  (The people in charge definitely seemed to be lacking in general crowd control and effective instructions arenas, too.)  It occurred to me that she never considered just getting the number of people – I’d have done it ahead of time, but on the sport would have worked just finely, too – expected in the photo, and dividing them up into the necessary number of people per row, based on the exact shape desired and the number of rows available.  I was about to begin the calculations as I watched, but then realized that no one was going to listen to me anyway, so it was better if I just left the stressful situation, since that was the only thing I actually could do in the situation.  So, I left.  But it proved to be a good example to the kids in class at how math is present in life in ways that people don’t even consider.  Had the photographer thought about math, – and it is likely that she didn’t, because she wasn’t very confident in or in love with math while in school – the whole photo shoot could have gone loads better than it did.  And they could have had the Christmas tree, and even decorated with “lights” or an outline, using the different shirt and jacket colors present and available.  But she didn’t, so none of that happened.

 

Post-a-day 2017

Sleep, or stare at the wall?

Do you ever find yourself lying in bed at night, thinking about nothing in particular, and just lying there with the last light still illuminated, unsure of what you are doing?  It happens to me every so often.  I wonder if it has to do with stress or decisions, or even something else like that.  I was doing it just now, though I’m not sure why.  I just know that I suddenly realized that I am uttlery exhausted, and yet I have not even tried to do my bit-o-writing and reading for the night so that I could actually go to sleep – I was just observing my fairy lights on the wall (my main night lights and room illuminations ever since I saw it at my cousin’s friend’s house when we all were in college), and not intentionally.  It’s as though I want the moment or night to last longer, without realizing the want… or something like that, anyway.

I don’t know.  I am exhausted, though, and that I do know.

Post-a-day 2017