Humpf day

Well, school starts tomorrow. I’m mostly ready for it, I think. Just need to pick some clothes and get there in the morning. Then I’ll have some time to go through what exactly I’ll be doing in my two classes for the day. And I likely will have time to prep everything for Friday, too, and get some done for next week, all before my classes tomorrow.

However, that whole plan of going to bed early, so I can gym and get to school and shower and all…? Well, a massive storm showed up, crazy hard winds and all – 50mph – and rain came down and the power blew out in the neighborhood not five minutes after I got home from the gym to cook dinner this evening. We have one candle. Fortunately, we have a gas stove, so I heated up the leftover food instead of cooking new stuff, and we ate quickly. Now, I’m sitting at the front door, just letting air into the house, because I was having trouble breathing after a little while of no power and lots of breathing from us three – the dog is going nuts, by the way, with all the thunder and lightning. I’m waiting for a lighting setup for the bathroom… I never thought I’d be a ‘generator sort’, but here I am, totally okay with his plan to turn on some lights and a fan. So it goes, so it goes, I guess and suppose. But actually, so it goes…

Anyway, Imma see if I can shower and start heading to bed now. It’s just after eight, now, and the power is estimated to return around 10:15pm. Hopefully, I’ll be already falling asleep by then, and hopefully we’ll have air even sooner than that! Fingers crossed!

Plus, this poor dog… she’s so scared, she can’t tell if she wants to curl up next to me, follow him around, or curl up inside that mailbox… (Note: She would not fit inside that mailbox, but she certainly keeps looking at it like she is considering finding out!)

Dear God, please, help me to rest well and fully tonight, so that I might do a great and effective job with school and everything else tomorrow. Help me to pursue and fulfill your will. In your name, I pray. Amen.

P.S. We got an update, and it is unfortunate. The number of houses near us without power went down, and our estimated restoration time for the remaining houses now shows as 11am… ugh… Okay, God. Thank you for this opportunity. I accept. Goodnight. Be blessed. Bless us, please. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Mad hair day

I somehow love the days
when my hair is all crazed,
frizzy, frazzled, and fried.
Though tamed by a braid
and knot on the side,
it is, somehow, burstingly wild.
On days like these,
each time I see
my hair in a mirror
I smile.
Because, for once, it feels
that my hair reveals
that dame inside,
ever wild.

I am woman – hear me roar

Post-a-day 2021

Prayer

Multiple people have told me this weekend that they are praying for me (or, from some, that they are going to start). I am grateful for all of them, for their love, and for their love for me. I think prayer is more valuable than ever it was explained to me – prayer and meditation, in my experience, are a means of consciously reaching ourselves outward into the cosmos, into all Creation, connecting our piece of energy with the abounding energy around us, and sharing an intention, that it might become a common goal amongst the atoms that make up all of this universe. Prayer is power, energy turning kinetic, slowly but surely.

That is, true prayer is such. And everything that is not quite there yet is, hopefully, working its way slowly but surely to that true connection of energy between us and the cosmos, between us and every bit of energy around us, outward and onward forever.

And, I think, that is what love is, too.

Post-a-day 2021

Are the satellites even out there?

Okay. Power just went out at 7:58pm. Not sure what the deal is or for how long the power will be out. I had stopped to play guitar for a bit just now, and was thoroughly enjoying it. The plan was to do at least one more category of tidying – letter-writing materials and tools – if not two – also Japanese art supplies. However, I will do neither tonight. I pulled out the rest of everything (I think, but will do a final check in the morning) for the letter-related stuff just now, after lighting two candles.

I’m hoping the water pressure will return in the very, very near future – I prefer flushing the toilet to pouring water into it. I was contemplating this all earlier, how we are what is call a first-world country. That involves civility, – lacking a lot this year with all the violence and hatred from both ends of the spectrum – electricity, – just over 57% of Houston has no power – and clean drinking water – a huge chunk of Houston has no water at all. So, it seems we have gone this year from a first-world country to …. what? Pathetically incapable of being self-sufficient? Utterly miserable due to our reliance on being a first-world country? Yes, I suppose. Yes, indeed.

Well, the satellites surrounding or planet are still allowing a signal through this phone, so I shall finish this business while that connection still exists.

May we all have calming, healing, empowering, and magic-like nights tonight, that we may awaken rejuvenated and filled with light and love. And dear Lord, please allow us to have that include electricity and running, clean water.

Gratitude. 🙏

Post-a-day 2021

^Easy peasy this time, for some reason 😛

Are the satellites even out there?

Okay. Power just went out at 7:58pm. Not sure what the deal is or for how long the power will be out. I had stopped to play guitar for a bit just now, and was thoroughly enjoying it. The plan was to do at least one more category of tidying – letter-writing materials and tools – if not two – also Japanese art supplies. However, I will do neither tonight. I pulled out the rest of everything (I think, but will do a final check in the morning) for the letter-related stuff just now, after lighting two candles.

I’m hoping the water pressure will return in the very, very near future – I prefer flushing the toilet to pouring water into it. I was contemplating this all earlier, how we are what is call a first-world country. That involves civility, – lacking a lot this year with all the violence and hatred from both ends of the spectrum – electricity, – just over 57% of Houston has no power – and clean drinking water – a huge chunk of Houston has no water at all. So, it seems we have gone this year from a first-world country to …. what? Pathetically incapable of being self-sufficient? Utterly miserable due to our reliance on being a first-world country? Yes, I suppose. Yes, indeed.

Well, the satellites surrounding or planet are still allowing a signal through this phone, so I shall finish this business while that connection still exists.

May we all have calming, healing, empowering, and magic-like nights tonight, that we may awaken rejuvenated and filled with light and love. And dear Lord, please allow us to have that include electricity and running, clean water.

Gratitude. 🙏

Post-a-day 2021

^Easy peasy this time, for some reason 😛

Power

BOOOOM!!!

And then all the lights go out.

And the air that had not yet been turned down from 80°F from during the day cuts off.

We had just arrived home, close to 2:30 in the morning, and I was in the middle of folding towels, so I could put the sheets on the bed, so we could go to bed. We hadn’t planned on being back until tomorrow afternoon (technically this afternoon, but whatever). But he wanted to go ahead and drive back tonight, after we finished around midnight. And so, we did. Now, it is growing harder to breathe by the minute, it is uncomfortably warm, and it is practically impossible to use the bathroom safely.

I managed to call out to Siri to give us light, and then turned on my phone flashlight to find some candles and matches in the living room (which are now dripping wax all over the cardboard we set under them on the floor – glad we did that! Whew!). I worked for a while in efforts to report the outage, but the system is idiotic. Fortunately, it was reported somehow anyway, despite its having been at 2:30 in the morning. Estimated recovery time is 5:00 in the morning, just another hour and a half from now.

One comment on the stupidity of the outage reporting: They all want you to do it online… when there is no internet, due to the power outage. Also – okay, a second comment – you cant report to outage unless you have the right company and the right user number or ID or whatever… I don’t live here, but am house sitting here. I have no idea what power company they use, nor what their user ID is. However, I know that just after 2:30am on this street, something exploded and then all the power went out, and it doesn’t look like anyone on the street has power right now. Geez… stupid systems suck big time.

Anyway, I’m off not to shower and not to have a normal night of rest, but o continue my bedtime routine stuff, and see if I can manage to sleep at all until we have air flow again.

I feel so spoiled with all of this talk. However, here’s the thing: We pay for a service that declares reliability. Therefore, we expect it to be reliable. And it hasn’t been reliable. And we’re exhausted, and I just wanted a shower and a bit of cool air, so I could pass the **** out until I had to get up to tutor in the morning.

Ugh…

Anyway… turns out that it is three and a half streets with no power right now.

Post-a-day 2020

How far we’ve come

I saw the light
I’ve been baptized
By the fire in your touch
And the flame in your eyes
I’m born to love again
I’m a brand new man

As these words rang out across the stadium – quite clearly, surprisingly, seeing as where we were – my lips were already moving in synch, silently matching every word since the initial “I”… and tears welled in my eyes, beginning almost immediately to overflow.

I was attending the Brooks and Dunn concert at the rodeo tonight in Houston, kind of as a celebration of my life, for my birthday – something for me, on my own.

I’d asked my mom to stick around with me, but she was ready to head home, so I was okay hanging on my own for the musicians and their music.

When I was about eight years old, I attended the Brooks and Dunn performance at the Astrodome, also for the rodeo.

During their performance, when walking around on the dirt, they pulled two ladies out from the audience to dance with them.

I remember distinctly being upset and embarrassed as the one lady proved, after two quick but failed attempts, that she could not do any sort of partner dancing, let alone the by of two-stepping one of them wanted to do with her.

Rather than rejecting the lady, reading her out for a better model – that’s actually how my brain analyzed it at the time – he just grabbed her around her waist/hips area, and swung her around in a circle or few.

My frustration at this lady for having been unprepared for such a monumental opportunity – dancing with Brooks and Dunn – was not only projected blindly, but had me consider how I would have done, if I’d been the one pulled out onto the floor…

I was rather confident that I would have been able to manage it.

However, I fully acknowledged that I was not certain.

And so I made it my business immediately after this event to make certain that I knew how to two-step and could do it with just about anybody on demand.

Fast-forward a couple decades, and see me at the concert tonight… I found it almost ironic that, though I never anticipated to be pulled out to dance with Brooks and Dunn, here I was, two decades later, likely one of the best country western dancers in the entire stadium, knowledge, ability, and a world title to prove it.

Isn’t that at least a little bit totally crazy?(!!!)?

Anyway, so I can dance, and extremely well, but that’s only part of my mentioning all of this.

When the guys began playing and singing tonight, I was in instant and somewhat constant tears (even throughout the whole show!), right?

Right.

And it occurred quickly to me, This is the power of music.

I was somehow transported to my life when I listed probably daily to Brooks and Dunn music, as I simultaneously saw all that had happened between them and now, how what felt like a lifetime and ten different people ago had somehow led me to today, to who I am today.

There was a lot of good and a decent amount of bad in there, especially early on, and it was a very, very full time all throughout.

And, somehow, here I am, experiencing it all again, while feeling empowered by the open bliss and joy for life I felt back then, reminded of the sadness of what I went through off and on, and encouraged by the fact that I have made it to here so far, and I’ve plenty more wonderful expansion and beautiful growth yet to come for myself in my life.

All of this from music, specific songs and notes and voices and instruments all put together in a certain way, as though, almost, specifically and intentionally with me in mind.

It was of the best kind of medicine.

And this reminds me of how my high school band director always used to tell us that music is a language… tonight, their music spoke directly to me, throughout every place within me.

Post-a-day 2019

Mutual Getting

Do you ever find that, when you’re with the people who get you, – and I mean really get you – it is easy to stay up late with them; it is no concern getting minimal amounts of sleep whenever they’re around; the traditionally hard bits to sacrifice of life are no big deal to let go?  Isn’t it amazing, the power of connection, love, and appreciation present in those interactions, that we are able not only to bear life better, but to bear the usually hardest bits of life better than we ever bear the everyday ones?  It’s always worth it with the ones who love us and get us, and whom we love and get.  Always.

Those are the relationships I want filling my life.

Post-a-day 2018

Being Beautiful & Powerful

Here, I will paraphrase a piece of a conversation I had with my mother this evening.

……………………

Mom: You are living in a culture that doesn’t see that as normal.
Hannah: And I am simply one of the frontrunners of the movement, actively working to have it be something that is seen as normal.

…………………..

It was a conversation we had while dancing at the food truck event in a neighborhood.  It was casual and fun, and we both chuckled during the conversation.  And we both meant what we said.  It felt good to state definitely that I am part of a movement.  It sounds silly to me now, but the fact that it sounds silly is kind of exactly why I am part of it.  And it is not only a powerful statement, but it is fun.

Pictures to come in the future, and hopefully in the very near future.  🙂

Post-a-day 2018