Stressed irony

Jump– jump– jump– jump

—-jump-jump

Aaaaaaahh!

Fleas are just darn terrible, especially without a pet… at least, with a pet, they stay on the pet… without the pet, they spread everywhere, and attack every warm body that passes through (which happens to be my warm body, my being the only one who actually lives here and isn’t a big of some sort)…

Ugh…

Help me, Lord… I have a struggle beyond this, and the fleas are just making everything worse and somewhat terrible.

……..

You see, have you ever heard the song “Ironic” by Alanis Morissette?

This section has lived in my head off and on ever since I first learned the song, way back when:

A traffic jam when you’re already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It’s meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn’t it ironic, don’t you think
A little too ironic, and yeah I really do think

It is all too ironic, I dare say, that this line about the man and his wife always stuck with me as a child, and now it has resurfaced in the face of reality hitting the mark of a reasonable validity in the statement.

That is, in more sensical wording, that line has come true for me.

I met this “man of my dreams” several months ago – and he even became the actual man of my daydreams over time.

Every time we are together, I am filled with light and love, and I am inspired to be the best version I can be of myself… and I want him to enjoy himself and have a wonderful time, and I take care to help along his enjoyment in the interaction.

We inevitably have a wonderful time.

And I drink up his smile.

And his eyes… those eyes that keep contact… they are that kind of eyes.

Every new thing I learn about him and every new experience I have with him increases his perfection as this “man of my dreams”.

Everything except the seemingly inevitable, that is…

I finally paid attention enough to his hands this last time I saw him – something I never seem to check on people, and so it had to be a conscious effort this time – and discovered a wedding band.

…::face palm::…

He had on another ring, too, so there was a chance it was just a ring and not a wedding band…, but then I learned of his beautiful and wonderful wife, and their beautiful darlings of children.

It was confirmed…

When I considered it all, I discovered that I truly was unsurprised by the information… just bummed.

All the good ones really are taken…(!!!)

A somewhat jokingly thought thought, but it seems to strike rather truly these days. :/

I never really expected him to be single, available… he’s too great, too comfortable in himself and with me and others… he has confidence in his place with his partner and family.

But there’s always a chance that a great guy won’t be unavailable, I tell myself, because I’m not with anyone, you know, and I’m great…

Anyway…, moving onward…

It stresses me sad to know that this guy, for sure, is not a potential partner in my life.

And… surprisingly,… yet not surprisingly,… I find hope in it all.

Firstly, that this guy exists suggests that it is possible someone else like he is could exist, someone so wonderful.

Secondly, that this guy is such a good guy that he can have a wonderful, non romantic time with me, even though he is married, makes him an even better guy than thought….

Which, then, makes the first point an even bigger and better deal…

Thirdly, there were two tiny, unchangeable aspects to him that I don’t particularly love (but that I found myself to be okay with reasonably quickly as I spent more time with the guy), and perhaps this is a piece of why he is not the one for me nor I the one for him… and perhaps the one for me will share many qualities with this guy, and yet those tiny disliked aspects will be gone in the one for me…

So, ultimately, it’s a good thing… all of it.

And… I’m even relieved a bit… no offense, but I didn’t and don’t want to have those tiny drawback aspects if I don’t have to have them, you know?

I mean, I definitely am still not quite over it all… it is still a blow to know for sure something like this, even when you had somewhat suspected it all along…, but I also can see that I will be over it, and likely rather soon.

I don’t recall at present which character where said it, but pain demands to be felt… I agree with that… when we ignore pain, it changes, but ultimately worsens.

So, I talked with my cousin, just to communicate my frustration and sadness today, because I realized it was time to let this all go… we discovered that I think I need to have a final cry to get the last dregs out and gone in the matter, so that then I can resume a wonderful friendship with a wonderful, inspiring guy.

Post-a-day 2019

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Score(!) + Ugh(!!)

Two things:

1) I learned loads at the class this morning… my evening internship was cancelled this afternoon, so I went to cheer on my friend at the evening class she was attending… moral support, you know?

Then we could have dinner together afterward.

When they were gathering for class, the coach asked about why I wasn’t joining their pow-wow… we explained… he continuously encouraged me to join, and I somewhat quickly accepted – I learned lots of technique this morning, and so certainly could use the extra practice, but also could use the weight training that I had to give up for technique training this morning (now that I know the technique, I can add weight to it all, you see).

Sure, there was plenty in the workout that wasn’t the technique-based stuff I had just learned… that mattered little – I had done the beginner version this morning, and I managed to complete the advanced version this evening (for the rest of the workout, that is, because the weight I used in the weightlifting part was still for not strong muscles… though no weight was listed on the actual workout, so I technically did everything on the advanced level this evening… cool!).

The coach was joking about enjoying our results by late summertime, and I asked if we really had to wait that long .

He said, “It depends on how hard you work.”

My friend replied to him, ‘This is only our first week, and she’s already doing two-a-days(!).’

It was a good body love and pride day.

2) The vacuum broke down as I was almost finished with everything that needed to be vacuumed before the main effective flea treatment tomorrow morning… there has got to be a lesson in all of this somehow… just what in Heaven and Earth is it???????

Ugh.

Post-a-day 2019

Playtime

Well, we are officially signed up at our gym, and paid for our first month, so yay!

And I have a treatment plan in place for handling the fleas.

AND I got to play with this little guy (read “girl”) today, and learned that she, since she was left behind and all, will be the house pet of one of the guys who have helped to rid the house of them all.

Also, we put together my friend’s new television stand, and then set up her new television (which was a sort of present from her mom), and immediately evaluated it by watching the first five minutes of “Planet Earth”… and it was beautiful.

More delights tomorrow, including anther workout at my new gym, and the first flea treatment!

Post-a-day 2019

Such a lovely day.

Ugh…

Itch itch itch itch

Scraaaaaaaaatch-ch-ch

Ugh!

Itch itch itch itch

Scra-scra-scra-scraaaaaatch-ch-ch

Mmmuh(!)

Sure, some raccoons have been ha sled (literally), but the fleas are still around, and I suddenly have a handful of extremely itchy spots…

I guess it was useful that my mother gave me a bottle of ammonia the other day, despite the fact that it was over a week after I didn’t need it anymore… guess I need it now.

Hmm… this really is quite dreadful… what shall I do l, when we can’t treat with a bomb or anything of the sort, due to the nature of the house and what has to happen here regularly – there is no naturally flea bomb yet, is there?!

Just sprays so far, which has certainly done a good job of killing them, but only when I manage to spray them directly.

Ugh…(!!!)

So much for sleeping soundly anymore – that might have been the best part of the retreat this weekend…(not having to worry about fleas)

Post-a-day 2019

R(ac)oonmate: Part II

Well, after some extreme readjusting with things – including people actually using their brains and taking over (which, oddly enough, actually meant doing what I had thought and said that I thought we needed to do all along and also just recently, with developments) – my housemate is now spending the night in a cage underneath the house… :/

The little buggar looked just oh-so-sad and pathetic, like a dog in trouble, when I first saw him down there this evening.

I had only been inside about an hour and a half, but that was enough… she hadn’t even eaten the can of sardines that had lured her yet, so I wonder if she had just been trapped when I found her.

Nonetheless, I talked with her a bit before I left, and then again when I came home just a bit ago, offering reassurance and well wishes, and explaining the rough plan of what is to come next.

Whether she can understand me or not, I feel she still deserves the care and concern, as a creature of God and all, you know?

He’s still one of us – even if he isn’t human, he’s on this planet to live life with us.

Fortunately, his cage is covered by the house and behind the protective fencing around the house bottom, so he ought to be safe down there tonight.

The guy who actually has been quite helpful with everything (who, by the way, doesn’t even work for the pest control company that has done such a terrible job of this all, but who offered to help, once he saw how things were going the other day while he was here to work on the A/C [also volunteered work]) will be here around four in the morning to take the next step.

Supposedly, if the guy opens up the house wiring and then the cage, the raccoon will do one of two things based on the situation.

1) It will leave the house immediately, because it is on its own.

2) It will rush back into the walls of the house, where it had had no food for days recently, instead of taking freedom, because it has babies up there.

If it is option number two, there will be these other little traps put out that are like super weak mouse traps with food on them, so that they will be annoying to the raccoon whenever she takes the food from them, but likely would be enough to convince her that this is not a safe place for her babies anymore, and so she then would go gather her babies and get out ASAP.

The down side of that is that she might go find someone else’s house for residence.

However, winter is over, so she doesn’t need the same protection, and most of the houses around me are so new and super protected that nothing could get into them, anyway.

Usually, he would be simply taken to this property someone has outside of Houston, but the possibility of babies complicates the matter, since raccoon moms somehow always find their way back to their babies, if the moms are moved.

So, we’ll just have to see how things go tomorrow…

Until that point, I wish blessings onto my housemate who is currently caged downstairs… may you have a beautiful life that is not in this house.

P.S. Please, take your fleas away when you go.

Post-a-day 2019

Some days

Some days, you want to go back to sleep, but you get up and go anyway, and you end up meeting just the right people (and rather unexpectedly).

And then, you want to nap, but you don’t, and you meet just the right people and you serve your community wonderfully in a much-needed way that no one else had been able to manage.

And then, you want to go to bed super early, but you don’t, because you’ve met just the right people.

And you discover that this mantra and meditation class is exactly where you needed to be, and things had to go this way today, in order for you to end up here as you did, being where you needed to be.

And you are still totally exhausted as you stumble up to bed, but you feel great through and through, because, all-in-all, it was a great day.

Yeah… some days…

Or maybe that’s just the case for me…

πŸ˜›

Post-a-day 2019

Aaaaahhhh, those blasted housemates!

Well, they’ve done it alright… the raccoons have overstayed their welcome.

It is official now that my poor bathroom, the place I must go in my home and cannot avoid, has fleas(!!!).

The raccoons have been living in the wall there the past couple weeks or so, and they seem to have brought fleas with them… the vent in the ceiling seems to be the culprit for how they’re getting into the actual bathroom from the walls.

Naturally, I despise it – nearly a year ago, I had a dreadful encounter with fleas while housesitting in this very street… any attempt at a repeat is to be obliterated, thank you very much.

And so, I suffer ever so slightly more tonight, acutely aware of the surprisingly marge number of freckles I have on my lower legs, ankles, and feet – indeed, I had no idea how many freckles I actually have down there (on my legs, of course, I mean).

I have covered my ankles and shins/calves with some essential oils I read about quickly online just now, ones that seem to be flea repellant and flea life-enders, and I have placed two bowls in the bathroom with soapy water and lit tea light candles… we shall see what the morning brings, but I have already dropped two or three in the bowls since I set them down just a short bit ago…

And yes, I am aware that that is not quite how the bowls and candles work, but, when they attack my ankles just because I’ve entered the room, I’m not apt to let them hang around on me…, and so I pinch and drop them directly into the soapy water of their future.

Ugh… you darned raccoons – I allow you a place to stay while you raise your babies, and you bring in this rubbish… how unkind of a houseguest this is.

Now, here I am in my room, panicking at every hair twinge and bit of air that brushes any part of my legs, worried at what it might be… I struggled falling back asleep this morning after I got the (I think) flea bite (hopefully) in the bathroom… I now worry at my being able to fall asleep at all tonight, or at least to sleep well and awake rested in the morning.

It seems sadly unlikely… :/

Darn raccoons… and, of course, fleas(!).

Post-a-day 2019