Does everyone know about this? Why had I not learned this years ago????
It makes total sense, and I can hardly wait to test it out in life! Now, I just need some newborn babies! 😛
Does everyone know about this? Why had I not learned this years ago????
It makes total sense, and I can hardly wait to test it out in life! Now, I just need some newborn babies! 😛
I was considering tonight how, even if I had worn my retainers to work, no one would have even known. And that isn’t because they are from Smile Direct Club, and so they are clear solid plastic, and, therefore, practically invisible when on my teeth, but because we wear masks, and so no one even sees my mouth, let alone my teeth at work. At the gym, sure I smile all the time during the tough workouts, but any other time people are nearby, masks are covering our mouths.
Which had it occur to me that this past year would have been the perfect time for people to get braces, both teenagers/pre-teens and adults alike! Think about it. Most people have either been going in to work or school with everyone in masks – teeth not seen – or have done video conferencing in which the video quality is not high enough for people to notice something so small on their screens, especially in group meetings, where even faces are quite small on the screen. 99% of one’s interactions would end without anyone being the wiser regarding the braces.
How cool is that? Same deal with having a baby, I suppose. Work from home, get pregnant, produce a baby, and wait until seeing people in person after it all, and suddenly start showing off this baby that you never mentioned to anyone outside the family. Totally bizarre, sure, but also hilariously reminiscent of high end people formerly sent away on extended visits to aunts or the likes in order to conceal pregnancy. But with a super happy ending instead, of course. Mom keeps baby.
As a note, my cousin actually kind of did that. I, of course, was in favor of her saying nothing about her pregnancy; just announcing the baby itself via a fun-themed party that no one would have guessed was about a baby (especially considering that no one would have known that she was pregnant in the first place). However, she did not do that. Naturally… haha.
Anyway, so, those are my thoughts this evening. Fix teeth. Have a baby. Get super fit! Re-enter society like nothing is new. What a fun way to spend a year of shut-downs…
21:01 on 2/21/21, a baby was born. This was also Santa Anna’s birthday. That shall make it quite easy for me to remember in the future. 🙂
Odd how seventh grade Texas History is proving so valuable in such a unique place in my life. 😛
P.S. That’s just what I’ve been calling the baby. I have no idea what its given name actually will be. In my mind, he shall always be Barnard Thompson, because that’s what he’s been for so long. 😂
A pile of laundry sits on my bed. I sit on my bed. I am exhausted. And yet I am putting photos from the camera onto my computer… both of which are also on the bed.
The photos are great, and I am delighted with their outcomes from the party Saturday.
The laundry turned out great, too, smelling lovely and clean and fresh. But I don’t see myself folding it tonight… I see myself doing my stretches and reading quickly and going to bed.
The other day, I received what I thought was a final effort from the laser hair removal place to advertise their extended Black Friday sales.
I didn’t fully read the subject line, since only the beginning shows up on my phone without opening the actual e-mail, but I saw the sender, and so opened it to see if their Cyber Monday piece to their Black Friday sales was anything worth noting.
I scrolled down, searching for the expected pricing options, but couldn’t find any… the e-mail wasn’t making any sense, somehow.
Where were the Cyber Monday discounts I expected to see inside this e-mail?
I was processing what on Earth this e-mail was from the laser hair removal place for Cyber Monday and Christmas Presents….
I read the bottom piece first, and hen went tot he top of the screen to see if I could make sense of it all…
Like What does that have to do with hair removal….? Does the hair really make that big of a difference for people? And what does it have to do with having babies….?
I was completely lost in this e-mail.
I needed to start from the beginning again.
And then I scroll up to see this:
And then super sexy guy at the gym walks in the door, we look each other right in the eyes, and I feel like my face turns bright red.
I say hi to him, somehow able to talk, despite my brain still being in the middle of processing this whole e-mail thing, and simultaneously panicking that he definitely can read my mind and the e-mail currently showing on my phone, and he knows exactly what I’m contemplating at the moment (i.e. vaginas and babies and sex)…, even though he 100% has no way of knowing what I’m thinking unless I were to tell him, and he is too far away to see my phone.
I can’t bring myself to share with him the embarrassment I am feeling, and so I message my friend who gyms with me (and who, of course, knows how firmly I stand on the belief that this guy is the most gorgeous and attractive person I have ever known in real life), and tell her what has just happened.
She laughs at the part where the super sexy guy walks in, and then asks simply, “Is it the vagina steamer?”
I laugh something terrible in the inside, and tell her, “Didn’t even get that far,” because I didn’t, and she laughs once again.
Of course she knows all about this thing of which I had never even heard.
Eventually, I start smiling, as my embarrassment fades and my logic finally wins against my panicked insanity, and I finally can enjoy the hilarity of the situation, as opposed to only knowing it to be hilarious without actually feeling anything beyond panic and embarrassment. 😛
It was a good couple minutes, that was. 😀
A conversation via text message between two girlfriends around 10:30pm one weeknight:
H: I have this slight problem in that I can’t find my pants
N: I—- [her daughter] scraped her knee and got blood all over mine
N: Which reminds me to move those to the dryer
[thirty minutes later]…
H: Ah! I’m almost certain that they are sitting on the shelf in my office 😂
You know, the usual place to keep one’s blue jeans. 😛
“Do you see me ever having kids?”
Mom considers for a few moments, then answers in all honesty, “Yeah,” nodding her head, which is tilted to one side, an after-effect of consideration.
“…I mean,” I whoosh my hands downward together, going from just in front of my chest to around the tops of my lazily outstretched legs, “… having kids.”
We both smile at this as I say, “Which is different from just having kids…”
I have discussed the idea of adoption much, and my mom has participated in some of these conversations, so she knows what I mean, and why I clarified.
We share a few moments of silent chuckling before she renews her, “Yeah,” and then we smile and chuckle silently some more.
We are at my friend’s baby shower.
There have been various games and activities throughout the evening, and she and I are sitting at a table over to the side, mostly away from the current conversation and action of the party.
She is filling in one side of the paper, on which was sentence starters regarding wishes and thoughts we want to share with the baby-to-be.
I have been casually adding to the other side on the paper, on which we had done a baby name game in which we took only letters from the first names of the mother and father, and had to come up with as many names as possible.
Some of mine were just words, but I wrote them anyway, as it helped the brainstorming process along, as well as added a funny aspect to the game.
(Examples of words: Barista, Tank, Narita, Kirin, Stink, Bad)
Though we weren’t in the current action of the party, we were enjoying ourselves, and also enjoying that we got to do it together.
When the gift-opening began, we stood by where we had been sitting, so we could see over people’s heads to the gifts and my friend and her husband, but without actually having to go sit in the mix with everyone else.
Neither one of us discussed this, of course – we each just did it naturally.
I think that part of it is a matter of our being able to comment freely on things, without having to worry about offending anyone, on the likely chance that we find something silly or tacky, or that we are reminded of something absurd.
Even if we each were alone at such a party, we likely still would end up in a similar location relative to the crowd and gift-opening area.
A bit later, just as I was stepping away to go floss-brush-floss to put my aligners back in, I commented quietly to my mom, “I love how, even though no one is here to hear is, we always have a running commentary going on over here.”
Before I’d even said the word ‘commentary’, we were both already laughing silently, but heartily, and she was nodding her head almost vigorously.
But it’s true – we always have a running commentary on things.
No, we don’t say it aloud when it could offend, and no, it isn’t always bad commentary – not at all.
It is merely commentary.
Usually, though, it is commentary that sends us both into fits of giggles at least a handful of times in an evening.
Until last night, I hadn’t realized that my mom and I shared this trait.
Yes, we share many things, and we have many similarities, but I had never noticed this one until last night.
Perhaps it was due to the fact that we had enough to say that we knew at least half the room would not find funny, and so dropped to more of a whisper on several comments, bringing attention for me to the fact that we were doing it in the first place.
And mind you, we don’t have nasty comments we’re exchanging – they just aren’t always event-appropriate.
For example, some people were discussing Disney Princesses and how they have advanced in diversifying the princesses, and how they might advance next.
My friend who is pregnant loves Disney, and had commented about dressing up as a Disney Princess before.
My mom and I exchanged the idea of, ‘Guess she can’t do that right now,’ and chuckled.
‘Yeah, teen pregnancy princess just doesn’t sound right..,’ and our silent chuckles increase, tears now considering making appearances in our eyes…
And then, upon further consideration, we add, ‘Unless Disney wants to take a big step in furthering its diversity, and somehow have a young, super-huge-pregnant Princess…., do a Juno plus Disney Princess… but I don’t think they’re ready for that one yet…’
‘Not for a while…’
Yes, the ideas are absurd.
No, we are not mean-spirited with them at all.
And, since people don’t necessarily know that we are merely brainstorming and thinking of different things, and then simply sharing about them with one another, they could become quickly offended, thinking we are trying to be rude or nasty in some way.
We love Disney and Disney Princesses.
We also know lots about the ideas to progress the diversity of them, and the struggles Disney has had with complaints regarding them.
We support the movement of diversifying the Princesses, but we also love the original Princesses, too, and understand and accept the reasoning behind them all.
We also find humor in just about anything – not in a bad way, but in a genuine way… we do not demean through the humor we find, but typically find increased fondness of the topic after finding that extra tidbit of humor in it.
Anyway, I’ll not bother with the explanations anymore – I notice that I’m worried someone will be offended – I already know that my thoughts offend people, and that’s a big part of why I tend not to share them with most people.
Perhaps that’s how we discover truly the people who love us: by sharing our thoughts with them, and their still showing up in life, without judging us harshly and leaving us out to dry, so to speak.
I’ve said for years and years that judging is natural for us – it is only human.
The difference comes in when we recognize that it is only a judgment, and not necessarily the truth.
At that point, we can choose freely whether to accept the automatic judgement we have made, or whether to set it aside and be open to discovering who and what a person truly is.
When people tell me, “Don’t judge me,” just before they do or say something seemingly silly or stupid or absurd, I often let them know something akin to,
‘I’m definitely going to judge you – I can’t not – but I won’t hold it against you in any way.’
Anyway, I’m off to bed.
I slept half the day today… my mom woke me by knocking on my door at 9am (I’d gone to bed by 11:30pm at the latest), I was tired most of the morning and midday, and then I passed out on the sofa around 3pm, only to wake up to eat some peaches a while later, and then fall right back asleep until around 6pm… and I’m still exhausted right now, struggling to get through this.
I guess my early morning workouts are taking more out of me than I thought, and sleep really is somewhat like a gasoline tank or rechargeable battery, able to be replenished at any time down the road, but demanding refueling after so many days of running on low-power mode… if that makes sense…
Anyway, goodnight, World… hasta mañana.
Today’s topic is sex, apparently, though in a totally detached and unconcerned, un-exotic approach to the topic…
This morning, listening to music on Pandora while working, I am only noticing the occasional phrase in the music, as I am rather focused on what I am doing.
However, one line of one song leaps out at me after the fact…!the song has already moved onward by far, and my head is reeling on this line it knows it just heard, though it wasn’t aware at the time.
“Tu fais l’amour en deux poussées,” was the line in this song (“Adieu”) by Coeur De Pirate, and it made me inhale sharply and chuckle heartily, all while making a silly face in response to the idea that this woman clearly just called someone out… and in a song… that’s going to be around for quite some time, and someone out there will have to know that it is about him….
My thoughts after that were merely, ‘Oh, snap!‘ repeated over and over again as I considered that one particular line.
I quickly jotted it down, laughed some more, and then continued on with my work.
So began the silly sex topic for today.
Standing in line at the store tonight, I noticed the couple who had stepped into line behind me.
The man was mumbling up a storm, leaving me to wonder whether he was even speaking English, but the woman was clearly responding in English, though not actually clearly, as she seemed to be somewhat mumbling, too, just significantly less than the man was.
I listened somewhat carefully, though still rather passively, for a minute, and determined that he was, in fact, speaking English, just super sloppily and mumbled, and then I returned to ignoring them altogether.
That is, until, another thirty seconds later, perhaps, from the cluttered mumbling that was the general sound cloud behind me sprouted a sudden inspirational clarity of language from the man.
“I should start charging you for my shirts.”
“No-oo!” responds the woman, in that two-syllabic, nearly outraged response we tend to have to absurd, somewhat stupid ideas.
I turn round in the silence that follows, curiosity demanding a glimpse of how these people look and whether they are joking genuinely or are being passive-aggressive or mean with one another.
The woman is wearing a men’s t-shirt, which I notice immediately, but is also very pregnant, which I didn’t notice at first.
I laugh as I turn around to them, and I see that the woman is somewhat smiling: they are having fun.
After a few moments of silence, the woman replies, still in a slightly outraged tone of voice, “Then I ought to start charging you for sex.”
Momentary silence ensues… the man must be thinking up his response, or perhaps he was just out in his place(?)…, but I think more the former as I am standing, enthralled and half-panicked, half-agreeing with the woman’s idea…
The man then speaks up, hurried with his words, and making a bit of a fumble, but just rolling with it, “Good thing I don’t have any money right now, ’cause I really wouldn’t owe you anything, anyway…”
Another quick silence, this one much quicker than the last.
She replies, “Yeah…,” fully acknowledging that he is accurate in his statement, and then continues, now in a genuine and honest tone, “Sorry about that…”
And they both smile, likely delighting in the future they are to have with the growing baby that presently resides underneath all of the man’s t-shirts.
Thus ended the topic of the day’s incidents (aside from writing this right now, of course).
Journal entry for August 2, 2019
Today, we learned that C— has no penis…
This evening was an extended family evening, and a rather wonderful time.
There was chatter, discussion, story-telling, and lots of laughter.
At one point, one of my cousins, G—, shared this delightful story with us, and I knew immediately that I just had to write about it, because it was well worth sharing with the world.
She and her husband have two little girls, approximately aged four years and two years, and then a baby boy aged almost ten weeks.
Her husband, C—, was changing the diaper of the baby boy, and A—, the eldest girl, was observing.
A: Daddy, what’s that?!
C: Uh, well, it’s a penis… it’s because he is a boy… he is a boy, so he has a penis… that’s what makes him a boy, instead of a girl…
A:……. But Daddy, you’re a boy and you don’t have a penis….
C:… Actually, yes, I do have a penis…
Conclusion from my cousin telling the story: Emasculated by a four-year-old. 😂
Afterward, my grandma commented that she thought it was such a shame that no one was documenting this sort of thing, – I had already determined that I was definitely writing about it tonight, but I didn’t mention anything about it – and my aunt said that the point was people telling one another stories…
My grandma was worried that the stories get lost, you see, and so my mom leaned over the counter, and starter scribbling with an imaginary pen into an imaginary book, saying aloud, “August 2, 2019: Today, we learned that C— has no penis.”
My uncle, whose son-in-law C— is, and who genuinely likes C—, nearly cried himself out of his chair, he laughed so hard at that – I mean, we all laughed rather hard, but he practically exploded with his laugher.
It was a very good little time tonight. 🙂
Thank you, God, for this blessing.
Note: Yes, yes, I know gender stuff is all up and about right now, however, I am not letting it disturb the hilarity of this particular stupendous father-daughter exchange – the story is not meant to offend in any way; it is merely something that happened that I find wonderful and worth sharing.
P.S. It occurred to me that, while I still am not there with the solo dancing I want to teach in prisons, I am at the very edge of receiving my yoga teacher certification, – a type of yoga that uses lots of meditation and mantra and healing exercises – and I could look into teaching that in prisons… something also incredibly beautiful and powerful and potentially extremely beneficial to those living in prison, especially as part of their preparation to move back into the world outside of prison… So, yeah… I’m suddenly rather inspired to get that certification finished ASAP.
P.P.S. And then, that had me thinking that I might somehow get the opportunity to do portraits of people in prison…. and that could be a beautiful project, be it for their future work portraits or for a neat project of sharing about prisons with the world… yeah… that’s gonna stay on the side in my mind, ready for when the time is right to act on it… definitely… 🙂
We’re staying at my aunt and uncle’s house tonight (though they are out of town), and I found myself noticing how baby-oriented everything here seems to be now.
No daughters living in their individual rooms, no young nieces and nephews and adult siblings and parents coming to visit all the time anymore… just their daughters visiting occasionally with their babies and tiny children.
And then I realized that a lot of their traveling is either to visit the out-of-town grandchildren or to go on vacation with the daughters and grandchildren.
And so, essentially, their lives focus greatly around their grandchildren (they’re retired, you see…. my aunt and uncle…, so they don’t do other work.)… they do house edits on their various (three) houses, and rotate between them all reasonably regularly, and then they vacation (aka grandchildren).
How interesting that must be.
How wonderful that must be… to be able to focus as much time and effort as you want on the grandchildren, and to help your children with them all you want…
Perhaps that is one of the goals people have in life – live well enough and work well enough to be free and available for your children and their children, once the grandchildren come around.
And they do it while living quite well, too… not bad at all…
Yes… perhaps this can be a sort of goal for me, too… work hard, so the kids can have everything beneficial and lovely in their lives, and so they end up pursuing the same for their children, and then be super active and available in the lives of their children while they do the hard work like you did…
It somehow seems unbalanced or unfair or, at least, like it could be done way better… but I haven’t a better solution at the moment, so I’ll keep it in mind and think on it a while in the coming day and weeks and, possibly, years…