A hard lesson I have now learned? Make sure the person in charge of the budget is fully comfortable in saying, “No,” when the answer needs to be, ‘No,’ no matter how good something sounds.
God, guide us, please. In your name, we pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2023
Well, the coughing proved to be a big problem last night. After hours of being in bed, I had barely slept a wink – I just couldn’t stop coughing, even when on the brink of exhaustion. My man came through for me and delivered some specific single-ingredient medicine – typically the only kind I want going into my system – to help stop the coughing. Well, not to stop the coughing, but to lessen it significantly. And it did just that. It took a bit to kick in, but I finally fell asleep around 3:30 or 4:00 this morning. And I actually slept. Thank you, God, for some real sleep, at last.
I had hoped only to take that medicine at night, but my coughing grew so terrible by late afternoon, I couldn’t even function. I’m still taking it easy as a whole, but I don’t like having to be on medicines like this. My body can’t truly tell where it is in recovery and what it may most need. Tomorrow is the last day of the antibiotics, and I hope I will be able to back off the rest by tomorrow night or the morning after, too.
Oh, and I hope I have a voice to use again soon, too. That would be helpful… though, I have very much appreciated this opportunity not to speak. It has been frustrating at times, but very good as a whole… a great lesson in patience for me and for my family. Makes me really want to get us into some ASL classes asap, though. You never know when you might need or want to use another language.
Prayers for healing, if you are willing and able, please, for me and for all the world.
Dear God, heal us all, please. In your name, we pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2023
I had my first golf lesson today. We started and ended early, because a massive – and I truly mean massive – storm was rolling into town. I even had to go alternate routes to get home, though it wasn’t far from the driving range, because the pouring rain filled the streets so badly. I couldn’t even see more than a few feet for a bit.
Anyway, golf lesson. It was awesome. I hit the ball and everything, and I even hit it well a handful of times. Two of them were just like… Whoosh!… That was nice… And the coach even said so on those. It felt really good on those, having good form and balance and everything, blowing the ball out onto the range smoothly, as though I had done it before already. My body liked it. It liked it a lot.
So, it looks like I will enjoy this new hobby, specifically going to the driving range. We’re already going to Top Golf next week for my man’s birthday (the whole reason I took a lesson now in the first place, since I couldn’t even hit the ball when I’d gone with my brother to a range once, several years ago). But the coach let me hold onto the starter club for now, so I can practice, and I intend to practice. Boy, do I intend to practice. I can hardly wait to fulfill one of my dreams of hanging out at the driving range, hitting balls alongside someone I love.
I was nervous, a bit scared. But this has turned out perfectly. I’m so glad I got ahold of the instructor the other day so easily, and I trusted the feeling that he would help me beautifully as I needed help.
Dear God, thank you. Thank you. Amen.
Post-a-day 2022
P.S. God, please, help us both keep level heads – literally and figuratively – when we go to the range together. Please. Thank you. Amen.
P.P.S. I even had a sport skirt and cute shirt to wear, like I knew what I was doing. No collar required at the range, but I still looked very nice and very cute! Woohoo! Thank you, again, God. And thank you to my man for making this all possible. I love you. 😉
We went dancing tonight. He attended a little lesson, then, as I had sent a photo of where I was to a friend of mine, we stuck around actually to dance for a while, because my friend wanted to join us. She brought me some shoes of hers that I could use to dance, as I only had really grippy tennis shoes or unsafe sandals with me (I had just intended to watch the lesson, then go home shortly thereafter.), and we all danced.
So, my friend and her dad and my man and I all had a jolly ole good time dancing tonight.
Thank you, God, for such a lovely and love-filled blessing. And thank you, especially, for this spectacular man. Help me always to express my love and gratitude to him, that he, at least, begin to grasp the immense blessing that he is in my life. Thank you. In your name, I pray. Amen.
Post-a-day 2022
What is it about pain that, when given to us, we so terribly want to give it back?
It is like when we purchase something from the store, but then we discover, upon arriving home, that it is actually spoilt… we take it back to the shop, saying, “Pardon me, but this is utter rubbish, and I want to return it, thanks.”
Except, at the shop, they’re likely to accept the return…
With pain, we do not do well receiving the dish without a strong desire to dish it back – perhaps not immediately, but, eventually, we always seem to want to throw it back into the server’s face: How dare you serve me such poison?!
Is it something about our experience of being so terribly unloved, that we feel we must somehow prove that we are worthy of being loved…?
Or that we are so afraid of being hurt even more, that we feel a need to put a hard shell forward and attack, showing strength that we hardly have… all just to cover up our degree of pain…?
Are we afraid to acknowledge what we might have done to be not true to our highest selves, such that someone was even able to cause us pain in the first place…, and so we avoid looking inward, and throw it all outward and back to its source instead…?
Are we embarrassed that we weren’t enough of something… to have the pain to have been avoided…?
Is it that we feel we are worth so much more than being treated as we were, but we don’t know how to show it…?
Do we really want someone else to experience the suffering we experience in life?
Plus, if we all seem to want to return pain for pain, would not the person who inflicted the pain on us in the first place have received his or her own dish of pain from somewhere else beforehand, thereby propelling him or her forward to continue the pain?
When we are angry at someone, it can seem impossible to ‘turn the other cheek’, as we were all told growing up…, to offer up yet another place for the person to inflict pain on us…
But, what if we consider someone we love dearly, perhaps more than we love ourselves…?
What if this person were hurting us…, and what if we knew this person’s extreme suffering that induced the outward actions of hurting us…?
In such a situation, I believe it would be somewhat easy to offer my other check… Go on, hit me – I know you need to do that right now…, and I am here for you, however you may need.
In Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, the monster says that his outward evil actions are the result of his intense suffering.
“I am malicious because I am miserable.”
My heart ached for the poor creature, as he told his tale of woe, and how humans had been so dreadful to him, simply because they were afraid of him, and how they gave him no chance… they gave him no love of any kind…
What could happen if we approached all of our own pains inflicted from the outside in this way?
Would we no longer be longing to throw it back at the giver, but, instead, be aching to help ease the giver’s intense wounds of the heart that had him or her do us harm in the first place?
When I think of my own desire to cause pain to those who have hurt me, it is intense pain that propels the desire… how must people be suffering, if they are dishing out pain so freely and actively?
How lonely they might be…
Funny… (and by funny, I mean something else, of course) I suddenly find myself wanting to go hold and hug and comfort the person who last hurt me, to apologize… for what?… for my desire to make him suffer…, for any role I played – that I believe I played – in hurting him some already, though very differently than I was hurt…, for every thought of ill will I have had toward him…, for all the pain he must be in to have hurt me as he did… and I want him to experience being loved truly and cared for, to experience that he is not only worth it, but absolutely enough just as he is…
Yes.
Wow.
And then, another comes to mind… I am not by any means at a point of actually wanting to do this myself, but I can see how much that person must have been lacking in love – how miserable that person must be, in some level within, whether aware of it or not – in order to cause such misery to others, to me… it is almost heartbreaking…
Just, wow…
Okay.
I think I have found my new mentality to practice in life right now… how to offer up my whole self and never be hurt, by bringing love to the table… patience and pure, true, and free love.
Like free hugs… only better.
Like Michael Jackson’s constant serenade to me as a child, we can heal the world, make it a better place for you and for me and the entire human race…
I’ll start with my little corner, and see what happens… hopefully, we light the world on fire with this love, it will be so profound, so powerful… so true.
Post-a-day 2020
Two things:
1) I learned loads at the class this morning… my evening internship was cancelled this afternoon, so I went to cheer on my friend at the evening class she was attending… moral support, you know?
Then we could have dinner together afterward.
When they were gathering for class, the coach asked about why I wasn’t joining their pow-wow… we explained… he continuously encouraged me to join, and I somewhat quickly accepted – I learned lots of technique this morning, and so certainly could use the extra practice, but also could use the weight training that I had to give up for technique training this morning (now that I know the technique, I can add weight to it all, you see).
Sure, there was plenty in the workout that wasn’t the technique-based stuff I had just learned… that mattered little – I had done the beginner version this morning, and I managed to complete the advanced version this evening (for the rest of the workout, that is, because the weight I used in the weightlifting part was still for not strong muscles… though no weight was listed on the actual workout, so I technically did everything on the advanced level this evening… cool!).
The coach was joking about enjoying our results by late summertime, and I asked if we really had to wait that long .
He said, “It depends on how hard you work.”
My friend replied to him, ‘This is only our first week, and she’s already doing two-a-days(!).’
It was a good body love and pride day.
2) The vacuum broke down as I was almost finished with everything that needed to be vacuumed before the main effective flea treatment tomorrow morning… there has got to be a lesson in all of this somehow… just what in Heaven and Earth is it???????
Ugh.
Post-a-day 2019
“And so,” said Mr. Cat, “it is ever so wise to keep your tail under close watch. You never know what might be after it.”
The young little kittens stared in awe as Mr. Dog walked past happily with a baby gripping solidly to his tail, trailing after him.
“Crazy dogs love that stuff… but not we cats. No, sir-ee. They can enjoy the babes on the floor, and we’ll enjoy the windowsill.” After a few moments of consideration, he added, “And papers, of course. Really important ones, if possible.”
Post-a-day 2017
Today, I had a driving lesson. Though it wasn’t so much a driving lesson as it was my asking questions to a friend while he let me drive his car. Japan drives on the left, so I wanted to have a practice session before going off on my own on the roads. Not that I even have a car or anything, but I’m thinking about getting at least a scooter, to help with exploring better, as well as getting around to places with significantly increased ease.
Anyway, it was fun. It’s magical how our brains can so easily flip-flop the physics for us, allowing me to be on the opposite side of the car, yet still drive well and safely. Way cool. 🙂
Post-a-day 2017
hannah ananas 