Organized

You know, I sometimes feel extremely disorganized, but then, when I pause to think about it, I realize that I am very much not disorganized, not in the least. Really, I’m just lazy, and I don’t want to out in the work to make things run more smoothly and to have them appear to all, myself included, as organized. So, instead, I roll through everything in my head, and I have it all organized there, but rarely so out in the world around me.

And so, now that I’m teaching again, I’m wondering if I wouldn’t mind teaching for real again, if I just took the darn time to sit down and organize everything out on paper for the whole four years of coursework. If I did that, I think I might love teaching and be fulfilled by it in a way that I never was before. There was too much strain and stress to meet goals and standards and to figure things out quickly along the way. But, if I weren’t so lazy, it might save me loads of stress and hassle and strain for years, and, therefore, be worth the effort…

But do I really want to teach for years?

Post-a-day 2021

Actually, inefficiency killed the cat

I just don’t do inefficiency. Period.

Perhaps it is my German blood that flows within me, but I automatically look for the best, most efficient way to do just about anything, whether I’m the one doing it or not, and whether I want to do the evaluation or not. Actually, I’ll often purposely turn my attention away from something that I am not doing, because I know that I, within seconds, will be spending brainpower on developing significant improvements on the effectiveness and efficiency of that noticed activity (e.g. ignoring the guys grinding and paving the streets this past week-ish on the street where I live).

Tonight, I got a little too frustrated for comfort with utter inefficiency. I can accept that other people will be inefficient. However, please, do not waste my time and effort with your inefficiency, people. Please. I just can’t stand it – my brain will not tolerate it for long, as logic defeats your inefficiency every time.

***I reference the second person here as a general idea, not as you, the reader, so, please, accept that I am not accusing you, the reader, of inefficiency. If you are inefficient, however, I invite you to reconsider those ways for more efficient ones. 😉 ***

For me personally, I’m not sure that I do anything in a way that I deem as inefficient. If I have to get up to do something a more efficient way than I would be doing it lying on the floor, either I will get up and do it and then lie back down, or I will rest (if it doesn’t have to be done right now) as I am, and then get up later and do the task when I am ready. I will not do a lazy version of it from my spot on the floor. I just won’t do it.

Now, let’s be real here: I am totally lazy. I do not deny it. That’s a huge part of my efficiency, really. I do not want to waste effort. Ever. And so, I aim to be as efficient as possible, and with everything that I do, so that no effort is wasted. We only have so much energy and effort and time in a day; let us not waste any of it.

So, yeah…, I was extremely frustrated tonight. I wonder what there is for me to improve within myself on this – managing how strongly it effects me, most likely – so I shall consider that specifically and intentionally over the next day or few, and see what comes up.

Post-a-day 2020

Today’s list

I had several things on my list for ‘want to accomplish’ today.

The first half happened beautifully.

The second half were avoided beautifully.

Instead of doing laundry and folding clothes, I rearranged a bit of furniture how I had been contemplating doing for a while now, and then I cleaned up piles of papers and such that I had had around the floor in my room.

And I organized all my paperwork and labeled it to bring to my CPA.*

It was a huge positive move, but definitely not on the list for today. 😛

I also, instead of working on the photos – I moved them to tomorrow, when I’ll be somewhere with Internet already, using my computer, and can stay a while – today, I expanded immensely the efforts I had intended to make with my Italian studies.

Until just a few minutes ago, I was working on the Italian, which was possibly the fourth time today… I even did detail work on it… and that’s saying something.

I also, instead of hopping to it on those aforementioned tasks, I got myself out of the house, down to our main park in town, and I walked.

For hours.

I even ran into a friend, and I joined her and her friend (and the friend’s daughter) for another hour plus, which started right about when I had been considering heading home.

(Suffice it to say that I walked a lot today, and it was great.)

(And I rode the park train twice… and that was lovely(!).)

All in all, I had a great day.

I even listened to a couple hours of my audiobook while cooking/eating and then walking at the park.

So much accomplished today… it feels good going to bed now, exhausted from a reason other than illness.

Not typically my style, but I would like for it to become my style.

Last week was a good start, and this week was even better… let’s keep this Sunday outdoor social activity + self-improvement stuff up, Banana. 😉

*Not that I’m bourgeais (bourgey?) or anything – I hardly have money to survive in this society at the moment; I just used to work for her, and so we have a sort of arrangement for my taxes to be handled.

Post-a-day 2020

How You doin’?

How am I doing, she asks?

I’m doing okay, I think. Dealing with a school mental struggle of being tired of it and not wanting to do semi-pointless work (i.e. work that serves no value whatsoever in why I am getting the degree). I got sick, too, and so that aligned interestingly perfectly with the assignments, and so they are excused from being late. I still don’t want to do them, though. Life has become so interesting outside of school recently, it makes me want to take a big break from school, possibly permanently. But mostly because ‘I don’t Feel like it(!)’, and I’m not sure if it really has anything else behind it. Laziness might just be all there is in the matter, ultimately. :/

That’s the just bulk of my daylight hours… evenings and nights are a whole ‘nother conundrum these days. 😛

How are you doing?

Post-a-day 2019