You know, I sometimes feel extremely disorganized, but then, when I pause to think about it, I realize that I am very much not disorganized, not in the least. Really, I’m just lazy, and I don’t want to out in the work to make things run more smoothly and to have them appear to all, myself included, as organized. So, instead, I roll through everything in my head, and I have it all organized there, but rarely so out in the world around me.
And so, now that I’m teaching again, I’m wondering if I wouldn’t mind teaching for real again, if I just took the darn time to sit down and organize everything out on paper for the whole four years of coursework. If I did that, I think I might love teaching and be fulfilled by it in a way that I never was before. There was too much strain and stress to meet goals and standards and to figure things out quickly along the way. But, if I weren’t so lazy, it might save me loads of stress and hassle and strain for years, and, therefore, be worth the effort…
But do I really want to teach for years?