Happy Christmas

I had my man open tonight all his presents that I’d put under the tree. I don’t give Christmas presents, but I determined to have some fun for him this year, to let him be like a little kid and to shower him with gifts. Almost everything was either gained second-hand or from free gift cards, so the total cost was around $50, yet there were loads of presents for him to unwrap. He had said he liked opening packages, so I made sure he got to do just that tonight.

I also surprised him with my ticket to come visit with him in Mexico. (Granted, that one was several hundred dollars, but I’m also visiting my step-sister in Monterrey with the tickets, so it will be two trips for the usual price of the one, plus $40… not at all a bad deal, especially since I get to spend New Year’s with him, visit the town he loves, and see my step-sister and her family.)

He got me nervous by asking if I’d ‘approved this with anybody’. But, afterward, he said it was totally fine. His mom would be surprised, as he’d just told her two days ago that I wasn’t coming. But that everything would be okay. I’m still in a little bit of that space of unease, probably because it gave me the feeling of being in trouble, but I’m just going to let it be and see what happens. Hopefully, the concern will clear up on its own just by my allowing it to express itself.

I really hope he enjoyed everything I did for him tonight. And I’m really excited to set up the Play Station 3 that my mom gave us from her house (used to be my brother’s, but he didn’t need or really want it). We likely won’t get to play together until mid-January, after he’s back, but that’s okay. I’m excited about it, nonetheless.

Dear God, please, help us to rest well tonight. Keep us both safe in our travels. Help us to pursue and to fulfill your will by being our best selves. Thank you for everything. And please, heal my uncle – help him to join you fully. In your name, I pray. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Christmas

I can hardly believe tomorrow is Christmas Eve. Time has been flying in an odd way this season. Well, we shall do a bit more prep for his trip on Monday tomorrow. Otherwise, we get to hang out together and then go to midnight Mass. We might go to my brother’s for homemade takoyaki, but we’ll have to see. I really want us to be able just to hang it together tomorrow and the next day.

Thank you, God, for the blessings of today. And thank you, especially for the heat we now have in our home. In your name, I pray. Amen.

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Getting ready

Family is coming over tomorrow for dinner. We spent today doing things on each of our to-do lists (which I had made the day before yesterday). Still no gas, so we have new oil space heaters from The Home Depot that he picked up during his several errands today. We have cute, seasonal-ish tissue boxes around the living space, now. I reasonably handled everything that I’d brought from the apartment, and so the dining room is cleared out and cleaned up. I handled whatever else I’d had sitting around the living spaces. I got my man to help remove the broken tiny lightbulb in the little chandelier in the dining room, and then replaced it with the brighter bulb and put the thing back together – looks and works great now. I set up the red and white towels and napkins and dish towels and rugs my mom dropped off yesterday for us to use as Christmas decor… and then I took most of them back down and out them in the washer, as they had obviously been in the storage unit for a few years (or more), based on their feel and sniff-scent (which is when you only can smell it up close, not a radiating scent). I poured the kettle of boiling water into the freezing cold wash, just to help however I could. Then I hung them all out to dry overnight. The big towels are resting atop parts of the oil heaters now, as they are big fluffy towels that likely wouldn’t be dry by tomorrow afternoon otherwise. (And yes, I know what I’m doing here, as I spent years drying my clothes on such heaters. Never cover the front part.) I set up the decorations I liked from the tubs my man pulled down from storage in the garage, including a little village and two tree skirts – yes, I did the one, then found a nicer one, and so put it just in top of the other, saving the effort of picking it back up – and a funky punching-bag-looking, triangular sandbag Santa and a few other little things to put around the house.

I also made a wreath from the scraps I’d picked up the other day at the Christmas tree lot. Hopefully, we can find the old door hook and hang it on the front door tomorrow.

And I wrapped all the little gifts I’d had stashed for my man, and I put them under the tree, atop the pretty little skirt.

I set up the two power strips for the village and for the lamps and internet extension and tree lights. And I put lights on the tree, as well as a single ornament I’d found of a red fire truck, old style, and a few candy canes. I left the rest of the canes for my man to dress the tree, though. I’d wanted to decode it together, but realized that neither of us has any ornaments, anyway. So, candy canes, down separately will do. He was in the room when I did the lights and candy canes, anyway. Sure, he was vacuuming, but it counted well enough for this hurried night of to-dos.

Oh, and I also put away and tidied some clothes in the spare room, put some things away, put some things in the give-away pile, made a Santa hat for our St. Francis statue in the kitchen, put various beverages tidily in our outside fridge, cleaned up the drink area of the garage, and fed us a bit.

My man ran a bunch of errands, handling a lot of important stuff for us both, and giving the dog a fun adventure. He put the stove back in its nook against the wall (even though it doesn’t have any gas yet). He built what I estimate to be about 35 feet of fence on the side of the house – and it looks good. He pulled out all the Christmas lights for the house, starting to sort them and ready them. He tidied his stuff a bit on our back patio, and a bit in the house, too. He helped me light our Advent candles on our newly-placed-out advent wreath from my mom, while I sang the lovely German song for lighting the Advent candles (and he joined for the last chorus!). And now he’s at the gym, working out and then taking a hot shower.

Tomorrow, I have to tidy the office, especially my desk; put away the hang-upside-down board (obviously, the right words are not coming to me so late at night right now…Inversion table! Got it!); wash dishes with my ridiculous boil-pour-dip method of using the water kettle to handle our lack of hot water; set up the German cookies and chocolates I got; clean all surfaces; work – yep, still have to get those few hours of coding stuff in!; take a nap; fold the napkins and put all the towels back, once all are dried… and that might be it…. Oh, and hang up the wreath on the front door! I also would like to tidy more in the spare bedroom, and handle finishing touches on everything.

My man has to work his whole work day – he’d have taken the day off, but his boss is already off tomorrow, so he’s just rolling with it – and he also has to put up the Christmas lights on the house, finish tidying in the back, and finish tidying his things inside the house. Hopefully, he’ll also get a nap!

We can do it. I know we can. God, please, help us do it with grace and ease, if you will. Thank you for everything. In your name, I pray. Amen.

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First Impressions

‘I didn’t really like [———] at first.’

‘I didn’t either… She was very much a ‘CrossFit You got this!’ coach as her first impression… Maybe she’s just really shy.’

‘Maybe.’

‘I really like her now, though. She’s really cool.’

‘Yeah. I like her, too.’

The casual conversation during an absolutely terrible movie that I forgot wasn’t actually a Hallmark Christmas movie, but a NETFLIX(!!!) one… 1) That movie was shockingly terrible in all respects, despite the premise being cute. 2) I wonder how often a shy person in a setting that requires extroverted interactions gets a bad rap, when, really, everyone actually would love the person, given a different initial setting.

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P.S. “The Noel Diary”… I’ve warned you. Enjoy! 😛

Advent-agious

And thus begins Advent, a season of preparation for the coming of Christ Jesus (also known worldwide in English-speaking communities as “baby Jesus”). May we all find beauty in the struggles of our preparations for welcoming God into our lives wholly and newly this Christmas season. May God’s will be done among us all, and May we be our best selves. May our Advent be very advent-agious both to ourselves and to the world at large. Amen.

Post-a-day 2022

Get your head in the game

But, sometimes, the head really hurts when we get too much into it all. Sometimes, we just need to have some cool water and pass out in bed.

God, please, grant me rest-filled, healing sleep tonight. In your name, I pray. Amen.

P.S. Happy Christmas in July!! Guess it is just like the holidays for some folks! 😛

Post-a-day 2022

Set my eyes upon you…

Tonight was the For King and Country concert after the rodeo. My mom and I were both surprised at how much we enjoyed it. Those guys are loving and love-filled, and they are blessing the world with both their music and their words. It felt like Church, somehow, tonight, homilies included. And they actively made a call to restore chivalry and to love, honour, and respect women at all stages and relationships for the priceless children of God that they are.

It was awesome, really. And they love to play drums (and some other instruments mixed about). They reminded me both of little kids at play and of the scene in Tarzan where all the animals are making music with the human camp’s stuff. It was a blast to be with them tonight.

What’s even more spectacular than what I’ve already mentioned? The fact that, at the end of the concert, when it seemed over – lights were off and everything – they did a sort of encore, beginning with saying, “Merry Christmas, Houston,” and then playing/singing “The Little Drummer Boy”. Spectacular. Dreams come true… I was just singing Christmas music the other day, and listening to some. Naturally, people think I’m nuts for wanting it outside of November and December. But I like to spread it throughout the year, instead of to cram it into an overload just before Christmas itself.

So, yeah… good night.

At that, goodnight!

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(Still have I think about it ^)

Uhm, what?

Around 1:30pm today, I was worried. I hadn’t gone to the gym. I guess I had forgotten…, but how did that happen, I wondered? I thought back to when I went to bed last night, and how I got up this morning… and just a sec.. I did go to the gym this morning… What??

Yes, I had gone to the gym this morning. But so much had happened since then, I had felt like it was a totally different day already – the gym felt so, so long ago already. Bizarre, of course, but phew! I was worried there for a minute or two.

I was still restful today, but differently. I did accomplish a bit of the laundry this evening, which was a good start. Now I just need to progress tomorrow or Wednesday – going to help pack up at my grandma’s house out of town tomorrow. I managed important tutoring stuff this morning, providing help on literary analysis essays. I went to a stage production of Truman Capote’s “A Christmas Memory” with my mom at noon. It was great acting, to be sure, and we both enjoyed the little production and seeing a new stage. Though, I was exhausted and my eyes were closing a bunch throughout the show. Yes, I absolutely followed the whole thing, but my eyes definitely did not see the whole thing.

I can home and took a nap after the show, as I was so tired, and then went for my laser hair removal session. I had purchased what is called a Brazilian extension/extended area package. Aka -****Warning for real-body language coming up here**** – the labia, the anus, and the inner edges of the buttocks. However, I didn’t know about the labia part when I first got the package. By the time I tested how things felt and worked up the courage for myself, I had them start doing the labia, too. I’ve finished with all the rest of the lasering of hair, but now am making up for the lost time/sessions on the labia. It was really hard for me to say the words or loud for this, and I still am working on it, but I have improved much in my confidence, willingness, and comfort with the conversation and words, and I am grateful. The fact that I am writing this with real words at all speaks volumes to my improvement.

Anyway, I’m planning on a Secret Santa gift for a coworker. She likes Pocky and Anime, among other things. We have a $10 limit. So, I got her a Costco package of Pocky for $9, and am writing out three sheets of calligraphy for her in Japanese. One will be the name of our company in Japanese, one will be her name correctly written in Japanese, both of those using the foreign words alphabet, and one will be kanji of her name in Japanese (the Chinese characters that have the same pronunciation as her name in Japanese, and give a new meaning to her name with each character’s individual meaning). My mom and I both think she’ll enjoy it all, especially since she’s a huge anime fan. Usually, that spans a broad spectrum of just about anything tied to Japan and Japanese language. I hope she really enjoys them all. I know I would love such a gift! … Speaking of which, I wish I had people who thought out and planned it things like this for me more in my life. I love planning and plotting and, finally, giving gifts to people. But I sometimes end up just a little bit sad afterward, because almost no one ever does anything similar for me. Just my mom, really.

Anyway, in that somewhat sad note, I shall sign off for the night. I think I need to allow myself to experience this sadness, in order to allow it to be heard, at last, and to set it free. So, I shall sleep from here and feel the sad if no special presents for right now.

P.S. My mom and I celebrated Hl. Nikolaus day today together. We both brought each other things that had been ‘left’ with shoes in our own houses for each other. It was absolutely silly, but quite wonderful. I always loved December sixth as a child, and I’m glad I get to love it again. Last year, he brought me all the fixings for and a sewing machine itself. This year, he brought me spices, sweets, heart-shaped agates and stones, and some of the greatest leggings ever. I am quite grateful!

Post-a-day 2021

Goals by Christmas

Have a beautiful, humble, honest, loving man to love me and hold me and comfort me.

Speak Italian effectively in my thoughts (in my head and aloud) and in at least one actual conversational interaction with a native speaker.

Be financially comfortable and confident.

Go on a long run at least once, and embrace the air.

Be ridiculous loads, having fun while at play with the world around me.

Teach people wonderful things.

Love people openly.

Be open with people with my words.

Love myself wholly.

Sing and play much music.

Including some good Christmas music.

Sleep well and effectively at night.

Drink lots of tisanes and some teas.

Embrace my beauty as a goddess embodied in this human life.

Release freely what does not serve me at large and at small.

Learn some Python basics.

Increase my splits and kick height/ease.

Post-a-day 2021

Meanderings in my mind

I still have a Christmas tree up on my wall. It doesn’t even occur to me most days that it would have a reason to come down – it merely is part of my regular lighting in my room. It is in my illumination setup. It just also happens to be a Christmas tree… 😛

Okay, on a totally separate note – although tangentially connected via the cold weather of Christmastime, and holiday cheer, and desire to snuggle up to a loved one with that hot chocolate and film and all – I keep finding myself in an odd space lately. On any given day now, it seems, at some point or other, I find myself passively wondering whether I’m hungry, and my body wants and needs food, or if it just wants sex. On most of those occasions, now, unfortunately, I end up eating, only to discover that it was actually both.

Total facepalm…

Dear body, what are we doing to one another?? And what are we to do??

Big siiiggggghhhhhhhhh… we shall prevail.

Until then, however, I’ve got to sort some s*** out, so that I get myself out of this funk of rolling through each day, only by looking forward to something down the road; no longer present or joyful in the here and now, but simply biding my time until the ‘something better’ happens at last. I want to live now, where and who and how I am. So, it’s time to let go of some attitudes and avoidances, Hannah Banana, and Goggins this s*** out, and Oh, shit myself back on the log.(!!!)

P.S. If you don’t get the reference, it is to David Goggins. I am currently reading his book, and am loving it and the ways I am taking it on in my life so far.

Post-a-day 2021