Meanderings in my mind

I still have a Christmas tree up on my wall. It doesn’t even occur to me most days that it would have a reason to come down – it merely is part of my regular lighting in my room. It is in my illumination setup. It just also happens to be a Christmas tree… 😛

Okay, on a totally separate note – although tangentially connected via the cold weather of Christmastime, and holiday cheer, and desire to snuggle up to a loved one with that hot chocolate and film and all – I keep finding myself in an odd space lately. On any given day now, it seems, at some point or other, I find myself passively wondering whether I’m hungry, and my body wants and needs food, or if it just wants sex. On most of those occasions, now, unfortunately, I end up eating, only to discover that it was actually both.

Total facepalm…

Dear body, what are we doing to one another?? And what are we to do??

Big siiiggggghhhhhhhhh… we shall prevail.

Until then, however, I’ve got to sort some s*** out, so that I get myself out of this funk of rolling through each day, only by looking forward to something down the road; no longer present or joyful in the here and now, but simply biding my time until the ‘something better’ happens at last. I want to live now, where and who and how I am. So, it’s time to let go of some attitudes and avoidances, Hannah Banana, and Goggins this s*** out, and Oh, shit myself back on the log.(!!!)

P.S. If you don’t get the reference, it is to David Goggins. I am currently reading his book, and am loving it and the ways I am taking it on in my life so far.

Post-a-day 2021

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