Achy Faith

My body has been sore the past several days, and I am extremely grateful for it.

I have finally begun to do exercises again, thanks to my having reached out to a friend for help with accountability and support, and her acceptance of the request… It seems only fitting, because we used to go to the gym together in the first place, before everything closed, and then she moved.

Now, for the time being, anyway, neither of us is in Houston.

But we work out st the same time together, she at 5:30pm after work, and I at 4:30pm, the time I used to attend in-person classes…, and it works, because she is on the East coast now, so we actually exercise at the exact same time.

It still sucks to be paying for a gym membership to a gym that medicine and society tell me not to attend, but I would rather be safe than yelled at or blamed or sorry (or, even, sick)…, so, I stay away from the one place I ever really feel called to be on a daily basis, the one place I miss most…

But I am, at last, doing workouts at home again, using the workouts the owner originally made for us back when the gym closed for a while, and everyone had to work out at home together.

So, I could technically just cancel my membership, and do these workouts on repeat for the rest of my life, if I wanted… but I don’t want to do that.

I am using this gym’s workouts, even if they are old, and so I will maintain my membership.

It feels absurd, but right – I have thought on it many times, and I feel incredibly uncomfortable at the idea of canceling my membership…, so, I have let it go – I’ll stay a member and just suck it up… something about this will balance out, and it all will be beautiful and perfect.

I have faith in this.

P.S. A family friend – he’s our personal car and motorcycle expert – wants me to buy this great quality vehicle off of him, since they never use it anymore… it’s a Porsche Cayenne… what on Earth???… So, I might be upgrading from an old, crank window, semi-falling-apart Hyundai Accent, that was ranked as being worth $245 two and a half years ago on Kelley Blue Book, and that is not very reliable beyond an easy ten- or fifteen-minute drive… to a Porsche… Woah

Post-a-day 2020

Bellyache

Ugh… I’m sitting here, all together to write out these letters, and I just can’t do it!

My belly hurts too much.

Well, it’s more of a discomfort than a hurt, but still it sucks(!).

I want to write these letters, I really, truly do…, and I can’t even focus on what I want to put into a single One of them, I’m just so uncomfortable sitting here.

Ugh(!)

(!!!)

I’ve got to ha dale this somehow, because tonight is the night to get here letters going…

Post-a-day 2020

More scared than actually sick

My stomach has ached and I have been consistently nauseous for the past four or five days…

Just about any food – and I mean the idea of it – makes my stomach curl in concern.

I feel as though I am growing paranoid about whether I’ll be able to find the right foods to make this all end, and am thereby making it all worse by being so distraught.

I don’t know how pregnant women do it for weeks at a time, and get through it okay, because it’s only been a few days of nausea for me, and I’m a total pathetic case of wanting someone to take care of me while I curl up in bed, borderline crying. 😛

Post-a-day 2018